#innocentamericans — Public Fediverse posts

Dear Citizen,

Thank you for your concern about the FBI retaining your #PersonalInformation. We take all complaints seriously, especially ones that highlight the sheer #intelligence and foresight of our #operations. :comfypeekpolice:

Rest assured that the FBI has been retaining #information on innocent #Americans for years, and we have no plans to stop anytime soon. We take great pride in our ability to collect and store vast amounts of #data on individuals without their #knowledge or consent. :blobcatthinksmart:

In fact, we have recently upgraded our #database to include even more personal information, such as your grocery list, favorite #TV shows, and preferred type of #ToiletPaper. So, don't worry, your information is safe with us.

Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention and for trusting us with your privacy. :ablobcatangel:

#TrustTheGovernment #FBI #privacy #innocentAmericans #grocerylist #favoriteTVshows