#phonebattery — Public Fediverse posts

The Phone Battery Is at 2%, Just Like My Motivation

Good day everybody! Look at my phone. 2% battery, just like my motivation after a long week of life kicking my ass.

You know, I charged this phone up last night at 100%. Felt like a king. Charging that phone was the most productive thing I did yesterday. I accomplished more last year than Congress did. In 2025, they sent only 38 bills to the president’s desk. My phone installed more software updates than that, and somehow both still failed to fix anything.

Ah, but no, that’s life for ya. You wake up on Monday morning, full of piss and vinegar, ready to take on the world. Then by Tuesday, you’re just tryna make it through the day without crying at your desk, hoping no one hears you muttering profanities under your breath… ‘Who took my stapler?’

I mean, don’t get me started on staplers. I’m 99% sure someone in the office thinks it’s a good prank to move it every morning. And I’m pretty sure I know who it is too – the guy in accounting who listens to operatic metal music on his Bose headphones.

He’s like, ‘Heavens to Betsy, look at this magnificent beard! Is it blowing in the wind? No! It’s just magnificent.’ And he does that hair flip thing that Kanye West does.

Am I right? But I digress… My phone. 2%. What is this, middle school when you were trying to send clandestine text messages under your desk during class? Except back then, you had to use your fingers to type the numbers, not your thumb!

And now here I am, 2% and a world of hurt if I can’t make it to a charger soon. My wife is going to kill me when she sees all the missed calls from her. She knows if I’m not answering, either I’m dead or I’ve run out of minutes on my plan. Again.

I’m a man with an unlimited data plan. Should not be a thing. I should be able to binge watch cat videos all day, without worrying about data limits! The nerve of these cell phone companies!

But I digress… My phone battery. If you’re reading this, whoever you are, thanks for sticking with me through this rant. I’ll just leave you with this parting thought – if you’re feeling 2%, just remember: at least your phone can still receive and make calls. Your motivation probably can’t even do that anymore.

Should you stop charging your #phonebattery to 100%? Here’s what experts say

https://www.techradar.com/phones/should-you-stop-charging-your-phone-battery-to-100-percent-heres-what-experts-say

🔋 Ah, the endless quest for better batteries continues! Apparently, the secret sauce is sieving pores, because who knew that turning silicon into artisanal colanders would help your phone last a whopping 3 extra minutes? 🤯 Meanwhile, the real innovation is Nature’s retro web design, where CSS is an optional luxury. 🖥️😂
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-025-60191-9 #betterbatteries #siliconinnovation #techhumor #naturedesign #phonebattery #HackerNews #ngated

My “classic” iPhone 8, which is almost 8 years old, has the expected battery life issues.

I run down to low battery levels multiple times a day. A bit of reading news in the morning (after charging the phone all night) leaves me below 50% before I even leave the house.

But it’s always charged up to 90% just as quickly as it runs through the charge.

1/2

#iPhone #phoneBattery

However, in the last couple of days, charging has become **much** slower, while the phone still uses that charge up just as quickly.

Is the phone (battery) finally dying? Should I be thinking about getting a new one?

2/2

#iPhone #phoneBattery

ICYMI - I was discharging my #phoneBattery last night, and it sat at 1% for a long time as the uncalibrated battery monitor figured out how deep the discharge could go.

I finally resorted to tooting Charles Dickens's "Tale of Two Cities" for a while, and only ran out in chapter two.

I'm back up to 100% this morning. So here's my thread of the entire text of "War and Peace…"

Kidding! - I could probably do it though, with this 5000mAhr battery. lol