#theborowitzreport — Public Fediverse posts

Happy Friday, y'all!

Thanks to #TheBorowitzReport it's not all doom and gloom
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/tbrs-week-in-photos

In other White House news: Press secretary Karoline Leavitt announced she was stepping down to spend more time lying to her family.
#TBR #TheBorowitzReport
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/report-trump-regularly-hides-in-catering

According to the #TheBorowitzReport, the #ConvictedFelon laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist and said: "They gave everything so people like me could give nothing."

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-honors-those-who-helped-others-3ef

#TBR #DraftDogder #TheBillionaireClass

We seem to have quite a bipartisan group of dodgers, who nonetheless managed to become Commander in Chief. #PatrioticDodgers

https://www.historyandheadlines.com/10-patriots-who-dodged-the-draft-or-did-not-serve/

Thanks #TBR, I really needed a good laugh!
#TheBorowitzReport

Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/kash-patel-rushed-to-hospital-after?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#USPol #parody #TheBorowitzReport #KashPatel #PeteHegseth #AirsickBabyForTheWin

NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/nato-sprays-antipsychotic-medication?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#USPol #Parody #TBR #TheBorowitzReport

#TheBorowitzReport always worth checking out. #TBR asks all the questions you wanted to hear the answers to
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/who-will-replace-mtg-in-trumps-clown

It’s unfair that Trump gets to sleep through his presidency and the rest of us have to be awake for it -- Andy Borowitz
https://substack.com/@borowitzreport/note/c-175182324?r=badto
#USPol #SleepyDonnie #TheNodfather #TheBorowitzReport #AndyBorowitz #humor

Stating, “I can see where this is going,” on Wednesday Donald J. Trump fled to Argentina, vowing never to return.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-flees-to-argentina?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#USPol #TheBorowitzReport #parody #Trump #Argentina #FlyCoachLoser

Failure On Parade

Trump's birthday crowd did an amazing job of social distancing
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/failure-on-parade?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#parody #TBR #TheBorowitzReport #USPol #DictatorParade #SleepyDon

Andy Borowitz took his genius pills today:
Mexico Renames the Liberty Bell the TACO Bell
#TheBorowitzReport #TACO
You are welcome:)

Man Who Fell Asleep at Pope’s Funeral was Already Going to Hell, Says God
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/man-who-fell-asleep-at-popes-funeral?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#TheBorowitzReport #TBR #Parody #Trump #PopeFrancis #SleepyDon

"Responding to 'a situation of utmost urgency,' President Biden released the nation’s Strategic Alcohol Reserve just hours before Election Night.

Immediately following the announcement, the price of vodka dipped below three dollars a gallon and Biden’s approval rating surged to 94 percent." ...

#electionday #election #drink #alcohol #TheBorowitzReport
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/us-releases-strategic-alcohol-reserve?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2337656&post_id=151077628&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=ndmt1&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

gm Fediverse,

Take a break from worrying about the election and read Profiles in Ignorance - How America’s Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber - by Andy Borowitz.

It’s full of laughs. Laughter is good for the soul. #theborowitzreport

TALLAHASSEE (#TheBorowitzReport)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” #RonDeSantis offered his campaign staff the chance to work for free in exchange for what he called “#invaluableSkills.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desantis-offers-campaign-staff-opportunity-to-work-for-free-in-exchange-for-invaluable-skills

@georgetakei I love the humor in #TheBorowitzReport

#TheOnion has had a bit of trouble with satire in the #PostTruth era.

But #AndyBorowitz just nails it.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-he-did-not-know-identity-of-dinner-guest-owing-to-white-hood