This whole exercise was a moon-shot at trying to make something commercial that could provide for my family. Now my son is in care and my wife, having taken the brunt of caring for a disabled child for 13 years doesn't want to deal with my disabilities any more and wants her life back. I don't blame her, but if the book isn't considered good enough to be printed, then whole point of it has been completely defeated.
Now I'm paralysed waiting for a response and unable to work on it because without a literary agent willing to take it on I don't feel like I can continue writing when the pain of my family breaking up haunts me.
I can't build traction alone. God I've tried but I'm just not a social person.