#socialtransition — Public Fediverse posts

So making the changes to the way you present and having people see that, is important to move this process forward and solidify a new identity. If you are stuck cis-moding, you are having a different identity reflected back at you, and it will hold back progress on solidifying a new identity, even making other identities seem off, or not real, etc. If making this change by yourself seems too much, then find a local trans group and hang out in person with them, inhabit the new you, or who you think the new you is, you may find that it changes as you construct it with others.

You've got this, and the community can help you as well! :heart_trans:

#trans #socialtransition #identity

For most people who have socially transitioned, you likely have ideas of how the way you interact in the world has changed. For those moving more feminine, it might be that the world has become more trusting of you, and more friendly. For me this was very obvious early on when giving a coffee order to a barista, with them acting somewhat guarded and just asking what was necessary for the order right up to asking my name, at which point the interaction could have stopped as they had all they needed. Instead there was a distinct change where their tone changed and they started up a friendly conversation with small talk. Even earlier when I had been dropping things at a charity shop and when arriving with a bag to donate being told where I could place it near the back of the store, but the last lot I dropped off I was dressed different with a new coat that had a more fem silhouette, and this time the staff member insisted on taking it from me and offering to help. These were examples of changes in the way people treated me because of how they saw my identity.

I also found that cis friends aren't great at reflecting gender back, instead they often want to make your gender not a big deal as a way of showing they still support you and see you as the same person but what you actually need is active affirming responses to your changes. Trans people further along are much better at this kind of affirmation, unsurprisingly, which is why hanging out with them while embodying your new identity helps you move forward.

#trans #socialtransition #identity

This is for trans people stuck at the start of social transition. Boosts welcome :heart_trans:

I do a lot of community support work and often talk with people who feel somewhat stuck between leaving behind their old identity and embracing their new one. Often for varying reasons but it all seems to come to the same point, their new identity is struggling to be born.

A friend in my social group said something critical for this:

I think one of the most important things for transition is being perceived. Existing as your authentic self and just existing where other people can witness you.

We socially construct our own identity, this is why you can't get very far on your own. For you to feel your new identity is real, and not just something you are pretending to be or faking, you must have people see it and reflect it back to you. You need to see other people see you as you see your identity, whatever it is woman, man, fem, masc, agender, non-binary, etc, and then treat you as your identity. This is what makes the identity feel real. We all implicitly do this at the start being the subject doing the viewing and the object being viewed, performing our gender for ourselves, but it can only ever be the start of things.

Your identity isn't just the clothes you wear, the way you cut and style your hair, the posture you inhabit, it's also the way people talk to you, the kind of complements or not you receive, the way people see you. When we talk about identity we often focus on the things we are in control of, but those things are caught within a web of culture that extends beyond us. The way we dress references those cultural things and in turn people recognise and reflect back those things to us.

#trans #socialtransition #identity