#whattosay — Public Fediverse posts

@londubh This one's somewhat more generic, but also provides some useful advice:

"How to Comfort Someone Who Has Just Lost Everything"
https://thesurvivalmom.com/dos-donts-for-comforting-someone-who-has-just-lost-everything/

One issue is that we as a culture seem to both lack much by way of instruction in how to address grief and loss (in both others and ourselves), and had a whole slew of bad advice, much of it probably well-intentioned, often religiously-tinged (e.g., "it's God's will" or "... plan").

I find that comfort, solidarity, hearing the person out, and offering specific future-oriented assistance (as opposed to vague, past (esp. re-litigating past events), and generalities) to be most useful.

The neighbourhood organising to ensure that ready-to-heat or ready-to-eat meals appear at the back door is a powerful memory. Also helping out with specific tasks or administrivia.

I so wish that more people I'm close to, and more organisations putatively existing to help, were more aware and/or acted in far greater accord with these principles.

#Helping #Community #HowToHelp #WhatToSay #WhatNotToSay

10 things not to say to #trauma
#survivors…

‘You can be a healthy part of a survivor's recovery by creating and strengthening a safe relationship with them.
Avoid saying, "You need to talk about it,” "It’s time to move on," or "Let me help you."
Instead simply suggest, “I’m here to listen if you need to talk," “I’m here for you," or “How can I help?”
…’

#TraumaSurvivors #ComplexTrauma #CPTSD
#WhatToSay #Communication #psychotherapy #Psychology

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/simplifying-complex-trauma/202210/10-things-not-say-trauma-survivors