#rart — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #rart, aggregated by home.social.
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Newest finished work
ETA: What will I name it? I'm open to suggestions.
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It's common to hear Trump supporters called a cult. But "American exceptionalism" has always been a cult. If we are gonna use the C word then it applies to any group that ranks insiders over outsiders, that demands loyalty in place of independent thought, that enforces lies as truth. Attitudes towards nation, race, religion and economic systems are often cult like.
Sigh. That's all. I'll throw in some color.
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I hope to add more work soon to my online moving sale gallery. I've been experiencing nausea from various medication combinations as I try to function despite nonstop pain. So I've been sidelined for a couple of days.
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Many of my paintings I like in horizontal or vertical orientations. But not all. I turned one, but not the other. Vertically Vitality would have taken up the whole screen so I put the description to the side. Layouts used to take me a long time & I'd belabor decisions. Not this time. Bing bang boom, it's fine, I like it, keep moving. This was almost the time I learned command line & static site *but* my Mac is too outdated to download the recommended software. Someday, Linux, someday...
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I think about why I share
The response I get is positive, even called sometimes brave,
Yet I can feel selfish, attention seeking
I share
I think
I'm on a journey. I asked a poll here a while ago to see if others feel like they are progressing on a journey. Most did not. One person mocked that folks might think that. I think that. Maybe that's self important. I share
I think
I'm on a journey.
I share in case anyone else is
Ahead of or behind me on a similar journey. -
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#ScribesAndMakers 20 March: Do you like graffiti? Do you have an example? Yes.
I love the word.
See @RadicalGraffiti
In summer 1989 in alpine Zermatt, Switzerland, I was surprised to see "Fuck The World" on a side street. The message seemed incongruous to that place & time. I appreciated that it was on a temporary wooden fence enclosing construction. That trip I also learned to love layers of colorful notices pasted all over walls.
Graffiti aesthetic appears in my #Rart paintings.
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One minute time lapse video of me painting set to music
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#ScribesAndMakers February 21: Do friends/family give you gifts for your activities, or do you buy all your own supplies?
Friends who are moving have given me assorted supplies. I've known artists who give up their practice & have given me canvases & other materials. It's sad but they've convinced me that they feel better for the art to live on (see image) than going to waste. I encourage people to give me old paint, ensuring it doesn't go to landfills & it gives me unplanned colors.
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I choose art as my preferred method of relating to others. I put my life into my work. I choose solitude, painting, reading, writing, & videos. Through those media I experience rewarding conversations about the state of being human.
I know a few people who I can talk to in person about ideas & it's hard to get enough time together. I've endured too many people talking about purchases, expensive travel, & renovating their 2nd homes. Oh, & casual bigotry. I hate being from White America.
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I share my situation (debt, no income, no healthcare) to call attention to societal problems. The people I know IRL whom I'm addressing when I put content on Insta are making it in the system. I don't know if they think that I'm mentally disordered & need to change to suit the world or if they see the points that I make, or somewhere in between. I also share on twitch & YouTube. I'm declaring that my values make me unfit for society & my values are good. I get little feedback but positive.
#Rart -
I like to send #Rart cards in the mail. If you want one please let me know. They can be sent to someone else with your custom message, like flowers.
It's difficult for me to make promises beyond the current moment due to my stubborn, often debilitating pain. I am on a bit of a steady upswing at the moment, so I'll make the following aspirational pledge:
I would like to send a card like this in exchange for any donation received this week. See https://dotart.blog/rmiddleton/paintings#pm for many methods I accept.
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Quiero vivir en México.
I want to live in Mexico. I want my primary mode of transportation to be walking. I want to buy fresh food in markets from people I look in the eyes and smile at. I want to be part of a community that wrestles with the implications of its colonial past and takes pride in its pre-Columbian history. I want to live in a land that is progressing not regressing.
If you know of any opportunities for visiting artists in #Mexico please let me know.
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Sometimes it's hard to keep track of which terrible things are happening in the UK & which in the US. For safety's sake I only dream of moving to a non English speaking country (New Zealand is too far away). I'm an intermediate speaker of French and Spanish. I'm an artist who would love to give classes on the process of abstract expression for psychological health.
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/2 Online is different. Everything put online sits there & at any moment someone might offer an unwanted take. It’s asymmetrical because people are sharing art, their life's work, deep feelings from lived experiences. Others show up & say, "Nah! Here's why you're wrong..." I feel like replying should require investment too. I have this experience IRL & online, in all aspects of my life. It's not that I think my ideas are superior, they're careful. I'm deeply suspicious of rapid responses.
#Rart -
I dislike "everything happens for a reason" fatalism but I do think every experience is an opportunity for learning. If not for alienation & financial insecurity I wouldn't know what I do now. The past month+ has been extremely painful & isolated. And relief isn't going to come swiftly & permanently. Yet I can see the experience as giving me new perspective on relationships, family, & the lives of others. It's complicated.
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Painting B · acrylic with mixed media on pre-primed white canvas stretched to 66 x 66 inches, or 168 cm x 168 cm
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Words can be painful to construct, more so than images. There was a time when I stressed over image composition, back when I believed there could be a correct way to create art that would elicit recognition. I learned by doing. I've made laborious work and simple work. My paintings have touched people emotionally and sold by the hundreds. At no point have I come close to making a living. I call this painting I barely remember making "The Solution to Everything." (More in description.)
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Friendship, I'm bad at it.
I'm bad online, and in text. I think I'm good in person but... actually I'm good at socializing. Acting. Charming. I'm not very sure about my feelings.I'm broadcasting my unhappiness here & on Insta. Meanwhile I'm not reaching out to family. I'm not returning DMs. Why? I'm scared to.
Self #alienation is a topic that interests me. I figure it comes from rejection by my nuclear family & pressure I've put on significant others who leave to save themselves.
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CW: mh-
I think about anhedonia — the inability to feel pleasure, diminished interest in engaging in previously pleasurable activities. I don't want to pass time, even when I'm bedridden. I'm not content to be entertained. I want to be inspired. I want to believe in a movement that's working hard to improve the world. I want to play whatever part I can. There is no such movement, that I can see. Instead I feel besieged by hostile forces at every turn. I see nice people, all suffering like me.
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CW: Despair
Argh. As I contemplate deleting instagram I am scrolling through old posts. So many. So many pretty pictures. So many different ways I showed my art. I thought about copying many of them over to here. But I don't know. It's depressing to see my past. The years have greatly aged & soured me. Because of how bad I feel now & how much I hate Meta, these photos evoke sadness. My #Rart makes me sad because I am unable to make a living & I am suffering so I see sharing my creations as a failure.
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How to increase trust when no one is pure?
It's why I say unconditional love of all is required. And what does that look like in practice? I don't know. I've never seen it.
I'm not even capable of baseline functioning due to my suffering. I am in need. I would like to give but I need help. The compromises required just to subsist prevent progress. Those who rise to positions of comfort, power, influence are emotionally & mentally compromised, invested in the oppressive system.
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My unwritten memoir is titled,
How to be: A self-help memoir, with
Part 1: How to be depressed & Part 2: How to be happy.
1. There are many ways to be depressed, here's what works for me
{I describe my life. Despite the title I intend to mix levity with the wounding difficulties.}
Part 2 would be the self helpy part in which i attempt to document my life philosophy. I see human attention as the limiting force in life. All flows from that. -
prior post = my problem with success, my doubt of art that succeeds, my distrust of communication
2 things center me, keep me afloat:
1, going on vibes; plenty of work gives good feeling that transcends the delivery method (when the message surpasses the medium)
2, my foundational value to love all, even what I dislike or don't understand; it's a compossibility, my vision of what it takes to save the world, loving every person unconditionally, somehowMore at https://www.RMiddleton.art
#Rart -
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There is no understanding
nothing to be understood
only experienced