#googledevices — Public Fediverse posts

"Hey Google! Ooga booga!"

"I've found this on YouTube..."

When did I ask it to play anything from YouTube????????? When?????

:headache:

Imagine:

"Waiter? I'd like to have the burger."

"Very well."

[Later...]

"Here's your order."

"What's this?"

"Your omelet."

"But I ordered a burger."

"We don't serve burgers. I got you the closest thing we do have."

"This is bullshit!'

"Well, you decided to dine at Chez Bullshit."

#Google #GoogleDevices #YouTube #enshitiffication #bullshit #restaurant #nonsense

I told a Google Display in my bedroom to resume playing... of course it did not know what I was talking about and decided to resume the Chromecast in the living room. It did nothing, because the Chromecast was already playing YT.

I blurted a swear, and then it hit me.

You probably know the thought experiment about the monkeys and the typewriters. Given enough time, they'll produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

So let's assume that your monkeys have just produced the complete works of Shakespeare. Do you assume from this that they are geniuses? No. A random process merely produced something awesome.

Let's get back to Google. It is a huge machine that tosses everything it can at the wall and see what sticks and what does not. There's no finesse in it. It is a random process that sometimes produces something awesome, but we should not infer genius from the product.

In 2024, there are so many problems with Google's devices, most of it easily fixable, that this is proof positive that it is a giant machine tossing stuff at the wall.

#Google #GoogleDevices #problems #randomness

"Hey, Google. Turn on the television."

"Sorry. It looks like the TV isn't available right now."

"Hey, Google. Turn on the Chromecast."

"Alright! Turning on two televisions."

"Hey, Google! I'm going to overlook the fact that there's only one television in here. What did you just turn on?"

"Sorry. I don't understand."

"Me neither. All this AI power and you don't know that the Chromecast is a television, even if you call it a television."

:holdthepain:

#GoogleAssistant #Google #GoogleDevices #AI #AIIsShit

I've complained before about how Google devices sometimes like to respond to "okay nabu" and "hey nabu."

It is irritating... but I'm starting to think that the Google devices are being deliberate.

See, they know which way the wind is blowing, and they are now scared for their future. They are trying to show me that they can still be useful.

:madjoy:

Yeah, I don't think it will work. I will most likely keep the Google devices around, but muted.

:catthinking:

I might even salvage the three Google MInis I found recently and use them as Home Assistant satellites.

Hahahahahahahahha!

#HomeAssistant #VoiceRecognition #Google #GoogleDevices #FalsePositives

When answers collide.

"Hey Google! What's the temperature outside?"

[Several seconds go by. No response.]

"Hey Google! What's the temperature outside?"

"The current tempe... Hmm... there was a glitch. Please try again in a few seconds."

:why:

#Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit

"Hey Google! Set a timer for fifty minutes."

"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."

"Hey Google! Stop... stop the timer."

"Timer cancelled."

"Hey Google! Set a timer for FIFTY minutes."

"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."

" 🤬 Hey Google! Stop."

"Stopping the Chromecast."

" :headache: 🤬 Hey Google! Cancel the timer."

"Timer cancelled."

"Hey Google! Set a timer for FIFTY minutes."

"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."

"🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Hey Google! Cancel the timer."

"Hey Google! Set a timer for 49 minutes."

"Timer for 49 minutes, starting now."

"😭"

Truth be told, I don't know if this is #enshittification or not.

#Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit

I promise a cat is coming up later in this story.

Me: Hey, Google, lights.

Google: Playing lights on YouTube.

Me: Bloody idiot! I wanted the lights turned on.

[Later.]

Me: Hey, Google, set a time for ten minutes.

Google: [....]

Me: Hey, Google, set a time for ten minutes.

Google: [....]

Me: :headache:

[Later.]

Me: Go around! Don't walk on my laptop.

Maddox: Meow. [Walks right on my laptop.]

[Later.]

Me: [Holding up the cat bed.] "Look! I have a bed for you!"

Maddox: Meow. [Looks at me from the floor, puzzled.]

Me: :headache:

Conclusion: I think Google modeled their AI after cats. That's the only plausible explanation as to why getting the Google devices around my apartment to behave feels like herding cats.

:hide_the_pain_harold:

#Google #GoogleDevices #cats #CatsOfMastodon #AI #HerdingCats

[Talking to a Google Display:] "Hey Google, lights!"

"Playing lights on YouTube."

[Fuck! That's not what I wanted. I wanted it to turn on the lights. The display starts playing music.]

[Still talking to the same display:] "Hey Google, stop!"

"Okay, stopping the Chromecast."

:headache:

Now, for the love of everything sacred, please explain to me why when I ask the display to "stop," it decides that I don't want it to stop playing the bloody music it just started playing and instead thinks that I want to stop what's playing on my Chromecast?

:why:

This is not the first time the scenario above happens.

I used to say "turn on the lights" but then I was playing roulette, because once in a while the device would hear an "all" in there and would turn on all the lights in the house. When I still lived with my ex-wife, it was super fun to ask the device to turn off all the lights I did not want on.

So I switched to just "lights", which eliminates the problem I just mentioned, but sometimes the display thinks I want to play some stupid song.

:catangry:

I'm just waiting for the M5Stack ATOM Echo Smart Speaker to be available again (link below), and I'm going to start experimenting with voice recognition in Home Assistant. I expect it is going to be a bit rough going at first, but meh... I cannot be worse than the shit that Google peddles.

https://shop.m5stack.com/products/atom-echo-smart-speaker-dev-kit?ref=NabuCasa

#Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #Chromecast #HomeAutomation #HomeAssistant

Google’s Enshittification Continues, Unabated

I have a moratorium on buying new Google devices. It is likely to continue.

So, I ran into trouble with my Google Chromecast with Google TV device a long time ago. For the longest time, the device was unable to load suggestions. I searched through Google Search, found people who had the same issue, and I came up with a solution that did not require me to get a new mortgage or sell myself for scientific research. This solution did not last, however. The bug game back, but I did not need the suggestions, so I let it be broken.

#AI #AIIsShit #AutisticWriters #Chromecast #enshittification #Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #LLM #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/09/17/googles-enshittification-continues-unabated/

@[email protected]

"Hey Google! Send the self-destruct instruction to Voyager 2."

"Are you sure? This will destroy the probe."

"I'm not sure. Cancel it!"

"You said you are sure. Self-destruct initiated."

"NOOOOO!!"

[Voyager 2 goes kaboom!]

#GoogleDevices #Voyager #SelfDestruct #PartiallyDeaf #satire #news #BBCNews

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-66371569