#thebeaverton — Public Fediverse posts

Such dedication.

“And never once has this prevented the Secretary from poking and prodding the ballsacks of our 1.1 million active duty service members. Dudes only,” the spokesman added, shifting uncomfortably. “

Hegseth pauses busy schedule of inspecting soldiers’ scrotums to make weird comments about Canadian teens’ bodies - #TheBeaverton https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/09/hegseth-pauses-busy-schedule-of-inspecting-soldiers-scrotums-to-make-weird-comments-about-canadian-teens-bodies/

Canadians chip in to buy Jamil Jivani a one-way ticket to United States

#TheBeaverton #Satire #CDNPoli
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/canadians-chip-in-to-buy-jamil-jivani-a-one-way-ticket-to-united-states/

😂

Art Of The Deal author fails to secure deal with friendliest nation on planet

#TheBeaverton #Satire
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/art-of-the-deal-author-fails-to-secure-deal-with-friendliest-nation-on-planet/

😂😭

Carney promises clean energy investment will almost make up for 1-2 days of new pipeline emissions

#TheBeaverton #Satire
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/carney-promises-clean-energy-investment-will-almost-make-up-for-1-2-days-of-new-pipeline-emissions/

This would actually be a brilliant PR campaign.

Edmonton plans separation referendum to separate from Alberta separation referendum

#TheBeaverton #Satire #ABPoli
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/07/edmonton-plans-separation-referendum-to-separate-from-alberta-separation-referendum/

Don’t threaten us with a good time. 🤣

Canadians overwhelmingly demand wealth tax after Kevin O’Leary says it will make him move away

#TheBeaverton #Satire
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/canadians-overwhelmingly-demand-wealth-tax-after-kevin-oleary-says-it-will-make-him-move-away/

Jared Leto struggling to think of ways he could have made creepiness more evident

#TheBeaverton #Satire
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/07/jared-leto-struggling-to-think-of-ways-he-could-have-made-creepiness-more-evident/

https://thebeaverton.com/2026/07/i-would-never-have-agreed-to-be-a-diplomat-in-canada-if-i-knew-id-have-to-be-diplomatic-to-canadians-says-pete-hoekstra/

“I would never have agreed to be a #diplomat in #Canada if I knew I’d have to be diplomatic to Canadians,” says Pete #Hoekstra

#satire #theBeaverton

https://thebeaverton.com/2023/08/blue-jays-fan-times-bathroom-breaks-for-when-team-has-runners-in-scoring-position-to-ensure-he-doesnt-miss-any-action/

#BlueJays fan times bathroom breaks for when team has runners in scoring position to ensure he doesn’t miss any action

#theBeaverton

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/06/poilievre-campaigns-on-a-united-canada-please-dont-make-me-find-yet-another-riding/

#Poilievre campaigns on a united #Canada: “Please don’t make me find yet another riding”

#theBeaverton

The Beaverton interviews an #Alberta #Separatist - #TheBeaverton https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/05/the-beaverton-interviews-an-alberta-separatist/ “Our movement is for all Albertans. Whether it be a soccer mom like Ilana Hendricks of 1585 Macleod TR SW in Calgary, or a veteran like Matthew Kearns (Sin number 535 200 999), Albertans know they can trust us.”

Another banger from #TheBeaverton. Newly elected #NDP leader, @avilewis, is firing people up in all sorts of ways, and I am here for it.

https://thebeaverton.com/2026/03/editorial-heres-why-avi-lewis-is-the-wrong-choice-to-lead-the-ndp-by-a-centrist-liberal/

The Beaverton on Mastodon seems like a natural fit! I reached out a while back, 🤞hoping they eventually bring their top notch satire here 🫡

#Trump demands #Carney give him his standing ovation from #Davos - #TheBeaverton https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/01/trump-demands-carney-give-him-his-standing-ovation-from-davos/

Nova Scotian mall insists giant tree will only eat “3 to 4 kids, max” this Christmas

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2021/12/nova-scotian-mall-insists-giant-tree-will-only-eat-3-to-4-kids-max-this-christmas/

#TheBeaverton #Shitposting #Shitpost

#TheBeaverton #satire
https://thebeaverton.com/2025/11/danielle-smith-uses-notwithstanding-clause-to-declare-herself-premier-of-b-c/

Time Magazine Falls for Satire News Site Article

Time Magazine published an article quoting The Beaverton as a source. The problem is that The Beaverton is a satire news site.

https://www.freezenet.ca/time-magazine-falls-for-satire-news-site-article/

#Miscellaneous #News #fail #journalism #TheBeaverton #Time #TimeMagazine

The fact that such a comment was immediately considered genuine speaks volumes about the current state of Canada-US relations, and the Trump administration more broadly.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/beaverton-dupes-time-hoekstra-9.6996328

#USPol #CDNPoli #PeteHoekstra #Trump #TimeMagazine #TheBeaverton

Time Magazine quotes The Beaverton

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/beaverton-dupes-time-hoekstra-9.6996328
- - -
Le magazine Time cite le Beaverton

// Article en anglais //

#Time #TheBeaverton #Satire

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/11/answering-your-questions-about-the-ostrich-story-your-uncle-wont-stop-posting-about/ #TheBeaverton “But worst of all was probably making them listen to the musicians they booked for the Ostrich Fest music festival, a THREE DAY music festival (and baptism opportunity) the farm put on, which we swear to god was 100% a real thing..”

Alexa explodes after Canadian replies to query with, “Oh, yeah, no, for sure.”

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/10/alexa-explodes-after-canadian-replies-to-query-with-oh-yeah-no-for-sure/

#Alexa #TheBeaverton