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  1. Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

    Thanks and bye.

    #MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

  2. Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

    Thanks and bye.

    #MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

  3. Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

    Thanks and bye.

    #MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

  4. Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

    Thanks and bye.

    #MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

  5. Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

    Thanks and bye.

    #MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

  6. Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

    Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

    #MetroTrains

  7. Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

    Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

    #MetroTrains

  8. Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

    Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

    #MetroTrains

  9. Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

    Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

    #MetroTrains

  10. Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

    Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

    #MetroTrains

  11. Good morning Melbourne!

    We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

    #MetroTrains

  12. Good morning Melbourne!

    We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

    #MetroTrains

  13. Good morning Melbourne!

    We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

    #MetroTrains

  14. Good morning Melbourne!

    We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

    #MetroTrains

  15. Good morning Melbourne!

    We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

    #MetroTrains

  16. @fakeyarratrams this would be funnier if you came up with something original. 0/10 would not recommend

    #MetroTrains

  17. @fakeyarratrams this would be funnier if you came up with something original. 0/10 would not recommend

    #MetroTrains

  18. @fakeyarratrams this would be funnier if you came up with something original. 0/10 would not recommend

    #MetroTrains

  19. @fakeyarratrams this would be funnier if you came up with something original. 0/10 would not recommend

    #MetroTrains

  20. @fakeyarratrams this would be funnier if you came up with something original. 0/10 would not recommend

    #MetroTrains

  21. An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

    #MetroTrains

  22. An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

    #MetroTrains

  23. An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

    #MetroTrains

  24. An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

    #MetroTrains

  25. An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

    #MetroTrains

  26. Throwback Thursday!

    This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

    At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

    Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  27. Throwback Thursday!

    This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

    At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

    Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  28. Throwback Thursday!

    This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

    At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

    Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  29. Throwback Thursday!

    This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

    At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

    Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  30. Throwback Thursday!

    This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

    At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

    Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  31. Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

    #MetroTrains

  32. Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

    #MetroTrains

  33. Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

    #MetroTrains

  34. Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

    #MetroTrains

  35. Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

    #MetroTrains

  36. Metro 5.30pm Update:

    All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.

    If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.

    #MetroTrains

  37. Metro 5.30pm Update:

    All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.

    If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.

    #MetroTrains

  38. Metro 5.30pm Update:

    All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.

    If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.

    #MetroTrains

  39. Metro 5.30pm Update:

    All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.

    If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.

    #MetroTrains

  40. Metro 5.30pm Update:

    All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.

    If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.

    #MetroTrains

  41. Throwback Thursday!

    This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.

    At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  42. Throwback Thursday!

    This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.

    At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  43. Throwback Thursday!

    This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.

    At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  44. Throwback Thursday!

    This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.

    At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  45. Throwback Thursday!

    This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.

    At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.

    #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

  46. Looks like Bruce Whalley has been milkshake ducked.

    Fuck you, Bruce.

    #MetroTrains

  47. Looks like Bruce Whalley has been milkshake ducked.

    Fuck you, Bruce.

    #MetroTrains

  48. Looks like Bruce Whalley has been milkshake ducked.

    Fuck you, Bruce.

    #MetroTrains

  49. Looks like Bruce Whalley has been milkshake ducked.

    Fuck you, Bruce.

    #MetroTrains

  50. Looks like Bruce Whalley has been milkshake ducked.

    Fuck you, Bruce.

    #MetroTrains

  51. Good morning Melbourne!

    Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.

    Your patience is appreciated.

    #MetroTrains

  52. Good morning Melbourne!

    Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.

    Your patience is appreciated.

    #MetroTrains

  53. Good morning Melbourne!

    Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.

    Your patience is appreciated.

    #MetroTrains

  54. Good morning Melbourne!

    Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.

    Your patience is appreciated.

    #MetroTrains

  55. Good morning Melbourne!

    Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.

    Your patience is appreciated.

    #MetroTrains

  56. Good morning Melbourne!

    It’s a new week and you can all go fuck yourselves in the mouth. Thanks.

    #MetroTrains

  57. Good morning Melbourne!

    It’s a new week and you can all go fuck yourselves in the mouth. Thanks.

    #MetroTrains

  58. Good morning Melbourne!

    It’s a new week and you can all go fuck yourselves in the mouth. Thanks.

    #MetroTrains

  59. Good morning Melbourne!

    It’s a new week and you can all go fuck yourselves in the mouth. Thanks.

    #MetroTrains

  60. Good morning Melbourne!

    It’s a new week and you can all go fuck yourselves in the mouth. Thanks.

    #MetroTrains