#inews9k — Public Fediverse posts

#iNews9K BREAKING: Trump suggests Moderna adopt new name, Regresso.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/16/health/rfk-vaccine-manufacturers.html

#iNews9K BREAKING: Judge Merchan asks bailiff to "get the old man a blanket."

#iNews9K WEEK IN REVIEW: How Charlie Brown Became Radicalized.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Trump says he's suing Cohen, Chesebro, Powell, et all, for breach of blood oath. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/26/nyregion/trump-cohen-trial-georgia.html

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Musk, in optimistic memo to X staff, says "I prefer to think of the number of users we have lost as 'signifiCAN'."

#iNews9K BREAKING: Republicans gather on House floor to shoot craps for post of Speaker, with Mike Johnson of Louisiana rolling an 11 on the come-out for the win.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Elon Musk's Wikipedia entry describes him as "a middle school comedian." https://thehill.com/policy/technology/4270360-elon-musk-offers-1m-to-wikipedia-if-theyll-change-their-name/

#iNews9K BREAKING: Search for interim Speaker calls upon Rick Steves impersonator. He comes with all the attendant GOP windbaggage 🛎.

#iNews9K BREAKING: The Kraken Is Caged
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/10/19/sidney-powell-attorney-who-aided-trumps-bid-to-subvert-election-pleads-guilty-00122444

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: After voting against Jordan, Rep. Miller-Meeks on receiving end of telephoned death grunts.
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/politics/2023/10/18/iowa-mariannette-miller-meeks-no-longer-supporting-jim-jordan-for-house-speaker/71228842007/

#iNews9K BREAKING: Jordan blames "unlucky jacket" in first round loss-- will remove it for second ballot-- vows to "remove one item of clothing until I am Speaker."

#iNews9K #SourcesSay: John Lauro is listed as "Babysitter" in Trump Organization personnel records.

#iNews9K BEHIND THE HEADLINES: The kid gloves were made from genuine baby goats-- stalked, killed, and skinned by Donald Trump Joonyer.

#iNews9K GOP DRUNK WEEKLY ADDRESS: Trump reveals himself as accounting nerd—lectures for three hours about how counting political contributions in one's net worth is GAAP compliant. https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/13/politics/trump-presidential-premium-fraud-trial/index.html

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Liberal faculty were screened out using a conservative litmus test, although Desantis doesn't allow it to be called a litmus test because that's science. https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/10/ron-desantis-tried-to-make-a-florida-college-conservative-now-the-students-are-fleeing/

#iNews9K DEAR ISRAEL: Don't go by cosplay in gauging GOP support for Israel aid, they can still vote against it. And then pretend they voted for it.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Greene unveils reelection slogan, "Marjorie Taylor Greene— Reasonably Priced." https://www.rawstory.com/raw-investigates/majorie-taylor-greene-mccarthy-donations/

#iNews9K BREAKING: McCarthy rushed to Walter Reed after being stuck by fork.

#iNews9K BREAKING: McCarthy less popular than vaccines among GOP caucus.

#iNews9K #SourcesSay: Republicans called Democratic members, begging for McCarthy's job— sat, laid down, and rolled over, but retrieved ball only 3 times before being distracted by food.

#iNews9K NEWS FROM THE FUTURE: Trump's courtroom filibuster enters 9th day.

#iNews9K NEWS FROM THE FUTURE: Former Trump lawyer Alina Habba opens nightclub called The Disbar.
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-lawyer-chastized-by-judge/

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Birkenstock value is three times that of beat up old flip-flop Donald Trump. https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/03/investing/birkenstock-ipo-10-billion-valuation

#iNews9K COMPARE & CONTRAST--

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Investigators found the public records stuffed into her cheeks like a squirrel.

#iNews9K OPEN MIC: "Yeah, they still allow me near young girls."

#iNews9K BREAKING: Plastic surgery phase concludes in Trump fraud trial.

#iNews9K #SourcesSay: Why don't Christian activists ever call for crucifixions?

#iNews9K ARCHIVE: Trump helps customer select Happy Meal from McPentagon menu.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Atlantis inaugurates new Aquamarine Line.

#iNews9K WEEK IN REVIEW: “He groomed me!” —Boebert. https://nypost.com/2023/09/16/lauren-boeberts-new-man-owns-gay-friendly-bar-which-hosts-drag-shows/

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Jesse Watters era ending at Fox as Lara Trump tapped to host new program, The No Laughing Zone. https://www.threads.net/@acynig/post/Cv_LZKiuiR7/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

#iNews9K GOP DRUNK WEEKLY ADDRESS: Ronna McDaniel says decades-long secret program by Republican Labs has created Congressman that doesn't scurry under the fridge when you turn on the light. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/29/nyregion/george-santos-washington.html

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: "Just as in real life, one of the problems on Twitter is too many voters. We're going to have to cut a few. Million.

And BTW, we've heard your comments that Twitter needs more bureaucracy. Agreed. It's on the way."

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Greene—"Am I next?

1/ #iNews9K #SourcesSay: What's missing from Marge's graphic are the chainsaws and bulldozers.

2/ TRANSLATION: Marge has a large carbon footprint and a three-toed footprint footprint.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: George Santos releases statement that "I am in mourning due to the passing of my ex-wife."

#iNews9K SHOWBIZ: Trump returns to the movies — Films cameo for remake of "Indecent Proposal" playing billionaire who offers 'big money' to spend the night with man's wife, then reveals the amount is $600 plus upgrade to ocean view suite.

#iNews9K TRANSLATION: Ketchup on the wall.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/writing-on-the-wall-for-trump-as-fulton-county-readies-release-of-records/ar-AA17rdTM