#funnyquotes — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #funnyquotes, aggregated by home.social.
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." - Erma Bombeck
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I." - Oscar Levant
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Fred Allen
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle." - Robert Anthony
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I." - Oscar Levant
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Fred Allen
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle." - Robert Anthony
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Funny Quote of the Day: "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
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Funny Quote of the Day: "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Fred Allen
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle." - Robert Anthony
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." - Walt Disney
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle." - Robert Anthony
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Funny Quote of the Day: "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." - Walt Disney
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Funny Quote of the Day: "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." - Walt Disney
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Funny Quote of the Day: "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
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Funny Quote of the Day: "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway
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Funny Quote of the Day: "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I have never been hurt by what I have not said." - Calvin Coolidge
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Funny Quote of the Day: "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." - Lana Turner
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I have never been hurt by what I have not said." - Calvin Coolidge
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Funny Quote of the Day: "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." - Lana Turner
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Funny Quote of the Day: "A year from now, you're gonna weigh more or less than what you do right now." - Phil McGraw
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I have never been hurt by what I have not said." - Calvin Coolidge
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school." - Albert Einstein
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Funny Quote of the Day: "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" - Abraham Lincoln
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“She’s smart… but I’m smart and dramatically faster than the speed of light.” ⚡😂
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity." - Thor Heyerdahl
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure." - Earl Wilson
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Never fight an inanimate object." - P. J. O'Rourke
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." - Franklin P. Jones
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Funny Quote of the Day: "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." - Bob Hope
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Funny Quote of the Day: "There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." - Sylvia Plath
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Funny Quote of the Day: "The trouble with super heroes is what to do between phone booths." - Ken Kesey
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing." - Wernher von Braun
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Funny Quote of the Day: "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman
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Funny Quote of the Day: "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Under every stone lurks a politician." - Aristophanes
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Funny Quote of the Day: "All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They." - Rudyard Kipling
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Truth is a tendency." - R. Buckminster Fuller
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?" - James Thurber
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I don't necessarily agree with everything I say." - Marshall McLuhan
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Funny Quote of the Day: "I have an unfortunate personality." - Orson Welles
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Funny Quote of the Day: "An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed." - A. J. Liebling
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives." - Samuel Johnson
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done." - Peter Drucker
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
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Funny Quote of the Day: "Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired." - Jules Renard
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Funny Quote of the Day: "A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane." - Jackie Kennedy
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Funny Quote of the Day: "People will buy anything that is 'one to a customer.'" - Sinclair Lewis
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Funny Quote of the Day: "All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." - Sean O'Casey
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Funny Quote of the Day: "When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'" - Don Marquis
