#nosatire — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #nosatire, aggregated by home.social.
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You know, if you taxed the people who make 250K to 250B properly...
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"So, what kind of social security system will we put into place?"
"I think John's suggestion is too nice."
"How come?"
"Well, if we implement it, people will be too comfortable, you know."
"Oh?"
"Yes, we should implement Bill's suggestion."
"Why?"
"It provides just the right level between being comfortable, and being scared shitless about one's future."
"Hmm..."
"We can't allow people to be too comfortable, you know. Otherwise, they might not accept the terrible conditions we offer for housing, food, and work."
"I see."
"I think we're done here. Let's go hunt peasants."
"Jolly good!"
#capitalism #SocialSecurity #comfort #ScaredShitless #housing #food #work #peasants #JollyGood #NoSatire
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"'This money is not bringing me a lot of happiness’: My husband and I have $7 million, but our kids are trouble. Should we cut them off?"
MaketWatch is really focusing on the plight of ordinary Americans here.
Yep...
:holdthepain:
#USNews #millionaire #children #OrdinaryFolks #NoSatire #MarketWatch
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"Gay Republican complains about not getting LGBTQ+ org’s endorsement despite anti-trans statements"
😩
So... you want a medal because you're a man who likes other men?
Did you forget the meaning of T in LGBTQ+?
:headache:
Let me break it to you: you're a shitbag, period.
#USNews #USPol #Republican #lgbtq #transphobia #trans #endorsement #shitbag #NoSatire
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"We Have To Admit That These Are The Best Donuts In The US"
How did this work? They went through all the donuts shop in the US, tasted all the donuts, and then declared which were the best?
I know. This is an impossible task, but journalists cannot help themselves with their bullshit clickbaity headlines, can they?
:why:
#BestDonuts #journalists #journalism #bullshit #clickbait #impossible #Flipboard #NoSatire
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"Uncontacted Amazon tribe photographed in unusual sighting near logging area"
:catthinking:
"Uncontacted" you say?
I don't talk often about this, but on my path from my bachelor's degree in computer engineering to my master's in South Asia studies, I did a detour through art, and anthropology.
I remember how my anthropology teacher talked about supposedly "uncontacted" tribes of the Amazon that so-and-so had "found."
The "uncontacted" bit turned out to be hogwash. They were uncontacted only if you ignored all the other folks with whom they had regular contact.
:holdthepain:
I put this into the same category as Columbus "discovering" America.
Journalists... so gullible...
:headache:
#AmazonTribe #AmazonRiver #uncontacted #hogwash #anthropology #discovery #journalism #journalists #gullible #NoSatire
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"'Butter Bath Corn' Is the Only Way to Cook Corn This Summer"
From the article:
"It’s impossible to read “butter bath corn” and not immediately want to make it."
:catthinking:
Well. Watch me do the impossible. I don't want to make this recipe, now or ever.
#corn #ButterBathCorn #impossible #NoSatire
https://www.cubbyathome.com/butter-bath-corn-recipe-love-letter-80038623
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"Couple drowns in rip current while on vacation with their kids in Florida"
😭
These people did not have to die. If you listen to the news piece, you'll learn that they just did not know how to handle a rip current.
Don't fight it!
Don't FUCKING fight it!
You let the current take you out. Then you swim parallel to the shore, and when you're far enough you can swim back to the shore.
They did not have to drown...
#USNews #Florida #drowning #death #RipCurrent #NoSatire #serious
https://abcnews.go.com/US/video/couple-drowns-rip-current-vacation-kids-florida-111307495
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"New Mexico’s ‘Earthships’ offer unique model for living off the grid"
The honeymoon of my ex-wife and me was in New Mexico.
Guess what?
We stayed in a couple of Earthships. It was nice.
#earthships #NewMexico #OffTheGrid #honeymoon #NoSatire
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/new-mexicos-earthships-offer-unique-model-for-living-off-the-grid
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"TikToker Fired for Unapologetically Using N-Word: 'Thanks Black Community for Helping to Launch My New Career in Conservative Media'"
Subtitle:
"Trad-wife influencer Llddis defended her use of the n-word in a new post, saying it's a First Amendment right."
LIddis (sic) does not understand what the Bill of Rights does. It protects you from *government* action. That's it. Her employer is not the government, then the First Amendment does not apply.
You know what's also part of the First Amendment besides Free Speech? The Right of Association, which all courts in the US have interpreted as also being a right of disassociation. If her employer wants to disassociate with her, they can.
I guess they don't want to be associated with an asshole.
#USNews #USPol #USLaw #FirstAmendment #BillOfRights #asshole #TikTok #NoSatire
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"In sweeping change, Biden administration to ban medical debt from credit reports"
That's another band-aid. How about we just abolish medical debt altogether, eh?
"Doctor, the patient is dying."
"Oh, have them take two aspirins. If the situation does not improve, they can call me back tomorrow."
#USNews #USPol #JoeBiden #MedicalDebt #CreditReport #NoSatire
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"Boy Scouts of America announces new gender-neutral name – and conservatives aren’t taking it well"
I'm happy with this decision. I was a boy scout, in Canada. I don't see why the whole thing needs to be gendered in the first place.
I do support the conservatives' right to boycott the organization. More fun for the rest of us.
#USNews #USPol #FuckingConservatives #Conservatives #BoyScoutsOfAmerica #GenderBinary #GenderNeutral #NoSatire
https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/05/08/boy-scouts-of-america-rebrand/
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"Indiana universities can revoke tenure if profs don't foster 'intellectual diversity'"
😩
This is, again, Republican trying to ram their idiotic point of views down the throat of intelligent people.
"The universe is billions of years old. We kn..."
"The Earth is 6000 years old. You're not fostering intellectual diversity with your insistence that you are right and we are wrong! Out with you!"
#USNews #USPol #Republicans #Indiana #IntellectualDiversity #idiots #NoSatire
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"Instagram censors sweet photo of gay dads holding newborn for ‘graphic’ and ‘upsetting’ content"
:headache:
Upsetting to whom? Homophobes, that's who. Idiots!
#USNews #Instagram #cencorship #graphic #upsetting #NoSatire #gay #queer #homophobia
https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/03/15/gay-dads-censored-instagram/
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"'Message has been received': Biden's campaign reacts to 'uncommitted' votes"
NPR completely dropped the ball here. Mitch Landrieu first says that the message has been received, but then he continues with this platitude:
"We're going to continue to talk to them and then ask them to think about the choices and what the consequences are about electing somebody who wants to have a Muslim ban, electing somebody who is going to be much, much worse than the difficult circumstances that we have right now."
:why:
This is the same bloody reheated bullshit that the Democrats have been peddling for ages. Every time you criticize them on any of their stupid policies: "well, the other side is worse!!!"
If the Democrats lose the next election, they'll only have themselves to blame. (But you can be sure that they're going to blame "all the things," except themselves. It is going to be a repeat of what happened in the past.)
#USNews #USPol #NPR #JoeBiden #MichiganPrimary #Democrats #Gaza #NoSatire
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"A Michigan computer science major says he sent out 456 internship applications and only got 3 offers"
The kid finally got an offer, but that's after 456 applications.
:catthinking:
This kid is the best placed to get a job. He's young. He's naive. However, he has to send 456 applications.
What are my chances? Offices are awful for #autistic people. (Interesting tidbit: I need a couple of naps during the day. I don't know of an office environment that would allow this, and that's only one of my issues.)
Add to this the fact that my experience at this point is both underqualified and overqualified, due to my complex background.
:hide_the_pain_harold:
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"Biden Condemned By Democratic Members of Congress Amid U.S. Bombing of Yemen: ‘Have NOT Been Authorized By Congress’"
Another self-inflicted wound by our great Democratic President.
Yes, Republicans stink.
But stop pretending that the Democrats don't stink either.
(If you feel the need to contradict me, don't bother. Do us a favor and block me immediately.)
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"Shelter feared cat wouldn’t survive. Man ‘fell in love with’ her and ‘waited patiently’"
Sorry. No satire about this one. Just a story that pulls at my heart strings. 😭
#USNews #cats #shelter #heartwarming #NoSatire
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article283832758.html