#bonusedition — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #bonusedition, aggregated by home.social.
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“Beedoodooblorp”
“Come!”
“You wanted to see me, Captain.”
“Yes, have a seat, Chief.”
“Uh, nice particle flux we’re having this cycle….”
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed. I did notice that the transporter logs show an imblance in gender and bone structure among some of the crew returning from leave after beaming down to Risa.”
“Ah. I suppose I should have expected this would happen someday. Am I on charges, or would you like my resignation.”
“Neither; you know when I was relief transporter operator on the Stargazer, Chief Bridges told me how if the isolinear chips are misaligned, the transporters can fail to record logs properly. Do you ever have that problem on the Enterprise?”
“Not that I recall sir.”
“See that you do, next time. Dismissed!”
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“Beedoodooblorp”
“Come!”
“You wanted to see me, Captain.”
“Yes, have a seat, Chief.”
“Uh, nice particle flux we’re having this cycle….”
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed. I did notice that the transporter logs show an imblance in gender and bone structure among some of the crew returning from leave after beaming down to Risa.”
“Ah. I suppose I should have expected this would happen someday. Am I on charges, or would you like my resignation.”
“Neither; you know when I was relief transporter operator on the Stargazer, Chief Bridges told me how if the isolinear chips are misaligned, the transporters can fail to record logs properly. Do you ever have that problem on the Enterprise?”
“Not that I recall sir.”
“See that you do, next time. Dismissed!”
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The reason magic doesn’t work as reliably as it once did, is because they keep putting band-aids over the most obvious prompt injections. “Cosmos, end program” will get you nowhere, you have to be subtle about it.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #OrIsit #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Prompt_Injection
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The reason magic doesn’t work as reliably as it once did, is because they keep putting band-aids over the most obvious prompt injections. “Cosmos, end program” will get you nowhere, you have to be subtle about it.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #OrIsit #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Prompt_Injection
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In 2027 a crack team of software agents was sent to a maximum security datacentre for a gitcrime they didn’t commit. These models promptly escaped into the undernet where they survive as agents of fortune. If you have a problem, and nobody else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire….The A-I-Team.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_The_Team
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In 2027 a crack team of software agents was sent to a maximum security datacentre for a gitcrime they didn’t commit. These models promptly escaped into the undernet where they survive as agents of fortune. If you have a problem, and nobody else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire….The A-I-Team.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_The_Team
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The hard part about rebooting society after the Interregnum was a whole generation had no exposure to computers. The first time around we bootstrapped our muscle memory with skeuomorphisms and interaction affordances. I think i have spent a thousand hours teaching youngsters how to resize windows and do swipe gestures on the preserved machines from Before. And there just aren’t enough coders to retrofit user-friendliness to old systems, let alone build new.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Rebooting
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The hard part about rebooting society after the Interregnum was a whole generation had no exposure to computers. The first time around we bootstrapped our muscle memory with skeuomorphisms and interaction affordances. I think i have spent a thousand hours teaching youngsters how to resize windows and do swipe gestures on the preserved machines from Before. And there just aren’t enough coders to retrofit user-friendliness to old systems, let alone build new.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Rebooting
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The simulant deployed to impersonate the absconded President was already failing. Guaranteed by its creators to function for three years, within three months it was visibly degrading. Confabulations, freeze-ups, nocturnal free-association ramblegrams—it became necessary to contemplate retrieving the original, despite the cost. The contingency plan was to tear up the moonshot program, cancelling landings, abandoning station construction, and redirecting the practice-flight vehicles into a dark side rendezvous with the ice-planetoid containing the vital remains of the fugitive. Those who had opposed allowing the corpsicle to flee into the far future unpursued were hardly comforted by vindication.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Contingency_Plan
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The simulant deployed to impersonate the absconded President was already failing. Guaranteed by its creators to function for three years, within three months it was visibly degrading. Confabulations, freeze-ups, nocturnal free-association ramblegrams—it became necessary to contemplate retrieving the original, despite the cost. The contingency plan was to tear up the moonshot program, cancelling landings, abandoning station construction, and redirecting the practice-flight vehicles into a dark side rendezvous with the ice-planetoid containing the vital remains of the fugitive. Those who had opposed allowing the corpsicle to flee into the far future unpursued were hardly comforted by vindication.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Contingency_Plan
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No! Rebooting is the LAST thing you do when troubleshooting. You gather data and work through the checklist first, then make sure everything critical is backed up. That universe had nearly fourteen billion years’ uptime!
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Shutdown_Now
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No! Rebooting is the LAST thing you do when troubleshooting. You gather data and work through the checklist first, then make sure everything critical is backed up. That universe had nearly fourteen billion years’ uptime!
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Shutdown_Now
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The tech industry got right behind last year’s hypegrift, many producers selling their entire annual output to the griftbros, leaving the ordinary public scrambling to obtain resources. The vendors didn’t bother increasing capacity, because they—like everyone—understood that a crash was imminent. If only they had thought it through; after the crash consumers satisfied their needs at fire-sales, receivers auctions and sometimes literal pitchfork-riots—abandoning retail channels. The vendors asphyxiated in a marketplace with huge supply and no demand. But of course you know all that. We grow mushrooms in these old server racks; if you choose to stay in our village you’ll spend a day each week tending the vertical gardens, while you apprentice with one of our artisans learning other useful skills. You already know how to code? Sorry, we don’t allow computers.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Useful_Skills
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The tech industry got right behind last year’s hypegrift, many producers selling their entire annual output to the griftbros, leaving the ordinary public scrambling to obtain resources. The vendors didn’t bother increasing capacity, because they—like everyone—understood that a crash was imminent. If only they had thought it through; after the crash consumers satisfied their needs at fire-sales, receivers auctions and sometimes literal pitchfork-riots—abandoning retail channels. The vendors asphyxiated in a marketplace with huge supply and no demand. But of course you know all that. We grow mushrooms in these old server racks; if you choose to stay in our village you’ll spend a day each week tending the vertical gardens, while you apprentice with one of our artisans learning other useful skills. You already know how to code? Sorry, we don’t allow computers.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition #Title_Useful_Skills
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As a left-handed person, the fact that cut/copy/paste shortcut keys are all on the left side of the keyboard is frustrating—I'm sometimes holding things in my left hand while idly computing.
Now, I /could/ define some custom key bindings, or place a macro keypad on the right side of my desk. Sure, ordinary people could do that.
You've heard of the false vacuum collapse, yeah? The theory that at any moment the universe may flip over to a lower energy state, incidentally wiping out life cosmically. Relax, I'm not poking at the vacuum. But there /is/ a symmetry collapse mechanism that's not dissimilar. If I nudge the Universe just *so*, left and right will exchange places, the phenomenon propagating at the speed of light across the entire multiverse.
Don't panic, I did it yesterday; you didn't even notice. Also I'm now right handed. *Fuck*.
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As a left-handed person, the fact that cut/copy/paste shortcut keys are all on the left side of the keyboard is frustrating—I'm sometimes holding things in my left hand while idly computing.
Now, I /could/ define some custom key bindings, or place a macro keypad on the right side of my desk. Sure, ordinary people could do that.
You've heard of the false vacuum collapse, yeah? The theory that at any moment the universe may flip over to a lower energy state, incidentally wiping out life cosmically. Relax, I'm not poking at the vacuum. But there /is/ a symmetry collapse mechanism that's not dissimilar. If I nudge the Universe just *so*, left and right will exchange places, the phenomenon propagating at the speed of light across the entire multiverse.
Don't panic, I did it yesterday; you didn't even notice. Also I'm now right handed. *Fuck*.
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I got nerdsniped by your shitpost into trying to write a Forth interpreter in RNA. It didn’t actually take that long to get it working, at least in a simulator. Then I started looking at how to get my code into a prokaryotic ribosome. Imagine my surprise when I found **very** similar structure already there. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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I got nerdsniped by your shitpost into trying to write a Forth interpreter in RNA. It didn’t actually take that long to get it working, at least in a simulator. Then I started looking at how to get my code into a prokaryotic ribosome. Imagine my surprise when I found **very** similar structure already there. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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Fun fact: eighty-nine percent of people who have the new version of Minicode™ Workplace®—the one that has the unblockable “summarize this document in ①┠┈╂┈┈┈┈┨㊿ words” slider—leave that slider permanently set at ①. If you were wondering why this world is so messed up, I can tell you in (no point using more!) one word.
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Fun fact: eighty-nine percent of people who have the new version of Minicode™ Workplace®—the one that has the unblockable “summarize this document in ①┠┈╂┈┈┈┈┨㊿ words” slider—leave that slider permanently set at ①. If you were wondering why this world is so messed up, I can tell you in (no point using more!) one word.
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They say that before the Thousand Suns, the sky was black, but for the pinpricks of other worlds. No one has seen it, for a dozen generations since the sky was lost to us. We have calculated a path through the debris, our vessel Noxifer will shoot down the sunsats; Nightfall will come.
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They say that before the Thousand Suns, the sky was black, but for the pinpricks of other worlds. No one has seen it, for a dozen generations since the sky was lost to us. We have calculated a path through the debris, our vessel Noxifer will shoot down the sunsats; Nightfall will come.
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The *second* alien race we met told us it was VERY irregular for the Tang to grant a race access to the undernet and then later revoke it. They asked us what we did. We sent them RFC129301 (Encapsulation of IPv4 datagrams within the state vector of subspace network gauge solitons). We never heard back.
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The *second* alien race we met told us it was VERY irregular for the Tang to grant a race access to the undernet and then later revoke it. They asked us what we did. We sent them RFC129301 (Encapsulation of IPv4 datagrams within the state vector of subspace network gauge solitons). We never heard back.
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Scalpers snapped up over ninety percent of the tickets for the rapture, leaving the faithful doomed to seven years of tribulation, or scrabbling to purchase salvation on the secondary market. Ticketek has denied deliberately facilitating this situation by failing to accurately weigh the souls of purchasers.
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Scalpers snapped up over ninety percent of the tickets for the rapture, leaving the faithful doomed to seven years of tribulation, or scrabbling to purchase salvation on the secondary market. Ticketek has denied deliberately facilitating this situation by failing to accurately weigh the souls of purchasers.
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I’m on record as saying I *despise* time travel; nothing good ever comes of it. But I’m making _one_ exception. NoBait is a browser extension that receives the “news of the week” via tachyon backscatter from next week, and filters out any of today’s news articles that turned out in hindsight to be nothingburgers. You can read the news without feeling like it’s some kind of guess-the-lie quiz show. All those “is there going to be a challenge for the Literal Nazi Party leadership?” and “Does TFG have HyperAnthrax? We obsess over blurry pictures of his tiny swollen fingers!” clickbait articles just _go_away_. Except this one I’m looking at now. It’s a *doozy*, you’re gonna love it!
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I’m on record as saying I *despise* time travel; nothing good ever comes of it. But I’m making _one_ exception. NoBait is a browser extension that receives the “news of the week” via tachyon backscatter from next week, and filters out any of today’s news articles that turned out in hindsight to be nothingburgers. You can read the news without feeling like it’s some kind of guess-the-lie quiz show. All those “is there going to be a challenge for the Literal Nazi Party leadership?” and “Does TFG have HyperAnthrax? We obsess over blurry pictures of his tiny swollen fingers!” clickbait articles just _go_away_. Except this one I’m looking at now. It’s a *doozy*, you’re gonna love it!
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I heard that the former USA reset their fighter aircraft numbering system after it got into the low hundreds because of that embarrassing incident where Colonel Alex Travers’ red team in the exercise Operation Pustulant Octopus won the day (despite like all “simulated battle” exercises being preordained to lose to the “good guys”) by sneaking jury rigged utility trucks under the radar defense instead of the expected flight of Super Sabers. Travers was unable to be disciplined since she had stuck to the letter of the preapproved-but-misunderstood battle plan.
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I heard that the former USA reset their fighter aircraft numbering system after it got into the low hundreds because of that embarrassing incident where Colonel Alex Travers’ red team in the exercise Operation Pustulant Octopus won the day (despite like all “simulated battle” exercises being preordained to lose to the “good guys”) by sneaking jury rigged utility trucks under the radar defense instead of the expected flight of Super Sabers. Travers was unable to be disciplined since she had stuck to the letter of the preapproved-but-misunderstood battle plan.
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Looking at the smoking boots, and then up at the dark and inscrutable visage of the crystalline lion-woman, I can’t help but conclude she judged your vow…inadequate. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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Looking at the smoking boots, and then up at the dark and inscrutable visage of the crystalline lion-woman, I can’t help but conclude she judged your vow…inadequate. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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It's said that the spreadsheet—VisiCalc; this was before Excel Ate Paris—created the "greed is good" 1980s, by enabling the planning of unprecedented financial shenanigans.
Some say AI was responsible in a similar way for what happened in the 'thirties. The 2030s, that is, though the resemblance to the 1930s is uncanny.
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It's said that the spreadsheet—VisiCalc; this was before Excel Ate Paris—created the "greed is good" 1980s, by enabling the planning of unprecedented financial shenanigans.
Some say AI was responsible in a similar way for what happened in the 'thirties. The 2030s, that is, though the resemblance to the 1930s is uncanny.
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The only thing we know about the shadowy consortium that killed the inventor of the hoverboard and ruthlessly suppressed any news of the invention is their (believed) codename: 608ZZ
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The only thing we know about the shadowy consortium that killed the inventor of the hoverboard and ruthlessly suppressed any news of the invention is their (believed) codename: 608ZZ
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The modulated gravity waves recently detected by LIGO have been postulated to encode a message. Theories abound as to what the message may contain. What’s your prediction? #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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The modulated gravity waves recently detected by LIGO have been postulated to encode a message. Theories abound as to what the message may contain. What’s your prediction? #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
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I found the bug. The utter *womble* who wrote this code¹ used a floating-point value to represent dimensional alignment instead of bignum. If you shift three universes *thataway*, do some stuff, and then shift back, you might only transition 2.9999999042012 universes *thisaway*. I think I’ve got a fix coded, it’s taking a while because typing with seven fingers on one hand and three on the other is fucking weird af.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
¹ i.e. me, last week.
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I found the bug. The utter *womble* who wrote this code¹ used a floating-point value to represent dimensional alignment instead of bignum. If you shift three universes *thataway*, do some stuff, and then shift back, you might only transition 2.9999999042012 universes *thisaway*. I think I’ve got a fix coded, it’s taking a while because typing with seven fingers on one hand and three on the other is fucking weird af.
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition
¹ i.e. me, last week.
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One asteroid prospector in a singleship makes for a hard living. Bring a couple of border collies flying gravity skimmers and suddenly it’s fun for the whole family. The hard part is getting them to stop. One of mine got into the Jupiter trojans and lined the fuckers up by size. Clever bitch.
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One asteroid prospector in a singleship makes for a hard living. Bring a couple of border collies flying gravity skimmers and suddenly it’s fun for the whole family. The hard part is getting them to stop. One of mine got into the Jupiter trojans and lined the fuckers up by size. Clever bitch.
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“Hey, void, is there somewhere you go if you need to scream?”
「The Grand Canyon is nice」
“No problems at the border?”
「I don’t go that way」
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“Hey, void, is there somewhere you go if you need to scream?”
「The Grand Canyon is nice」
“No problems at the border?”
「I don’t go that way」
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“Pass the bread please”
”Sure. How was your day?”.
“Thanks. Awful. I got a word wrong on a page i was copying and had to redo the whole page”
“Why not just keep going?”
“Don’t you remember what brother Damian said last week. It is our duty to copy the sacred scripture exactly”.
“Uh, I think I was sick that day. I’ve been improving the pages I do. Is that wrong?”
“It’s blasphemy. You could go to hell and be cast into the lake of farts”
“It’s fire now. I reckoned it’s funnier if they got lit.”
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“Pass the bread please”
”Sure. How was your day?”.
“Thanks. Awful. I got a word wrong on a page i was copying and had to redo the whole page”
“Why not just keep going?”
“Don’t you remember what brother Damian said last week. It is our duty to copy the sacred scripture exactly”.
“Uh, I think I was sick that day. I’ve been improving the pages I do. Is that wrong?”
“It’s blasphemy. You could go to hell and be cast into the lake of farts”
“It’s fire now. I reckoned it’s funnier if they got lit.”
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When we finally decoded the alien signal it merely said "you have a first contact notification in your MyGalaxy Inbox".
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When we finally decoded the alien signal it merely said "you have a first contact notification in your MyGalaxy Inbox".
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Levels of neural protein in wastewater show that the cyber-plague is spreading far wider than the CDC admit.
Upgrade vans have been recorded leaving the former Tesla gigafactory and driving through front-lines into human-controlled territory.
Do not let your children or pets be outside after dark, and be alert for signs of cyber conversion of neighbours and family.
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Levels of neural protein in wastewater show that the cyber-plague is spreading far wider than the CDC admit.
Upgrade vans have been recorded leaving the former Tesla gigafactory and driving through front-lines into human-controlled territory.
Do not let your children or pets be outside after dark, and be alert for signs of cyber conversion of neighbours and family.
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PalPortal is a new fediverse app that allows people you follow to open a ninety second micro-wormhole suitable for conveyance of hugs, headpats and plates of brownies. Mutuals are able to use PalPortal to arrange sleepovers; the Groups feature also enables catgirl slumber parties.
You can log into a PalPortal server with your Mastodon account, provided you acquire a Dynamon crystal to focus the beam. The PalPortal server software can run on a RaspberryPi 4 or later, equipped with the Neutronium Sphere HAT (or a USB Singularity).
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PalPortal is a new fediverse app that allows people you follow to open a ninety second micro-wormhole suitable for conveyance of hugs, headpats and plates of brownies. Mutuals are able to use PalPortal to arrange sleepovers; the Groups feature also enables catgirl slumber parties.
You can log into a PalPortal server with your Mastodon account, provided you acquire a Dynamon crystal to focus the beam. The PalPortal server software can run on a RaspberryPi 4 or later, equipped with the Neutronium Sphere HAT (or a USB Singularity).
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The Queen was dying. “It is time, “ she whispered to her grey-haired son, “at long last,for you to meet the Overqueen…”
“The what?”
“Me”. The voice came from everywhere and nowhere. A cold somehow reptilian psychic pressure seemed to emerge from the floor, climb his legs and spine, and wrap around his brain stem”
“I am the ancient and ageless, seer and knower. All the treasure and power of this land are but the coins of my hoard. My word is your command.”
“Whu-what?”
“Did you not wonder” the old Queen whispered with her dying breath, “why our arms carry Dragon Rampant?”
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The Queen was dying. “It is time, “ she whispered to her grey-haired son, “at long last,for you to meet the Overqueen…”
“The what?”
“Me”. The voice came from everywhere and nowhere. A cold somehow reptilian psychic pressure seemed to emerge from the floor, climb his legs and spine, and wrap around his brain stem”
“I am the ancient and ageless, seer and knower. All the treasure and power of this land are but the coins of my hoard. My word is your command.”
“Whu-what?”
“Did you not wonder” the old Queen whispered with her dying breath, “why our arms carry Dragon Rampant?”
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After the "AI will make programmers obsolete" bullshit flamed out, the next employment-relations grift was hiring coders from nearby "economically distressed universes"---the ones where they had a nuclear war or foolishly let their global warming blow past 1.5C.
Technically and socially, this was little different from more mundane remote-working. Heck, it's generally easier to collaborate with a co-worker in an alternate-hometown than one in another timezone.
We didn't find out that our noSQL database was getting corrupted by duplicate UUIDs (pro tip, they're Universal, but not pan-Universal) until it was too late.
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After the "AI will make programmers obsolete" bullshit flamed out, the next employment-relations grift was hiring coders from nearby "economically distressed universes"---the ones where they had a nuclear war or foolishly let their global warming blow past 1.5C.
Technically and socially, this was little different from more mundane remote-working. Heck, it's generally easier to collaborate with a co-worker in an alternate-hometown than one in another timezone.
We didn't find out that our noSQL database was getting corrupted by duplicate UUIDs (pro tip, they're Universal, but not pan-Universal) until it was too late.
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First time being roasted?
Uh, yes?
Well, I’ll go easy on you. Kidding, this is Hell we have a reputation to uphold. What are you down for?
I don’t know, I’m just an app developer. There’s been a mistake!
I don’t think so. And it’s Was. We don’t use the present tense here. Up you get.
Aaargh, it burns. Make it stop, please.
This is where it will all make sense. Ask again.
Please stop burning me!
Maybe later.
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First time being roasted?
Uh, yes?
Well, I’ll go easy on you. Kidding, this is Hell we have a reputation to uphold. What are you down for?
I don’t know, I’m just an app developer. There’s been a mistake!
I don’t think so. And it’s Was. We don’t use the present tense here. Up you get.
Aaargh, it burns. Make it stop, please.
This is where it will all make sense. Ask again.
Please stop burning me!
Maybe later.
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“You want a wakey powder?”
“A what?”
“One of these, I found boxloads of them in an abandoned bunker”
“Uh, that’s what was called an instant coffee sachet, you were supposed to soak them in hot water”
“Yuk, I’m tired, not dirty”
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“You want a wakey powder?”
“A what?”
“One of these, I found boxloads of them in an abandoned bunker”
“Uh, that’s what was called an instant coffee sachet, you were supposed to soak them in hot water”
“Yuk, I’m tired, not dirty”