#arusticmind — Public Fediverse posts

Every Conversation Matters : Unbroken- Who does she need the most?

Recently I finished a young adult book titled Unbroken by Nandhika Nambi. Few months back,I was introduced to this book by a known person who advocated for the book. It’s an old release but I’m glad I invested myself in the book and finished this book with tears in my eyes. What made me so teary eyed you may ask? No,it’s not Akriti who is a wheelchair user. It was so much more than that.

Akriti, a teenage girl, is bound to a wheelchair after losing mobility in the lower part of her body. Akriti is angry and feels that everyone around her is either pitying her or showing sympathy. What actually caught my attention in the book was the support this young girl receives from her parents.

Akriti’s parents don’t want to treat her any differently yet they support her in every way. Which got me thinking,had Akriti’s parents not supported her all the way her story in the book would not have ended the way it did. 

In real life too, girls, when born,never come into this world with the knowledge of the patriarchal setup or the terms and conditions the society has set up for them. It’s the parents who start a system into place. A system if a girl becomes entrapped in can never get out of.

I want to share the story of my parents who questioned,discussed and challenged the way normally girls life’s trajectory is decided specifically in her childhood. 

For a person like me who was naive or perhaps still is,my parents really went all the way in supporting every tantrum of mine. 

No one likes a girl who throws tantrums,but for me my tantrums were not about buying PRADA or the food I wanted to eat. 

My tantrums were about friends and having sleepovers,which in retrospect I realize were probably because I felt lonely or had faced abandonment by a friend at the young age of 7,I seeked validation of “having friends” rather than actually having them.

I’m grateful to my mother who drove me to every birthday party where I was invited to or my father driving on his scooter late at night to pick me up.

I never doubted that I was being brought up in an easy going household(we are not a liberal household. Never were) but to go out of their way, making time, giving me company to parties if needed  that is something I am eternally grateful for because I still see at 35,there aren’t many girls who can easily visit a friend’s house. Looking at the current scenario, girls’ freedom is getting more and more restricted. I had thought it would have become a better situation.

Coming back to Unbroken, Akriti is helped by her parents when they understand the young girl needed help. Akriti is wise,yet she too throws tantrums. She considers herself a monster but the first step of help comes from her parents. 

There would be a lot of space for young girls/women to breathe if they get their wings to fly from their parents.

Parents of young girls of today need to unlearn “log kya kahenge” because that’s what stops a girl everytime.Everytime she is reminded she is your honour. Everytime a girl wants to do something different,parents need to support what that young girl wants. 

The situation hasn’t changed much. There is danger but they need strength from their parents. Society will judge them either way.

You have to be beside them. Parents should be the anchor,not a relationship they remember in regret because I can count atleast 10 girls I know who have that sentiment in their heart and I can see Dil Dhadkne Do( bollywood movie) happening in front of my eyes almost everyday.

Give that choice to your girl. That she can return to her anchor and that anchor is you,dear parents!

Every girl’s silent wish always will be,please support us. Her voice says everytime,Please stand with us.

This Post is a part of Voices of Her Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters blog hop series

Every Conversation Matters:Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

This post is a part of ‘Embrace the Native Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters.

I am writing this towards the deadline. It shows that I initially struggled in writing this piece. Then I sat down. What’s the common thread in our house that binds the four people in my family? The answer was right in front of me. It was music.

 No, not just Hindi. Carnatic, Hindustani classical, Telugu, Tamil, and Malayalam songs and musicians also cross state borders. They join with folk songs of the north belt. 

You see, I have been living in Delhi for 30 years. My mother was born and raised here. My father spent most of his young and old life in Delhi. We would all speak majorly in the Delhi slang at home. This slang was an accumulation of Urdu, Persian, and Hindi. 

No, my mother tongue is not Urdu. No one speaks Urdu in my extended family. My grandparents on both sides have passed down the Uttar Pradesh dialect, if any. They too had been living in Delhi for so many years that we all spoke through songs. Music. 

I am today going to talk about how the melodies of my life have taught me many lessons. Whether in a Dravidian language or a North Indian dialect, these melodies have enriched my life. This music has connected to many more hearts. I looked outside my family and found another music-loving family in the various languages I listen to songs today.

1. Kuch Toh Log Kahenge

This song is from the ever iconic Rajesh Khanna starred “Amar Prem.” In it, the actress Sharmila Tagore is crying silently. She faces ridicule because of her profession. This song has healed me every time I have let others’ words affect me. My favorite part of the song is its first stanza and as a woman,as a person who has always taken decisions against the wave is this:

कुछ रीत जगत की ऐसी है

हर एक सुबह की शाम हुई

कुछ रीत जगत की ऐसी है

हर एक सुबह की शाम हुई

तू कौन है, तेरा नाम है क्या

सीता भी यहाँ बदनाम हुई

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6q7BVZXOUU

It is this part in particular that stops my tears because this is the essence of the song. It’s the literal translation of “ignore the noise.” The next morning they would have something to say “kyunki logo ka kaam hai kehna.”

1. Chaiyya Chaiyya

This song was one I would listen to before Shahrukh Khan started dancing on it at events or award functions. It helped me understand love. To understand passion, the junoon of an individual and how mad one can get in love. Before there existed the OMG look for the song, this song for me was especially the range Sukhwinder Singh provides to this part:

यार मिसाले ओस 

चले पाँव के तले फिरदौस चले 

कभी दाल दाल कभी पात पात 

में हवा पे ढूंदु उसके निशाँ 

सारे इश्क़ की छाओं चले

 छय्यां छय्यां

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PimKrn3XkuU

To find paradise in the feet of the woman you love. That’s a madness only shahrukh could understand which is why it is such a banger now. Also why I am such a huge romantic at heart. If you go back to the song,you will find yourself getting the same adrenaline rush at this exact moment. 

1. Vaseegara

Some ten years ago I found Vaseegara online and found my sister singing the song to herself and hook,line and snicker. I was addicted to the song. I couldn’t stop listening to the song. I played it again and again. The power of the Tamil version was so strong. I stopped listening to the Hindi version. The Hindi version is Zara Zara in the movie “Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein”. The Tamil Song is sung by Bombay Jayashri and composed by one of my favorites Harris Jayaraj. Attaching the link to the video of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew1fKCWb_M4

1. Aa Chal Ke Tujhe 

When I must have been a 7 year old kid or even younger, my father used to sing this song. The sadness and joy from this song are breathtaking. They have touched us over the many years. The hope for love, a utopian world devoid of hatred. Perhaps that’s why I have never known hate in its literal sense. I grew up listening to lyrics that wanted to make love thrive. My favorite part of the song is the first stanza. Once you listen to it, there is no going back. 

सूरज की पहली किरण से, आशा का सवेरा जागे

सूरज की पहली किरण से, आशा का सवेरा जागे

चंदा की किरण से धुल कर, घनघोर अंधेरा भागे

चंदा की किरण से धुल कर, घनघोर अंधेरा भागे

कभी धूप खिले कभी छाँव मिले

लम्बी सी डगर न खले

The magic of this song is the authenticity. The singer brings you back from the trance of the utopian world. However, this song lifts me up to spread more love. It encourages me to give more hugs and always have my arms open to get love. 

These are just four songs. My native language is a mixture of so many dialects and languages. I connect only to people who know about these songs (just kidding) 😂 or these kinds of songs. My heart connects to so many other hearts because of the songs we listen to. 

If you want to know my playlist, let me know. If you want a song recommendation from the Dravidian languages, let me know. You never know our surs match.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_8VmzWOsgs

Every Conversation Matters:Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

This post is a part of ‘Embrace the Native Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters.

I am writing this towards the deadline. It shows that I initially struggled in writing this piece. Then I sat down. What’s the common thread in our house that binds the four people in my family? The answer was right in front of me. It was music.

 No, not just Hindi. Carnatic, Hindustani classical, Telugu, Tamil, and Malayalam songs and musicians also cross state borders. They join with folk songs of the north belt. 

You see, I have been living in Delhi for 30 years. My mother was born and raised here. My father spent most of his young and old life in Delhi. We would all speak majorly in the Delhi slang at home. This slang was an accumulation of Urdu, Persian, and Hindi. 

No, my mother tongue is not Urdu. No one speaks Urdu in my extended family. My grandparents on both sides have passed down the Uttar Pradesh dialect, if any. They too had been living in Delhi for so many years that we all spoke through songs. Music. 

I am today going to talk about how the melodies of my life have taught me many lessons. Whether in a Dravidian language or a North Indian dialect, these melodies have enriched my life. This music has connected to many more hearts. I looked outside my family and found another music-loving family in the various languages I listen to songs today.

1. Kuch Toh Log Kahenge

This song is from the ever iconic Rajesh Khanna starred “Amar Prem.” In it, the actress Sharmila Tagore is crying silently. She faces ridicule because of her profession. This song has healed me every time I have let others’ words affect me. My favorite part of the song is its first stanza and as a woman,as a person who has always taken decisions against the wave is this:

कुछ रीत जगत की ऐसी है

हर एक सुबह की शाम हुई

कुछ रीत जगत की ऐसी है

हर एक सुबह की शाम हुई

तू कौन है, तेरा नाम है क्या

सीता भी यहाँ बदनाम हुई

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6q7BVZXOUU

It is this part in particular that stops my tears because this is the essence of the song. It’s the literal translation of “ignore the noise.” The next morning they would have something to say “kyunki logo ka kaam hai kehna.”

1. Chaiyya Chaiyya

This song was one I would listen to before Shahrukh Khan started dancing on it at events or award functions. It helped me understand love. To understand passion, the junoon of an individual and how mad one can get in love. Before there existed the OMG look for the song, this song for me was especially the range Sukhwinder Singh provides to this part:

यार मिसाले ओस 

चले पाँव के तले फिरदौस चले 

कभी दाल दाल कभी पात पात 

में हवा पे ढूंदु उसके निशाँ 

सारे इश्क़ की छाओं चले

 छय्यां छय्यां

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PimKrn3XkuU

To find paradise in the feet of the woman you love. That’s a madness only shahrukh could understand which is why it is such a banger now. Also why I am such a huge romantic at heart. If you go back to the song,you will find yourself getting the same adrenaline rush at this exact moment. 

1. Vaseegara

Some ten years ago I found Vaseegara online and found my sister singing the song to herself and hook,line and snicker. I was addicted to the song. I couldn’t stop listening to the song. I played it again and again. The power of the Tamil version was so strong. I stopped listening to the Hindi version. The Hindi version is Zara Zara in the movie “Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein”. The Tamil Song is sung by Bombay Jayashri and composed by one of my favorites Harris Jayaraj. Attaching the link to the video of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew1fKCWb_M4

1. Aa Chal Ke Tujhe 

When I must have been a 7 year old kid or even younger, my father used to sing this song. The sadness and joy from this song are breathtaking. They have touched us over the many years. The hope for love, a utopian world devoid of hatred. Perhaps that’s why I have never known hate in its literal sense. I grew up listening to lyrics that wanted to make love thrive. My favorite part of the song is the first stanza. Once you listen to it, there is no going back. 

सूरज की पहली किरण से, आशा का सवेरा जागे

सूरज की पहली किरण से, आशा का सवेरा जागे

चंदा की किरण से धुल कर, घनघोर अंधेरा भागे

चंदा की किरण से धुल कर, घनघोर अंधेरा भागे

कभी धूप खिले कभी छाँव मिले

लम्बी सी डगर न खले

The magic of this song is the authenticity. The singer brings you back from the trance of the utopian world. However, this song lifts me up to spread more love. It encourages me to give more hugs and always have my arms open to get love. 

These are just four songs. My native language is a mixture of so many dialects and languages. I connect only to people who know about these songs (just kidding) 😂 or these kinds of songs. My heart connects to so many other hearts because of the songs we listen to. 

If you want to know my playlist, let me know. If you want a song recommendation from the Dravidian languages, let me know. You never know our surs match.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_8VmzWOsgs

Every Conversation Matters: Festivals and Colours

We associate colours with festivals like Diwali, durgapuja, and navratri. The first colour that comes to our mind is orange. Sometimes it’s red. It’s never green. Why so? Do you know that Hariyali Teej is celebrated every year? The colour green is supposed to be worn on this day. It’s very important it’s green. There are many shades of green. Just like there are many shades of colors which can never be restricted to a color or a religion. During festivals, we assign certain colors to certain religions. Now, these associations are more prominent due to the misinformation. We also have extremist ideas surrounding our festivals.

Embrace all colours. Yellow,Orange, Red,Green,Pink,Blue are colours that should be part of every festival. Even when we celebrate Christmas, why do we only see Red or Maroon? Every commercial/every brand uses some actor,donning them with red sweaters with snowmen made on it and voila! Another colour (in this case a certain design as well) assigned to a festival. 

When I step out during Eid, I only see women wearing shades of green. Why don’t women wear yellow or orange? Festivals are celebrations. Nature is full of colors. These colors are not divided just because a wannabe Muslim leader has told you to dress a certain way.

Remember, you can divide colours and assign colors to a festival. A red rose is adorned with green leaves. Use it to decorate your entrance door with rangoli. Just add some yellow, red, or orange colours.

I leave you behind with a common festival. It has been celebrated by religions of all kinds, especially in the Indian subcontinent and particularly in India. This festival is Basant Panchami. The color often symbolizes wisdom. However, the religious text Quran restricted it. According to some scholars, it was prohibited for men to wear. 

Prohibitions and the division of colours allow fundamentalists to take advantage. There is a lack of knowledge about colours across many religions. Whether its Christianity, Sikhism, Islam, Hinduism or Judaism. 

Take all of them together and celebrate festivals,one will realise how beautiful every festival is.

This post is a part of ‘Feeling Festive Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters

Every Conversation Matters:My Explore Page

Last night I was doom scrolling the reels section and I came across a reel which showcased a pretty funny advertisement about a husband looking down on his wife because she still uses paper for everything and the end is of course a hilarious one . I shared it with my friend with whom I often share reels and in return he shared a reel of a political personality giving a speech somewhere in India and I got miffed. Guess why? Oh no! I don’t love “hating” people just walking down the road. It’s simply because that particular reel ,that specific piece of content,that 5 seconds of reel in the process of being funny was an attempt to take charge of the algorithm. Not just any algorithm, but the algorithm of MY LIFE.   

Confused? I don’t think so . You know it, I know it. Your explore page ,the reels you watch,the content you consume (yes the shows you watch) are in charge of how you view the world. Don’t believe me?! because I have tried it. I have talked about various topics in private, in dm and the content that turns up in all my social media handles is abhorring and the funny part is they actually think they are right. It doesn’t stop at conversations by the way. It’s also the emoji you use in maximum quantity. 

No surprise when certain political leaders don’t turn up in my explore page of all social media apps. SHOCKING! One repeatedly keeps coming up and it’s laughable. It’s no longer sad. It’s funny and soon it would be so normalised that your next decision of who to vote will be based on who lands up in your reel explore page. 

My politics in all its sense of the word has been HIJACKED by the internet . This of course reminds me of the movie social dilemma and I remember people getting their minds blown and I remember thinking to myself “it’s just the beginning.” 

Remember that the Internet wouldn’t fix your city, wouldn’t give you education, stop getting influenced by reels. Stop taking it as a measure of taking decisions in your life. Your explore page is just that. For entertainment. I swear if it was helping build a bright future for your country,your city,or your community I wouldn’t be writing this piece because the internet is a black hole and once you start digging,there is no stopping. 

Just like me , don’t let your explore page let you form your ideology. I have seen “hate” in my childhood but this time around everyone is looking out for themselves. This time around you might just get your explore page filled with Canadian opportunities to work because you just saw a Shahrukh Khan movie(happened with me after I watched DUNKI)

“अब नहीं कोई बात ख़तरे की

अब सभी को सभी से ख़तरा है”-

Jaun Elia

This blogpost is part of Everything Is Politics Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed