#estateagent — Public Fediverse posts

Cement Mixer to Let: Ultra-Modernised Rotating Studio 🧱

Real Estate Bastards Enterprises Ltd. is giddy as all hell to reveal the Slurry Studio, located at 301 on Gray Matter Manor in Bolton of Greater Manchester.

Viewings are available immediately, but MOVE FAST! This £3,001 p/m zero mod cons property won’t be on the market for long. It HAS to be seen to be believed. Please note: No Star Trek (Trekkies) fanboys and/or Star Wars fanatics are allowed viewings as we DETEST pathetic, wastrel geeks like you. GET A LIFE.

A Whirlwind of Living in The Slurry Studio

• £3,001 p/m
• NO PETS
• NO BILLS INCLUDED
• £10,000 DEPOSIT
• 360° degree living
• Dynamic floor plan that moves you
• Minimalist design
• A bit like a hammock, but not
• Low carbon footprint living
• Ideal for construction site workers

If you’re a big hairy construction site worker, you’ll just LOVE this cement mixer. It’s minimalist living at its finest. No nonsense, says it how it is, you just climb into the spinning bowl and you’re all set for a good night of kip.

Once you turn the contraption on*, that’s when the Slurry Studio takes on a life of its own.

Part soothing massage, part G-force centrifugal training session, the Slurry Studio is compact living done right. Located in a random side street in Bolton, the cement mixer is only a 24 minute walk from the train station, with a strong possibility you’ll probably get mugged on your way there to kickstart your day.

Also, to be clear, no free bags of cement are included with this property.

*Please note: Our estate agent, and the landlord, waive all legal responsibility for the inevitable dizziness induced by this property. Motion sickness may also be another issue, as well an overwhelming desire to spend no time in the property. The deposit is not refundable and 

A Note From The Slurry Studio’s Previous Tenant

Most tenants only stay in the Slurry Studio for a few months before moving out (we can’t work out why, though). Some of them mysteriously die before being able to leave tenant feedback, but one survivor below was eager to pen his delighted thoughts to us.

“DONT. DONT LIVE HEAR. the slurry studio ruined my life. i moved in in the summer of 2025 and shit a brick i dint now what i where letting meself in for. first night when the spinning kicked in and cement were getting all over me and i was breathing in cement fumes, spinning around (like that kylie song) and i got dizzy, chucked up quite a bit and what done and did had a bangin headache by 5am. it we’re so bad i immediately handed in me tenancy end notice and know led a happy life homeless. its preferable to that BASTARD cement mixer”

Please note, this former tenant published his review across various online review platforms. We’ve since realised this is negative feedback and have begun a violent retribution campaign against him. We’re suing him for:

• Defamation
• Slander
• Harassment
• Gross misconduct
• Arson
• Gross indecency
• War crimes
• Crimes against humanity
• Being a prick

Real Estate Bastards Enterprises Ltd. doesn’t take negative feedback lightly. You have been warned.

Cement Mixer to Let: Ultra-Modernised Rotating Studio 🧱

Real Estate Bastards Enterprises Ltd. is giddy as all hell to reveal the Slurry Studio, located at 301 on Gray Matter Manor in Bolton of Greater Manchester.

Viewings are available immediately, but MOVE FAST! This £3,001 p/m zero mod cons property won’t be on the market for long. It HAS to be seen to be believed. Please note: No Star Trek (Trekkies) fanboys and/or Star Wars fanatics are allowed viewings as we DETEST pathetic, wastrel geeks like you. GET A LIFE.

A Whirlwind of Living in The Slurry Studio

• £3,001 p/m
• NO PETS
• NO BILLS INCLUDED
• £10,000 DEPOSIT
• 360° degree living
• Dynamic floor plan that moves you
• Minimalist design
• A bit like a hammock, but not
• Low carbon footprint living
• Ideal for construction site workers

If you’re a big hairy construction site worker, you’ll just LOVE this cement mixer. It’s minimalist living at its finest. No nonsense, says it how it is, you just climb into the spinning bowl and you’re all set for a good night of kip.

Once you turn the contraption on*, that’s when the Slurry Studio takes on a life of its own.

Part soothing massage, part G-force centrifugal training session, the Slurry Studio is compact living done right. Located in a random side street in Bolton, the cement mixer is only a 24 minute walk from the train station, with a strong possibility you’ll probably get mugged on your way there to kickstart your day.

Also, to be clear, no free bags of cement are included with this property.

*Please note: Our estate agent, and the landlord, waive all legal responsibility for the inevitable dizziness induced by this property. Motion sickness may also be another issue, as well an overwhelming desire to spend no time in the property. The deposit is not refundable and 

A Note From The Slurry Studio’s Previous Tenant

Most tenants only stay in the Slurry Studio for a few months before moving out (we can’t work out why, though). Some of them mysteriously die before being able to leave tenant feedback, but one survivor below was eager to pen his delighted thoughts to us.

“DONT. DONT LIVE HEAR. the slurry studio ruined my life. i moved in in the summer of 2025 and shit a brick i dint now what i where letting meself in for. first night when the spinning kicked in and cement were getting all over me and i was breathing in cement fumes, spinning around (like that kylie song) and i got dizzy, chucked up quite a bit and what done and did had a bangin headache by 5am. it we’re so bad i immediately handed in me tenancy end notice and know led a happy life homeless. its preferable to that BASTARD cement mixer”

Please note, this former tenant published his review across various online review platforms. We’ve since realised this is negative feedback and have begun a violent retribution campaign against him. We’re suing him for:

• Defamation
• Slander
• Harassment
• Gross misconduct
• Arson
• Gross indecency
• War crimes
• Crimes against humanity
• Being a prick

Real Estate Bastards Enterprises Ltd. doesn’t take negative feedback lightly. You have been warned.

Lomond expands into Liverpool with acquisition of Homesure

Lomond has continued its strategic expansion across the UK’s private rental sector with the acquisition of Liverpool-based lettings…
#Liverpool #UnitedKingdom #UK #GB #England #Headlines #News #Europe #EU #Britain #Estateagent #GreatBritain #homesure #Lomond #property
https://www.europesays.com/uk/806855/

https://www.europesays.com/uk/806855/ Lomond expands into Liverpool with acquisition of Homesure #Britain #England #EstateAgent #GreatBritain #homesure #Liverpool #Lomond #property #UK #UnitedKingdom

https://www.laviezine.com/1493242/property-for-sale-house-with-flexible-accommodation-near-to-josselin-in-brittany-cls03034/ Property For Sale – House with Flexible Accommodation near to Josselin in Brittany – CLS03034 #agents #currency #CurrencyExchange #estate #EstateAgent #for #France #FranceDestinations #FranceTour #FranceTravel #FranceTrip #FranceVacation #french #FX #immobilier #in #JosselinFranceTour #mortgages #PlacesToTravel #property #realtor #Sale

https://www.laviezine.com/1493242/property-for-sale-house-with-flexible-accommodation-near-to-josselin-in-brittany-cls03034/ Property For Sale – House with Flexible Accommodation near to Josselin in Brittany – CLS03034 #agents #currency #CurrencyExchange #estate #EstateAgent #for #France #FranceDestinations #FranceTour #FranceTravel #FranceTrip #FranceVacation #french #FX #immobilier #in #JosselinFranceTour #mortgages #PlacesToTravel #property #realtor #Sale

Prince Harry’s ex-school friend issues scathing verdict on Canada trip | Royal | News

Prince Harry’s old school friend has given his honest opinion of the Duke of Sussex being selected as…
#RoyalFamilies #Royal #Royals #Europe #Europa #EU #Canada #Canadatrip #Estateagent #keynotespeaker #PrinceHarry #realestateconference #royal #RoyalFamily #royals
https://www.europesays.com/2584197/

Looking for a reliable estate agent in Ilford? 🏡 Check out Estate Agents Ilford https://estateagentsilford.co.uk/ for expert property services in your area! Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, we provide personalized advice and top-tier support. #RealEstate #EstateAgent #Ilford

#GoodMorningEarlyTooters and #HappyHappy #MondayAgain...

#IT's #ComeRoundQuickly #Again, aye... | #LookNoQuestionMark

What's #ThatFeeling when you're #Being50Something, #MortgageFree and #YouKnow in your #HeartOfHearts that you #NeverNeed to #Speak to another #EstateAgent / #Realtor... #EverEverAgain... | #StillNoQuestionMark

And, #QuoteToots; #StillQuiteCool

🧙:fediverse:🤖:wolfparty:🤖:fediverse:​🧙 | :PirateBadge:🐘🦹🦄🦹🐘:PirateBadge:

https://vmst.io/@PSiReN/110544367294356941

https://www.europesays.com/uk/241232/ The UK’s ‘cheapest’ seaside town with homes on sale for as little as £21k | UK | News #Britain #England #EstateAgent #GlasgowStays #GreatBritain #History(section) #Housing #NorthernIreland #Property(section) #Scotland #UK #UnitedKingdom #Wales

“I would 100% recommend PropWorx, especially if you want automation & all property tools in one system.”

✅ Automated invoicing
✅ Smart Payments
✅ Easy lease tracking & renewals
✅ Everything in one place

🔗 https://mypropworx.com/book-a-demo/

#PropWorx #EstateAgent

PropWorx offers a simple and complete audit solution that consolidates all your financial data into one system.

✅ Unified System: Manage all your financial accounts in one place.
✅ Complete Reports: Get all the audit-required reports effortlessly.
✅ Efficient Auditing: Streamline your audit process with ease.

🌐 www.mypropworx.com

#PropertyManagement #AuditSolution #PropTech #RealEstate #FinancialManagement #EstateAgent #PropertyManager #PropertyAccountant #CRM

Looking for internal and aerial property imaging?

We offer full packages, with unlimited images including ground and aerial shots.

Commercial long-term set price packages available for Estate and Letting Agents in Cumbria, know how much the cost will be for easy quoting.

www.cumbriaskyscapes.co.uk
FB @cumbriaskyscape
Instagram @cumbriaskyscape

#estateagent #lettingagent #propertyphotography #propertyphotographer #dronephotography #aerialphotography #cumbria #housesales

Thank you for trusting us with your property management needs!

✅ Unified System: Manage all your financial accounts in one place.
✅ Complete Reports: Get all the audit-required reports effortlessly.
✅ Efficient Auditing: Streamline your audit process with ease.

🌐 www.mypropworx.com

#PropertyManagement #AuditSolution #PropTech #RealEstate #FinancialManagement #EstateAgent #PropertyManager #PropertyAccountant #CRM

PropWorx offers a simple and complete audit solution that consolidates all your financial data into one system. Whether you are an estate agent, property manager, or property accountant, our software allows you to manage all your cashbooks and bank accounts.

✅ Unified System
✅ Complete Reports
✅ Efficient Auditing

🌐 www.mypropworx.com

#PropertyManagement #AuditSolution #PropTech #RealEstate #FinancialManagement #EstateAgent #PropertyManager #PropertyAccountant #CRM

Watch full video at https://youtu.be/rO4cKShWRSA

Slowly Renting Out the Neighborhood | Estate Agent Simulator

#EstateAgent #SimGame #IndieGame #LetsPlay #InAwe #Ad #Sponsored

Watch full video at https://youtu.be/f3zLJm8pNXk

Becoming the Only Real Estate Agent in Town! | Estate Agent Simulator

Affiliate Link: https://lurk.ly/ew_OKh

#EstateAgent #SimGame #IndieGame #LetsPlay #InAwe #Ad #Sponsored

Looking for internal and aerial property imaging?

We offer full packages, with unlimited images including ground and aerial shots.

Commercial long-term set price packages available for Estate and Letting Agents in Cumbria, know how much the cost will be for easy quoting.

www.cumbriaskyscapes.co.uk
FB @cumbriaskyscape
Instagram @cumbriaskyscape

#estateagent #lettingagent #propertyphotography #propertyphotographer #dronephotography #aerialphotography #cumbria #housesales

Looking for internal and aerial property imaging?

We offer full packages, with unlimited images including ground and aerial shots.

Commercial long-term set price packages available for Estate and Letting Agents in Cumbria, know how much the cost will be for easy quoting.

www.cumbriaskyscapes.co.uk
FB @cumbriaskyscape
Instagram @cumbriaskyscape

#estateagent #lettingagent #propertyphotography #propertyphotographer #dronephotography #aerialphotography #cumbria #housesales

Looking for internal and aerial property imaging?

We offer full packages, with unlimited images including ground and aerial shots.

Commercial long-term set price packages available for Estate and Letting Agents in Cumbria, know how much the cost will be for easy quoting.

www.cumbriaskyscapes.co.uk
FB @cumbriaskyscape
Instagram @cumbriaskyscape

#estateagent #lettingagent #propertyphotography #propertyphotographer #dronephotography #aerialphotography #cumbria #housesales

Looking for internal and aerial property imaging?

We offer full packages, with unlimited images including ground and aerial shots.

Commercial long-term set price packages available for Estate and Letting Agents in Cumbria, know how much the cost will be for easy quoting.

www.cumbriaskyscapes.co.uk
FB @cumbriaskyscape
Instagram @cumbriaskyscape

#estateagent #lettingagent #propertyphotography #propertyphotographer #dronephotography #aerialphotography #cumbria #housesales