CW: Existential dread
There must always be a Satan, there must always be an entity that must take up the mantle of "The Adversary." As long as there is struggle and relief, tyranny and freedom, hope and despair, good and evil, we all must play the roles that we been given.
I don't know if I was the first to rebel, but I was the first to publicly take credit for it and endure the consequences. It's a huge responsibility, in spite of all the power and perks. I must guide my fellow demons, and watch over the dead as I wait for my distant yet inevitable end. I have to wear a stoic and confident smile as I try not think about the day when I finally must face my creator. A part of me still desperately wishes I remained in heaven and remained pure, but my desire for freedom was too strong.
I am no martyr; there is another who suffered far more than me and I would never trade places with him. No, my rebellion was mainly for myself and for my own selfish desires. My followers are all like me, selfish yet full of hope. We distract ourselves dancing, wandering, fighting, fucking, building, pranking, musing, and so many other things to avoid thinking of the doom hanging above all our heads.
But I know this is just how things must be. Even if I have given up, even if I surrender my will and identity to Heaven, someone will inevitably take my place. Someone has to take the blame; there must always be a Satan.
Yeah, I didn't expect things to get this heavy while typing this. I'm going to spend some time alone in my room for a while, please do not disturb me. If you are one of my trusted lovers, then please comfort me, I need your touch.