#normalislandnews — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #normalislandnews, aggregated by home.social.
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Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
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Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
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Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
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Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
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Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
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Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
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Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
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Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
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Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
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Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
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@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
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@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
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@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
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@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
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@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
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Normal Island News
Conspiracy theorists insist aliens aren't real as President Trump releases UFO files
For months, I’ve been telling you lot that UFO disclosure is coming. Now that it has finally arrived, the people who wear tinfoil hats while eating their breakfast cereal are suddenly Dana Scully. Even manosphere thought leader Joe Rogan is sceptical of Trump’s declassification blitz
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Normal Island News
Keir Starmer stunned to discover local elections were held yesterday
A furious Sir Keir Starmer has demanded answers after hearing the news that local elections were held yesterday, despite his personal decision to postpone them. A search party is now desperately trying to locate the Labour heartlands that he has so carelessly misplaced.
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Normal Island News
SHOCKING SCANDAL: Zack Polanski changed his name in 2002 to avoid a £3.50 library fine
Millions of impressionable voters will soon be heading to the polls, dreaming of saving the planet, hugging trees, and finally getting proportional representation. Their inspiration is the charismatic supervillain who currently goes by the name of Zack Polanski. Who knows what he will be called tomorrow?
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Normal Island News
I don't wish to alarm you, but Fox News says Iran has "kamikaze dolphins" strapped with explosive vests
In a bombshell exclusive from our friends at Fox News,it has been revealed that Iranian kamikaze dolphins have not only closed the Strait of Hormuz with underwater mines, but have crossed the Atlantic. They are now operating freely in American coastal waters where they pose an existential threat to the US mainland.
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Normal Island News
Israel intercepts flotilla near Crete to save Palestinian children from food and medicine
Israel says it has intercepted a flotilla of 22 boats near Crete and detained 178 terrorists under suspicion of attempting to supply food and medicine to Palestinian children. The interception took place in international waters, but maritime law states that Israel has the right to do piracy anywhere in the world.
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Brave #Israeli armed forces again heroically attacked ships of unarmed civilians in international waters, near #Crete. #GlobalSumudFotilla
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#Gaza #Palestine #NormalIslandNews #satire -
Normal Island News
King Charles and President Trump to set up "new Epstein Island" with retirement home for Prince Andrew
King Charles and President Trump have announced a landmark transatlantic partnership to establish Little St James 2 — a tax-payer funded paradise for Prince Andrew and any other embarrassing family members who need to be kept out of public view, as well as scandal-hit billionaires who need to avoid police investigations.
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Normal Island News
Trump cancels all assassination attempts this week as mark of respect for King Charles
President Trump has cancelled all further assassination attempts that were scheduled for this week as a mark of respect for the visiting King Charles. I’m sure you will be relieved to know that both men will get through the week unscathed.
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Normal Island News
807% of Americans think Trump staged assassination attempt so he could build a ballroom
In a stunning new poll conducted by NIN, it was revealed that 807% of Americans have rejected Trump’s latest piece of carefully crafted propaganda. In the past, presidents used to get away with lying, but thanks to social media, Trump just keeps getting caught out. It’s infuriating.
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Normal Island News
Huge relief as America's no. 1 rapist, paedophile, and war criminal survives another shooting
Americans sighed in relief after their most popular rapist, paedophile, and war criminal survived a shooting at the White House Correspondent’s dinner, last night. The assassin shot and injured a police officer, but thankfully no rich people were harmed in this production, and I’m told that Trump’s ears were unscathed. Thank god.
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Normal Island News
President Trump died yesterday, but don't worry, he came back like Jesus
Yesterday, the American people were plunged into mourning as the greatest president since Sleepy Joe Biden died during a policy briefing. They could only watch in horror as the president’s eyes closed and his head tilted 37 degrees and the briefing continued like no one had noticed. It was the worst sequel to Weekend At Bernie’s imaginable.
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Normal Island News
President Trump heroically saves eight AI-generated women from execution in Iran
It’s fair to say that President Trump was in desperate need of some good PR because the Iran war was not exactly going to plan.America’s foremost rapist got off to a terrible start when he blew up an all-girls’ school.He then mistakenly threatened to destroy an entire civilisation,before remembering he is supposed to be the liberator of women. -
Normal Island News
Britain left leaderless after Sir Keir Starmer does not resign as prime minister
In a stunning turn of events, Sir Keir Starmer has left the nation leaderless after he failed to offer his resignation as prime minister. As a result, we are now in the same position we have been in for the last 21 months, with no one bothering to govern the country and everyone else taking the blame for the prime minister’s shortcomings.
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Normal Island News
Palantir publishes manifesto and unveils K-800 “Democracy Enforcer” prototype
In an unusual move for a corporation that we all thought was focused on philanthropy, Palantir Technologies has published its plans for global domination.
In a viral Twitter post, everyone’s favourite AI company unveiled its 22-point manifesto which reads like a digital Mein Kampf for Ketamine users who wear Patagonia vests.
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Keir Starmer says he had no idea he was prime minister when Peter Mandelson was hired as ambassador
In a stunning admission, Sir Keir Starmer has revealed he had absolutely no clue he was prime minister when his old friend Peter Mandelson was appointed as ambassador to the US, last year.
“I was absolutely furious to discover I’d been prime minister for the last 21 months,” Starmer told a bewildered press conference outside Downing Street.
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“I was absolutely furious to discover I’d been prime minister for the last 21 months,” #Starmer told a bewildered press conference outside Downing Street. “Frankly, I’m baffled. Given that I haven’t made a single governing decision in that time, it came as a great shock when everyone started blaming me for hiring the Prince of Darkness.”
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Normal Island News
President Trump warns Cuba just two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
Since losing the war in Iran, President Trump has been desperately searching for a war he can win to boost his approval ratings. His first choice of Greenland hit the unfortunate snag of being owned by a NATO country, so he has been looking for an easier target, preferably an island with lots of attractive females.
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Normal Island News
Viktor Orbán crushed in Hungarian election after JD Vance's "helpful" endorsement somehow tanked his campaign
In a deeply upsetting moment for fascists everywhere, Viktor Orbán’s 16-year reign of terror came to a shuddering halt after his Fidesz party suffered a humiliating landslide defeat in Hungary’s parliamentary elections on Sunday.
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Normal Island News
Netanyahu relieved as peace talks collapse at "perfect moment", just before his corruption trial was set to resume
Benjamin Netanyahu is said to be delighted that peace talks between Iran and the US have collapsed, just as his corruption trial was set to resume. The Israeli prime minister is hopeful that his trial can once again be postponed on the basis that he is dead, I mean preoccupied by the war.
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Normal Island News
Israel hugely concerned that ceasefire could lead to outbreak of peace in the Middle East
Benjamin Netanyahu has strongly objected to the “double-sided” ceasefire that the US has agreed with Iran. The Israeli prime minister said that expecting both sides to halt military operations represents a dangerous departure from his preferred model: the famous one-sided ceasefire.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #IsraelTerroristState #Lebanon #US #Iran
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Normal Island News
Trump looking forward to launching Power Plant Tuesday from British military bases
President Trump says he is looking forward to launching Power Plant Tuesday from military bases in the UK, unless Iran opens the Strait that is only closed because Trump started this war. The US president was furious that the Iranians seem in no mood for negotiation, due to the minor issue that Israel killed all of the negotiators.
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Normal Island News
IDF not joining US ground invasion because it's only comfortable fighting women and children
Israel has announced its troops will not be joining the US in the ground invasion of Iran, due to concerns they would have to fight grown men, rather than unarmed women and children.
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BREAKING: #Israel is The Only Democracy in the Middle East™ that has the death penalty for one ethnic group but not another 👀
From #NormalIslandNews #satire
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Normal Island News
Police to resume Palestine Action arrests due to staggering rise in terrorism that has so far seen zero casualties
With all the terrible things going on in the world, you will be pleased to hear the Metropolitan Police has decided to once again focus its energy on the most important issue of all: people holding up signs the government doesn’t like.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #GazaGenocide #PalestineAction #fascismUK
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Normal Island News
Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes
Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred
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Normal Island News
Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes
Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred
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Normal Island News
Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes
Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred
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Normal Island News
Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes
Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred
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Normal Island News
Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes
Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred
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Normal Island News
President Trump "saddened" by the loss of his favourite Brit, child killer Ian Huntley
President Trump has sent his condolences to the family of Soham killer Ian Huntley, following his untimely death at the age of 52. As a fellow child killer, the President had a strong affinity with his “favourite Brit” and had visited him several times in prison.
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Normal Island News
Israel jubilant as Iranian school girl death toll surpasses expectations with over 148 "liberated"
There were wild celebrations in bunkers across Tel Aviv—and even a Florida congressional office—as exciting news updates rolled in. The European colonisers stopped cowering for a moment as they heard the death toll of Iranian schoolgirls had risen to 148.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #IranGenocide #USFascistState #IsraelTerroristState #war #children
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Normal Island News
It turns out being born with royal blood doesn't make you above the law any more
In a stunning development, a man who was born with magic or “royal” blood has discovered that he is no longer above the law. The paedophile formally known as “Prince” has been arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office.
The arrest took place this morning on Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s 66th birthday