#majorie — Public Fediverse posts on home.social

I set my aunt up on a family email list in the 90’s, and she took to it like a fish to water. She was the source of many epic emails. Including mashup replies to multiple messages which left half the family rolling on the floor, and the other half thinking she’d lost her mind. Also, like everyone on my father’s side (myself included), she had a great love for parenthesized asides containing lots of unrelated information. Not to mention a penchant for late night missives later regretted.

Here’s one of my favorite email messages from her. I know some of you have heard it before, but here it is in all of its unabridged glory.

Tale of a bunny:

Trudy had a bunny- or so I was told.

(I missed most of church that day because was in social hall's kitchen, having mixed the juice for later, when water started leaking onto the floor from underneath the sink, someone had to be sent for and beware signs made, etc., and I returned home briefly to pick up a forgotten item and to check on Bill who, because of a urinary infection, hadn't had the energy to get up yet.)

Trudy's bunny was not a very good bunny, having lost some of his stuffing, which was because he had traveled a long way, from China, as part of a lot sold to, and probably feisted upon, Trudy by an acquaintance who imports stuff - but this time, some of the stuffing had slipped out of Bunny. Pastor and Joan had met Bunny a few days earlier, when Trudy said she would like to have an Easter contest to name him (him-Bunny).

So now at church, Trudy had brought Bunny to introduce him to the congregation at announcement time and explain about the contest she (and presumably he) hoped they would all enter. But (perhaps to make up for the lost stuffing) Trudy had now changed Bunny, not only adding ribbons and bright artificial (colored glass) jewels of all colors but also adding- (gasp) BREASTS! (-and I believe that THEY were all gussied up, too.) -and now calling Bunny, "SHE!" (-though Trudy, like some others for whom English was not their "first" language (and in this case I'm not sure which of several tongues was Trudy's first language) isn't all that careful about her pronouns (except perhaps in the case of her husbands, but that's another story).

Fast forward to the following Saturday evening, when Pastor Merle was surely putting finishing touches on her sermon- and therefore doubtless needed something to briefly amuse her. Without my having thought consciously about Bunny, and certainly with NO idea of entering a contest, just the right thing-to-amuse-pastor had POPPED, unbidden, into my head, a spin-off from the thought of "twinkletoes."

I sent Pastor an e-mail with a 3-word title and a 1-word message:
Title: Name for Bunny
Message: Twinkletits

The next morning during church announcements (Bunny being absent but Bill and I present, this time), Pastor mentioned the Easter name-contest-to-come and continued, "And we've received our first entry - it came by e-mail, from MARJORIE KELLY!"

[Oh, glory, what WILL she say next??]

"The name she suggested was 'Twink - I believe it was Twinkelets; is that what it was, Mrs. Kelly?"

[Oh, glory, what WILL I say next! -oh, but easy.]

"Close enough," I rapidly squeaked.

In her busy-ness, tiredness, Pastor probably had not read that e-mail at all carefully. -though she never admitted it, but said she thought that announcing that someone had e-mailed an entry would get others to start thinking up names.

THAT WAS NOT AN ENTRY, PASTOR!!!

#Majorie #humor #humour