#pansexual — Public Fediverse posts

💗💜💙 Erzähl uns, was Bi+ für dich bedeutet.

Mit unserer Community-Befragung möchten wir mehr darüber erfahren, wie Bi+ Personen ihre Identität, Erfahrungen und Zugehörigkeiten erleben.

Es geht unter anderem um:
🌈 Community und Zugehörigkeit
💬 Coming-out und Sichtbarkeit
🧩 Verständnis von Männlichkeit und Maskulinität
🖤 Kink und Fetisch
🧠 Neurodivergenz
⚡ Diskriminierungserfahrungen
💞 Beziehungen, Bedarfe und Wünsche

Je nach deinen Antworten werden dir unterschiedliche Fragen angezeigt. Ein besonderer Schwerpunkt liegt auf Bi+ Männern* und maskulinen* Personen sowie Kink/Fetisch. Grundsätzlich richtet sich die Befragung aber an Bi+ Personen aller Geschlechter.

📝 anonym
⏱️ ca. 10–20 Minuten
🌈 für alle Geschlechter ab 18 Jahren
🇩🇪🇬🇧 auf Deutsch und Englisch möglich

👉 Link: https://www.soscisurvey.de/bi_plus_2026/

Danke, dass du mitmachst, teilst und Bi+ Lebensrealitäten sichtbarer machst! 💜

English Version *

💗💜💙 Tell us what Bi+ means to you.

With our community survey, we want to learn more about how Bi+ people experience their identities, realities and sense of belonging.

The survey includes topics such as:
🌈 community and belonging
💬 coming out and visibility
🧩 understandings of masculinity and masculinities
🖤 kink and fetish
🧠 neurodivergence
⚡ experiences of discrimination
💞 relationships, needs and wishes

Depending on your answers, different questions will be shown to you. One special focus is on Bi+ men* and masculine people as well as kink/fetish — but the survey is open to Bi+ people of all genders.

📝 anonymous
⏱️ about 10–20 minutes
🌈 all genders, 18+
🇩🇪🇬🇧 available in German and English

👉 Link: https://www.soscisurvey.de/bi_plus_2026/

Thank you for taking part, sharing the survey and helping make Bi+ realities more visible! 💜

#BiPlus #Bisexual #BiCommunity #BiVisibility #BiPride #Pansexual #Pan #QueerCommunity #LGBTQIA #QueerBerlin #Berlin #CommunitySurvey #BiBerlin #KinkCommunity #FetishCommunity #NeurodivergentQueers #ComingOut #Discrimination #Queer #Pride

It's hard to value myself when the identites important to me have been under fire. But that makes it even more important for me to stand out and embrace my existence, for when someone comes along who is scared like me. Thank you

#BeebzArt #TristeMiedo #fursona #pride #plural #disability #adhd #PuertoRican #Transgender #pansexual #nonbinary #fennboy #intersex

Are you naughty enough to take me on the balcony?

#australianescort #brisbaneescort #kinky #fetish #bdsm #nsfw #realnsfw #eroticphotography #sw #sugarbaby #findom #model #exhibitionist #public #publicplay #pawg #brunette @[email protected] @[email protected] #kinksky #nudesky #queer #pansexual

Here is a Tier Maker Template for Sexuality Pride Flags.

https://tiermaker.com/create/sexuality-pride-flags-15229977

11/x

#Panromantic #Pansexual #Bisexual #Lesbian #Gay #Bear #Polyamorous #Asexual #AroAce #Demisexual #Leather #Pony #Polysexual #Omnisexual #Aromantic #Demiromantic #Greyromantic #Greysexual #LGBTQ

Atha and Inara are in Colorado now, but are being sent letters from upset car loan and credit companies now, and the #urgentmutualaid #urgentcrowdfund #urgentmutualaidrequest #mutualaid post I made asking for $2000 is getting much more pressing. Please help! We really don't want to reach the stage of courts and bankruptcies and repossessions.

The Nissan Leaf is a necessary runabout, as there are many places such as food banks, potential workplaces and supermarkets where bringing a bus in is impractical, not to mention expensive to use as a commuting or shopping vehicle.

#donations please and help with #getfedihired please!

https://liberapay.com/athamanatha
https://PayPal.me/athamanatha
Cashapp $athamanatha
Venmo @Athamanatha
Visa+ +athamanatha.paypal
https://Ko-Fi.com/athakitsune (charges fees)
https://patreon.com/vulpinedesigns (charges fees)
Wise, IBAN, ACH, UK bank transfer, Throne, Xoom and Zelle available on request.

The good news is they have been able to meet up with a lot of cool folks who are pointing them towards help with other things than money, such as mechanical work, an address, IT and healthcare.

#lgbtqia #trans #queer #salmacian #nonbinary #pansexual #polyamorous #homeless #rebuildinglife #moneyhelp #help #fedihelp #helpfolkslive2025 #helpfolkssurvive2025 #helpfolkslive #helpfolkssurvive #basicneeds #debts #foodbank #travel #lendahelpinghand #communesandconvoys #communityspirit
#fuckcapitalism
#fucktrump
#fuckputin
#fuckmusk
#fuckproject2025
#endpoverty
#endhomelessness
#solarpunk #future

#MUTUALAID $0/450 #URGENT #EMERGENCYMUTUALAID #URGENTMUTUALAID #PASTDUE

Help a #trans #nonbinary #pansexual #salmacian #otherkin #kitsune to deal with life in this bullshit society a little longer.
Athamanatha is struggling to cover past-due #urgent car loan, credit card, car insurance and overdraft payments. These debts need to be caught up with to reduce the burden of fees and make it possible to afford food and #vulpibus fuel.

Please help hir to get on top of the problem! It is hard to think properly when under constant stress and fear of losing your #schoolie #skoolie vehicle which is also your home and/or losing your only runabout car to something as banal and bullshit as debt collectors or the cops spotting a lapse in insurance.

$450 would be a great start to take care of some of the immediate needs. Can we raise that today?

Cashapp $athamanatha
Venmo @Athamanatha
Visa+ +athamanatha.paypal
https://liberapay.com/athamanatha
https://paypal.me/athamanatha
https://patreon.com/vulpinedesigns
https://ko-fi.com/athakitsune
Zelle, Wise, ACH, IBAN, Throne and more available on request! Just DM so we can sort it out.

#transcrowdfund #sendhelpplease #fedihelp #helpfolkslive2025 #helpfolkssurvive #queer #fuckcapitalism #fucktrump #fuckinflation #fuckproject2025 #LGBTQIA #unemployable #communesandconvoys #labsonwheels #survival #financialhelp #money #moneyplease #donation #donate #crowdfund #crowdfunding #debt #payments #homeless #endhomelessness #buslife #lifeontheroad

testing tag colors

Also bin ich 50 #AMAB #Agender #Pansexual und #Demiromantic und zudem ein wunderbares #Einhorn

I want to find my people around here. Follow me if you relate to these hashtags and I will follow you back.

#Anarchism #Anarchy #Anarchist #Anarquismo #ancom #anarchocommunism #anarcocomunismo #anarcosindicalismo #anarchosyndicalism #AnarchoPunk

#portugal #portugues #portuguese

#veggie #vegetarian

#freepalestine #freecongo #palestine #palestina #congo

#leftist #leftism #leftists

#Feminism #Feminist #transfeminisme #transfeminismo #anarchafeminism #anarchatransfeminism #anarchoqueer

#lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqia #Queer #Trans #transrights #transgender #enby #enbypride #NonBinary #naobinarie #nãoBinariedade #bi #bisexual #pan #pansexual #sapphic #genderfluid #genderqueer

#nonmonogamy #relationalanarchy #polyamory #polyamour #polyamourous #ethicalnonmonogamy

#kink #kinky #kinkcommunity #kinkfriendly #bdsm #bdsmkink

#AntiFascism #Antifa #AntiFascist

#antiracism #decolonial #decolonize #indigenousrights

#Punk #metal #edm #techno #trance #funk #reggaeton #rap #hiphop

#anthropology #sociology #History #Philosophy #Politics #biology #socialsciences #Privacy #privacymatters #cybersecurity #forensic

#Ecology #ambient #ecologia

#bones #bonecollector #ostheology #death #morbid #mortuarypractices #mortuary #mortuaryscience #deathpositive #deathpositivity

#witch #occult #satanism

What does #Achillean mean in #LGBTQ+ #terminology?

Achillean refers to #men (or #male-#identifying #individuals) who are #attracted to other #men, but is used more like an #umbrellaterm for #gay, #bisexual, #pansexual, and otherwise #queer #men, and can include #trans and #nonbinary people who are also attracted to #men.

#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #SexualOrientation #Sexuality #Representation #Culture

https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/10/23/what-does-achillean-mean-in-lgbtq-terminology/

When Being Social Destroys You

This is the story of how a recent social event destroyed me.

I think my own unmasking as a voluntary aspect, and an involuntary one. For instance, I voluntarily stim in public, or leave events when I’ve had enough. However, I used to sleep full nights without any issue. I used to be reflux free. Yet, my sleep got progressively worse over the years, and I started getting reflux too. This involuntary unmasking started even before my cancer.

“Oh, but you don’t look autistic!”

If you are autistic, you know how much we love people to tell us that we don’t look the part of the autistic individual. No, we don’t have autistic tattooed on our forehead. Autism is mainly an internal condition that sometimes has an external manifestation. The fact that folks don’t see our internal condition does not make our autism any less troublesome.

Yesterday, I went to a monthly bi brunch. The place we usually went to is unavailable. So this event was held in a location I’m not very fond of. It is essentially a sports bar. As a sports bar, it is most likely a decent location, but I’m not into sports, so I don’t generally go to sports bars.

I had been there once before, for the same event. When I was there, one part of the bar was unusable due to ceiling issues. We ate in a part of the bar that is particularly awful for acoustics. Everything echoed pretty badly. There was also rather loud music playing. I had a hard time engaging in conversations. I vowed never to return, if I could help it.

Last month, the organizers decided to go to the same place. At that time, true to my vow, I decided to skip. I explained my reasoning to other people, but I did not come up with an alternate location. Being autistic, it is not like I tend to go out a lot. Oh, I do go out, but I tend to go to places that I already know.

Your Autistic Life is supported by readers like you. Use one of the links below to support my writing! Thank you.

This month, I decided to go against my vow and to go again. I do like to see people, so I figured I’d grin and bear it. This time, the area of the bar that had been closed previously was actually opened, and we did eat there. Acoustically, this was a better deal than the other half of the bar. This aspect of the event was better than I had anticipated.

However, the food was still not what I was really looking for. Don’t get me wrong, the food I ordered tasted fine, but this food is fine for a sports bar. Sports bar food is not what I am after. The food, however, is not the only problem I experienced.

During the event, I felt totally fine. One of the organizers kept checking on me from time to time, and every time I answered truthfully that I was doing fine. The event coincided with the local pride parade, so people were asking me if I’d walk in the parade or watch it. I answered no to both questions, while still leaving open the idea that I’d watch it.

In retrospect, I’m bloody glad I did not walk, or even watch the parade. See, I was not fine, but I wouldn’t discover this until after I came back home. I was able to take the subway, and to drive myself from the subway station to my apartment. However, as soon as I entered my apartment, I crashed, hard. I spent the rest of the day fuzzy-headed. I took a 30-minute nap. It was helpful, but not enough.

Now, the day after, I’m trying to figure out what hammered me so much. I was at the brunch for maybe one hour 30 minutes. I’ve been to longer events before. Heck, the same group holds monthly bi board games, and I don’t typically come back hammered from those events. They easily last twice or three times as long as the time I spent at the bi brunch.

My top theory right now is that it is the combination of location, and having to socialize with an entire slew of newcomers that did me in. Some of them had been to the event before, but I had not met them. At any rate, this amounted to the same for me, since they were new to me. We were around 30 folks, if my math is accurate. There were a lot of conversations occurring all around me. My hearing ability is such that I easily get confused when there are too many conversations going all at once.

At first, I thought it was just the sheer number of people that did me in, but I don’t think so. I used to be able to go to conferences with many more people without any trouble. I’ve more recently been at events of easily over 100 people, without crashing afterwards. I think the difference is that at the conferences, and the recent events, I did not have to socialize. So it is having to socialize with so many people in a subpar location that is the problem.

I’ve crashed before like this, but I’ve never previously done a postmortem that takes my autism into account. This is the first time that I link the two. As I mentioned above, there is an involuntary aspect to my unmasking, and perhaps the fact that I have a harder time with social events is part of this involuntary unmasking.

What should I have done differently to avoid crashing? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all. For sure, if I had not gone, I wouldn’t have crashed. Still, I like to see people. So what should I have done at the event to avoid crashing. Maybe I should have taken one of the small booths to avoid the crowd. Also, at some point, there was a little voice in my head asking whether I should go back home early. I decided to ignore it, but maybe I should have listened to it.

I felt fine during the event, and I’m sure I appeared mostly fine to other people. This is the irony, if you will, of autism. You appear fine, but your nervous system is in overdrive, trying to process everything happening around you. It is later that you have to pay for the time that your nervous system was in overdrive.

Don’t get me wrong. I was glad to be there, but I’m trying to figure out how to have my fun without paying for it dearly afterwards. Being exhausted like I was after one hour and thirty minutes of socializing is not normal. How can I avoid this cost? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know that some of it is on me and my ability to listen to my own needs.

Now, I know that some of my neurodivergent siblings have an even harder time than I do with socializing. When you design events without taking our needs into account, you are effectively excluding us. I know that you are not deciding that autistic people are not welcome. However, through self-selection, autistic people decide to not go, and your community is the poorer for it.

I have an event today too. This one is for autistic people, and it is held in a conference room in a library. It will easily last twice as long as the event yesterday, but I expect to come out of it without crashing.

#autism #autistic #AutisticWriters #bisexual #crashing #inclusivity #pansexual #SocialEvents #socializing #unmasking #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/06/09/when-being-social-destroys-you/

When Being Social Destroys You

This is the story of how a recent social event destroyed me.

I think my own unmasking as a voluntary aspect, and an involuntary one. For instance, I voluntarily stim in public, or leave events when I’ve had enough. However, I used to sleep full nights without any issue. I used to be reflux free. Yet, my sleep got progressively worse over the years, and I started getting reflux too. This involuntary unmasking started even before my cancer.

“Oh, but you don’t look autistic!”

If you are autistic, you know how much we love people to tell us that we don’t look the part of the autistic individual. No, we don’t have autistic tattooed on our forehead. Autism is mainly an internal condition that sometimes has an external manifestation. The fact that folks don’t see our internal condition does not make our autism any less troublesome.

Yesterday, I went to a monthly bi brunch. The place we usually went to is unavailable. So this event was held in a location I’m not very fond of. It is essentially a sports bar. As a sports bar, it is most likely a decent location, but I’m not into sports, so I don’t generally go to sports bars.

I had been there once before, for the same event. When I was there, one part of the bar was unusable due to ceiling issues. We ate in a part of the bar that is particularly awful for acoustics. Everything echoed pretty badly. There was also rather loud music playing. I had a hard time engaging in conversations. I vowed never to return, if I could help it.

Last month, the organizers decided to go to the same place. At that time, true to my vow, I decided to skip. I explained my reasoning to other people, but I did not come up with an alternate location. Being autistic, it is not like I tend to go out a lot. Oh, I do go out, but I tend to go to places that I already know.

Your Autistic Life is supported by readers like you. Use one of the links below to support my writing! Thank you.

This month, I decided to go against my vow and to go again. I do like to see people, so I figured I’d grin and bear it. This time, the area of the bar that had been closed previously was actually opened, and we did eat there. Acoustically, this was a better deal than the other half of the bar. This aspect of the event was better than I had anticipated.

However, the food was still not what I was really looking for. Don’t get me wrong, the food I ordered tasted fine, but this food is fine for a sports bar. Sports bar food is not what I am after. The food, however, is not the only problem I experienced.

During the event, I felt totally fine. One of the organizers kept checking on me from time to time, and every time I answered truthfully that I was doing fine. The event coincided with the local pride parade, so people were asking me if I’d walk in the parade or watch it. I answered no to both questions, while still leaving open the idea that I’d watch it.

In retrospect, I’m bloody glad I did not walk, or even watch the parade. See, I was not fine, but I wouldn’t discover this until after I came back home. I was able to take the subway, and to drive myself from the subway station to my apartment. However, as soon as I entered my apartment, I crashed, hard. I spent the rest of the day fuzzy-headed. I took a 30-minute nap. It was helpful, but not enough.

Now, the day after, I’m trying to figure out what hammered me so much. I was at the brunch for maybe one hour 30 minutes. I’ve been to longer events before. Heck, the same group holds monthly bi board games, and I don’t typically come back hammered from those events. They easily last twice or three times as long as the time I spent at the bi brunch.

My top theory right now is that it is the combination of location, and having to socialize with an entire slew of newcomers that did me in. Some of them had been to the event before, but I had not met them. At any rate, this amounted to the same for me, since they were new to me. We were around 30 folks, if my math is accurate. There were a lot of conversations occurring all around me. My hearing ability is such that I easily get confused when there are too many conversations going all at once.

At first, I thought it was just the sheer number of people that did me in, but I don’t think so. I used to be able to go to conferences with many more people without any trouble. I’ve more recently been at events of easily over 100 people, without crashing afterwards. I think the difference is that at the conferences, and the recent events, I did not have to socialize. So it is having to socialize with so many people in a subpar location that is the problem.

I’ve crashed before like this, but I’ve never previously done a postmortem that takes my autism into account. This is the first time that I link the two. As I mentioned above, there is an involuntary aspect to my unmasking, and perhaps the fact that I have a harder time with social events is part of this involuntary unmasking.

What should I have done differently to avoid crashing? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all. For sure, if I had not gone, I wouldn’t have crashed. Still, I like to see people. So what should I have done at the event to avoid crashing. Maybe I should have taken one of the small booths to avoid the crowd. Also, at some point, there was a little voice in my head asking whether I should go back home early. I decided to ignore it, but maybe I should have listened to it.

I felt fine during the event, and I’m sure I appeared mostly fine to other people. This is the irony, if you will, of autism. You appear fine, but your nervous system is in overdrive, trying to process everything happening around you. It is later that you have to pay for the time that your nervous system was in overdrive.

Don’t get me wrong. I was glad to be there, but I’m trying to figure out how to have my fun without paying for it dearly afterwards. Being exhausted like I was after one hour and thirty minutes of socializing is not normal. How can I avoid this cost? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know that some of it is on me and my ability to listen to my own needs.

Now, I know that some of my neurodivergent siblings have an even harder time than I do with socializing. When you design events without taking our needs into account, you are effectively excluding us. I know that you are not deciding that autistic people are not welcome. However, through self-selection, autistic people decide to not go, and your community is the poorer for it.

I have an event today too. This one is for autistic people, and it is held in a conference room in a library. It will easily last twice as long as the event yesterday, but I expect to come out of it without crashing.

#autism #autistic #AutisticWriters #bisexual #crashing #inclusivity #pansexual #SocialEvents #socializing #unmasking #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/06/09/when-being-social-destroys-you/

When Being Social Destroys You

This is the story of how a recent social event destroyed me.

I think my own unmasking as a voluntary aspect, and an involuntary one. For instance, I voluntarily stim in public, or leave events when I’ve had enough. However, I used to sleep full nights without any issue. I used to be reflux free. Yet, my sleep got progressively worse over the years, and I started getting reflux too. This involuntary unmasking started even before my cancer.

“Oh, but you don’t look autistic!”

If you are autistic, you know how much we love people to tell us that we don’t look the part of the autistic individual. No, we don’t have autistic tattooed on our forehead. Autism is mainly an internal condition that sometimes has an external manifestation. The fact that folks don’t see our internal condition does not make our autism any less troublesome.

Yesterday, I went to a monthly bi brunch. The place we usually went to is unavailable. So this event was held in a location I’m not very fond of. It is essentially a sports bar. As a sports bar, it is most likely a decent location, but I’m not into sports, so I don’t generally go to sports bars.

I had been there once before, for the same event. When I was there, one part of the bar was unusable due to ceiling issues. We ate in a part of the bar that is particularly awful for acoustics. Everything echoed pretty badly. There was also rather loud music playing. I had a hard time engaging in conversations. I vowed never to return, if I could help it.

Last month, the organizers decided to go to the same place. At that time, true to my vow, I decided to skip. I explained my reasoning to other people, but I did not come up with an alternate location. Being autistic, it is not like I tend to go out a lot. Oh, I do go out, but I tend to go to places that I already know.

Your Autistic Life is supported by readers like you. Use one of the links below to support my writing! Thank you.

This month, I decided to go against my vow and to go again. I do like to see people, so I figured I’d grin and bear it. This time, the area of the bar that had been closed previously was actually opened, and we did eat there. Acoustically, this was a better deal than the other half of the bar. This aspect of the event was better than I had anticipated.

However, the food was still not what I was really looking for. Don’t get me wrong, the food I ordered tasted fine, but this food is fine for a sports bar. Sports bar food is not what I am after. The food, however, is not the only problem I experienced.

During the event, I felt totally fine. One of the organizers kept checking on me from time to time, and every time I answered truthfully that I was doing fine. The event coincided with the local pride parade, so people were asking me if I’d walk in the parade or watch it. I answered no to both questions, while still leaving open the idea that I’d watch it.

In retrospect, I’m bloody glad I did not walk, or even watch the parade. See, I was not fine, but I wouldn’t discover this until after I came back home. I was able to take the subway, and to drive myself from the subway station to my apartment. However, as soon as I entered my apartment, I crashed, hard. I spent the rest of the day fuzzy-headed. I took a 30-minute nap. It was helpful, but not enough.

Now, the day after, I’m trying to figure out what hammered me so much. I was at the brunch for maybe one hour 30 minutes. I’ve been to longer events before. Heck, the same group holds monthly bi board games, and I don’t typically come back hammered from those events. They easily last twice or three times as long as the time I spent at the bi brunch.

My top theory right now is that it is the combination of location, and having to socialize with an entire slew of newcomers that did me in. Some of them had been to the event before, but I had not met them. At any rate, this amounted to the same for me, since they were new to me. We were around 30 folks, if my math is accurate. There were a lot of conversations occurring all around me. My hearing ability is such that I easily get confused when there are too many conversations going all at once.

At first, I thought it was just the sheer number of people that did me in, but I don’t think so. I used to be able to go to conferences with many more people without any trouble. I’ve more recently been at events of easily over 100 people, without crashing afterwards. I think the difference is that at the conferences, and the recent events, I did not have to socialize. So it is having to socialize with so many people in a subpar location that is the problem.

I’ve crashed before like this, but I’ve never previously done a postmortem that takes my autism into account. This is the first time that I link the two. As I mentioned above, there is an involuntary aspect to my unmasking, and perhaps the fact that I have a harder time with social events is part of this involuntary unmasking.

What should I have done differently to avoid crashing? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all. For sure, if I had not gone, I wouldn’t have crashed. Still, I like to see people. So what should I have done at the event to avoid crashing. Maybe I should have taken one of the small booths to avoid the crowd. Also, at some point, there was a little voice in my head asking whether I should go back home early. I decided to ignore it, but maybe I should have listened to it.

I felt fine during the event, and I’m sure I appeared mostly fine to other people. This is the irony, if you will, of autism. You appear fine, but your nervous system is in overdrive, trying to process everything happening around you. It is later that you have to pay for the time that your nervous system was in overdrive.

Don’t get me wrong. I was glad to be there, but I’m trying to figure out how to have my fun without paying for it dearly afterwards. Being exhausted like I was after one hour and thirty minutes of socializing is not normal. How can I avoid this cost? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know that some of it is on me and my ability to listen to my own needs.

Now, I know that some of my neurodivergent siblings have an even harder time than I do with socializing. When you design events without taking our needs into account, you are effectively excluding us. I know that you are not deciding that autistic people are not welcome. However, through self-selection, autistic people decide to not go, and your community is the poorer for it.

I have an event today too. This one is for autistic people, and it is held in a conference room in a library. It will easily last twice as long as the event yesterday, but I expect to come out of it without crashing.

#autism #autistic #AutisticWriters #bisexual #crashing #inclusivity #pansexual #SocialEvents #socializing #unmasking #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/06/09/when-being-social-destroys-you/

When Being Social Destroys You

This is the story of how a recent social event destroyed me.

I think my own unmasking as a voluntary aspect, and an involuntary one. For instance, I voluntarily stim in public, or leave events when I’ve had enough. However, I used to sleep full nights without any issue. I used to be reflux free. Yet, my sleep got progressively worse over the years, and I started getting reflux too. This involuntary unmasking started even before my cancer.

“Oh, but you don’t look autistic!”

If you are autistic, you know how much we love people to tell us that we don’t look the part of the autistic individual. No, we don’t have autistic tattooed on our forehead. Autism is mainly an internal condition that sometimes has an external manifestation. The fact that folks don’t see our internal condition does not make our autism any less troublesome.

Yesterday, I went to a monthly bi brunch. The place we usually went to is unavailable. So this event was held in a location I’m not very fond of. It is essentially a sports bar. As a sports bar, it is most likely a decent location, but I’m not into sports, so I don’t generally go to sports bars.

I had been there once before, for the same event. When I was there, one part of the bar was unusable due to ceiling issues. We ate in a part of the bar that is particularly awful for acoustics. Everything echoed pretty badly. There was also rather loud music playing. I had a hard time engaging in conversations. I vowed never to return, if I could help it.

Last month, the organizers decided to go to the same place. At that time, true to my vow, I decided to skip. I explained my reasoning to other people, but I did not come up with an alternate location. Being autistic, it is not like I tend to go out a lot. Oh, I do go out, but I tend to go to places that I already know.

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This month, I decided to go against my vow and to go again. I do like to see people, so I figured I’d grin and bear it. This time, the area of the bar that had been closed previously was actually opened, and we did eat there. Acoustically, this was a better deal than the other half of the bar. This aspect of the event was better than I had anticipated.

However, the food was still not what I was really looking for. Don’t get me wrong, the food I ordered tasted fine, but this food is fine for a sports bar. Sports bar food is not what I am after. The food, however, is not the only problem I experienced.

During the event, I felt totally fine. One of the organizers kept checking on me from time to time, and every time I answered truthfully that I was doing fine. The event coincided with the local pride parade, so people were asking me if I’d walk in the parade or watch it. I answered no to both questions, while still leaving open the idea that I’d watch it.

In retrospect, I’m bloody glad I did not walk, or even watch the parade. See, I was not fine, but I wouldn’t discover this until after I came back home. I was able to take the subway, and to drive myself from the subway station to my apartment. However, as soon as I entered my apartment, I crashed, hard. I spent the rest of the day fuzzy-headed. I took a 30-minute nap. It was helpful, but not enough.

Now, the day after, I’m trying to figure out what hammered me so much. I was at the brunch for maybe one hour 30 minutes. I’ve been to longer events before. Heck, the same group holds monthly bi board games, and I don’t typically come back hammered from those events. They easily last twice or three times as long as the time I spent at the bi brunch.

My top theory right now is that it is the combination of location, and having to socialize with an entire slew of newcomers that did me in. Some of them had been to the event before, but I had not met them. At any rate, this amounted to the same for me, since they were new to me. We were around 30 folks, if my math is accurate. There were a lot of conversations occurring all around me. My hearing ability is such that I easily get confused when there are too many conversations going all at once.

At first, I thought it was just the sheer number of people that did me in, but I don’t think so. I used to be able to go to conferences with many more people without any trouble. I’ve more recently been at events of easily over 100 people, without crashing afterwards. I think the difference is that at the conferences, and the recent events, I did not have to socialize. So it is having to socialize with so many people in a subpar location that is the problem.

I’ve crashed before like this, but I’ve never previously done a postmortem that takes my autism into account. This is the first time that I link the two. As I mentioned above, there is an involuntary aspect to my unmasking, and perhaps the fact that I have a harder time with social events is part of this involuntary unmasking.

What should I have done differently to avoid crashing? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all. For sure, if I had not gone, I wouldn’t have crashed. Still, I like to see people. So what should I have done at the event to avoid crashing. Maybe I should have taken one of the small booths to avoid the crowd. Also, at some point, there was a little voice in my head asking whether I should go back home early. I decided to ignore it, but maybe I should have listened to it.

I felt fine during the event, and I’m sure I appeared mostly fine to other people. This is the irony, if you will, of autism. You appear fine, but your nervous system is in overdrive, trying to process everything happening around you. It is later that you have to pay for the time that your nervous system was in overdrive.

Don’t get me wrong. I was glad to be there, but I’m trying to figure out how to have my fun without paying for it dearly afterwards. Being exhausted like I was after one hour and thirty minutes of socializing is not normal. How can I avoid this cost? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know that some of it is on me and my ability to listen to my own needs.

Now, I know that some of my neurodivergent siblings have an even harder time than I do with socializing. When you design events without taking our needs into account, you are effectively excluding us. I know that you are not deciding that autistic people are not welcome. However, through self-selection, autistic people decide to not go, and your community is the poorer for it.

I have an event today too. This one is for autistic people, and it is held in a conference room in a library. It will easily last twice as long as the event yesterday, but I expect to come out of it without crashing.

#autism #autistic #AutisticWriters #bisexual #crashing #inclusivity #pansexual #SocialEvents #socializing #unmasking #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/06/09/when-being-social-destroys-you/

#NBCUniversal is set to celebrate #PrideMonth with release of a #nature #documentary exploring #diversity of #AnimalSexuality.

#QueerPlanet looks into #SexualBehaviors & #gender expressions in the #AnimalKingdom. From #pansexual primates to #SexChanging clownfish, the documentary showcases extraordinary creatures. The series aims to challenge traditional concepts of what is considered natural regarding #sex & gender, presenting insights from #Scientific experts.

https://www.onegreenplanet.org/animals/upcoming-nature-documentary-on-peacock-to-celebrate-queer-animals/

#Overwatch2's New #Hunky #Thai #Scientist #Healer Is #pansexual

Watch your backs, heroes: there’s a new #powerhouse in town, and he’s the most #pansexual person you’ve ever met.

#LGBTQIA #Entertainment #Gaming #Gamers #Gaymers #Representation #Culture https://www.them.us/story/overwatch-lifeweaver-pansexual

On one hand, I feel like she's gotta know about her own queer fandom at this point, but on the other hand, we can never underestimate the extent to which celebrities (and the wealthy in general) are out of touch with the rest of the world.

https://twitter.com/LuxAlptraum/status/1621298156204875777/

#socialmedia #twitter #gilliananderson #queer #sapphic #lesbian #bisexual #pansexual #queerwomen #lesbians #sapphics #bisexualwomen #pansexualwomen #celebrities #richpeople