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#monosexism — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #monosexism, aggregated by home.social.

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  1. there's a big overlap between being #nonbinary & being #bi+.

    there's also a big overlap in how nonbinary oppression & bi+ oppression work.

    you cannot be pro-nonbinary & anti-bi+, and vice versa.

    both #exorsexism & #monosexism are based on binaries, on the idea that there are only two valid options someone can be. everyone else just doesn't exist. or we exist but are only "accepted" under very narrow conditions. or that we exist but violence against us doesn't.

    one of the most common ways this shows up is what i've called "in between rhetoric": the idea that nonbinary people are in between male & female (and by extension, between cis and trans) & that bi+ people are in between straight & gay. this means people see us as being "in between" privileged and oppressed.

    it means that both nonbinary & bi+ people are treated as "the most privileged" group in the trans/queer community, as inherently more harmful, as "less oppressed" than binary trans & gay people, as "wanting to be oppressed so bad" etc. framing us as inherently closer to cis & straight people helps people justify the continued erasure & denial of our lived experience with oppression & violence.

    take almost any common exorsexist talking point, switch out a few words & you'll have a common monosexist talking point & vice versa.

    this is why as a bi enby, i don't trust you if you fully embrace nonbinary people as trans & as an oppressed group with unique experience, but get weird about bi+ people and our oppression. and vice versa.

    it shows me you're really just one step away from throwing the group you claim to support under the bus, too.

  2. CW: re: Thread, kink, bisexuality, self-acceptance, love, personal growth

    To get to this point of #SelfAcceptance, I've had to sit with and undo a lot of internalized #biphobia. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that, while #bisexuals are part of the #LGBTQ community (in so much as it can be called a unified community), we also have our own unique experiences. So much of the media and discussions around #sexuality, even when they pay lip service to more fluid experiences of #desire and sexuality, is entirely focused on #monosexism, that is, on the idea that sexuality is a fixed and singular entity and experience. For some people it might be! But for others, it is not. And many both straight and cis spaces, as well as #queer spaces, all too often get caught up in one singular idea of what sex and sexuality and desire can or should or do look like, to the detriment of those of us whose experiences are more fluid and more difficult to define.

  3. CW: re: Thread, kink, bisexuality, self-acceptance, love, personal growth

    To get to this point of #SelfAcceptance, I've had to sit with and undo a lot of internalized #biphobia. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that, while #bisexuals are part of the #LGBTQ community (in so much as it can be called a unified community), we also have our own unique experiences. So much of the media and discussions around #sexuality, even when they pay lip service to more fluid experiences of #desire and sexuality, is entirely focused on #monosexism, that is, on the idea that sexuality is a fixed and singular entity and experience. For some people it might be! But for others, it is not. And many both straight and cis spaces, as well as #queer spaces, all too often get caught up in one singular idea of what sex and sexuality and desire can or should or do look like, to the detriment of those of us whose experiences are more fluid and more difficult to define.

  4. CW: re: Thread, kink, bisexuality, self-acceptance, love, personal growth

    To get to this point of #SelfAcceptance, I've had to sit with and undo a lot of internalized #biphobia. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that, while #bisexuals are part of the #LGBTQ community (in so much as it can be called a unified community), we also have our own unique experiences. So much of the media and discussions around #sexuality, even when they pay lip service to more fluid experiences of #desire and sexuality, is entirely focused on #monosexism, that is, on the idea that sexuality is a fixed and singular entity and experience. For some people it might be! But for others, it is not. And many both straight and cis spaces, as well as #queer spaces, all too often get caught up in one singular idea of what sex and sexuality and desire can or should or do look like, to the detriment of those of us whose experiences are more fluid and more difficult to define.

  5. CW: re: Thread, kink, bisexuality, self-acceptance, love, personal growth

    To get to this point of #SelfAcceptance, I've had to sit with and undo a lot of internalized #biphobia. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that, while #bisexuals are part of the #LGBTQ community (in so much as it can be called a unified community), we also have our own unique experiences. So much of the media and discussions around #sexuality, even when they pay lip service to more fluid experiences of #desire and sexuality, is entirely focused on #monosexism, that is, on the idea that sexuality is a fixed and singular entity and experience. For some people it might be! But for others, it is not. And many both straight and cis spaces, as well as #queer spaces, all too often get caught up in one singular idea of what sex and sexuality and desire can or should or do look like, to the detriment of those of us whose experiences are more fluid and more difficult to define.

  6. CW: re: Thread, kink, bisexuality, self-acceptance, love, personal growth

    To get to this point of #SelfAcceptance, I've had to sit with and undo a lot of internalized #biphobia. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that, while #bisexuals are part of the #LGBTQ community (in so much as it can be called a unified community), we also have our own unique experiences. So much of the media and discussions around #sexuality, even when they pay lip service to more fluid experiences of #desire and sexuality, is entirely focused on #monosexism, that is, on the idea that sexuality is a fixed and singular entity and experience. For some people it might be! But for others, it is not. And many both straight and cis spaces, as well as #queer spaces, all too often get caught up in one singular idea of what sex and sexuality and desire can or should or do look like, to the detriment of those of us whose experiences are more fluid and more difficult to define.

  7. So, Psychology Today is encouraging the public to doubt the existence of #bisexual and bi+ #men even in 2024.

    #biphobia #monosexism

  8. So, Psychology Today is encouraging the public to doubt the existence of #bisexual and bi+ #men even in 2024.

    #biphobia #monosexism

  9. So, Psychology Today is encouraging the public to doubt the existence of #bisexual and bi+ #men even in 2024.

    #biphobia #monosexism

  10. So, Psychology Today is encouraging the public to doubt the existence of #bisexual and bi+ #men even in 2024.

    #biphobia #monosexism

  11. So, Psychology Today is encouraging the public to doubt the existence of #bisexual and bi+ #men even in 2024.

    #biphobia #monosexism

  12. Straight and #gay people often act in ways that feed #monosexism and keeps #biphobia going. But there needs solidarity between gay, #bisexual and other bi+ folks, because we all get the short end of #heterosexism, the system of power that keeps straight people on top.

  13. Straight and #gay people often act in ways that feed #monosexism and keeps #biphobia going. But there needs solidarity between gay, #bisexual and other bi+ folks, because we all get the short end of #heterosexism, the system of power that keeps straight people on top.

  14. Straight and #gay people often act in ways that feed #monosexism and keeps #biphobia going. But there needs solidarity between gay, #bisexual and other bi+ folks, because we all get the short end of #heterosexism, the system of power that keeps straight people on top.

  15. Straight and #gay people often act in ways that feed #monosexism and keeps #biphobia going. But there needs solidarity between gay, #bisexual and other bi+ folks, because we all get the short end of #heterosexism, the system of power that keeps straight people on top.

  16. Straight and #gay people often act in ways that feed #monosexism and keeps #biphobia going. But there needs solidarity between gay, #bisexual and other bi+ folks, because we all get the short end of #heterosexism, the system of power that keeps straight people on top.

  17. As this is the International Day Against #Homophobia, #Transphobia & #Biphobia, here's my obligatory post saying that biphobia is the overlooked one of these 3. It's a consequence of #monosexism, the system of power that makes the experiences of people who are attracted to just one gender more valid, and gives them power at our expense.

  18. As this is the International Day Against #Homophobia, #Transphobia & #Biphobia, here's my obligatory post saying that biphobia is the overlooked one of these 3. It's a consequence of #monosexism, the system of power that makes the experiences of people who are attracted to just one gender more valid, and gives them power at our expense.

  19. As this is the International Day Against #Homophobia, #Transphobia & #Biphobia, here's my obligatory post saying that biphobia is the overlooked one of these 3. It's a consequence of #monosexism, the system of power that makes the experiences of people who are attracted to just one gender more valid, and gives them power at our expense.

  20. As this is the International Day Against #Homophobia, #Transphobia & #Biphobia, here's my obligatory post saying that biphobia is the overlooked one of these 3. It's a consequence of #monosexism, the system of power that makes the experiences of people who are attracted to just one gender more valid, and gives them power at our expense.

  21. As this is the International Day Against #Homophobia, #Transphobia & #Biphobia, here's my obligatory post saying that biphobia is the overlooked one of these 3. It's a consequence of #monosexism, the system of power that makes the experiences of people who are attracted to just one gender more valid, and gives them power at our expense.

  22. I've been visibly out as #Bisexual here and in persona since early last year, yet it took me until my 13th #GameDev industry anniversary this week to follow suit on LinkedIn.

    So I decided to do so with a short write up on some of the reasons for why it took me so long and why I felt that I needed to post it in the first place. How #Monosexism made the effect slurs in the workspace had on me invisible, made it tricky to be subtly out, in fact suggested it as unnecessary
    linkedin.com/posts/martintilos

  23. I've been visibly out as #Bisexual here and in persona since early last year, yet it took me until my 13th #GameDev industry anniversary this week to follow suit on LinkedIn.

    So I decided to do so with a short write up on some of the reasons for why it took me so long and why I felt that I needed to post it in the first place. How #Monosexism made the effect slurs in the workspace had on me invisible, made it tricky to be subtly out, in fact suggested it as unnecessary
    linkedin.com/posts/martintilos

  24. I've been visibly out as #Bisexual here and in persona since early last year, yet it took me until my 13th #GameDev industry anniversary this week to follow suit on LinkedIn.

    So I decided to do so with a short write up on some of the reasons for why it took me so long and why I felt that I needed to post it in the first place. How #Monosexism made the effect slurs in the workspace had on me invisible, made it tricky to be subtly out, in fact suggested it as unnecessary
    linkedin.com/posts/martintilos

  25. I've been visibly out as #Bisexual here and in persona since early last year, yet it took me until my 13th #GameDev industry anniversary this week to follow suit on LinkedIn.

    So I decided to do so with a short write up on some of the reasons for why it took me so long and why I felt that I needed to post it in the first place. How #Monosexism made the effect slurs in the workspace had on me invisible, made it tricky to be subtly out, in fact suggested it as unnecessary
    linkedin.com/posts/martintilos

  26. I've been visibly out as #Bisexual here and in persona since early last year, yet it took me until my 13th #GameDev industry anniversary this week to follow suit on LinkedIn.

    So I decided to do so with a short write up on some of the reasons for why it took me so long and why I felt that I needed to post it in the first place. How #Monosexism made the effect slurs in the workspace had on me invisible, made it tricky to be subtly out, in fact suggested it as unnecessary
    linkedin.com/posts/martintilos

  27. Some of us play whack-a-mole with biphobes online too, or spend time and energy untangling myths about us. It can be worthwhile, but it's draining. Still, doing this doesn't challenge the root causes of #bisexual and bi+ #men's issues, the systems that keep us down and spread #homophobia and #biphobia: #heterosexism and #monosexism. 5/

  28. Some of us play whack-a-mole with biphobes online too, or spend time and energy untangling myths about us. It can be worthwhile, but it's draining. Still, doing this doesn't challenge the root causes of #bisexual and bi+ #men's issues, the systems that keep us down and spread #homophobia and #biphobia: #heterosexism and #monosexism. 5/

  29. Some of us play whack-a-mole with biphobes online too, or spend time and energy untangling myths about us. It can be worthwhile, but it's draining. Still, doing this doesn't challenge the root causes of #bisexual and bi+ #men's issues, the systems that keep us down and spread #homophobia and #biphobia: #heterosexism and #monosexism. 5/

  30. Some of us play whack-a-mole with biphobes online too, or spend time and energy untangling myths about us. It can be worthwhile, but it's draining. Still, doing this doesn't challenge the root causes of #bisexual and bi+ #men's issues, the systems that keep us down and spread #homophobia and #biphobia: #heterosexism and #monosexism. 5/

  31. Some of us play whack-a-mole with biphobes online too, or spend time and energy untangling myths about us. It can be worthwhile, but it's draining. Still, doing this doesn't challenge the root causes of #bisexual and bi+ #men's issues, the systems that keep us down and spread #homophobia and #biphobia: #heterosexism and #monosexism. 5/

  32. @Nclt I need to do more political writing, but my own Sex Ed for Bi Guys series has a couple of posts on coming out and power dynamics. These talk about myths that tend to come up in those conversations, and how to deal with those constructively. It's often not direct #biphobia, but biphobia and #monosexism feed these, and a lot of #bisexual people run into them. This is the main post about this. sexedforbiguys.tumblr.com/post

  33. @Nclt I need to do more political writing, but my own Sex Ed for Bi Guys series has a couple of posts on coming out and power dynamics. These talk about myths that tend to come up in those conversations, and how to deal with those constructively. It's often not direct #biphobia, but biphobia and #monosexism feed these, and a lot of #bisexual people run into them. This is the main post about this. sexedforbiguys.tumblr.com/post

  34. @Nclt I need to do more political writing, but my own Sex Ed for Bi Guys series has a couple of posts on coming out and power dynamics. These talk about myths that tend to come up in those conversations, and how to deal with those constructively. It's often not direct #biphobia, but biphobia and #monosexism feed these, and a lot of #bisexual people run into them. This is the main post about this. sexedforbiguys.tumblr.com/post

  35. @Nclt I need to do more political writing, but my own Sex Ed for Bi Guys series has a couple of posts on coming out and power dynamics. These talk about myths that tend to come up in those conversations, and how to deal with those constructively. It's often not direct #biphobia, but biphobia and #monosexism feed these, and a lot of #bisexual people run into them. This is the main post about this. sexedforbiguys.tumblr.com/post

  36. @Nclt I need to do more political writing, but my own Sex Ed for Bi Guys series has a couple of posts on coming out and power dynamics. These talk about myths that tend to come up in those conversations, and how to deal with those constructively. It's often not direct #biphobia, but biphobia and #monosexism feed these, and a lot of #bisexual people run into them. This is the main post about this. sexedforbiguys.tumblr.com/post

  37. @Nclt I'll give links to shorter stuff, but if you're down for a longer read, the most insightful book on #biphobia and #monosexism is "Bi: Notes for a #Bisexual Revolution," by Shiri Eisner. Shiri is one of the few activists who look at this stuff as a system in society and not just as individuals being prejudiced.

  38. @Nclt I'll give links to shorter stuff, but if you're down for a longer read, the most insightful book on #biphobia and #monosexism is "Bi: Notes for a #Bisexual Revolution," by Shiri Eisner. Shiri is one of the few activists who look at this stuff as a system in society and not just as individuals being prejudiced.

  39. @Nclt I'll give links to shorter stuff, but if you're down for a longer read, the most insightful book on #biphobia and #monosexism is "Bi: Notes for a #Bisexual Revolution," by Shiri Eisner. Shiri is one of the few activists who look at this stuff as a system in society and not just as individuals being prejudiced.

  40. @Nclt I'll give links to shorter stuff, but if you're down for a longer read, the most insightful book on #biphobia and #monosexism is "Bi: Notes for a #Bisexual Revolution," by Shiri Eisner. Shiri is one of the few activists who look at this stuff as a system in society and not just as individuals being prejudiced.

  41. @Nclt I'll give links to shorter stuff, but if you're down for a longer read, the most insightful book on #biphobia and #monosexism is "Bi: Notes for a #Bisexual Revolution," by Shiri Eisner. Shiri is one of the few activists who look at this stuff as a system in society and not just as individuals being prejudiced.

  42. We talk about #bisexual #erasure as if it was the end result of #monosexism—the system that puts bi+ folks down—hurting us. But it's not. It's just the middle part of it, its tool. Biphobes erase us to push the belief that we don't exist nor matter, that we're not worth talking about nor taking seriously. Once this is done, they have all the power to call the shots in the #straight and #queer worlds. And they can do what they want with us without anyone in a position to push back hard.

  43. We talk about #bisexual #erasure as if it was the end result of #monosexism—the system that puts bi+ folks down—hurting us. But it's not. It's just the middle part of it, its tool. Biphobes erase us to push the belief that we don't exist nor matter, that we're not worth talking about nor taking seriously. Once this is done, they have all the power to call the shots in the #straight and #queer worlds. And they can do what they want with us without anyone in a position to push back hard.

  44. We talk about #bisexual #erasure as if it was the end result of #monosexism—the system that puts bi+ folks down—hurting us. But it's not. It's just the middle part of it, its tool. Biphobes erase us to push the belief that we don't exist nor matter, that we're not worth talking about nor taking seriously. Once this is done, they have all the power to call the shots in the #straight and #queer worlds. And they can do what they want with us without anyone in a position to push back hard.

  45. We talk about #bisexual #erasure as if it was the end result of #monosexism—the system that puts bi+ folks down—hurting us. But it's not. It's just the middle part of it, its tool. Biphobes erase us to push the belief that we don't exist nor matter, that we're not worth talking about nor taking seriously. Once this is done, they have all the power to call the shots in the #straight and #queer worlds. And they can do what they want with us without anyone in a position to push back hard.

  46. We talk about #bisexual #erasure as if it was the end result of #monosexism—the system that puts bi+ folks down—hurting us. But it's not. It's just the middle part of it, its tool. Biphobes erase us to push the belief that we don't exist nor matter, that we're not worth talking about nor taking seriously. Once this is done, they have all the power to call the shots in the #straight and #queer worlds. And they can do what they want with us without anyone in a position to push back hard.

  47. @noam About individual jerks, even though it's individuals who have biphobic views, like any prejudice in society, there's a system that helps spread it around. For bi+ folks, this system's called #monosexism. A part of it is rooted in the gay and lesbian movement. This doesn't mean everyone in that movement has biphobic views. But it means that many key figures in the movement have opposed #bisexual inclusion, and they've chosen goals that primarily benefited lesbians and gay men.

  48. @noam About individual jerks, even though it's individuals who have biphobic views, like any prejudice in society, there's a system that helps spread it around. For bi+ folks, this system's called #monosexism. A part of it is rooted in the gay and lesbian movement. This doesn't mean everyone in that movement has biphobic views. But it means that many key figures in the movement have opposed #bisexual inclusion, and they've chosen goals that primarily benefited lesbians and gay men.

  49. @noam About individual jerks, even though it's individuals who have biphobic views, like any prejudice in society, there's a system that helps spread it around. For bi+ folks, this system's called #monosexism. A part of it is rooted in the gay and lesbian movement. This doesn't mean everyone in that movement has biphobic views. But it means that many key figures in the movement have opposed #bisexual inclusion, and they've chosen goals that primarily benefited lesbians and gay men.

  50. @noam About individual jerks, even though it's individuals who have biphobic views, like any prejudice in society, there's a system that helps spread it around. For bi+ folks, this system's called #monosexism. A part of it is rooted in the gay and lesbian movement. This doesn't mean everyone in that movement has biphobic views. But it means that many key figures in the movement have opposed #bisexual inclusion, and they've chosen goals that primarily benefited lesbians and gay men.

  51. @noam About individual jerks, even though it's individuals who have biphobic views, like any prejudice in society, there's a system that helps spread it around. For bi+ folks, this system's called #monosexism. A part of it is rooted in the gay and lesbian movement. This doesn't mean everyone in that movement has biphobic views. But it means that many key figures in the movement have opposed #bisexual inclusion, and they've chosen goals that primarily benefited lesbians and gay men.

  52. CW: Queer media representation in the early 2000s, thread

    Watching it again, today, brought me back to my college days and just how paltry #queer representation was at the time. People didn't really even talk much about queerness then, honestly. In the mainstream, both in media and activism the focus was on white, cis, gay, middle class men and the big political demand was for #SameSexMarriage. Stories about anyone else were few and far between, and stories about even those white, cis, gay, middle class men were few and far between.

    There was also a heavy focus on #monosexism, so in retrospect, maybe it makes sense #TippingTheVelvet didn't lead to a queer awakening for me. After all, I knew at that time I was attracted to men, and the main character in that show says she feels nothing for men. So maybe that's why I didn't relate?

    4/?

    #LGBTQ #QueerRepresentation #Lesbian #Sapphic #ComingOutAsAnAdult

  53. CW: Queer media representation in the early 2000s, thread

    Watching it again, today, brought me back to my college days and just how paltry #queer representation was at the time. People didn't really even talk much about queerness then, honestly. In the mainstream, both in media and activism the focus was on white, cis, gay, middle class men and the big political demand was for #SameSexMarriage. Stories about anyone else were few and far between, and stories about even those white, cis, gay, middle class men were few and far between.

    There was also a heavy focus on #monosexism, so in retrospect, maybe it makes sense #TippingTheVelvet didn't lead to a queer awakening for me. After all, I knew at that time I was attracted to men, and the main character in that show says she feels nothing for men. So maybe that's why I didn't relate?

    4/?

    #LGBTQ #QueerRepresentation #Lesbian #Sapphic #ComingOutAsAnAdult

  54. CW: Queer media representation in the early 2000s, thread

    Watching it again, today, brought me back to my college days and just how paltry #queer representation was at the time. People didn't really even talk much about queerness then, honestly. In the mainstream, both in media and activism the focus was on white, cis, gay, middle class men and the big political demand was for #SameSexMarriage. Stories about anyone else were few and far between, and stories about even those white, cis, gay, middle class men were few and far between.

    There was also a heavy focus on #monosexism, so in retrospect, maybe it makes sense #TippingTheVelvet didn't lead to a queer awakening for me. After all, I knew at that time I was attracted to men, and the main character in that show says she feels nothing for men. So maybe that's why I didn't relate?

    4/?

    #LGBTQ #QueerRepresentation #Lesbian #Sapphic #ComingOutAsAnAdult

  55. CW: Queer media representation in the early 2000s, thread

    Watching it again, today, brought me back to my college days and just how paltry #queer representation was at the time. People didn't really even talk much about queerness then, honestly. In the mainstream, both in media and activism the focus was on white, cis, gay, middle class men and the big political demand was for #SameSexMarriage. Stories about anyone else were few and far between, and stories about even those white, cis, gay, middle class men were few and far between.

    There was also a heavy focus on #monosexism, so in retrospect, maybe it makes sense #TippingTheVelvet didn't lead to a queer awakening for me. After all, I knew at that time I was attracted to men, and the main character in that show says she feels nothing for men. So maybe that's why I didn't relate?

    4/?

    #LGBTQ #QueerRepresentation #Lesbian #Sapphic #ComingOutAsAnAdult