#fedidreams — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #fedidreams, aggregated by home.social.
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Grüße gehen raus an Dr. Raymond Rife für seine Lampe, keine andere löst dieses famose knistern im Familiengold aus! Auch wirksam bei fortschreitender Bregenfäule.
#schwurbeldidurbel #einstein #tesla #starkstrom #montag #fedidreams #schickslasjahreeineskaisers
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CW: religion, hard drugs, blasphemy, dream
Time for a #fedidreams after the weirdness of last night. I dreamed that I was attending an emergency church meeting to deal with the fact that after a sudden flash, every single bible in the entire world had been updated with a new page. The page was an angry rant from God, complaining that heaven had run out of meth, and telling humanity they'd better send God some more drugs or "I'm going to do a flood or something; you guys had better not think I forgot how!" The church meeting eventually settled on the solution: writing a new hymn with the chorus "God loves the gift of meth. clap clap clap". The questions from the eighty-year-old church ladies about how to buy meth for God were deferred to another meeting to give the board of elders time to investigate. -
A weirdly timed #fedidreams: I fell asleep way too early listening to an audiobook, and dreamed that I'd written a game called "terror tray". The way the game worked was that it was an application that you run and keep in your system tray, and the longer it runs, the more terrified you become. So you have to run Terror Tray for as long as you can manage, before you become so scared that you can't move anymore to exit the application out of the system tray. Most of the dream, though, was me in court, being charged for murder. Because something was wrong with the Linux port, so as soon as Linux users ran the program, it was just set to full terror and their hearts exploded, killing them instantly. I was arguing loudly with my lawyer who wanted to go with the defense of "They're only Linux users, so it hardly counts as murder." I wasn't so much upset about the defense itself, I just didn't think it would work. Then I woke up feeling angry and annoyed about my stupid lawyer. And now I'm going to get up and listen to music or something as a cleanse before intentionally going to bed for real.
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The only phrase I recorded in my dream journal last night: "My band! It's mr. Meatboy and the beef huggers! Yeah. We all have stomachs." I have no memory of recording this, and that was the only context I gave myself. Although: what more could you possibly want to know? #fedidreams
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Oh! Posting late because I forgot about this, but it fits #fedidreams. My dream journal last night said (cleaned up quite a bit from the transcript): "Listening to the radio. Heard an add like in OTR. But it was for choco-sausages. Yes, thanks to modern technology, Campbells soup has been able to create sausages, with chocolate chips embedded in them! That's right, now you, too, can enjoy having a sausage with chocolate chips in it. And it's all thanks to Campbells, producers of theoretically consumable products since 1900. Remember, choco-sausages contain chemicals that are unknown to the state of California. Campbells does not claim any medical benefits for choco-sausages, that choco-sausages may treat or cure any medical condition, or that choco-sausages are food or a suitable part of any meal." I have no other context. I guess I dreamed this? Or did I just...partly wake up and think this idea was so good it had to be recorded? I have no idea. My mumbling made it obvious I wasn't really awake.
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It's time for another #fedidreams! Get ready to be underwhelmed. Last night, work assigned me to recover the mythical legendary sandwich. It was always named in full, in my dream. Apparently, the mythical legendary sandwich was originally created by the Romins, but when Rome was renamed to Italy, all of the maps had to be updated, and the secret hiding place of the mythical legendary sandwich was lost in the process. Can you tell I passed every history class I ever took? To assist me on my search, I was partnered with a set of North Korean triplets named Gold, Silver, and Bronze. No, I don't know, either. But lucky for me, anyone who is holding hands with two out of three North Korean triplets can fly and teleport. I'm sure all of you already knew this rule, but it was news to me! It turned out to be really useful, though. After teleporting to Italy, we began flying over the coast. This was surprisingly less comfortable than you would expect; I was just...dangling by the hands between Silver and Bronze. Also, it was cold and damp! When I woke up, I did notice that I was lying on one of my hands oddly, and it was a bit sore. Anyway, after a few hours of uncomfortable flight, we discovered an unpopulated island with a cave. Upon landing and entering the cave, we...discovered the mythical legendary sandwich. It was right there. So we quartered it into four and ate it. It was okay. And that's how the dream ended: four people hanging out in a cave, eating a pretty average sandwich. It was cheese, onions, mayo, lettuce, and onions on sourdough bread. I have no idea where any of that came from! And that's why I haven't been posting these lately. If you found this one unsatisfying, imagine how unsatisfying all the ones I haven't shared have been.
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Talk of cats & furries must've gotten to me for among my strange dreams this morning was one involving a cat man. He looked like a tall man with large cat ears & a tail. He didn't even have fur except on his ears and around his tail, but it was understood he wasn't human. I don't remember if he was a cat or something else. The rest of his skin was almost human, but different. I asked if I could touch his ears before he left, & they felt like a stuffed animal on the outside. #FediDreams #Caturday
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I just remembered a detail from my dream last night that seems so strange and out of place I feel like I should write it down. I came in the house we were staying in and there was a man sitting on the couch who was supposed to be a friend of my uncle, though my uncle wasn't there. He was holding a baby and said her name was Barbara Oak, and that they called her Oak because she was, in his words, "petting an oak tree." #FediDreams
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CW: dream, mentions of male genitals
Well, time for another #fedidreams! Last night I dreamed that I'd gotten Nintendo's latest console attachment: a jockstrap. Then I played the latest best-seller game, called "kick ball". The jockstrap attachment would sense your leg movements, to detect when you had kicked a player in the balls. Then it would squeeze the players balls based on the strength of the kick. The rules to kick balls were: two players join, standing across from each other. Then they kick one another in the balls until someone surrenders. After I won several games, I discovered that Nintendo had a public leaderboard of players who won the largest number of kick balls games. But they captioned it "Ladies, avoid these guys. They're stupid and their dicks won't work." I think I woke up from sheer embarrassment at that point. -
Right! Been a while since I did a #fedidreams. So: last night, I dreamed that my work created a new security policy. All employees must use bloodlock on any device that contains work related data. What's bloodlock? Glad you asked! Obviously, it's a feature that requires you to prick your finger and deposit a drop of blood on the sensor every time you want to unlock your device. In the meeting this was announced, we were told that we would be supplied 60 needles and bandages a month for this purpose, and if we needed more, we'd have to pay for them ourselves. Also, the "auto-lock" policy would be reduced from 60 seconds to 15 seconds. Lastly, Microsoft, Apple, and Google would all use our DNA (as collected from our blood) for AI training purposes. So I did this on my work device. However, I got a meeting scheduled with our HR team. They told me that "Your first and last name are work related data. Any device that contains your first and last name must comply with the bloodlock policy." So then I had to put it on all my personal devices, too. The dream ended with me trying to log into my work device for a critical meeting, but it wasn't working! I had pricked my finger so many times to unlock my devices that no blood would come out! I woke up to find my left hand had fallen asleep. Obviously that was the trigger for...all of this nonsense. LOL
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What's the all-around strangest dream you've ever had? #FediDreams #FediDream
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unrealistically expensive. I think you maybe had to buy a bunch of albums at once.
I was thinking of making a rant on here about how on iTunes I could buy a single song and it just took a few minutes, so "hello Apple." Of course I didn't do it because I'm a wimp, lol.
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For people who like Muppets and reading about random peoples' dreams, this is a thread I've enjoyed scrolling through. Sadly I've not had any Muppet or fandom-related dreams in quite a while. #FediDream #FediDreams #Muppets
https://muppetcentral.com/forum/threads/dreams-about-muppets.3031/ -
Extremely short and stupid #fedidreams from just as I was waking up this morning. I got on the bus (the 53 Steeles East from Finch Station in Toronto, if you want to be exacting about it). Someone sat down next to me and said "Hi, I'm bubbles!" I answered, "Wow, bubbles? That's a stupid name." So she punched me in the face and I woke up. Uh...okay.
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I forget all the exciting details of my dream, but I was in some kind of world where time worked differently. I woke up late and was annoyed, lol. #FediDreams
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Has anyone ever had a dream where you're telling someone about something that happens and the events play out all over again like they would in a flashback on a TV show, just with maybe some small details changed or more information given? #FediDreams
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Warning: I went back and fourth multiple times on if this #fedidreams should have a content warning for male chauvinism. It didn't feel that way in the dream, but it could absolutely be interpreted as obvious chauvinism on the part of my subconscious. It also contains mentions of heterosexual relationships, and objectification of women. Also, I don't know anything about the person mentioned, other than that they have a YouTube channel, sound female, and my dream borrowed their voice.
With that out of the way, last night I fell asleep with YouTube playing. Autoplay had somehow gotten me into the weirdly specific video genre of slightly adorkable women reminiscing about flash games they played as kids. That lead to me dreaming that I was attending FlashCon, the world's leading convention for fans of Macromedia flash! However, I was the only guy there. Random women kept approaching me and saying things like "Wow, you're a guy and your interested in flash!" and being the kind of vaguely flirty where you're not sure if they're intentionally flirting, or that's just how they are, or you're just misreading things. Anyway, then the YouTuber Dream Jelly (I think it was her video I fell asleep to) ran up to me, grabbed my arm, and was like "You have to attend my talk!" She dragged me into her session room, and sat me down in the front row. Then she proceeded to give a lengthy and detailed talk about her work on GFC, the GNU Flash Compiler. It was rather awkward, as for the entire talk, I was the only person in the room.
Don't worry, Fediverse; I know you folks, and I'm not going to leave out what few details I remember about GFC from the talk. Note that I know nothing about flash or compiler design, so I doubt any of this is even a thing. The talk started with an overview of the Flash Virtual Machine, FlashVM. Apparently this is the key part of the Macromedia Flash plugin that allowed cross-platform, cross-browser execution of flash. But Dream Jelly wanted to compile to native microcode, so she had to reverse engineer Flash VM, and write an opcode interpreter. As a bonus, that apparently allowed her to run all existing flash code natively. Then there was apparently something that I only noted in my dream journal as "a long boring section on binary hashtree optimization and string handling". Well, those are sure some words my subconscious knows! The talk ended with boasting about how GFC was a nine-pass compiler. Apparently, somehow that means it is the most efficient compiler written, and code written in ActionScript and compiled by GFC will always run faster than hand-written assembly, or assembly generated by any other compiler of any other programming language.
After that awkward morning, it was finally time for lunch. But before I could get food, someone cornered me to talk about MicroMedia, her operating system that was being written entirely in ActionScript with the GNU Flash Compiler. She asked me if I wanted to be a committer to the MicroMedia codebase. I agreed, mostly so I could leave the conversation and get something to eat. But she told me that the only way I could commit to her codebase was if I was her boyfriend. I was just kind of like, "Yeah, sure, that's fine, whatever. Email me." Then she hugged me and ran off, and I realized with horror that I was apparently dating some random woman I met at FlashCon and working on her pet project that I didn't care about.
Then, as usually happens in my long dreams, the fire alarm in the conference centre went off, but it was actually my alarm in real life, and I woke up.
What on earth was that, brain! All the weird awkwardness of an NSFW dream, but with absolutely no payoff, just obscure technical nonsense. I don't think I want to know what this dream says about me. -
Last night I dreamed that I was back in elementary school, and the teacher was taking attendance. "Garry!" "Here." "Larry!" "Here." "Harry!" "Here." "Mary!" "Here." At this point I was smothering my laughter, because I knew if I started laughing I'd get detention. "Barry!" "Here." "Perry!" "Here." "Jerry!" "Here." "Carrie!" "Here." "Terry!" "Here." "Charlotte Anna-Maria!" The fact that the last name didn't fit the pattern was so funny to my dream self that I burst out in howls of uncontrollable laughter, and woke myself up laughing. At least I escaped #fedidreams detention. Because if you get detention in a dream, you get detention in real life!
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Oh, I wrote down this #fedidreams post this morning and meant to post it, but never did: last night I dreamed that the company where I work put me in charge of our next business-critical project: shipping flumps to every single contractor, employee, customer, and prospect. Apparently, according to the slideshow presentation in my dream, flumps are the perfect analogy for digital accessibility: they're long, floppy, and multi-coloured. In the dream, this made perfect sense.
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CW: homophobia, ablism
I haven't posted a #fedidreams for a while. So here's one. Last night I dreamed I wrote a book called Silly Chilly Billy, in which Billy gets a croak in his throat 'cuz he wouldn't wear a coat, but smarter Carter wore his garters. However, the book launch was being protested because apparently the book contributed to the feminization of boys by suggesting that they might need to wear coats when it's cold outside. The book lead to all books by people with disabilities being banned, because true men aren't disabled, and so all books by the disabled are homosexual propaganda. I was then required to publicly apologize for attacking masculinity, and admit that coats are a crutch for the inferior. As people booed and threw things at me, I woke up.
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CW: apple juice, alternative sexuality, meta, dreams, death, political reference, trolls
So here's a bit of a cleanse after that last horrible #fedidreams I posted. Last night, of all things, I dreamed that I was writing a #fedidreams post! The post was apparently as follows: "I dreamed I was drinking apple juice and it was yummy." I posted it, and then everyone started criticizing me! One person said it was proof that I was a horrible racist because I was dreaming about apple juice instead of dead children killed by genocide. Another said that I obviously didn't care about climate change because I was sleeping. But the worst was someone called [email protected], who went on a multi-post rant about how he was sick of all these apple juice perverts on the fediverse, and why didn't I put a content warning on my juice pornography, and how he was sick of seeing it on his feed and wished people would just post about bestiality or necrophilia or something normal, and all these apple juice perverts are the reason Mastodon will never catch on or be respectable. I was about to block him when I woke up.
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CW: long post, dream, death, depression, ableism
I haven't done a #fedidreams in a while, and last nights was long enough to deserve it. It was one of those dreams where it was so awful that I kept waking up in horror, but every time I went back to sleep, the dream just resumed. So in the dream a new national government for all of North America had been formed, under the slogan "Laws for the hired, death for the fired." They created a system of cameras and police robots, and any employed person who broke any law was fired, and any unemployed person who broke any law was killed. Also, in order to get food, you had to report to the office of food justification. The office had really tiny elevators, that you had to enter and stand in sideways and crouched down. If you were too heavy for the elevator, or your stomach stuck out so you wouldn't fit in, you couldn't get food. Also, sometimes the elevators turned into trash compactors, and that's how the government got rid of undesirable people. Wheelchairs wouldn't fit, of course, and anyone who used one had already starved to death. I'd read reports that deaf people were getting the trash compactor treatment, so I was of course terrified as I entered the elevator. Thankfully, it didn't crush me, and it took me to the office of food justification where I had to complete an interview justifying why I deserved food for the week. However, as I went back home, a police robot caught me accidentally crossing the street against the light. There was no traffic, so I didn't know. But the police robot required my employer to fire me anyway. Now that I was a criminal, I couldn't get another job, and was evicted from my home. So I had to go to the local Poverty Place. The poverty place was a building full of tiny cubes. Every homeless person was given a cube, just large enough to sit inside of with your legs crossed, and that's where you had to live. There wasn't enough room to lie down or even stretch your arms. Both loitering and being homeless were against the law, and anyone living in a Poverty Place was considered a high risk offender, so we had to wear ankle bracelets with GPS trackers, and report to Poverty Place no later than 7 PM, and leave no later than 7 AM. When entering the building, you were permitted one bathroom use. If you owned any belongings, they were confiscated by the government, in order to cover the cost of your cube. On my way to register for my cube, I met a really old man, who told me that his wife had passed away, and he was just waiting to die so he could be with her. He gave me there portable house, because he couldn't stand living in it anymore. The portable house was a heavy rectangular object, about the size of a wheeled suitcase, with a button on it. Pushing the button would result in it deploying into an 80 foot by 80 foot fully furnished house. The old man told me to get as much food as I could, walk several days out into the woods, and deploy the house. He hoped it would keep me safe when the government started purging blind people. So I went to a McDonalds, pretending the portable house was actually a bomb, and made them give me all of the frozen food from the kitchen. Then I started running, hoping to escape the police robots and get to the woods. Thankfully, I woke up before they could kill me; there was no way that plan was going to work. And if there was ever a dream where death in the dream meant death in real life, that felt like it would be the one. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I can't describe to you how vivid that was, or the feeling of hopelessness, resignation, and darkness that pervaded the dream. I got up and cried in the shower.
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In the #fedidreams from last night, I had several friends staying over at my place. They were getting some sleep, and I was fiddling with a Linux laptop attempting to get sound working. However, whatever I did somehow made a loud alarm blast out of all the speakers in my house! This woke everyone up. My friends, being the easy-going and forgiving lot they are, tied a rope to a light fixture in my house, and used it to hang me. I really should have been able to realize I was dreaming and become lucid in this one; in real life, sound on Linux doesn't work no matter what you do.
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So here's a #fedidreams with an identify the song challenge. I dreamed that I was part of a TV ad for accessible chocolate. No, I don't know what "accessible" chocolate is, either. Braille on the boxes, I guess? Anyway, I woke up and sang the advertising song into my dream journal. The lyrics were "Don't know what it is 'bout that little brown nugget. But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it." Sung by an extremely American sounding man. I'm not musical, so I'm absolutely sure my dream pulled this from somewhere! My brain isn't capable of creating music by itself. Was this an actual ad for something? Or some kind of country song about...uh...the only brown nuggets I can think of are poop or chocolate. So maybe not that? I've been humming it to myself all day in hopes that I could come up with where it came from. But no luck. Hense the late post.
Edit: that was quick! Y'all are fast. Thanks to @jaybird110127 we now know that the real lyric is "don't know what it is 'bout that little girl's lovin'" and it's a song by Tim McGraw. I'm not aware that I've ever heard of this song in my life, but hearing it it's an exact match to the dream. So I must have heard it some point and just have no memory of it. But I am proud of my dream self for apparently changing "gal's lovin'" to "brown nugget" so it still fit perfectly and was about chocolate. -
I'm so tempted to stop using the word dream in #fedidreams posts. And let people think this is somehow happening in real life. Or, more likely, that I'm having some kind of psychotic break. Anyway, last night my cat Zara discovered how to reproduce via mitosis. Every time I picked her up, there was another cat; one in my arms, and one where she'd been sitting. It got to the point where there were so many Zara's that the house was getting full. So I decided to train her to combine all of her clones into one larger cat. Unfortunately, I created a monster. Literally. Soon a 30-foot tall cat was rampaging down to our local pizza place to demand anchovies and bacon. The police were ringing my doorbell to complain, and the ringing of the doorbell turned into the dinging of my alarm and I woke up.
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Why are disgusting food #fedidreams back again? In last night's dream, I was attending a "speed tasting event". See, if you just pull off someone else's thumb and eat it, the thumb will grow back again in about 30 seconds or so! Same with any other body part like ears, fingers, noses, toes, and so on. Also, the best way to tell how close someone is to being a good match for you to date is how much you like the taste of their body parts. Obviously, that leads to speed tasting: an event where you eat as many people's thumbs as you can, and date the person who's thumb you liked best! What could go wrong with this perfectly healthy combination of cannibalism and romance? Nothing, apparently. I ended up with the girl who's thumb tasted like a vanilla marshmallow; apparently mine tastes like brown sugar and baked beans, because I know you were all curious about that. Anyway, then the dream got better.
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CW: naughty word
So #fedidreams last night was extremely strange and unrelated to anything. All of the swim instructors at our local community pool had gone on strike and were forming a union. It was the community pool I went to in high school; I was a teenager in the dream. A bunch of us went to support them on the picket line, and found out that every time we used a swear word, the union got ten cents! Also, apparently expelling us for cursing was somehow against the law because it would be interfering with the union. So the vast majority of the dream was just me running up and down the hallways of my high school screaming "FUCK!" at the top of my lungs and occasionally giggling like a madman. It was strangely cathartic. If only supporting unions was this much fun in real life.