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#estateagents — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #estateagents, aggregated by home.social.

  1. The age when people in the UK’s aspirations to own a home ‘fade sharply’

    Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The…
    #EuropeSays #Britain #Europe #EU #UK #estateagents #Horizontal #rate #RealEstate #UnitedKingdom
    europesays.com/britain/78745/

  2. Midlands lead Britain’s quick-sale property market, says House Buyer Bureau – The Intermediary

    The East and West Midlands have emerged as Britain’s leading quick-sale property markets, according to new analysis from…
    #EuropeSays #Britain #Europe #EU #Buy-to-let #estateagents #HouseBuyerBureau #houseprices #research #ResidentialMortgages
    europesays.com/britain/69327/

  3. Values fall in prime London as price reductions hit record high

    Values of homes in prime areas of London fell yet again last month, albeit at a slower pace…
    #London #UnitedKingdom #UK #GB #England #Headlines #News #Europe #EU #Britain #EstateAgents #GreatBritain #house-price-index #london #Londonproperty
    europesays.com/uk/1033464/

  4. Values fall in prime London as price reductions hit record high

    Values of homes in prime areas of London fell yet again last month, albeit at a slower pace…
    #EuropeSays #Britain #Europe #EU #London #estateagents #HousePriceIndex #londonproperty
    europesays.com/britain/65291/

  5. Prison Cell to Let: The Ultimate in Brutalist Micro-Suites 🚓

    Real Estate Bastard Enterprises Ltd. is utterly shit your pants delighted to announce our latest property on the market. Located in Preston city centre in an active prison, this gated community prison cell to rent is a delight from top to bottom.

    Live out your Shawshank Redemption fantasies at competitive monthly rates, with a “lively” community of convicts right on your doorstep. Book your viewing today! This prison cell won’t be on the market for long.

    The Slab & Iron Suite: Luxury Prison Cell Living Done Right

    • Only £2,800 p/m
    • NO BILLS INCLUDED
    • NO PETS
    • Full-service meal plan funded by public taxes
    • Open-concept bathing for nudist enthusiasts
    • Industrial floor-to-ceiling iron accents for in-cell security
    • Biometric security from 24/7 on-site guards
    • Curated social network of convicted criminals

    The lease for this property is available immediately, but includes a No-Early Termination clause. This clause is strictly enforced by the state and is non-negotiable until the tenant has served a 5-10 year sentence.

    Tenants concerned about the lack of privacy should remember we live in a society dominated by CCTV security recordings and 24/7 rolling social media feeds. Thus… what even truly is privacy in this day and age? Think about it.

    With a cost-effective rent of a mere £2,8000 p/m remember this is all-inclusive of uniforms and orange couture provided by the state. You will also have a solitary bed to yourself, a sink, and a “shitter” (as the inmates call them) for your personal ablution needs.

    For leisure activities and exercise, tenants are welcome to a one-hour daily window using The Yard. This is a 15ft by 15ft concrete exercise area with an armed guard watching over your every move.

    As for commuting to your daily job, you’re allowed to do this but must be strip searched on leaving/entering the property to ensure you don’t have:

    • Drugs
    • Weapons
    • Bubble gum

    If you’re found, in particular, to have any brand of bubble gum this’ll be taken out back and detonated with Semtex.

    Please note, you must also wear your prisoner uniform in and around your day/job to confirm your status as a prisoner/tenant. This does mean some police officers out on the police may mistake you for an escaped convict and taser you to the ground while your scream like a big girl.

    Former Tenant Testimonial

    “I’m Derek and I moved into Cell 402 in May 2022. During my wonderful stay in this prison cell I made many friends, was stabbed 25 times in 24 months by inmates, and was even headbutted by a guard! Other than that, there are few distractions other than a window, plus free Wi-Fi access that’s restricted to 30 minutes a day for ‘educational time’ and I wasn’t allowed to access pornography, which made me heavily repressed and a little weird tbh. Oh yeah, I had to move out of the property in April 2026 because I headbutted a guard and will now be serving a six-month prison sentence in Cell 502 one floor up. We’ll be neighbours!” Prisoner 839201, former Brand Manager for Violent Vaping Enterprises Ltd.

    #Business #Capitalism #estateAgents #Home #Humor #renting #Satire #satirical #Silly #tenant
  6. Prison Cell to Let: The Ultimate in Brutalist Micro-Suites 🚓

    Real Estate Bastard Enterprises Ltd. is utterly shit your pants delighted to announce our latest property on the market. Located in Preston city centre in an active prison, this gated community prison cell to rent is a delight from top to bottom.

    Live out your Shawshank Redemption fantasies at competitive monthly rates, with a “lively” community of convicts right on your doorstep. Book your viewing today! This prison cell won’t be on the market for long.

    The Slab & Iron Suite: Luxury Prison Cell Living Done Right

    • Only £2,800 p/m
    • NO BILLS INCLUDED
    • NO PETS
    • Full-service meal plan funded by public taxes
    • Open-concept bathing for nudist enthusiasts
    • Industrial floor-to-ceiling iron accents for in-cell security
    • Biometric security from 24/7 on-site guards
    • Curated social network of convicted criminals

    The lease for this property is available immediately, but includes a No-Early Termination clause. This clause is strictly enforced by the state and is non-negotiable until the tenant has served a 5-10 year sentence.

    Tenants concerned about the lack of privacy should remember we live in a society dominated by CCTV security recordings and 24/7 rolling social media feeds. Thus… what even truly is privacy in this day and age? Think about it.

    With a cost-effective rent of a mere £2,8000 p/m remember this is all-inclusive of uniforms and orange couture provided by the state. You will also have a solitary bed to yourself, a sink, and a “shitter” (as the inmates call them) for your personal ablution needs.

    For leisure activities and exercise, tenants are welcome to a one-hour daily window using The Yard. This is a 15ft by 15ft concrete exercise area with an armed guard watching over your every move.

    As for commuting to your daily job, you’re allowed to do this but must be strip searched on leaving/entering the property to ensure you don’t have:

    • Drugs
    • Weapons
    • Bubble gum

    If you’re found, in particular, to have any brand of bubble gum this’ll be taken out back and detonated with Semtex.

    Please note, you must also wear your prisoner uniform in and around your day/job to confirm your status as a prisoner/tenant. This does mean some police officers out on the police may mistake you for an escaped convict and taser you to the ground while your scream like a big girl.

    Former Tenant Testimonial

    “I’m Derek and I moved into Cell 402 in May 2022. During my wonderful stay in this prison cell I made many friends, was stabbed 25 times in 24 months by inmates, and was even headbutted by a guard! Other than that, there are few distractions other than a window, plus free Wi-Fi access that’s restricted to 30 minutes a day for ‘educational time’ and I wasn’t allowed to access pornography, which made me heavily repressed and a little weird tbh. Oh yeah, I had to move out of the property in April 2026 because I headbutted a guard and will now be serving a six-month prison sentence in Cell 502 one floor up. We’ll be neighbours!” Prisoner 839201, former Brand Manager for Violent Vaping Enterprises Ltd.

    #Business #Capitalism #estateAgents #Home #Humor #renting #Satire #satirical #Silly #tenant
  7. Lettings account for 65% of London agency chain’s revenue

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    #London #UnitedKingdom #UK #GB #England #Headlines #News #Europe #EU #Britain #EstateAgents #GreatBritain #LettingAgents #london
    europesays.com/uk/800139/

  8. Agency shuts offices outside London at short notice

    By using this website, you agree to our use of cookies to enhance your experience. X .ur-form-grid{ width:…
    #UnitedKingdom #UK #Europe #EU #EstateAgents #GreatBritain #LettingAgents #London #RegionalInsights
    europesays.com/2808790/

  9. Hamptons returns to television with national campaign

    Estate agency Hamptons has launched a television advertising campaign across its 85-branch network, marking its third return to…
    #London #UnitedKingdom #UK #GB #England #Headlines #News #Europe #EU #Britain #EstateAgents #GreatBritain #london #marketing #propertymarket
    europesays.com/uk/754218/

  10. The derelict McCarthy’s Garage as it was in 2021 in Schull, Co Cork. The building today is very different, but it’s still pink! I have a few photos of the old petrol pumps that stood outside the building somewhere on this site, going further back in time.

    The slate roof visible on the McCarthy’s building is typical of traditional Irish architecture. Irish slate was quarried extensively in counties like Valentia Island in Kerry and was prized for its durability and weather resistance, often lasting well over 100 years when properly maintained, which explains why so many original slate roofs still grace Irish buildings today.

    Apertureƒ/4CameraILCE-7M3Focal length16mmISO160Shutter speed1/500s

    #Cork #CountyCork #DNG #estateAgents #Ireland #IrishArchitecture #McCarthyS #Photo #Photography #pinkBuilding #Schull #ShellServiceStation #soldProperty #StreetPhotography #terracedHouses

  11. The derelict McCarthy’s Garage as it was in 2021 in Schull, Co Cork. The building today is very different, but it’s still pink! I have a few photos of the old petrol pumps that stood outside the building somewhere on this site, going further back in time.

    The slate roof visible on the McCarthy’s building is typical of traditional Irish architecture. Irish slate was quarried extensively in counties like Valentia Island in Kerry and was prized for its durability and weather resistance, often lasting well over 100 years when properly maintained, which explains why so many original slate roofs still grace Irish buildings today.

    Apertureƒ/4CameraILCE-7M3Focal length16mmISO160Shutter speed1/500s

    #Cork #CountyCork #DNG #estateAgents #Ireland #IrishArchitecture #McCarthyS #Photo #Photography #pinkBuilding #Schull #ShellServiceStation #soldProperty #StreetPhotography #terracedHouses

  12. The derelict McCarthy’s Garage as it was in 2021 in Schull, Co Cork. The building today is very different, but it’s still pink! I have a few photos of the old petrol pumps that stood outside the building somewhere on this site, going further back in time.

    The slate roof visible on the McCarthy’s building is typical of traditional Irish architecture. Irish slate was quarried extensively in counties like Valentia Island in Kerry and was prized for its durability and weather resistance, often lasting well over 100 years when properly maintained, which explains why so many original slate roofs still grace Irish buildings today.

    Apertureƒ/4CameraILCE-7M3Focal length16mmISO160Shutter speed1/500s

    #Cork #CountyCork #DNG #estateAgents #Ireland #IrishArchitecture #McCarthyS #Photo #Photography #pinkBuilding #Schull #ShellServiceStation #soldProperty #StreetPhotography #terracedHouses

  13. The derelict McCarthy’s Garage as it was in 2021 in Schull, Co Cork. The building today is very different, but it’s still pink! I have a few photos of the old petrol pumps that stood outside the building somewhere on this site, going further back in time.

    The slate roof visible on the McCarthy’s building is typical of traditional Irish architecture. Irish slate was quarried extensively in counties like Valentia Island in Kerry and was prized for its durability and weather resistance, often lasting well over 100 years when properly maintained, which explains why so many original slate roofs still grace Irish buildings today.

    Apertureƒ/4CameraILCE-7M3Focal length16mmISO160Shutter speed1/500s

    #Cork #CountyCork #DNG #estateAgents #Ireland #IrishArchitecture #McCarthyS #Photo #Photography #pinkBuilding #Schull #ShellServiceStation #soldProperty #StreetPhotography #terracedHouses

  14. CW: #Trust #Quote 💬 "Do not trust Politicians, Bankers, Estate Agents or top-tier Civil Servants."

    #Quote 💬 by Rgp,/ @rgp15650 (see profile)
    Author of political satire & other genres.

    ===========
    MY COMMENTS
    ===========

    #Finance, #Money etc is all about processing people and pushing them toward #profit (and eventual loss for whole society as it get more #expensive).

    I see all those listed in this quote as a kind of 'rinse and repeat' processing of people and planet, constantly #reselling and upping the costs as their #job (backed by the state) and to rake in the money and transaction costs / taxes / profits... Almost useless process and therefore people.

    #Politicians, #Banks / #Bankers, #EstateAgents #State #CivilServants
    #Quotes from #FreeSchool

  15. Brendan Thomas, head of Australia's financial crimes watchdog #Austrac, stated that current laws make #Australia appealing for #criminals to store their wealth. Speaking at the National Press Club on Tuesday, Thomas highlighted upcoming reforms requiring real #estateagents, lawyers, and accountants to report suspicious activity. The government plans to introduce this legislation by the end of the year. Notably, Australia, along with the US, China, Russia, and Haiti, has yet to enact these laws. #moneylaundering

    news.com.au/national/crime/aus

  16. Brendan Thomas, head of Australia's financial crimes watchdog #Austrac, stated that current laws make #Australia appealing for #criminals to store their wealth. Speaking at the National Press Club on Tuesday, Thomas highlighted upcoming reforms requiring real #estateagents, lawyers, and accountants to report suspicious activity. The government plans to introduce this legislation by the end of the year. Notably, Australia, along with the US, China, Russia, and Haiti, has yet to enact these laws. #moneylaundering

    news.com.au/national/crime/aus

  17. Brendan Thomas, head of Australia's financial crimes watchdog #Austrac, stated that current laws make #Australia appealing for #criminals to store their wealth. Speaking at the National Press Club on Tuesday, Thomas highlighted upcoming reforms requiring real #estateagents, lawyers, and accountants to report suspicious activity. The government plans to introduce this legislation by the end of the year. Notably, Australia, along with the US, China, Russia, and Haiti, has yet to enact these laws. #moneylaundering

    news.com.au/national/crime/aus

  18. Brendan Thomas, head of Australia's financial crimes watchdog #Austrac, stated that current laws make #Australia appealing for #criminals to store their wealth. Speaking at the National Press Club on Tuesday, Thomas highlighted upcoming reforms requiring real #estateagents, lawyers, and accountants to report suspicious activity. The government plans to introduce this legislation by the end of the year. Notably, Australia, along with the US, China, Russia, and Haiti, has yet to enact these laws. #moneylaundering

    news.com.au/national/crime/aus

  19. I'm #TheSame; but with #EstateAgents / #Realtors... | #OverReactionForFun

    🧙:Polymaths:​🤖:wolfparty:​🤖:Polymaths:​🧙 | :fediverse:​🦹:halflife:​🦄:halflife:​🦹:fediverse:

  20. I'm #TheSame; but with #EstateAgents / #Realtors... | #OverReactionForFun

    🧙:Polymaths:​🤖:wolfparty:​🤖:Polymaths:​🧙 | :fediverse:​🦹:halflife:​🦄:halflife:​🦹:fediverse:

  21. I'm #TheSame; but with #EstateAgents / #Realtors... | #OverReactionForFun

    🧙:Polymaths:​🤖:wolfparty:​🤖:Polymaths:​🧙 | :fediverse:​🦹:halflife:​🦄:halflife:​🦹:fediverse: