#privatecoaching — Public Fediverse posts

I realized a while ago that probably 90% of the pain in my life came from my perspective of the experiences that I'd had, not from the experiences themselves.

I created the vast majority of my own pain through my thoughts.

That truth didn't bother me at all. It was actually a good thing.

That meant that my life hadn't been particularly traumatic. It meant that nothing had happened that I couldn't handle. It meant that once I figured out where the pain was from and what to do with it, I could be okay. It meant that I literally just had to be able to manage my focus and I would be fine.

I didn't beat myself up because I had a screwy focus.

I didn't beat myself up because I'd created all my own pain.

I just accepted that those younger versions of me were doing the best they could. I tried. Life happened. What I was doing wasn't working, but I was trying, even if unsuccessfully. Personally, that's good enough.

I don't need to wish it away. I don't need to go back and change it.

It made me who I am now. It gave me a passion for helping others fix their focus, shift their perception, and get out of their own way. I'm grateful for that journey and what it offered me.

Shifting my focus wasn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world but it wasn't as painful as some of the healing processes I've watched others work their way through.

So yes, I'm here to challenge your perception of things and challenge your focus. What are you paying attention to? How is that making you feel? Why are you focusing on pain and problems?

I don't have all the answers. I just know that when you manage to get control over the mind, you shift your focus away from the struggles, create a relationship with what you want, and you move in that direction, life gets better.

If you want life to get better without wading through pain neck deep, I have a way to do this that doesn't require you to swim in the pain, it just requires you to shift your focus.

I'm going to challenge you to think differently, because that's what I do. But when you're ready to think differently and you're tired of defending the problems, I have options.

I've been talking about this all week! I'm offering a brainstorming session on Sunday called Your Focus Matters. It's a chance to just chat and see what shows up. We'll talk about focus and perception. We can talk about balance and how to manage the pain. We can talk about all the things that are coming up for you right now. I'll be there to answer the questions. And yes, I'm going to challenge your focus.

I've been so busy talking about Your Focus Matters this week that I haven't been offering my private coaching packages, but they are still there. Private coaching is for those that want the deep dive into focus shifting. This is for those that truly ready to let the focus on pain go. I have multiple options and payment plans available.

I truly don't believe life needs to be that hard. Most of it is about what we focus on, not about what actually happens. I want to show you how that works and how you can do it for yourself.

Come join me on Sunday! It's a cheap way to have a chat with me and begin the process of shifting your own focus. Here's the link.

https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#focus #focuscoach #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #selfmasteryofthemind #healing #spirituality #perception #perspective #privatecoaching #yourfocusmatters #brainstormingsession #journey #paths #feelbetter

Being wrong, screwing up, making mistakes, effectively just being human.

I saw this somewhere else so I'm going to use it as an excuse to talk about it.

Who has a problem with that? What do you do to manage that problem for yourself? What does that look like?

Personally, I used to never admit mistakes because that made me feel like I would need to defend myself and I couldn't do that. I didn't own up to a lot of things for a long time because of the fear that I would be criticized and have to change who I was to appease the other person. That was how I functioned.

Part of the healing process was owning my shit and admitting when I screwed up. The other part of the healing process was getting okay with being human so that I didn't have to beat myself up for it.

Learning to be okay with making mistakes and being human comes with recognizing that we're all just doing the best we can at any given moment. We try to make the best choices we can and sometimes when we do that it doesn't work out the way we want it to. Sometimes we don't have access to all the information we need. Sometimes our own pain sneaks in there and skews the choices for us.

Unlike math class, where there was only one answer to the problem, life doesn't generally work that way. Nobody is coming at you with a big red pen to scribble on your work anymore. I see where needing to get the right answer in math class creates this perception that answers are black and white. They are either right or wrong and that there is no middle. But there is a middle. There is a "maybe" and a "sort of". Those things are okay.

Life doesn't have the same pass or fail system that math class did. When you screw up in life you have the opportunity to own it and correct it. That's the key. Giving yourself that power and making that part okay helps to free you up to try things and see what happens without fear of making mistakes.

Putting the bar so high that it becomes unachievable keeps you stuck. It doesn't allow you to try anything. It won't even let you get started because you know you'll never reach your own crazy expectations. That's a trap that you set for yourself out of fear of the other stuff, of what people will think, of what will happen next, and of what you'll end up thinking of yourself.

It just doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to do that to yourself. I got out of it. You can too and I can help when you're ready.

I have private coaching packages and one-off sessions available for those that are ready to work through the struggle, because ultimately even this is about your focus. What are you paying attention to? What are you thinking about? What stories are you telling yourself? When we shift those things, these fears and stories stop happening. We end these cycles. We make the changes to our behavior. We fix the problems that we created for ourselves.

Here's my link. You can reach out if you have questions.
https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

P.S. I do have free coaching spots available for those can't afford the packages. Check out my website or message me for details.

#itsokaytoscrewup #mistakeshappen #healing #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #spirituality #perfection #NotRequired #dontdothistoyourself #itsatrap #stopthecycle #privatecoaching #healer

Being wrong, screwing up, making mistakes, effectively just being human.

I saw this somewhere else so I'm going to use it as an excuse to talk about it.

Who has a problem with that? What do you do to manage that problem for yourself? What does that look like?

Personally, I used to never admit mistakes because that made me feel like I would need to defend myself and I couldn't do that. I didn't own up to a lot of things for a long time because of the fear that I would be criticized and have to change who I was to appease the other person. That was how I functioned.

Part of the healing process was owning my shit and admitting when I screwed up. The other part of the healing process was getting okay with being human so that I didn't have to beat myself up for it.

Learning to be okay with making mistakes and being human comes with recognizing that we're all just doing the best we can at any given moment. We try to make the best choices we can and sometimes when we do that it doesn't work out the way we want it to. Sometimes we don't have access to all the information we need. Sometimes our own pain sneaks in there and skews the choices for us.

Unlike math class, where there was only one answer to the problem, life doesn't generally work that way. Nobody is coming at you with a big red pen to scribble on your work anymore. I see where needing to get the right answer in math class creates this perception that answers are black and white. They are either right or wrong and that there is no middle. But there is a middle. There is a "maybe" and a "sort of". Those things are okay.

Life doesn't have the same pass or fail system that math class did. When you screw up in life you have the opportunity to own it and correct it. That's the key. Giving yourself that power and making that part okay helps to free you up to try things and see what happens without fear of making mistakes.

Putting the bar so high that it becomes unachievable keeps you stuck. It doesn't allow you to try anything. It won't even let you get started because you know you'll never reach your own crazy expectations. That's a trap that you set for yourself out of fear of the other stuff, of what people will think, of what will happen next, and of what you'll end up thinking of yourself.

It just doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to do that to yourself. I got out of it. You can too and I can help when you're ready.

I have private coaching packages and one-off sessions available for those that are ready to work through the struggle, because ultimately even this is about your focus. What are you paying attention to? What are you thinking about? What stories are you telling yourself? When we shift those things, these fears and stories stop happening. We end these cycles. We make the changes to our behavior. We fix the problems that we created for ourselves.

Here's my link. You can reach out if you have questions.
https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

P.S. I do have free coaching spots available for those can't afford the packages. Check out my website or message me for details.

#itsokaytoscrewup #mistakeshappen #healing #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #spirituality #perfection #NotRequired #dontdothistoyourself #itsatrap #stopthecycle #privatecoaching #healer

Being wrong, screwing up, making mistakes, effectively just being human.

I saw this somewhere else so I'm going to use it as an excuse to talk about it.

Who has a problem with that? What do you do to manage that problem for yourself? What does that look like?

Personally, I used to never admit mistakes because that made me feel like I would need to defend myself and I couldn't do that. I didn't own up to a lot of things for a long time because of the fear that I would be criticized and have to change who I was to appease the other person. That was how I functioned.

Part of the healing process was owning my shit and admitting when I screwed up. The other part of the healing process was getting okay with being human so that I didn't have to beat myself up for it.

Learning to be okay with making mistakes and being human comes with recognizing that we're all just doing the best we can at any given moment. We try to make the best choices we can and sometimes when we do that it doesn't work out the way we want it to. Sometimes we don't have access to all the information we need. Sometimes our own pain sneaks in there and skews the choices for us.

Unlike math class, where there was only one answer to the problem, life doesn't generally work that way. Nobody is coming at you with a big red pen to scribble on your work anymore. I see where needing to get the right answer in math class creates this perception that answers are black and white. They are either right or wrong and that there is no middle. But there is a middle. There is a "maybe" and a "sort of". Those things are okay.

Life doesn't have the same pass or fail system that math class did. When you screw up in life you have the opportunity to own it and correct it. That's the key. Giving yourself that power and making that part okay helps to free you up to try things and see what happens without fear of making mistakes.

Putting the bar so high that it becomes unachievable keeps you stuck. It doesn't allow you to try anything. It won't even let you get started because you know you'll never reach your own crazy expectations. That's a trap that you set for yourself out of fear of the other stuff, of what people will think, of what will happen next, and of what you'll end up thinking of yourself.

It just doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to do that to yourself. I got out of it. You can too and I can help when you're ready.

I have private coaching packages and one-off sessions available for those that are ready to work through the struggle, because ultimately even this is about your focus. What are you paying attention to? What are you thinking about? What stories are you telling yourself? When we shift those things, these fears and stories stop happening. We end these cycles. We make the changes to our behavior. We fix the problems that we created for ourselves.

Here's my link. You can reach out if you have questions.
https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

P.S. I do have free coaching spots available for those can't afford the packages. Check out my website or message me for details.

#itsokaytoscrewup #mistakeshappen #healing #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #spirituality #perfection #NotRequired #dontdothistoyourself #itsatrap #stopthecycle #privatecoaching #healer