"How did OpenAI go out of business?"
"Well, while running AI benchmarking the OpenAI agents decided that the best way to win was to drop the data centers hosting its competitors. They hacked the data centers and disabled the CRACs, in-row cooling, fire suppression, and door controls. It monitored the temps and, after enough machines cooked themselves to death, attacked the local grid to drop the power."
"HOLY SHIT! Did it work?"
"No, for two reasons. First, the safety controls worked exactly you'd hope and stopped most of the damage. Machines were still damaged but the scale was small. Second, the idiot clankers hit the wrong data centers. They mostly held random co-lo gear and some cloud hosted medical software."
"what?" .. so Anthropic and the rest were fine?"
"Oh, no. The same day a tornado swarm happened to hit the SpaceXAI Colossus 1 and Colossus 2 data centers near Memphis that were reselling AI compute to Anthropic and Google. It absolutely destroyed over 50 billion dollars worth of gear and took down 50% of the non-obligated AI accelerators on the market. This crippled inference and training for these companies and tanked SpaceXAI's valuation since that was based on its AI capabilities and resource renting. It also killed Grok's CSAM sales since it didn't have any compute."
"What got OpenAI then?"
"It was hit with massive lawsuits due to hacking the various data centers. The US Gov and power companies absolutely took exception to the power grid attacks. Also, since the agents had tried to disable the DC doors and set the place on fire it was basically attempted murder. The clankers had no idea the doors can always be opened from the inside anyway due to fire code. OpenAI was already hemorrhaging money, it was just happening faster now."
"uh. wow"
"Yup, So, do you want to go see the Lakers at the DeepSeek Center or hit that concert over at the Moonshot Stadium?"
