A friend of mine is the head cook at a school I got this from them today.
A student comes up to grab a roll and says "Why is there a bite taken out of every roll? " I said when the rolls bake and proof they expand and touch and then when I pull it apart those spots happen. They just looked at me and said "I don’t think so". #thatslife #schoollunch #kidssaythedarndestthings
#kidssaythedarndestthings — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #kidssaythedarndestthings, aggregated by home.social.
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7yo: “Dad, I wouldn't swap you for anyone else, because they'd probably be worse than you. ... And you're bad enough as it is.”
I take that to mean I'm above average, but there's room for improvement 😂
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A student asked me today, "How old are you?"
I asked, "How old do you think I am?"
The reply, "35".
I told them they were a very good guesser!You'll notice I didn't tell them they guessed correctly or incorrectly... 😂
Just another reason I love working with kids.
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I serien "Spørsmål frå 5-åringen eg ikkje kan svare på":
Kvifor er det berre hendene og føtene som vert skrukkat i vatn? Kvifor ikkje til dømes ansiktet?
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Overheard in the park.
6YO girl sternly to her 4YO sister who is singing/screaming something completely incomprehensible:
Singing is not just making noises as loud as you can!
<stomps foot>
😂I have a strong suspicion that is a direct quote from Mom. 😃
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11yo *to me*: You are my creator, and for that I am eternally grateful. You have a tiny speck on your nose, of dust. You have a nose of dust. *cackles*
This has been a brief but wild roller coaster ride.
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Ran across notes from when 11yo was 6 years younger...
_______5yo: Can we go to the zoo today?
Me: Well, Daddy has too much to do to go to the zoo, and I don't think my back can handle walking around that long.
5yo: Can you handle riding in a wheelchair?
_______Y'all, the SARCASM on this kid. It's even worse 6 years on! 🤣🤣🤨
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"I was listening to a podcast with the laundry basket over my head...."
--the 11yo
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The Tyee: Danielle Smith Says the Darndest Things https://thetyee.ca/Opinion/2023/11/21/Danielle-Smith-Says-Darndest-Things/ #bcnews #TheTyee - via @[email protected] #DanielleSmithcompassionateconservatism #CanadaPensionPlanInvestmentBoard #tellthefedsadcampaignAlberta #Albertarenewablesmoratorium #KidsSaytheDarndestThings #Albertanetzero2050 #Albertapensionplan #carbontaxexemption #CanadaPensionPlan #PierrePoilievre #CBCTheCurrent #DanielleSmith #TuckerCarlson #MattGalloway
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Things toddlers say: “the sky is closing. It’s getting dark in here”, as the clouds pass between the sun causing a shade.
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My child, seeing me smile:
“Will I have bones in my mouth like you, one day, papa?”
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10yo *pouring a bowl of Cheerios*: I'm going to eat O's. It's been many a day since I've had the pleasure.
Apparently we are highbrow today.
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My daughter said I remind her of Scrooge wearing the pajamas that our.hotel is loaning us. 😂🤣
#japan #scrooge #kidssaythedarndestthings #travel -
10yo did not feel great today. I think it's either allergies or a cold. When I asked her to describe specifically how she felt so that I would know what kind of medication (if any,) to give her, she had this to say:
"When I stand up, it feels like my stomach is pouring out of my belly button."
I do not know how to medicate that.
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10yo: Oops, I left the light on again. Goodbye electricity, hellooooo retirement!
🤔
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Took my 5 year old to the movie theater for the first time ever. Her review of The Little Mermaid: “it was loud!” #cinema #kidssaythedarndestthings
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#Overheard #comment—young girl on #Publix #scale:
“Okay I’m over 70 coz of the #cookie I ate!”
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10yo fell off her bike & hit her knee and is now sitting with leg elevated and ice on knee.
10: Mama, what are you doing?
me: trying to find the button to turn off the TV. why, what're *you* doing?
10: sittin' here like a leper
This kid, y'all. 😆🤣
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Condolence cards aren’t as popular as they used to be, but they’re still a nice, tangible piece of support that a grieving person can hold on to. It’s more real than a comment on a Facebook post because it shows you actually put forth some effort.
You can send cards later too. Many times, support is withdrawn after services have concluded. Consider sending a card weeks or months later to remind someone they’re still in your thoughts.
Oh, and I’m not 100% sure on the etiquette for sending a condolence card when you’re “the one who did it.” Any thoughts?
#HisAndHearsePress #Condolences #CondolenceCard #Sympathy #Funeral #GriefAndLoss #FuneralMemes #KidsSayTheDarndestThings
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We had our quarterly family birthday dinner tonight at my Dad's.
Someone had mentioned something about seeing #ducks on the river, to which my 7 year old #nephew piped in:
"You guys, ducks aren't real."
He wasn't goofing off either, he meant it. He said that we imagine them because we expect them to be around.Where do they get this stuff?!
#ducksarenotreal #waitwhat #KidsSayTheDarndestThings
#nephewsarethebest
#foozma73 -
My five-year-old just asked me, "What's a sentence?" I did my best to explain it in a way she could understand, but when I was done, she said, "That's the worst thing I've ever heard."
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No one:
No one at all:
My 5 year old: “Mommy, what do eyeballs taste like?”#HisAndHearsePress #KidsAreWeird #Eyeballs #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #Weird #Cannibalism 👀
