#penises — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #penises, aggregated by home.social.
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So yesterday the Bayeux tapestry was transported, and because of the chatter about it I learned a couple of things. The best being that there exists a replica in Reading. https://www.readingmuseum.org.uk/blog/breaking-bayeux-code-fine-details-britains-bayeux-tapestry so all you Brits, skip the lines and stroll at leisure.
Second I had forgotten all about it, but online you can zoom in and explore also at your liesure:
https://www.bayeuxmuseum.com/en/the-bayeux-tapestry/discover-the-bayeux-tapestry/explore-online/
Third is the most funny bit and is about penises. The replica in Reading, being sown by Victorian women has the human penises neatly covered by pants.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2025/jul/15/never-mind-the-norman-bollocks-readings-replica-bayeux-tapestry-is-a-prudish-triumph
#bayeux #tapestry #penises #replica #reading #bayeuxtapestry -
So yesterday the Bayeux tapestry was transported, and because of the chatter about it I learned a couple of things. The best being that there exists a replica in Reading. https://www.readingmuseum.org.uk/blog/breaking-bayeux-code-fine-details-britains-bayeux-tapestry so all you Brits, skip the lines and stroll at leisure.
Second I had forgotten all about it, but online you can zoom in and explore also at your liesure:
https://www.bayeuxmuseum.com/en/the-bayeux-tapestry/discover-the-bayeux-tapestry/explore-online/
Third is the most funny bit and is about penises. The replica in Reading, being sown by Victorian women has the human penises neatly covered by pants.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2025/jul/15/never-mind-the-norman-bollocks-readings-replica-bayeux-tapestry-is-a-prudish-triumph
#bayeux #tapestry #penises #replica #reading #bayeuxtapestry -
Guys with small #penises always blaming penis stealing witches for "shrinking their penises" or whatever. Like, bruh, you don't choose the size of your penis, it doesn't reflect you, and it's not even that small, y u tryna' burn that girl at the stake???
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Guys with small #penises always blaming penis stealing witches for "shrinking their penises" or whatever. Like, bruh, you don't choose the size of your penis, it doesn't reflect you, and it's not even that small, y u tryna' burn that girl at the stake???
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Guys would rather strap knives to their dicks and have some sort of winner-take-all "duel of the dicks" than talk it out SMH 😩
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Guys would rather strap knives to their dicks and have some sort of winner-take-all "duel of the dicks" than talk it out SMH 😩
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CW: penis & chocolate
Taza is the only brand of chocolate I've found that doesn't make me sick. Sorry my penis got in the picture.
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The P-Shot, explained: What to know about the ED treatment popular with gay men
https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.advocate.com/health/sexual-health/pshot-explainer
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RIP all the men who thought they needed to replace their #penises with venomous snakes, just to fit in... :sadcowboy:
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RIP all the men who thought they needed to replace their #penises with venomous snakes, just to fit in... :sadcowboy:
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CW: Well-hung naked man young and old
Full exposure: These two pictures were taken 30 years apart. I've definitely grown a bit squishier around the edges....
Nude #naked #monstercock #big #penis #mypenis #menaked #me #mine #menude #nakedman #ageing #aging #bodies #malebodies #nothingtohide #nudism #nudity #naturalism #self #selfie #cock #penises #fullfrontal #time #exhibitionism
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CW: Well-hung naked man young and old
Full exposure: These two pictures were taken 30 years apart. I've definitely grown a bit squishier around the edges....
Nude #naked #monstercock #big #penis #mypenis #menaked #me #mine #menude #nakedman #ageing #aging #bodies #malebodies #nothingtohide #nudism #nudity #naturalism #self #selfie #cock #penises #fullfrontal #time #exhibitionism
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CW: Fun with Large Dick
Playing with my penis. Won't you join me? #penises #cocks #cocksofmastodon #penisesofmastodon #longdick #dickpics #monstercock #mycock #me #mine #nude #man #nsfw
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AFP: Peruvian historical site vandalized with obscene graffiti in viral video. “A vandal defaced Chan Chan, a UNESCO World Heritage Site in northern Peru, with obscene graffiti over the weekend, the Ministry of Culture said Monday. In a video that went viral, a young man wearing a backpack can be seen spray-painting a giant penis on a wall of this fortified complex that is more than 600 years […]
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Is there like a thing in guy culture where guys compare penises? Like, do they actually stand around and hold their penises up next to each other, like, "yeah bro, my penis is real nice, but you got a good penis too"? Is this a thing?
Inquiring girls want to know.
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Is there like a thing in guy culture where guys compare penises? Like, do they actually stand around and hold their penises up next to each other, like, "yeah bro, my penis is real nice, but you got a good penis too"? Is this a thing?
Inquiring girls want to know.
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"Penises are **WOKE* now. Conservatives, Cut Them Off!"*
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"Penises are **WOKE* now. Conservatives, Cut Them Off!"*
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Some days, having a penis is an utter annoyance. Other days, you think hell yes, I have a penis. #penises
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Some days, having a penis is an utter annoyance. Other days, you think hell yes, I have a penis. #penises
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#AdHocHypothesis time.
We think of #MorningWood as being caused by the day/night cycle, but what if we have it wrong? What if male mammals are actually part of a terraforming-like system, with an adaptation that causes them to have a blood-flow reaction at a certain rhythm, every 24 hours, and this constant wave of motion throughout the world creates a torque effect, leading to the rotation of the Earth itself?
People, I'm saying that #PenisesMakeTheWorldGoRound.
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#AdHocHypothesis time.
We think of #MorningWood as being caused by the day/night cycle, but what if we have it wrong? What if male mammals are actually part of a terraforming-like system, with an adaptation that causes them to have a blood-flow reaction at a certain rhythm, every 24 hours, and this constant wave of motion throughout the world creates a torque effect, leading to the rotation of the Earth itself?
People, I'm saying that #PenisesMakeTheWorldGoRound.
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The #NittyGritty #411 On #Balls
Are you completely mystified by these hanging #appendages? Don’t worry — we got you. While #penises get top billing in the #puberty #pantheon, #testicles are actually just as important because it’s where #male #puberty begins. Plus, we’re #moms and know that #boys run around talking about “#balls” ad nauseam.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #SexEd
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/the-nitty-gritty-411-on-balls-from-your-fellow-boy-moms
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The #NittyGritty #411 On #Balls
Are you completely mystified by these hanging #appendages? Don’t worry — we got you. While #penises get top billing in the #puberty #pantheon, #testicles are actually just as important because it’s where #male #puberty begins. Plus, we’re #moms and know that #boys run around talking about “#balls” ad nauseam.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #SexEd
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/the-nitty-gritty-411-on-balls-from-your-fellow-boy-moms
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CW: pornographic art
Art by @redgart, found on #rule34 : https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=8498726
it's so hot ! I wonder why do we love such #fantasies ? I mean, willing to be a #cumdump is quite common isn't it ?#OC Aquo qu'ei hórt caud ! Que 'm demandi perqué avem aquestas fantasia ? vóler ser ua pompa de fotre qu'ei pro comun, no ?
#gayart #gaysex #pornography #NSFW #explicit #sexualcontent #male #penis #penises #gaydick #gaymen #bukkake #gaybukkake #cum #sperm
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#Microplastics discovered in human #penises for the first time
https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/19/health/microplastics-human-penises-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness/index.html -
#Microplastics discovered in human #penises for the first time
https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/19/health/microplastics-human-penises-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness/index.html -
CW: lewd AI joke
"Jeeves, buy me some peanuts, will you?"
"Sure."
[Box arrives.]
"Jarvis! What the hell is this?"
"My name is Jeeves, and these are Dildoes."
"I asked you for peanuts."
"Oh, well... I heard penises. Since penises are not sold in store, I got you the next best thing, dildos."
[The name mix up really happened as I was writing. I decided to roll with it.]
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CW: lewd AI joke
"Jeeves, buy me some peanuts, will you?"
"Sure."
[Box arrives.]
"Jarvis! What the hell is this?"
"My name is Jeeves, and these are Dildoes."
"I asked you for peanuts."
"Oh, well... I heard penises. Since penises are not sold in store, I got you the next best thing, dildos."
[The name mix up really happened as I was writing. I decided to roll with it.]
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CW: NSFW: DC Comics Deep Lore Addition
Lex Luthor: "HAHA! Behold Superman, with the powers of science, I've given myself Two Penises! One on me, and one on my wife! And with Two Penises, I'm Twice the Man you are!!"
Superman: *Drops his tight trunks to reveal what was beneath his bulge...*
Lex Luthor: "Holy shit what the fuck is that???"
Superman: "Why, my kryptonian triple-dick, of course."
Lex (rhymes with sex): "NOOO! FOILED AGAIN!!"
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CW: NSFW: DC Comics Deep Lore Addition
Lex Luthor: "HAHA! Behold Superman, with the powers of science, I've given myself Two Penises! One on me, and one on my wife! And with Two Penises, I'm Twice the Man you are!!"
Superman: *Drops his tight trunks to reveal what was beneath his bulge...*
Lex Luthor: "Holy shit what the fuck is that???"
Superman: "Why, my kryptonian triple-dick, of course."
Lex (rhymes with sex): "NOOO! FOILED AGAIN!!"
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Getting tired of all of these crypto bros trying to force everyone to use the blockchain in new and stupid ways. The very idea that we would make it a law that all men in the country need to put their penises on the blockchain isn't just unconstitutional, the very logistics are completely insane! Like bruh, you're saying a dude will have to make a transaction just to whip it out? What happens when someone inevitably injects code to steal all these penises that people have been forced to put on the blockchain under penalty of law?? No more penises because blockchain???
THE TECHBROS DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER, THEY ARE JUST PUSHING YET ANOTHER INSANE IDEA BECAUSE IT HAS BLOCKCHAIN IN IT!!
SAY NO TO BILLIONAIRE TECHBROS!!!
#Blockchain #Cockchain #TechBros #CryptoBros #Penises #KeepItInYourPants #KeepPenisesOffTheBlockchain #StopTheSteal #StopTheMindControlBallotBoxes
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Getting tired of all of these crypto bros trying to force everyone to use the blockchain in new and stupid ways. The very idea that we would make it a law that all men in the country need to put their penises on the blockchain isn't just unconstitutional, the very logistics are completely insane! Like bruh, you're saying a dude will have to make a transaction just to whip it out? What happens when someone inevitably injects code to steal all these penises that people have been forced to put on the blockchain under penalty of law?? No more penises because blockchain???
THE TECHBROS DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER, THEY ARE JUST PUSHING YET ANOTHER INSANE IDEA BECAUSE IT HAS BLOCKCHAIN IN IT!!
SAY NO TO BILLIONAIRE TECHBROS!!!
#Blockchain #Cockchain #TechBros #CryptoBros #Penises #KeepItInYourPants #KeepPenisesOffTheBlockchain #StopTheSteal #StopTheMindControlBallotBoxes
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🔥 PSA for men who cook: After you chop a chili pepper do not – I repeat, do not – go for a pee without washing your hands like your life depends on it.
Don’t ask me how I know. Just trust me when I say chilis and penises do not mix and this is definitely not the kind of fire you want in your pants.
Ow.
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🔥 PSA for men who cook: After you chop a chili pepper do not – I repeat, do not – go for a pee without washing your hands like your life depends on it.
Don’t ask me how I know. Just trust me when I say chilis and penises do not mix and this is definitely not the kind of fire you want in your pants.
Ow.
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CW: At least twenty penises and one Richard Nixon
Scenes from Day 8 of Iceland Trip (CW, NSFW)
There's some definitely extremely NSFW content here involving an uncharacteristically large number of dick pics. At least twenty.
https://www.wt8p.com/scenes-from-day-8-of-iceland-trip-cw-nsfw/
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Virginia “Gross Old Perverts” Party Official Displays a 16 Foot Penis Sign at Youth Baseball Game to Protest Woke
Virginia GOP Central Committee Representative Ron Hedlund displayed a massive penis sign with the words, "Biden Sucks" written across it at a youth baseball game at RF&P Park in
https://newsviews.online/2023/08/19/virginia-gross-old-perverts-party-official-displays-a-16-foot-penis-sign-at-youth-baseball-game-to-protest-woke/
#MAGAts #Deplorables #MAGAts #penises #Virginia -
Virginia “Gross Old Perverts” Party Official Displays a 16 Foot Penis Sign at Youth Baseball Game to Protest Woke
Virginia GOP Central Committee Representative Ron Hedlund displayed a massive penis sign with the words, "Biden Sucks" written across it at a youth baseball game at RF&P Park in
https://newsviews.online/2023/08/19/virginia-gross-old-perverts-party-official-displays-a-16-foot-penis-sign-at-youth-baseball-game-to-protest-woke/
#MAGAts #Deplorables #MAGAts #penises #Virginia -
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#Hateful #Bigot #RishiSunak accused of ‘#demonising’ trans #women as he’s #filmed making ‘#joke’ about #penises
#Tory #PM is also heard criticising #LibDem #leader’s #support for #transrights in leaked #video #footage
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #UK #Tories #TERFS #Hate #Bigotry #Discrimination #MoralPanic #HateSpeech #StochasticTerrorism #Hatecrimes #TERFIsland
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/rishi-sunak-trans-women-penises-b2360128.html
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#Hateful #Bigot #RishiSunak accused of ‘#demonising’ trans #women as he’s #filmed making ‘#joke’ about #penises
#Tory #PM is also heard criticising #LibDem #leader’s #support for #transrights in leaked #video #footage
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #UK #Tories #TERFS #Hate #Bigotry #Discrimination #MoralPanic #HateSpeech #StochasticTerrorism #Hatecrimes #TERFIsland
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/rishi-sunak-trans-women-penises-b2360128.html
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#HomeMinister #SuellaBraverman has been talking about #penises at a #rightwing #Christian #conference
#UK #PM #RishiSunak backed Braverman’s plans to speak at #NatCon, an event based on #evangelical #Christian #beliefs, which describes its #principles as supporting “the #traditionalfamily, built around a lifelong bond between a #man and a #woman
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #UK #Tories #Religion #Hate #Bigotry #Discrimination #Homophobia #Transphobia #EmptyThePews
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#HomeMinister #SuellaBraverman has been talking about #penises at a #rightwing #Christian #conference
#UK #PM #RishiSunak backed Braverman’s plans to speak at #NatCon, an event based on #evangelical #Christian #beliefs, which describes its #principles as supporting “the #traditionalfamily, built around a lifelong bond between a #man and a #woman
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #UK #Tories #Religion #Hate #Bigotry #Discrimination #Homophobia #Transphobia #EmptyThePews
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"#Trans #women will never be #free until #people stop having strong emotions about #penises. Like we, as a #society, have got to stop caring about dicks! #Dicks have to stop #symbolizing #maleness, #obviously, but they also have to stop symbolizing #power, #dominance, #sexual agency and #aggression, #violence, and even #sex itself. Like trans women can’t be free if the very conceptual presence of a penis represents an intrusion(!) of unwanted(!) sexuality(!) in public life. Like that’s why trans women are abhorrent to both #male #chauvinists and #radical #feminists, #because both groups have extremely strong feelings about what a penis *represents*, and find the conceptual and actual presence of a woman with a penis to be simultaneously vile and nonsensical because they’ve loaded so much symbolic baggage onto both women and penises.
Anyway dicks are totally neutral #body parts and seeing a dick, or a bulge in a swimsuit, or simply knowing that there’s a dick somewhere in the same bathroom as you isn’t harmful or violent"
https://www.tumblr.com/anarchistmemecollective/715340843899289600?source=share
