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#findingmyvoice — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #findingmyvoice, aggregated by home.social.

  1. ANYWAY SO, all of that and then also I have to be *loudly wrong,* when my trauma says "be quietly perfect."

    I am paying this woman to make mistakes loudly in her face.

    It is uncomfortable.

    (Growth is uncomfortable.)

    She has advised we'll be doing "primal sound" exercises next class.

    😭

    #FindingMyVoice

  2. I've been putting more time into singing lately, getting more confident about making noise without fear of retribution.

    Of course there's tech: phone as piano, Hz detector and voice recorder, laptop shifting songs up and down to suit my range.

    (Fun fact: I sing lower than Melissa Etheridge.)

    It's discouraging to hear the playback. In my head I sound a lot better, more confident and precise. But: practice should help. And: sometimes noticing bad means I've developed some good.

    #FindingMyVoice

  3. A nice moment in my singing lesson today: with help and guidance, my voice did what I wanted, and then my coach and I both raised our arms in victory and went "yay!"

    I've been given interoception homework for next lesson, although it wasn't called that.

    Also I started crying twice, because of the *music*, man.

    She mainly seems amused.

    #ActuallyAutistic
    #FindingMyVoice

  4. New #FindingMyVoice goal:

    Learn to sing "Combustible" by #CoeurDePirate.

    "Mais comprends enfin, je suis combustible,
    Je ne peux arrêter, je n'suis pas docile."

    (This one will be a challenge without crying.)

    youtube.com/watch?v=kzGDAngUGz

  5. New #FindingMyVoice goal:

    Learn to sing "Combustible" by #CoeurDePirate.

    "Mais comprends enfin, je suis combustible,
    Je ne peux arrêter, je n'suis pas docile."

    (This one will be a challenge without crying.)

    youtube.com/watch?v=kzGDAngUGz

  6. New #FindingMyVoice goal:

    Learn to sing "Combustible" by #CoeurDePirate.

    "Mais comprends enfin, je suis combustible,
    Je ne peux arrêter, je n'suis pas docile."

    (This one will be a challenge without crying.)

    youtube.com/watch?v=kzGDAngUGz

  7. New #FindingMyVoice goal:

    Learn to sing "Combustible" by #CoeurDePirate.

    "Mais comprends enfin, je suis combustible,
    Je ne peux arrêter, je n'suis pas docile."

    (This one will be a challenge without crying.)

    youtube.com/watch?v=kzGDAngUGz

  8. New #FindingMyVoice goal:

    Learn to sing "Combustible" by #CoeurDePirate.

    "Mais comprends enfin, je suis combustible,
    Je ne peux arrêter, je n'suis pas docile."

    (This one will be a challenge without crying.)

    youtube.com/watch?v=kzGDAngUGz

  9. Speaking is a very different skill from listening, thinking, expressing.

    My society privileges speech over other forms of communication, and in practice silences and excludes those who speak "atypically."

    #FindingMyVoice

  10. I had my second singing lesson today.

    I think it's having the desired physical and psychological effects: strengthening muscles that atrophied during the pandemic, building the habit of making noise.

    She keeps encouraging me to be louder. I explained today that I'm trying but this is a thing I've been punished for.

    I worried I was trauma-dumping -- small talk had already forced me to explain I'm on leave, trying to build healthier habits -- but she just said "interesting!" 👍

    #FindingMyVoice

  11. I had a phone call with a law firm today, about what I consider some significant mistreatment that should be (1) made whole and (2) prevented from happening again.

    Apparently I have been underestimating how thoroughly the legal system refuses to acknowledge the lived experience of its subjects. It seems there are an awful lot of "you should have"s in the applicable jurisprudence, "you should have"s that are nearly impossible under actual lived circumstances. Legal fictions.

    I, too, "should have," legally. But I couldn't, actually. So.

    It is good to know that I would likely be wasting my time, verdict-wise.

    But, from an authenticity perspective, screaming loudly and legally about my lived experience in the hopes that one time someone in power will listen and *actually help make things better* sounds like a good use of my time.

    #FindingMyVoice

    (I apologize for the cheesy hashtag but the search function is useless.)

    Edit: moved an asterisk for readability.