#ladybachelor — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #ladybachelor, aggregated by home.social.
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things i'm proud of:
i just mended rips in Benson's 2 soft muzzles using packing string and a bent wire.
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Know what else makes me happy?
Eating rocky road from the tub wearing a big oversized shirt.
I feel like I'm in a late 80s movie.
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Bestie and I have declared the day after Thanksgiving Cozy Day!
We were going to do some girlie shit together but texted early and decided we both needed a cozy day.
She's cleaning out drawers, I'm decluttering, and assembling/rearranging furniture.
Happy Cozy Day!
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Recipe for a Grown Ass Auntie Turkey Day:
Sparkling wine
See's Candy truffles
Fancy Adult Lunchables (charcuterie)
Roasted potatoes
Braised greens
PIE(s)PS: I will not be preparing any of these things.
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Random birthday moments:
Lunch in Benicia with Bestie and some excellent thrifting.
Long misty morning sniffari with the doggo!
Bought a nifty cane with a flask inside! Weird but whatever.
Had good morning calls!
Joyfriend dynamic successfully shifted downward! (More about this later)
Had some advice about my dad's trust!
Kept my Duolingo streak going!
All in all, 55 is hitting softer.
And I'm ok with that. -
I paused my Feeld account.
Feeld: Tell us why you're pausing your account. We hate to see you go!
Me: god cishet dudes are annoying. And you're buggy as hell.
Feeld: anything else?
Me: again, dudes are annoying.
I hope every dating app turns into an echo chamber of priapic men bumping into each other, pinging bots, as the rest of us retreat to our dens with tea, murder mysteries, hobbies, and social skills.
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Benson transport chats:
Him (doggie transport guy): So you *never* want kids.
Me: good god that would be hilariously terrible. I am 54 ffs. Neverrrrrrr.
Him: but what if--?
Me: I would take care of that business immediately. *Immediately.*
Him: but you're the type of person who should be a mom! I see how you are with Benson!
Me: dude, I can put Benson on a leash, lead him around, and make him poop outside. Can't do that with a toddler.
[Note: consenting grown ass men, otoh...😈]
Him: Man, you are unshakeable.
The happiest demographic in the world are single women who've never married without kids.
To be an unbothered and never locked down Crone -- yaaaaassss.
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CW: Shenanigans+Healthy Joints
Him: my arthritis flare up is so bad. I really can't stand for a long time. I can come by but i'll need to not stand alot.
Me: it's a good thing shenanigans does not require alot of standing. My sciatica means I can't sit long and I walk like an orc.
Him: Also things not required by shenanigans.
Me: I do need to clean the apartment.
Him: not required by shenanigans.
Me: I've seen Boy Room on TikTok. I know the standards I need to keep.
Will your arthritis prevent you from BOOOOOOP [translate: attacking it from the rear flank, so to speak]?
Him: hmmm. I don't think so.
Me: Excellent. Take a pill.
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Me: [to Bestie] We should go to Bombera for dinner. They're fantastic.
Her: Brunch! Have you been there before?
Me: M- took me there when I was cosplaying his girlfriend. It was amazing. The food, I mean.
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Nothing like fitting into a LBD that was a smidgen too small before.
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While I know my fierce independence is a problematic byproduct of my childhood family dynamic, the fact I got my new giant, heavy ottoman upstairs and assembled alone makes me incredibly pleased with myself.
It is also *perfect* for me and Benson! Yay us!
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Someone on another platform asked her followers: What did you replace your ex with?
The responses make for some fascinating reading. I'm always interested in glow-up narratives, especially from women.
My answer: I replaced my X with ME.
That's my glow-up.
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It's the city. I'm not taking any chances.
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You can't take me anywhere.
We were having a lovely dinner at Wayfare Tavern (my new favorite place in SF because Dean knows me at the bar.)
And how did I end up having an argument with someone about voter access and the myth of voter fraud?
They bought our champagne but still. Don't try to tell me that voting should happen in person when we all know that having different ways of voting will increase the voting access.
Anyway. I politely yelled at him and we hugged later.
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CW: Mellow shenanigans
Had a very cool experience with Joyfriend A last night. A night of snacks, music, low lights, headrubs and scritches, talking about the ethics of editing the human genome to alleviate human suffering (he's pro; I've got questions), some cuddling and then cooling off in the night air.
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#BensonUpdate Benson Dubois is beginning to show a preference for being inside. He's more and more reluctant to come with me when I need to pop outside quickly for whatever reason. He just grumps, looks at the leash in my hand, and closes his eyes.Heh. My plan is working. He's getting so tired of being with Mommy he wants his space. Heh.
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Joyfriend A: Do you want to own me?Me: I'm #SoPo. Ownership is...heavy. But fostering....I could do that. Yes. You will be like my foster kitten.
Joyfriend A: [wriggling happily]
Everyone wants to be on my leash. I've only got room for one. And he's a thicc boi schmoopie face.
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Chisme with a Bestie...
Me: ...did you know Q is here in the Bay?
Her: No! I thought Ross was in one of the Carolinas.
Me: No...I think they're doing a dual household thing. Hey, is Ross Black or white? I know nothing about her husband.
Her: Um...ROSS...her *employer*...
Me: LOL
Her: JFC
Me: SNORT
Her: WE'VE KNOWN HER FOR 20 YEARS...
Me: hahahaha
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Sometimes you drop the dog at daycare to have a fabulous Bestie Day in Sausalito and Richmond dorking out on the Bay Area Model; drinking good wine by the water; touching way too expensive ceramics at Heath; and being glad to be two grown ass women on our own.
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Things Benson ate #today:
1 croissant
1 street taco on the sidewalk
A smear of....something
His kibbleThings I've ingested today:
2 bites of croissant
1 passionfruit Madeleine
2 cups of coffee
1 bottle of GatoradeI'm gearing up to assemble that second counter thingy. I need more Gatorade.
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A slow day full of naps, snacks, Murdoch Mysteries (because I'm 80), and playing with Benson who just wants to hang out outside and eat croissants like he's a French café denizen.
After our pre-dinner walk, I was apparently taking too long chatting with a neighbor because Benson, who'd been lounging at my feet, just got up and trudged upstairs without me.
He cracks me up.
I suppose I should text one of the Heaux who's been waiting for a date...I've just been enjoying all this me-time. My own company has felt delicious.
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It never fails.
Woman makes completely vanilla remark: I like gin & tonics!
Dude agrees: Me, as well!
Woman adds to convo: Limes are delicious!
Dude responds -- and then shoots his unsolicited shot: Once again I agree and how about shenanigans?!
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Sigh.
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So today is awesome.
Late to daycare.
Benson acted up on the train because he was muzzled and hated it.
Oh and he found a rotisserie chicken under a bush and we had to tussle for it.More 💅 sacrificed.
Siiiigh.
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I almost forgot to board Benson over the weekend (starting my vacation)!
While I'm sure he'd enjoy a long Juneteenth weekend of jazz, wine, and brunches with a bestie, *I* would not. So to boarding he goes! With some extra activities included!
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Other Bestie just sent me 3 days of dinner+brunch reservations when they're here. #LadyBachelor sans dog, here I come.
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EVERY aspect of patriarchy is a goddamn trap.
#CompHet #Patriarchy #Feminism #RadicallySingle #LadyBachelor
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/stephen-crowder-divorce-1234727777/
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Got up at the crack of.
Muzzled Benson and took the BART.
(I'm calling his muzzle a 'safety hat.' To destigmatize it in my head.)
Was super early getting to west Oakland so I met a friend for coffee on the way to daycare and we caught up for as long as it took us to drink 2 large teas.And I 'ran' for my bus as I saw it approaching!
Me to the bus driver: That was physical fitness.
He laughed.
The Shenanigans Mojo continues.
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Alicia the Dog Trainer is so reassuring.
Yeah, it could be that's her schtick. But I need her schtick. I need the confidence to be Benson's guardian.
Today we concentrated on building my leash skills and helping Benson understand what his role is when we are Working, i.e., on the leash.
Turns out the discipline I use when it's time to get Benson on/off the BART is the same discipline I should be using in most situations.
But, she reminded me, it's also a time for me and Benson to find ways to celebrate how far we've come. He's a happy, safe dog now and that's nothing to sneeze at.
So we celebrated with two ciders at Ben N Nick's for me and a basket of unsalted fries for Benson.
#BensonUpdate #LadyBachelor
#SorryNotSorry #DogFarts #DogsOfMastodon #DogsOfBayArea #sfba #Oakland -
People of a Certain Age Who Prefer Jumpsuits!
My girlfriends have been sending me links to jumpsuit sites now that I've declared my love for them. (I'm wearing my jumpsuit right now.)
I give you: TheKit. Fashion-forward, size-inclusive.
Totally going to get a couple so I can be that unbothered middle-aged woman in shapeless clothing. Feeling UNBOTHERED about not showing off my bits. I'm comfortable, ho.
#MiddleAgedHotness
#LadyBachelor
#Fashion
#menopause #GenX #BlackWomen -
In other (good) news, I fixed my jiggly toilet handle.
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Oh and how'd the date go?
Great manners, interacted with the dog, brought flowers. We had good physical chemistry. Pheromones, man.
I mean, I feel dead inside, but maybe that's just gas.
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I don't know what was in my Wheaties today but I got a LOT done!!
I was productive as hell, wiping out stuff that had malingered on my task list for over a month. I guess I finally had the mental fortitude to send those emails.
My offramp from Boss Lady mode to Lady Bachelor mode includes faking a dinner date at my place. There is NO way I'm cooking for anyone.
But arrange food artfully in pretty dishes? Totally.
I can do that.