#stupidesttimeline — Public Fediverse posts

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I found out that my nephew's wife is getting her US citizenship and I am severely conflicted about what I should say to her.

Maybe "congratulations" but with a question mark?

#WhereWeAre
#StupidestTimeline
#Immigration

What's the polymarket odds for polymarket being taken down by a competing gambling cartel?

#Polymarket #StupidestTimeline

A finger on the scales of justice.

So an avowed racist shoots 45 people and kills 23 in Texas in 2019 and gets a plea deal with a life sentence instead of the death penalty.

Meanwhile Luigi Mangione shoots and kills the CEO of UnitedHeathcare and the DOJ directs prosecutors to seek the death penalty.

I'm not pro death penalty but how exactly is this an equal application of justice?

Src: https://www.texastribune.org/2025/03/25/texas-el-paso-mass-shooting-walmart-death-penalty-plea-bargain/

Src: https://whyy.org/articles/luigi-mangione-death-penalty-unitedhealthcare-ceo-killing/

#Justice
#StupidestTimeline

Existential quitters.

Anybody else worried that if AI destroys or enslaves us we'll be known the universe over as the species that can't finish what we start.

* It's gonna be tough to repair that kind of reputational damage when they google us.

#AI
#StupidestTimeline

Y’all, the Secretary of Scotch is out here embarrassing us in public again. Quoting Tarantino as though it were gospel. Literally.

These fake Xtians have never ever read the book they wave. Truly, my brothers and sisters, if you see anyone wearing diamond crucifixes, and proclaiming the name of the Prophet while besmirching his works, you can know that they are disciples of Mammon and Baal, and we need give them nothing but disdain.

I refer them to Matthew 7:23. (Ya know, an actual bible quote.) edit to say, ima drop a comment that is just bible quotes, so folks have ammo for this fight)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-quote-1236566414/

#hegseth #christianity #falseprophets #PulpFiction #SamuelJackson #Tarantino #StupidestTimeline

Y’all, the Secretary of Scotch is out here embarrassing us in public again. Quoting Tarantino as though it were gospel. Literally.

These fake Xtians have never ever read the book they wave. Truly, my brothers and sisters, if you see anyone wearing diamond crucifixes, and proclaiming the name of the Prophet while besmirching his works, you can know that they are disciples of Mammon and Baal, and we need give them nothing but disdain.

I refer them to Matthew 7:23. (Ya know, an actual bible quote.) edit to say, ima drop a comment that is just bible quotes, so folks have ammo for this fight)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-quote-1236566414/

#hegseth #christianity #falseprophets #PulpFiction #SamuelJackson #Tarantino #StupidestTimeline

Y’all, the Secretary of Scotch is out here embarrassing us in public again. Quoting Tarantino as though it were gospel. Literally.

These fake Xtians have never ever read the book they wave. Truly, my brothers and sisters, if you see anyone wearing diamond crucifixes, and proclaiming the name of the Prophet while besmirching his works, you can know that they are disciples of Mammon and Baal, and we need give them nothing but disdain.

I refer them to Matthew 7:23. (Ya know, an actual bible quote.) edit to say, ima drop a comment that is just bible quotes, so folks have ammo for this fight)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-quote-1236566414/

#hegseth #christianity #falseprophets #PulpFiction #SamuelJackson #Tarantino #StupidestTimeline

Y’all, the Secretary of Scotch is out here embarrassing us in public again. Quoting Tarantino as though it were gospel. Literally.

These fake Xtians have never ever read the book they wave. Truly, my brothers and sisters, if you see anyone wearing diamond crucifixes, and proclaiming the name of the Prophet while besmirching his works, you can know that they are disciples of Mammon and Baal, and we need give them nothing but disdain.

I refer them to Matthew 7:23. (Ya know, an actual bible quote.) edit to say, ima drop a comment that is just bible quotes, so folks have ammo for this fight)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-quote-1236566414/

#hegseth #christianity #falseprophets #PulpFiction #SamuelJackson #Tarantino #StupidestTimeline

Y’all, the Secretary of Scotch is out here embarrassing us in public again. Quoting Tarantino as though it were gospel. Literally.

These fake Xtians have never ever read the book they wave. Truly, my brothers and sisters, if you see anyone wearing diamond crucifixes, and proclaiming the name of the Prophet while besmirching his works, you can know that they are disciples of Mammon and Baal, and we need give them nothing but disdain.

I refer them to Matthew 7:23. (Ya know, an actual bible quote.) edit to say, ima drop a comment that is just bible quotes, so folks have ammo for this fight)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-bible-quote-1236566414/

#hegseth #christianity #falseprophets #PulpFiction #SamuelJackson #Tarantino #StupidestTimeline

I can't really explain the context or train of thought that led me here, but I thought it was funny in a very dark 21st century kinda way, and thought you might also get a brief "heh right?" wry amusement, and in this times, even that can feel a relief.

So, I wonder how much money it's costing Russia, Israel and China to form a human "iron dome" around our Demented in Chief to stop all the assassins who have surely tried.

(Dear 3initial agencies, this is what's known as humor. Perhaps not good humor, I'm not a humorist. I am also not making a threat against anyone. I do have champagne ready though, just in case. )

#trump #25th #StupidestTimeline #Corruption #WhyAreWeDoingThis

I can't really explain the context or train of thought that led me here, but I thought it was funny in a very dark 21st century kinda way, and thought you might also get a brief "heh right?" wry amusement, and in this times, even that can feel a relief.

So, I wonder how much money it's costing Russia, Israel and China to form a human "iron dome" around our Demented in Chief to stop all the assassins who have surely tried.

(Dear 3initial agencies, this is what's known as humor. Perhaps not good humor, I'm not a humorist. I am also not making a threat against anyone. I do have champagne ready though, just in case. )

#trump #25th #StupidestTimeline #Corruption #WhyAreWeDoingThis

I can't really explain the context or train of thought that led me here, but I thought it was funny in a very dark 21st century kinda way, and thought you might also get a brief "heh right?" wry amusement, and in this times, even that can feel a relief.

So, I wonder how much money it's costing Russia, Israel and China to form a human "iron dome" around our Demented in Chief to stop all the assassins who have surely tried.

(Dear 3initial agencies, this is what's known as humor. Perhaps not good humor, I'm not a humorist. I am also not making a threat against anyone. I do have champagne ready though, just in case. )

#trump #25th #StupidestTimeline #Corruption #WhyAreWeDoingThis

I can't really explain the context or train of thought that led me here, but I thought it was funny in a very dark 21st century kinda way, and thought you might also get a brief "heh right?" wry amusement, and in this times, even that can feel a relief.

So, I wonder how much money it's costing Russia, Israel and China to form a human "iron dome" around our Demented in Chief to stop all the assassins who have surely tried.

(Dear 3initial agencies, this is what's known as humor. Perhaps not good humor, I'm not a humorist. I am also not making a threat against anyone. I do have champagne ready though, just in case. )

#trump #25th #StupidestTimeline #Corruption #WhyAreWeDoingThis

I can't really explain the context or train of thought that led me here, but I thought it was funny in a very dark 21st century kinda way, and thought you might also get a brief "heh right?" wry amusement, and in this times, even that can feel a relief.

So, I wonder how much money it's costing Russia, Israel and China to form a human "iron dome" around our Demented in Chief to stop all the assassins who have surely tried.

(Dear 3initial agencies, this is what's known as humor. Perhaps not good humor, I'm not a humorist. I am also not making a threat against anyone. I do have champagne ready though, just in case. )

#trump #25th #StupidestTimeline #Corruption #WhyAreWeDoingThis

Good morning for what I hope is NOT the last normal day of our existence.

If it turns out that today is the last normal day, then I wish us all good luck in the coming apocalyptic dystopia.

If someone has a chance, maybe scratch out a few words on a rock somewhere explaining why we stood by and let a moron steer the world into destruction.

Get a helmet, dark sunglasses and some lip-balm at the store today if you have the chance. 😔

#DangerouslyStupid
#StupidestTimeline

Great!

Gaussian Splats - yet another new technology to help us lie and deceive one another.

Add it to the pile I suppose.

Nothing is real but the lie anymore.

P.S. I'm betting porn is going to love this tech.

src: https://youtu.be/X8yRlA7jqEQ

#NothingButLies
#StupidestTimeline

Oh, you know what’s really fun about Ellison Panopticon Datacenters of Doom?

AI data centers are creating "data heat islands" that can increase local land surface temperatures by an average of 2°C (3.6°F), with extreme cases recording rises up to 9.1°C (16.4°F). These facilities, which produce massive amounts of waste heat from high-energy computing, impact surrounding areas up to 10 kilometers away, affecting over 340 million people worldwide.

So that’s exciting!

Reported initially by New Scientist, but it’s paywalled and archive links no longer work for me. Archive.org I guess has beef with some backbone provider and I’m caught in infinite captcha hell. 🤷🏻‍♀️

https://www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/ai-data-center-heat-islands-usage-climate-b2949418.html

#capitalism #layoffs #oracle #guillotines #ellison #techbros #StupidestTimeline #EpsteinClass

I guess Uncle Sam doesn't want any brown-skinned folks sneaking in through that "patriotism and sacrifice" loophole. 🙄 🤦‍♂️

"ICE agents will screen attenders of Marine Corps graduation ceremonies"

"...federal law enforcement personnel 'will be present at installation access points to conduct enhanced screening and lawful immigration status inquiries during recruit family and graduation days'”.

#HowItsGoing
#StupidestTimeline

src: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/31/ice-agents-marine-corps-graduation

#capitalism #layoffs #oracle #guillotines #ellison #techbros #StupidestTimeline

And let us not forget this blast from the past, where Larry said the panopticon is necessary to make everyone behave the way he thinks they should.

https://www.theregister.com/2024/09/16/oracle_ai_mass_surveillance_cloud/

A Bruce Springsteen lyric keeps running through my head; Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that’s where they expect it least. I realize the song was not meant as a revolutionary anthem, and in context it doesn’t make sense as one, but something about it holds true for this situation.

These are small fragile men, the #EpsteinClass, their egos stretch far beyond their human containers and the things they cannot abide, more than anything else, is to be ridiculed or ignored.

We need to make being a billionaire morally abhorrent, someone you’d twitch your skirts away from. There is no moral excuse for billionaires to exist, and they should not. We should shun them from polite society. And laugh at their outrage.

#capitalism #layoffs #oracle #guillotines #ellison #techbros #StupidestTimeline

https://thedreydossier.substack.com/p/do-no-harm-terms-and-conditions-may

Hey, speaking of Evil, Ellison and Oracle, Oracle acquired Cerner for $28.3 billion; all the clinical records from 14,000 medical facilities, the CMS contract covering Medicare and Medicaid for 150 million Americans, a federal designation that lets them see health data moving across the entire system, and a commercial AI product selling access to 129 million patient records that launched 13 days before the CMS contract was announced.

HIPAA was supposed to prevent this, but it doesn't. And the contract that governs what Oracle can do with your Medicare data has never been made public.

TAKE ACTION — Show Us The Contract:
thedreydossier.github.io/show-us-the-contract/

Full written investigation with every source cited and linked.

As of March 31, 2026, Larry Ellison's net worth is estimated to be around $258 billion, according to Bloomberg, placing him among the world's top three richest individuals. His wealth is primarily derived from his 40% ownership stake in Oracle.

Today, Oracle began executing what analysts estimate could be its largest layoff in history, with reports of 20,000 to 30,000 job cuts affecting roughly 18% of its global workforce.

Employees received termination emails from "Oracle Leadership" at 6 a.m. with no prior warning, marking the day of the email as their final working day.

The restructuring is driven by Oracle's need to fund an aggressive $156 billion AI infrastructure buildout. The company reported a 95% jump in net income to $6.13 billion last quarter.

I need some carpenters and a sword maker with a big anvil. 2026, Make Guillotines Great Again.

https://thenextweb.com/news/oracle-layoffs-march-2026

#capitalism #layoffs #oracle #guillotines #ellison #techbros #StupidestTimeline

https://blog.thereallo.dev/blog/decompiling-the-white-house-app

Wowy wow wow wow! I’m sure none of y’all planned on downloading the malware from the Mango, but just in case, DO NOT. It will:

Inject JavaScript into every website you open

Has a full GPS tracking pipeline always on.

Loads JavaScript from a random person's GitHub Pages site (lonelycpp.github.io) for YouTube embeds.

Loads third-party JavaScript from Elfsight (elfsightcdn.com/platform.js) for social media widgets, with no sandboxing.

Sends email addresses to Mailchimp, images are served from Uploadcare, and a Truth Social embed is hardcoded with static CDN URLs. None of this is government infrastructure.

Has no certificate pinning.

Ships with dev artifacts in production.

Profiles users extensively through OneSignal - tags, SMS numbers, cross-device aliases, outcome tracking, notification interaction logging, in-app message click tracking, and full user state observation

#infosec #whitehouse #malware #StupidestTimeline

A friend just received an emergency alert text from both his town and county leadership saying "Hey don't turn your lawn sprinklers on - we don't have enough water" and the people in his small suburb are losing their shit (his words).

He didn't seem to take much comfort from my response not to worry. Dirt makes a fine front lawn, just ask the characters in "Grapes of Wrath".

#EverythingIsFine
#StupidestTimeline
#Consequences

src: https://old.reddit.com/r/boulder/comments/1ryxtjw/erie_water_directive_issued_this_morning/

$4/gal at the pump this morning and I didn't see a single Trump supporter strutting around the gas station owning us libs.

Surely now is the time to gloat? 🤔

#uspolitics
#StupidestTimeline

Last night during our banned book club meeting I learned that I.C.E. kidnapped some people from the parking lot of our local grocery store with the help of our police department last week and our state penitentiary subcontracts prison labor to corporations.

Great. Now I have two local issues to be depressed about this morning.

Maybe I'll just go back to bed.

#Sigh
#StateOfTheUnion
#StupidestTimeline

Fun with fanatics.

(Islamic) Republic of Afghanistan
- 1973 to 1978 (I) --> 5 years
- 1978 to 1992(II) --> 14 years
- 2004 to 2021 (III)--> 17 years

Note to Pete Hegseth: Islamic 'Republics' don't stay republics after the forces propping them up, depart.

I thought this might be good information to know before we go in to topple Iran's government with our puppets. *

* Also, Iranian fanatics are at least *TWICE* as pissed at us as the Afghans ever were.

#WorldPolitics
#StupidestTimeline

Crazy.

I definitely didn't have "starting endless war with fanatics by conducting an incredibly expensive illegal assassination" on my bingo card.

#Kakistocracy
#InternationalLaw
#StupidestTimeline

[Me waking to find we're at war with Iran]: "Wow, there must be some nuclear-grade secrets in those Epstein files."

#HowItsGoing
#Distractions
#StupidestTimeline

My favorite quote I saw on the internet today:

"Can we just get _one_ God damned day without all his bullshit?"

It says a lot about our circumstance that I didn't need another word to know who the author was talking about.

#OhThatGuyAgain
#TiredOfTheCrap
#Politics
#StupidestTimeline

#stupidesttimeline

Just brave enough.

Kudos to the U.K. for having the courage to arrest and investigate one of the more prominent Epstein customers (allegedly). I realize they didn't arrest him for direct involvement with under-age girls but at least it's an attempt to hold him accountable.

Meanwhile here in the States, our legislators are shown redacted files and have their browser history monitored by the very agency responsible for holding such behavior to account.

#Kleptocracy
#StupidestTimeline
#Justice

“Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: you arm one, you've got to arm them all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.”
--Judge Flatt, "Nobody's Fool"

I'm beginning to think we're going to be too stupid to dig ourselves out of this in three more years.

A party balloon... <sigh>

"El Paso airspace closure was reportedly triggered by the CBP’s use of an anti-drone laser"

#Craptocracy
#Incompetency
#StupidestTimeline

Source: https://www.theverge.com/policy/878108/el-paso-airspace-closure-cbp-anti-drone-laser

@estherschindler alt-text

Cartoon in 60s or 70s comic book style.

A woman looks out a house window at a silhouetted city skyline with thought bubble, "What a stupid time to be alive."

#alttext #alt4you #stupidestTimeline #onePanelComic

Perhaps for the sake of story-line consistency they could consider renaming Grok to W.O.P.R?

SkyNet seems like it might be too alarmist.

#AI
#StupidestTimeline

Source: https://www.newsweek.com/hegseth-announces-grok-access-to-classified-pentagon-networks-11349020

My new side-project is developing an inter-dimensional portal to get myself the fuck out of this shitty ass timeline. There have to be an infinite number of saner universes where this clown isn’t president.

#StupidestTimeline

So very dumb.

Seems like Pete the drunk is looking for an in-person oath of fealty instead of the military's Oath of Office.

Somebody want to explain to the idiot why it's a super bad idea to have all of your general and flag officers in one location at the same time? 🤦‍♂️

"Hegseth abruptly summons top military commanders to a meeting in Virginia next week"

Source: https://apnews.com/article/pentagon-hegseth-meeting-military-commanders-4ceb8026bff7c652b08c08e8afb1df99

#StupidAndUnsafe
#StupidestTimeline

Don't think of it as the apocalypse. Think of it as a "1984 -- Brave New World -- Jennifer Government" mash-up.

#mashup #mashups #apocalypse #uspol #bravenewworld #jennifergovernment #endoftheworld #stupidesttimeline #dumbesttimeline #funny? #probablynot #Orwell

Don't think of it as the apocalypse. Think of it as a "1984 -- Brave New World -- Jennifer Government" mash-up.

#mashup #mashups #apocalypse #uspol #bravenewworld #jennifergovernment #endoftheworld #stupidesttimeline #dumbesttimeline #funny? #probablynot #Orwell

Don't think of it as the apocalypse. Think of it as a "1984 -- Brave New World -- Jennifer Government" mash-up.

#mashup #mashups #apocalypse #uspol #bravenewworld #jennifergovernment #endoftheworld #stupidesttimeline #dumbesttimeline #funny? #probablynot #Orwell

Don't think of it as the apocalypse. Think of it as a "1984 -- Brave New World -- Jennifer Government" mash-up.

#mashup #mashups #apocalypse #uspol #bravenewworld #jennifergovernment #endoftheworld #stupidesttimeline #dumbesttimeline #funny? #probablynot #Orwell

Don't think of it as the apocalypse. Think of it as a "1984 -- Brave New World -- Jennifer Government" mash-up.

#mashup #mashups #apocalypse #uspol #bravenewworld #jennifergovernment #endoftheworld #stupidesttimeline #dumbesttimeline #funny? #probablynot #Orwell

Back to the stone age for us.

Stockton Rush the CEO for OceanGate once remarked on camera "All tests are good tests." This was just before he fired Boeing Aerospace as consultants on his project because his submersible design and materials kept failing pressure tests.

Boeing has since gone on to cut corners in manufacturing and testing in their own manufacturing process. I guess this is so they can kill passengers directly, without the need for a middle man. 🤷‍♂️

#StupidestTimeline
#Depressing

Back to the stone age for us.

Stockton Rush the CEO for OceanGate once remarked on camera "All tests are good tests." This was just before he fired Boeing Aerospace as consultants on his project because his submersible design and materials kept failing pressure tests.

Boeing has since gone on to cut corners in manufacturing and testing in their own manufacturing process. I guess this is so they can kill passengers directly, without the need for a middle man. 🤷‍♂️

#StupidestTimeline
#Depressing

Back to the stone age for us.

Stockton Rush the CEO for OceanGate once remarked on camera "All tests are good tests." This was just before he fired Boeing Aerospace as consultants on his project because his submersible design and materials kept failing pressure tests.

Boeing has since gone on to cut corners in manufacturing and testing in their own manufacturing process. I guess this is so they can kill passengers directly, without the need for a middle man. 🤷‍♂️

#StupidestTimeline
#Depressing

Back to the stone age for us.

Stockton Rush the CEO for OceanGate once remarked on camera "All tests are good tests." This was just before he fired Boeing Aerospace as consultants on his project because his submersible design and materials kept failing pressure tests.

Boeing has since gone on to cut corners in manufacturing and testing in their own manufacturing process. I guess this is so they can kill passengers directly, without the need for a middle man. 🤷‍♂️

#StupidestTimeline
#Depressing

Procrastination for the win.

The doorbell at Chez Miasma stopped working about a month ago. No ringing inside when someone pushes the button, no intercom and no internet camera view of the outside word.

I'm going to get right on that. I figure I'll have it back online as early as 2028.

Not working isn't necessarily broken.

#ShelterInPlace
#StupidestTimeline
#HomeMaintenance

Given that we live in the stupidest timeline[1], I thought this might be useful in reasoning about the world around you ...

Occam's Butterknife: With all else being equal, the stupidest explanation is likely the correct one. [2]

[1] You may have noticed a lot of people have expressed this observation in the last month or so...
[2] I don't care if Steve Sailer has used this term for something else.

#stupid #stupidest #explanation #timeline #occam #OccamsButterknife #StupidestTimeline #reason #reasoning

Given that we live in the stupidest timeline[1], I thought this might be useful in reasoning about the world around you ...

Occam's Butterknife: With all else being equal, the stupidest explanation is likely the correct one. [2]

[1] You may have noticed a lot of people have expressed this observation in the last month or so...
[2] I don't care if Steve Sailer has used this term for something else.

#stupid #stupidest #explanation #timeline #occam #OccamsButterknife #StupidestTimeline #reason #reasoning

Given that we live in the stupidest timeline[1], I thought this might be useful in reasoning about the world around you ...

Occam's Butterknife: With all else being equal, the stupidest explanation is likely the correct one. [2]

[1] You may have noticed a lot of people have expressed this observation in the last month or so...
[2] I don't care if Steve Sailer has used this term for something else.

#stupid #stupidest #explanation #timeline #occam #OccamsButterknife #StupidestTimeline #reason #reasoning

Given that we live in the stupidest timeline[1], I thought this might be useful in reasoning about the world around you ...

Occam's Butterknife: With all else being equal, the stupidest explanation is likely the correct one. [2]

[1] You may have noticed a lot of people have expressed this observation in the last month or so...
[2] I don't care if Steve Sailer has used this term for something else.

#stupid #stupidest #explanation #timeline #occam #OccamsButterknife #StupidestTimeline #reason #reasoning