#findingyourself — Public Fediverse posts

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly. And in turn, to respect that right in other neurodivergent people with similar experiences who choose a different path.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly. And in turn, to respect that right in other neurodivergent people with similar experiences who choose a different path.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly. And in turn, to respect that right in other neurodivergent people with similar experiences who choose a different path.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly. And in turn, to respect that right in other neurodivergent people with similar experiences who choose a different path.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly. And in turn, to respect that right in other neurodivergent people with similar experiences who choose a different path.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data. No one has the right to make us change, whether we have a diagnosis or not, unless we give it to them.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data. No one has the right to make us change, whether we have a diagnosis or not, unless we give it to them.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data. No one has the right to make us change, whether we have a diagnosis or not, unless we give it to them.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data. No one has the right to make us change, whether we have a diagnosis or not, unless we give it to them.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data. No one has the right to make us change, whether we have a diagnosis or not, unless we give it to them.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

Is it ADHD? Is it autism? Or is it trauma? As Dwayne The Rock Johnson famously said - “IT DOESN’T MATTER” What matters is getting our needs met.

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

Is it ADHD? Is it autism? Or is it trauma? As Dwayne The Rock Johnson famously said - “IT DOESN’T MATTER” What matters is getting our needs met.

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

Is it ADHD? Is it autism? Or is it trauma? As Dwayne The Rock Johnson famously said - “IT DOESN’T MATTER” What matters is getting our needs met.

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

Is it ADHD? Is it autism? Or is it trauma? As Dwayne The Rock Johnson famously said - “IT DOESN’T MATTER” What matters is getting our needs met.

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

We’re Valid Regardless of Diagnosis 💔🩹💖 Our needs are our business

▶ To find links to more content and support me - 🖇lindsaymakesvideos.com🖇

Is it ADHD? Is it autism? Or is it trauma? As Dwayne The Rock Johnson famously said - “IT DOESN’T MATTER” What matters is getting our needs met.

There appears to be an underlying belief that our needs are only valid if they’re justified by the right diagnosis. But these diagnoses should have absolutely zero impact on how we feel about ourselves. At all.

They aren’t the empirical judgment of God Himself. Nor are they comparable to testing positive for lupus, or having a CT scan that reveals a tumor. One day, it may very well be a diagnostic standard to “scan” the brain for definitive markers of neurodivergence, but when that happens, the labels and their criteria will inevitably change accordingly.

The experiences and behaviors we associate with diagnoses ARE things, but diagnoses in and of themselves are not. They’re more like genres. They’re circles around traits drawn by fallible humans, and they change shape every day. Even if our neurodivergence is assessed by an educated professional, that professional is making an educated guess based on these circles. The ‘truth’ is a big blurry mess of genes, environment, and trauma, crashing into each other.

So it’s reasonable, and our right, to decide for ourselves the best way to frame our divergence and care for ourselves accordingly.

WE decide what we want out of life, what aspects of our divergence are in our way, and whether we want to be flexible about our needs.

Others can't POSSIBLY grasp the amount of work that flexibility would take, because we're the only ones with all the relevant data.

#traumahealing #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #autistic #autism #awareness #cptsd #spiritualawakening #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #selfwork #findingyourself #healing #asd #adhd

Unintended Harm: Are We Still Accountable? 💔🩹💖

As autistic people we have been punished mercilessly for crimes we had no idea we were committing, so it’s natural for us to feel like it’s totally unfair to be held accountable for harm we couldn’t have possibly predicted.

Nonetheless, it is vital to our healing, and our sanity, that we hold ourselves accountable for harm whether we intended it or not. Because if we carry the belief that feeling wronged is only valid if the wrongdoer intended it, then we’ll believe our OWN feelings of being wronged are only valid if the wrongdoer intended it. And since we NEED our feelings to be valid, we’ll NEED the wrongdoer to have intent, so we’ll end up pinning intent on people who just didn’t know any better.

Instead of thinking of it as admitting fault, think of it as acknowledging harm. We need to stop being lawyers and start being humans. Yes, we didn’t know better, we couldn’t have been expected to know better, we did the best we knew how to do - but - we recognize, and care, that someone got hurt, and we wish that hadn’t happened.

If we don’t apologize for unintended harm, the harmed party learns we care more about being right than we do about their pain. People don’t feel safe around people who don’t care whether they suffer or not, and that’s perfectly reasonable.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #weareallconnected #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy

Unintended Harm: Are We Still Accountable? 💔🩹💖

As autistic people we have been punished mercilessly for crimes we had no idea we were committing, so it’s natural for us to feel like it’s totally unfair to be held accountable for harm we couldn’t have possibly predicted.

Nonetheless, it is vital to our healing, and our sanity, that we hold ourselves accountable for harm whether we intended it or not. Because if we carry the belief that feeling wronged is only valid if the wrongdoer intended it, then we’ll believe our OWN feelings of being wronged are only valid if the wrongdoer intended it. And since we NEED our feelings to be valid, we’ll NEED the wrongdoer to have intent, so we’ll end up pinning intent on people who just didn’t know any better.

Instead of thinking of it as admitting fault, think of it as acknowledging harm. We need to stop being lawyers and start being humans. Yes, we didn’t know better, we couldn’t have been expected to know better, we did the best we knew how to do - but - we recognize, and care, that someone got hurt, and we wish that hadn’t happened.

If we don’t apologize for unintended harm, the harmed party learns we care more about being right than we do about their pain. People don’t feel safe around people who don’t care whether they suffer or not, and that’s perfectly reasonable.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #weareallconnected #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy