#highexplosives — Public Fediverse posts

@dandrumheller

… turkey sandwiches for lunch)
We blew the damn thing up
And I bought her a Corolla.
And see if I don't!

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

6/6

@dandrumheller

… duel!
It ranged all over.
Neither one was a master.
But our battle was legendary!
Many knuckles were bloodied
Many 10mm sockets were lost
In the endless fight
That really only lasted a few hours
But it seemed endless.
Finally, I could take no more.
I called my most loyal companion
I don't know where he got the C-4
He's not really right in the head
But with care, and fear, and trepidation, and tryptophan
(Because we had …

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

5/6

@dandrumheller

… mechanical beasts of air and sea
From those distant and mysterious
Inventors in far away lands
Hitachi, and Denso.
With haste they responded to my desperate call!
With haste, and with free shipping!
And they sent me the supplies
And equipment
And a rather silly amount of packing material
Like, couldn't you just use a smaller box folks?
But with the necessary provisions
I set out on my quest.
There was, a mighty, …

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

4/6

@dandrumheller

… replacement.
But do you have that kind of equipment on hand?
For a 2011 Honda Fit?
Noooooo, I don't think you do either.
Why would you?
You don't even have a 2011 Honda Fit.
Pfft.
Ridiculous.
Anyway.
So I set out on a mighty quest.
I reached out through that greatest of human inventions,
The internet.
And set in motions of vast swaths of humanity
Across the world.
The machinery of change was involved
With giant …

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

3/6

@dandrumheller

… sole, and sinews of humanity.
So up from my bed
Did I leap
At the sound of my daughter's
mournful cry:
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
My 2011 Honda Fit's acting funny."
Thus did I dive into that nest of snakes
And gears
And slime
And petroleum products
(which were probably the slime)
To find and defeat the source of this evil curse.
And, I mean, it really looked like
it needed a valve adjustment.
Maybe a plug and coil …

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

2/6

@dandrumheller

But lo! What smoke
From yonder crater rises?
Well, y'see,
I had plans for Saturday
Y'know?
Well, not really plans per se
I was just going to sort of
Hang out
And stuff.
Maybe go see a movie.
But have you looked at ticket prices lately?
Sheesh.
Anyway
When suddenly - a quest!
A disruption to the natural flow.
A danger to challenge the heart, sole,
And yes, I mean sole - but the fish or foot? Hmm.
Anyway, the heart, …

#Vogon #Poetry #Epic #HighExplosives

1/6