#neuroqueer — Public Fediverse posts

Years ago, I’ve seen a phrase saying that some people always remember that “I am not like others”, but always forget that “Others are not like me”.

For #neuroqueer me, the first one is because, well, the society just doesn’t let me forget: I am always reminded that I am weird, wrong, not adequate, not appropriate etc
The second one, I suppose, is firstly because of exposure: #neurodivergency usually runs in the family - plus it’s more likely to be surrounded by somewhat relatable people, so #neurodivergent traits are seen as more common, and, secondly, because of innate human trait to see oneself as a baseline, to measure the world in relation to ourselves.

For me, that second thing makes it sometimes hard to believe that the things represented in the culture as normal and common are actually real:
- Wow, guys, you have your real selves? How do you know it’s not just another mask?
- No, it can’t be that loud music in shopping malls is not overwhelming for someone!
- I’m sure, that spontaneous love-at-the-first-sight is totally made up by poets and writers!
- Why would they even care about that person’s gender, it doesn’t matter?

And, from time to time, it would create some common dismissive phrases to raise as a center of doubt:
- Isn’t everyone having the same problems? Do NT people actually exist and are not just the same NDs like me, just masking better, with NT stereotype being nothing more than just a fairy tale made by exploitive society everyone is chasing hopelessly?
- Isn’t everyone pan by nature and just putting themselves into certain frames according to societal expectations?
- Doesn’t everyone just decide first that they want to fall in love with this particular person - based on their merits or potential candidates availability, and work towards feeling something later, and all those crazy spontaneous love stories being just late justifications of bad choices?
- Doesn’t everyone sometimes have dreams about having a different kind of body?
… and so on

The worst thing is, that despite knowing how ridiculous such doubts are, despite knowing all of the reasoning and all, part of me will still often have this doubts - because it’s not about actual reason, it’s much more about that basic instinct of having yourself as the origin, keeping all the coordinates relative to yourself.

Do you guys sometimes have these doubts about ‘maybe I am not so different after all, and others are just masking better?’ Are you also sometimes frustrated ‘It can’t be that some people actually do that’? Which are the things that you stumble upon most?
@actuallyautistic

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TransActual are looking for two new members of staff, apply by 5pm on Friday 31st May.

You'll find more info and the application form by typing in transactual.org.uk/jobs or by going to the link in our bio, scrolling to new from TransActual and clicking 'jobs'.

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anyone here #coppicing or #greenwoodworking?

i'm based in #SouthWestWales retraining in #woodlandsmanagement (from a long history of #creativedigitalculture) so am especially keen to find my nerdy local #treefolk <3

i'm also #neuroqueer - #autistic #adhd #cptsd #queer #gendernonconforming #sober and #unlearning societal 'norms' (ugh) so i can be the human i want and need to be, and can play my part in the #movements making the world safe, welcoming and joyful for everyone.

#introduction

#Introduction post, a non-exhaustive list of things I love to connect on:

#reading
#ReadingRecs
#publishing
#queershit
#gender
#asexuality
#aromanticism
#genderqueer
#disabilityjustice
#community
#inclusion
#wellbeing
#academic
#research
#ethics
#contextualism
#functionalcontextualism
#neurodiversity
#ADHD
#neuroqueer
#behaviorscience
#behavioranalysis
#systemsanalysis
#sexualbehavior
#implicitbias