#haikusbymonica — Public Fediverse posts

For some reason, I'm having a ton of trouble finding daily substitute teaching positions (and pay). I spend early mornings refreshing the job list only to find nothing. What's going on? Have teachers suddenly stopped getting sick?

Where are the sub jobs?
Are teachers not getting sick?
Cuts down my earnings.

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher

This brat--who misbehaved in other ways as well--noticed I wrote "Monica DePaul" on the board because writing "Ms. DePaul" is not illegal under transphobic Florida law. He kept calling me "sir" in every interaction and kept trying to get my attention by shouting it across the crowded room. Legally, all I could do was ignore him because correcting him would be considered a lesson on gender politics--though technically agreeing with him and identifying my very femme-presenting self as male would ALSO be a lesson on gender politics, in addition to an outright lie. If only I hadn't gotten banned, and if only DeSantis could stop existing, I wouldn't be stuck dealing with this crap.

Transphobic freshman
He just keeps calling me "sir"
I can't correct him

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher #Transgender #Transphobia #Florida #DeSantis

Every so often, a pedantic kid in a class I'm subbing won't stop pressing me about why I call out last names instead of first names while taking attendance. I can't tell them all of these in class because of Florida law and general anti-trans hate, but here is every reason:
1. They are literally in order by last name, not first. I lose track if I'm calling first. #ADHD
2. Not every student wants to be called their legal first name. If the attendance list gives an alternative, I don't know which is right or if I have permission to use it.
3. I don't want to out or deadname queer kids.
4. There are too many new laws in this state governing what I can say, and I'm taking no chances.
5. This is a high school. You are 14 at minimum. YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOUR LAST NAME IS.
6. Haven't you been called
by your last name in school before? I was. A lot. Why would this be so weird to you?

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher

Because of the free speech-violating expansion of DeSantis' "Don't Say Gay" law to 12th, I'm banned from calling myself Ms. DePaul in class, and I would rather surgically graft myself to an angry skunk than pretend to be a man just to please the fascists running Florida. Therefore, from now on, all current and former students have permission to call me by my legal first name, Monica.

Transphobic school laws
Ban me being Ms. DePaul
Call me Monica

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Transphobia #Trans #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher #Florida #DeSantis #FuckDeSantis

The only high school substitute jobs I'm finding are for half-day positions, but if I take one, I can't see any full-day postings. Otherwise, it's all middle school. And considering I've only gotten transphobic questions when subbing middle school, combined with those new transphobic laws, I don't feel comfortable in a middle school class.

I'm open to jobs
All day at a damn high school
Please post something good

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher

Okay, my roommate and I got approved for the apartment we applied for, but only if we get a co-signer. It's probably because my paystubs were missing time I didn't get paid for during winter break. Of course, a precarious pay situation hinders a stable living situation.

Apartment approved*
Financial complication
*Need a co-signer

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #apartment #moving #Poor #SubstituteTeacher #AffordableHousing

When I tell people I'm trying to get an agent and/or publisher for my book, they too often ask where they can buy it or when it will come out. Um...since when can you buy a book that isn't published? That's not how books work. Since when does "I'm looking for a publisher" mean "You can buy it now"?

No, you can't buy it
Because it's not published yet
This is how books work.

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #book #books #AmQuerying #LiteraryAgent #AuthorLife

A big class in a big room means a lot of shouting just to take attendance.

It's attendance time!
I'm shouting, so listen up!
Class is too damn big...

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Teacher #Teaching #SubstituteTeacher #HighSchool

Getting ghosted by agents and publishers is almost as awful as getting form rejections. At this point, after all the work that's gone into this story and the query package sent to agents, all I can do is wait, hope, and pray that someone will save me from this endless cycle of silence.

Someone publish me
My story dies in silence
Please stop killing me

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Books #Book #AmQuerying #Publishing #LiteraryAgent

Through personal training, I'm learning how to build muscle properly.

Personal training
Ramping up weight-loss efforts
Learning proper form

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Gym #Weightlifting #PersonalTraining #WeightLoss

"I said something asinine about pronouns and referred to trans women as men! Isn't that so funny? If you don't laugh, you hate free speech!"

It's only one joke
Conservative comedy
Unfunny transphobes

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #Conservatives #Republicans #RepublicansAreTheProblem #Comedy #Unfunny #Transphobia

Well, when I don't have substitute work to do, there's not much I can do while at a school if I can't get a cellular signal. But that's what happens when schools are designed like bomb shelters and don't have guest wifi. And yes, I know this is totally a first-world problem.

Cellular dead zone
Classroom designed like bunker
And no guest network

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #wifi #CellPhone #Teacher #SubstituteTeacher

Playing Cyberpunk 2077 has affected how I talk to the point that I refer to billionaires like Musk, Zuckerberg, and Trump, plus all their sycophants, as "corpos." I think everyone critical of the rich should adopt this term. Corpos have made the world a dystopia.

Let's call them corpos
Relevant Cyberpunk Term
For rich oligarchs

#HaikusByMonica #Haiku #Daily #Poetry #Poet #AmWriting #Writer #Author #EatTheRich #corpos #Cyberpunk #Cyberpunk2077 #billionaires