#livemocking — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #livemocking, aggregated by home.social.
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Tim Cook: "Thank you for joining us. Stay safe, and have a great day."
Missing: "And please, someone SAVE MEE!!!!"
(It's kinda unsettling that someone thought putting Cook in the middle of high grass -- which looks like someone's gardener resigned 6 months ago -- would be a good idea.)
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"Pros don't need colours." -- Apple.
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Ok, one thing:
It is weird that the MacBook Pro is the only laptop that doesn't come in colours -- I think even Space Grey is out, it's the pure silver colour.
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If you get into a hipster coffee shop with the new MacBook Pro, all the hipsters would congratulate you for using a vintage computer.
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Unrelated, but Kate Bergeron sounds a lot like a female Tim Cook.
If Apple is smart, she would be promoted to some high level PR position and shown in every event from now on.
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"Connectivity: HDMI, Thunderbolt 4, SD card on right. Headphone jack, two more Thunderbolt 4, MagSafe 3 on left."
"MagSafe is back to the MacBook Pro."
See? 2015 model is back!
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Muahahahaha, they even took the touch bar out and brought a bunch of keys back!
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At least it has a bunch of ports, which the previous models did not.
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Oh, wow. The new MacBook Pro looks exactly like the 2015 model!
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"We shown the M1 to some pros and they were impressed with it."
"Unity model designer", "Game designer"... Those are people that do not care about the chip, they care if they can easily change models.
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I have a feeling Apple wants to distance itself from normal customers and let Microsoft take that, while they take control of some niches, like 3D modeling, ML and video editing.
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"3x faster ML performance."
Again, normal users do not train their ML things.
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I mean, I'm a fucking nerd, and even I'm bored with the news of the M1 family of chips (M1, M1Pro, M1Max).
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"Look, it's 40% less energy than most laptops, with the same performance."
Yeah, super fast, but what's the point for normal customers if the only thing that can use all that is a CAD or 3D design application, which is not what the normal customer uses?
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Holy cow, I never thought specs for a chip would be so boooooring.
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"We redesigned the MacBook Pro from the ground up."
I bet the case is exactly the same.
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Dutta: "Now we want to have our AirPods available to even more people. So here is the third generation of AirPods."
Those are not related, Dutta.
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Home Pod mini, in colours!
Now you can put a colour on the loss of your privacy!
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Oh, nice. You have to pay to ask Siri to play certain playlists.
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Zane: "You can now control music with Siri."
Somewhat, I recalled that scene in TNG when LaForge keeps asking for certain styles and the computer tries to figure out the correct song.
But that's not it, it is just more playlists.
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Oh, damn! Cook is lost in Apple Campus woods again!
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I could be #livemocking the Apple event today, but I'm not in the mood for it, to be honest.
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Also, for a presentation that started talking about racism and equality and supporting black people, having just one black person on stage was kinda of dick move.
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Wow, the presentation showing all the measures they took for it to go with proper safety.
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Federighi: "As you can see, the new mac can run iOS and iPadOS with no change."
HA!
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Wait, he launched an Apache server running on Linux on the new Apple silicon? And I missed because I was mocking stuff?
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Wendker: "Here, I have Maia with an image with 6 billion poligons. See how smooth it moves."
Me: Yeah yeah, no textures, so meh.
Wendkey: "Let me enable textures and lightning, see how it still moves smoothly."
Me: GODDAMIT!
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Federighi: "We use Rosetta to make applications built for the PowerPC to Intel, and now we are releasing Rosetta 2."
Where is the power marketing team you talked before, Craig?