#vol62issue12 — Public Fediverse posts

Olympics Bans Trans Athletes From Women’s Events

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/olympics-bans-trans-athletes-from-womens-events/

NASA To Build $20 Billion Moon Base

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/nasa-to-build-20-billion-moon-base/

RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-i-am-6-animal-penises-away-from-curing-cancer/

RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-i-am-6-animal-penises-away-from-curing-cancer/

Norris God

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/norris-god/

Trump Weighs Deploying 340 Million More U.S. Troops To Middle East

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/trump-weighs-deploying-340-million-more-u-s-troops-to-middle-east/

Study: Infants Respond To Rustling Of Potato Chip Bag As Early As 3 Weeks

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/study-infants-respond-to-rustling-of-potato-chip-bag-as-early-as-3-weeks/

Study: Infants Respond To Rustling Of Potato Chip Bag As Early As 3 Weeks

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/study-infants-respond-to-rustling-of-potato-chip-bag-as-early-as-3-weeks/

Ina Garten Brings In Intimacy Coordinator For Shot With Fresh Lemon Tart

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ina-garten-brings-in-intimacy-coordinator-for-shot-with-fresh-lemon-tart/

Ancient Scroll Reveals Lost Miracle Of Christ Correctly Guessing People’s Weights

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ancient-scroll-reveals-lost-miracle-of-christ-correctly-guessing-peoples-weights/

Trump Boys Help Bring Down Energy Prices With Homemade Perpetual Motion Machine

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/trump-boys-help-bring-down-energy-prices-with-homemade-perpetual-motion-machine/

How ICE Is Assisting TSA

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/how-ice-is-assisting-tsa/

New Epstein Estate Photo Shows Trump Waterskiing In Pyramid Formation With Underage Girls

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/new-epstein-estate-photo-shows-trump-waterskiing-in-pyramid-formation-with-underage-girls/

Ina Garten Brings In Intimacy Coordinator For Shot With Fresh Lemon Tart

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ina-garten-brings-in-intimacy-coordinator-for-shot-with-fresh-lemon-tart/

Ancient Scroll Reveals Lost Miracle Of Christ Correctly Guessing People’s Weights

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ancient-scroll-reveals-lost-miracle-of-christ-correctly-guessing-peoples-weights/

Delta Suspends Special Congressional Services Amid TSA Shutdown

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/delta-suspends-special-congressional-services-amid-tsa-shutdown/

ChatGPT Convinces Sam Altman To Kill Humanity

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/chatgpt-convinces-sam-altman-to-kill-humanity/

ChatGPT Convinces Sam Altman To Kill Humanity

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/chatgpt-convinces-sam-altman-to-kill-humanity/

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Taylor Frankie Paul

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-taylor-frankie-paul/

FDA Approves Lettuce That Can Be Remotely Detonated In Event Of Recall

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/fda-approves-lettuce-that-can-be-remotely-detonated-in-event-of-recall/

FDA Approves Lettuce That Can Be Remotely Detonated In Event Of Recall

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/fda-approves-lettuce-that-can-be-remotely-detonated-in-event-of-recall/

Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/florida-bill-to-ban-first-cousin-marriage-fails-to-pass/

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/economists-warn-that-even-their-friends-son-who-went-to-business-school-cant-find-a-job/

42-Year-Old Woman Refers To Herself As ‘Preggerz’

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/42-year-old-woman-refers-to-herself-as-preggerz/

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/economists-warn-that-even-their-friends-son-who-went-to-business-school-cant-find-a-job/

White House IT Guy Sends Out Reminder Memo About Child Porn

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/white-house-it-guy-sends-out-reminder-memo-about-child-porn/

Robert Mueller Dead At 81

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/robert-mueller-dead-at-81/

ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ice-agents-swab-passengers-hands-to-test-for-immigrant-residue/

ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/ice-agents-swab-passengers-hands-to-test-for-immigrant-residue/

Audience Aghast As Haggard Hannah Montana Confronts Miley Cyrus Onstage

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/audience-aghast-as-haggard-hannah-montana-confronts-miley-cyrus-onstage/

Mom, Dad Disagree About How Dad Likes Eggs

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/mom-dad-disagree-about-how-dad-likes-eggs/

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/

Audience Aghast As Haggard Hannah Montana Confronts Miley Cyrus Onstage

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/audience-aghast-as-haggard-hannah-montana-confronts-miley-cyrus-onstage/

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/

Mom, Dad Disagree About How Dad Likes Eggs

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/mom-dad-disagree-about-how-dad-likes-eggs/

Cameraman Sitting Under Basket Spread-Eagle

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/cameraman-sitting-under-basket-spread-eagle/

Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-announces-two-halves-of-buns-must-be-married-before-becoming-sandwich/

Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-announces-two-halves-of-buns-must-be-married-before-becoming-sandwich/

Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/political-profile-markwayne-mullin/

Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/political-profile-markwayne-mullin/

Suspect Waits Patiently While Cop Sounds Out Miranda Rights

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/suspect-waits-patiently-while-cop-sounds-out-miranda-rights/

Suspect Waits Patiently While Cop Sounds Out Miranda Rights

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://theonion.com/suspect-waits-patiently-while-cop-sounds-out-miranda-rights/