#medicalaidindying — Public Fediverse posts

On Good Deaths And True Names

Content warning: This post talks about death and dying, and mentions both assisted and unassisted suicide.

Frustration: Opening this file on my main computer to write something one night, then deciding it would be better to do it on the writing machine, then getting distracted before I got to the writing machine and forgetting what I was going to write about.

I did eventually remember what wanted to write about. As I got started working on adding it here, I realized it really needs to be its own post, so I’m working on another Music For A Sunday Afternoon post.

And with last week’s post, I’ve surpassed my total number of posts for last year, and there’s still six weeks left in the year. Yay me.

A Dragon Trail

A friend sent me a 2021 Twitter post.

I just told my wife “I’m sorry we have to raise children in these dystopian times”. 

She recalled a quote she read just today:

“’Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time where there are actual dragons’”. 

That sent me down the rabbit trail (dragon trail?) of learning more about the quote. I found this 2022 thread. That’s obviously not the source for the post I was sent, since the one I’m researching is older than that one. It did give me a couple of leads on the origin of the quote. Sort of.

I’ve always had a bit of a problem with distractions like that. It stems from getting caught up with finding out the true source of a quote. I’ve inadvertently shared spurious quotes in the past, so I’ve made an effort to avoid doing that these days. But the abundance of social media platforms makes verification quite the rabbit trail.

And I just branched off for a moment to check on the difference between a rabbit hole and a rabbit trail.

I couldn’t figure out who originally said it. But it did send me off on a tangent that I’ll probably expand into a bigger post because of the way my mind works.

What’s In A Name?

One of the common things many trans people do is to change their name. It may sometimes be as “simple” as switching from Alexander to Alex, or Alexandra. Sometimes it’s more drastic, like going from John to Geneva (a real-world example I’m personally familiar with). Sharon to Kevin. Whatever the change is, you get the idea. They have a new name.

The old name is usually referred to as their “deadname” and if you use it intentionally with them, it’s considered very rude. Trans people can get a lot of grief from friends, family, and even the government about their name change. They have to constantly remind people who knew them by their deadname that, no, that’s not what you should call me. I can only imagine how tiresome it is to deal with that, and I suspect that at times, some would go to great extremes to make people forget their deadname.

There’s a legend about the fae—fairies or fairy people—that says if you give them your True Name, they gain power over you, or can make people forget about you.

What if someone combined these two ideas? Using fae to take away someone’s deadname?

Check out this thread over at Reddit’s /WritingPrompts. It’s been done half a dozen times or so over the last couple of years, but this was the first one I’d seen, and I loved the concept. There were three responses when I last looked at it, and I liked all three. I don’t know that I could pick a favorite though. Shalidar13 was very good with just a twist of darkness. ZacQuicksilver and Amitheupstairsgal were more tender and sweet. Anyway, give it a read. I hope you like the stories.

On Good Deaths

I wrote earlier this year about society’s fear of death.

There was a constitutional amendment up for a vote in West Virginia on November 5th regarding assisted suicide. It was already illegal in the state by statute. But opponents wanted to make it as difficult as possible for someone to end their lives on their own terms, so they put this amendment on the ballot.

The votes weren’t completely tabulated until Nov. 14th, with a difference of just under 5,900 votes swinging the decision in favor of the amendment. The vote distribution is interesting, looking like the stereotypical “city vs. country” division.

Sure, someone in WV could travel Vermont or DC to take charge of how they’ll die. They shouldn’t have to, though. Read more commentary at Reason.

I’m Okay With The Idea

I absolutely support the basic concept of medical aid or assistance in dying, or assisted suicide, or whatever you want to call it. Actually, strike that. I need to be clear about what I’m discussing here

I’m talking about the thoughtful, reasoned approach to actively ending one’s life because of a long-term, incurable, or terminal disease. I’m not talking about withdrawing cancer treatment and “letting the disease take its course.” I don’t mean palliative care here. I’m talking about actively seeking out a deliberate end to one’s life.

I recognize that puts me at odds with a lot of people. Christians will claim with no basis that suicide is a sin. I don’t feel there’s any biblical support for such a claim.

There’s a difference in my mind here between MAID and jumping off a bridge or some other method of self-harm. The latter is typically done on the spur of the moment, without warning loved ones, and without consideration for those who might discover the deceased person or witness the death. MAID typically occurs in a comfortable setting, with the opportunity for loved ones to say their last goodbyes. It’s normally done with a medically-trained person setting up a mechanism to administer an overdose of drugs chosen to cause death.

When I phrase it that way, it sounds like it’s mechanically the same as an execution, doesn’t it? And lots of people are okay with the idea of The State killing someone. At least that’s what it seems like, since so many states still have capital punishment. So why is it okay for The State to do something, but not the patient?

Why can’t we as a society take the necessary steps to let a person take an active role in their death?

It’s not for you or me to make what amounts to a healthcare decision for someone else.

Death in Prison

It’s a fact of life that incarcerated people get sick and die while they’re in prison.

William Gladstone wrote, “Show me the manner in which a nation or a community cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender sympathies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land and their loyalty to high ideals.”

When our federal prison system treats incarcerated people and their families this poorly, there’s a problem.

I know there are going to be people who dismiss this by saying something like “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” or the modern variant, “FAFO.” But the thing is, the government has a duty to care for incarcerated people. That’s part of the definition of “custody.” When you take someone into custody, you’re taking responsibility for their health and safety.

We as a nation and a society need to do better.

Writing

I just barely made goal this week, by 105 words, or 3,951 words for the week.

And the soundtrack for this week has been Fantasy Music for Writing on Spotify, via Everrealm Records.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share a thought in the comments. Sign up for my infrequent newsletter here. Find some of my other writing at The Good Men Project, too. Subscribe to the blog via the link in the right sidebar or follow it on Mastodon. You can also add my RSS feed to your favorite reader.

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#assistedSuicide #contentWarning #deadnames #death #dragons #fae #medicalAidInDying #weekly #writing