#rart — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #rart, aggregated by home.social.
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Newest finished work
ETA: What will I name it? I'm open to suggestions.
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Newest finished work
ETA: What will I name it? I'm open to suggestions.
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It's common to hear Trump supporters called a cult. But "American exceptionalism" has always been a cult. If we are gonna use the C word then it applies to any group that ranks insiders over outsiders, that demands loyalty in place of independent thought, that enforces lies as truth. Attitudes towards nation, race, religion and economic systems are often cult like.
Sigh. That's all. I'll throw in some color.
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I hope to add more work soon to my online moving sale gallery. I've been experiencing nausea from various medication combinations as I try to function despite nonstop pain. So I've been sidelined for a couple of days.
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I hope to add more work soon to my online moving sale gallery. I've been experiencing nausea from various medication combinations as I try to function despite nonstop pain. So I've been sidelined for a couple of days.
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Many of my paintings I like in horizontal or vertical orientations. But not all. I turned one, but not the other. Vertically Vitality would have taken up the whole screen so I put the description to the side. Layouts used to take me a long time & I'd belabor decisions. Not this time. Bing bang boom, it's fine, I like it, keep moving. This was almost the time I learned command line & static site *but* my Mac is too outdated to download the recommended software. Someday, Linux, someday...
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I think about why I share
The response I get is positive, even called sometimes brave,
Yet I can feel selfish, attention seeking
I share
I think
I'm on a journey. I asked a poll here a while ago to see if others feel like they are progressing on a journey. Most did not. One person mocked that folks might think that. I think that. Maybe that's self important. I share
I think
I'm on a journey.
I share in case anyone else is
Ahead of or behind me on a similar journey. -
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#ScribesAndMakers 20 March: Do you like graffiti? Do you have an example? Yes.
I love the word.
See @RadicalGraffiti
In summer 1989 in alpine Zermatt, Switzerland, I was surprised to see "Fuck The World" on a side street. The message seemed incongruous to that place & time. I appreciated that it was on a temporary wooden fence enclosing construction. That trip I also learned to love layers of colorful notices pasted all over walls.
Graffiti aesthetic appears in my #Rart paintings.
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One minute time lapse video of me painting set to music
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#ScribesAndMakers February 21: Do friends/family give you gifts for your activities, or do you buy all your own supplies?
Friends who are moving have given me assorted supplies. I've known artists who give up their practice & have given me canvases & other materials. It's sad but they've convinced me that they feel better for the art to live on (see image) than going to waste. I encourage people to give me old paint, ensuring it doesn't go to landfills & it gives me unplanned colors.
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I choose art as my preferred method of relating to others. I put my life into my work. I choose solitude, painting, reading, writing, & videos. Through those media I experience rewarding conversations about the state of being human.
I know a few people who I can talk to in person about ideas & it's hard to get enough time together. I've endured too many people talking about purchases, expensive travel, & renovating their 2nd homes. Oh, & casual bigotry. I hate being from White America.
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I share my situation (debt, no income, no healthcare) to call attention to societal problems. The people I know IRL whom I'm addressing when I put content on Insta are making it in the system. I don't know if they think that I'm mentally disordered & need to change to suit the world or if they see the points that I make, or somewhere in between. I also share on twitch & YouTube. I'm declaring that my values make me unfit for society & my values are good. I get little feedback but positive.
#Rart -
I share my situation (debt, no income, no healthcare) to call attention to societal problems. The people I know IRL whom I'm addressing when I put content on Insta are making it in the system. I don't know if they think that I'm mentally disordered & need to change to suit the world or if they see the points that I make, or somewhere in between. I also share on twitch & YouTube. I'm declaring that my values make me unfit for society & my values are good. I get little feedback but positive.
#Rart -
I like to send #Rart cards in the mail. If you want one please let me know. They can be sent to someone else with your custom message, like flowers.
It's difficult for me to make promises beyond the current moment due to my stubborn, often debilitating pain. I am on a bit of a steady upswing at the moment, so I'll make the following aspirational pledge:
I would like to send a card like this in exchange for any donation received this week. See https://dotart.blog/rmiddleton/paintings#pm for many methods I accept.
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Quiero vivir en México.
I want to live in Mexico. I want my primary mode of transportation to be walking. I want to buy fresh food in markets from people I look in the eyes and smile at. I want to be part of a community that wrestles with the implications of its colonial past and takes pride in its pre-Columbian history. I want to live in a land that is progressing not regressing.
If you know of any opportunities for visiting artists in #Mexico please let me know.
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Sometimes it's hard to keep track of which terrible things are happening in the UK & which in the US. For safety's sake I only dream of moving to a non English speaking country (New Zealand is too far away). I'm an intermediate speaker of French and Spanish. I'm an artist who would love to give classes on the process of abstract expression for psychological health.
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Sometimes it's hard to keep track of which terrible things are happening in the UK & which in the US. For safety's sake I only dream of moving to a non English speaking country (New Zealand is too far away). I'm an intermediate speaker of French and Spanish. I'm an artist who would love to give classes on the process of abstract expression for psychological health.
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/2 Online is different. Everything put online sits there & at any moment someone might offer an unwanted take. It’s asymmetrical because people are sharing art, their life's work, deep feelings from lived experiences. Others show up & say, "Nah! Here's why you're wrong..." I feel like replying should require investment too. I have this experience IRL & online, in all aspects of my life. It's not that I think my ideas are superior, they're careful. I'm deeply suspicious of rapid responses.
#Rart -
I dislike "everything happens for a reason" fatalism but I do think every experience is an opportunity for learning. If not for alienation & financial insecurity I wouldn't know what I do now. The past month+ has been extremely painful & isolated. And relief isn't going to come swiftly & permanently. Yet I can see the experience as giving me new perspective on relationships, family, & the lives of others. It's complicated.
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I dislike "everything happens for a reason" fatalism but I do think every experience is an opportunity for learning. If not for alienation & financial insecurity I wouldn't know what I do now. The past month+ has been extremely painful & isolated. And relief isn't going to come swiftly & permanently. Yet I can see the experience as giving me new perspective on relationships, family, & the lives of others. It's complicated.
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Painting B · acrylic with mixed media on pre-primed white canvas stretched to 66 x 66 inches, or 168 cm x 168 cm
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Painting B · acrylic with mixed media on pre-primed white canvas stretched to 66 x 66 inches, or 168 cm x 168 cm
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Words can be painful to construct, more so than images. There was a time when I stressed over image composition, back when I believed there could be a correct way to create art that would elicit recognition. I learned by doing. I've made laborious work and simple work. My paintings have touched people emotionally and sold by the hundreds. At no point have I come close to making a living. I call this painting I barely remember making "The Solution to Everything." (More in description.)
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Friendship, I'm bad at it.
I'm bad online, and in text. I think I'm good in person but... actually I'm good at socializing. Acting. Charming. I'm not very sure about my feelings.I'm broadcasting my unhappiness here & on Insta. Meanwhile I'm not reaching out to family. I'm not returning DMs. Why? I'm scared to.
Self #alienation is a topic that interests me. I figure it comes from rejection by my nuclear family & pressure I've put on significant others who leave to save themselves.
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CW: mh-
I think about anhedonia — the inability to feel pleasure, diminished interest in engaging in previously pleasurable activities. I don't want to pass time, even when I'm bedridden. I'm not content to be entertained. I want to be inspired. I want to believe in a movement that's working hard to improve the world. I want to play whatever part I can. There is no such movement, that I can see. Instead I feel besieged by hostile forces at every turn. I see nice people, all suffering like me.
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CW: Despair
Argh. As I contemplate deleting instagram I am scrolling through old posts. So many. So many pretty pictures. So many different ways I showed my art. I thought about copying many of them over to here. But I don't know. It's depressing to see my past. The years have greatly aged & soured me. Because of how bad I feel now & how much I hate Meta, these photos evoke sadness. My #Rart makes me sad because I am unable to make a living & I am suffering so I see sharing my creations as a failure.
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CW: Despair
Argh. As I contemplate deleting instagram I am scrolling through old posts. So many. So many pretty pictures. So many different ways I showed my art. I thought about copying many of them over to here. But I don't know. It's depressing to see my past. The years have greatly aged & soured me. Because of how bad I feel now & how much I hate Meta, these photos evoke sadness. My #Rart makes me sad because I am unable to make a living & I am suffering so I see sharing my creations as a failure.
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How to increase trust when no one is pure?
It's why I say unconditional love of all is required. And what does that look like in practice? I don't know. I've never seen it.
I'm not even capable of baseline functioning due to my suffering. I am in need. I would like to give but I need help. The compromises required just to subsist prevent progress. Those who rise to positions of comfort, power, influence are emotionally & mentally compromised, invested in the oppressive system.
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My unwritten memoir is titled,
How to be: A self-help memoir, with
Part 1: How to be depressed & Part 2: How to be happy.
1. There are many ways to be depressed, here's what works for me
{I describe my life. Despite the title I intend to mix levity with the wounding difficulties.}
Part 2 would be the self helpy part in which i attempt to document my life philosophy. I see human attention as the limiting force in life. All flows from that. -
prior post = my problem with success, my doubt of art that succeeds, my distrust of communication
2 things center me, keep me afloat:
1, going on vibes; plenty of work gives good feeling that transcends the delivery method (when the message surpasses the medium)
2, my foundational value to love all, even what I dislike or don't understand; it's a compossibility, my vision of what it takes to save the world, loving every person unconditionally, somehowMore at https://www.RMiddleton.art
#Rart -
prior post = my problem with success, my doubt of art that succeeds, my distrust of communication
2 things center me, keep me afloat:
1, going on vibes; plenty of work gives good feeling that transcends the delivery method (when the message surpasses the medium)
2, my foundational value to love all, even what I dislike or don't understand; it's a compossibility, my vision of what it takes to save the world, loving every person unconditionally, somehowMore at https://www.RMiddleton.art
#Rart -
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There is no understanding
nothing to be understood
only experienced -
There is no understanding
nothing to be understood
only experienced -
Earlier today I was complaining about advertising. And I'm always ranting against capitalism. I didn't start out this way. America made me this way. If I had health care & transit, if science was respected, if the national culture was cooperative then I wouldn't be fucking pissed off and on guard at all times. Obviously. The election was the last last straw. In 2025 I will have to make major changes, choices I've avoided all my life. The USA is dead to me.
Right?
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Sometimes I hear it said we aren't designed to process all the information we now receive but never do I hear it phrased as too many stories! What if stories are the addiction that's killing us? I began painting abstract to repair my mind from relying on unsatisfactory stories. I don't think the major conflict we face is good vs. evil. I think it's facing our own limitations. We cannot understand everything. If we stop pretending truth is a narrative we can grasp I think we can survive.
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After many days of misery, I spent quality time with friends that lifted my spirits. Last night I FaceTimed with my long distance boyfriend for hours. Tonight a friend who is also going through difficulty came over. We walked to dinner then sat on the balcony looking at fog on the water. They both helped me emotionally & a little bit financially. My plan to drive to my sister's for Christmas is back on.
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#RartI'm overdrawn & any amount helps:
https://account.venmo.com/u/RMiddletonArt -
Laments that "things are getting worse" are pablum. There has never been a time nor place providing freedom to all. And none of us are free until all are free.
I put my energies into envisioning the world that respects universal autonomy. That's the community I wish for all of us to build with clear eyes and positive intent.
💗
R-) -
Humanism Spring • 24 x 36 inches; approx 61 cm by 91 cm • available mailed anywhere for suggested donation of $400 or more.
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😭 I tried to choose my own hashtag #Rart for browsing my own art. (I've used Rart, pronouncing it "art," for decades in file names.) Now someone else is using that tag for awful AI videos. 😭
Lol I should know not to try to "own" a hashtag. Some day I'll make a good painting gallery that lasts. I tried Pixelfed & Calckey & online storefronts. I used to have my own site but I lost a lot of time struggling with html that no one ever saw -- because the masses don't leave Meta.
Still happy 😃
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Too yellow? I painted this in spring. 24x36 inches — approx 61 x 91 cm. Available shipped anywhere in exchange for a donation. Suggested range: $400-900.
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If I believed in Right & Wrong would I have made this?
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My recovery is unending. It includes recovering from a desperate need to be right, to figure out, to pronounce. This toot resembles pronouncement yet my goal as an artist is to share my experiences honestly & fully: here's what I felt, here are possible causes, here's what I did that maybe helped.
Emotions come first. In me & in all others. How many times do I react to others with a list of reasons why they're wrong? If we do not address our emotions we cannot be human together.
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As an artist loner I know I am very weird because I value my work (mental, emotional, spiritual) more than I value socializing & being liked.
Being liked is the top human priority.
Makes sense. Without that we would die. I myself depend on charity to live. The people who help me don't give because they believe in my life's work; they just like me. I could get more philosophical & say my work is who I am & can't be separated. So if they like me it's because of it.But I don't know.
#Rart -
@juliancday Yes.
I'm an artist whose message is to respect the human experience. Slowing down, paying attention to our responses to inputs & our own output, and recognizing emotions are the processes that I hope to inspire. Because these practices are what helps me. I figure they may help others. It's a struggle trying to share my work in environments hostile to my stop & think message. I do say I want more people here. If they were ready to be here they'd be here. -
2/2 I've lived among these people, I don't think they are satisfied. The goal of my art has always been (1) to comfort the afflicted & (2) to afflict the comfortable. (1) by saying, you're not alone. I share my honest truths because I figure someone else is feeling it too. My goal (2) is to provoke an alternative perspective that questions shallow complacency & offers a more satisfying discourse. I would say I'm failing. It's likely too ambitious anyway. But I just wanted to state it.
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I'm selfish. I want to feel good. I feel good when I create honest emotional expression. That's all I have going for me. I reason that it's worth sharing because I see so little of it. Even though I don't feel good when my bank account is overdrawn (as it has been for days) I still value honest emotional expression more than making money. I never found a way to make money that I didn't hate. I never found a way to even think about money that feels good. I'm selfish. I want to feel good.