#dysphoria — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #dysphoria, aggregated by home.social.
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could somemany provide alt text for this? We wrote a cery detailed one, but hit cancel, and now we're out of energy and feel discouraged
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Please read our pronouns before interacting
#trans, #transgender, #dysphoria, #feminity, #altTextNeeded -
could somemany provide alt text for this? We wrote a cery detailed one, but hit cancel, and now we're out of energy and feel discouraged
___
Please read our pronouns before interacting
#trans, #transgender, #dysphoria, #feminity, #altTextNeeded -
One of the shifts I’ve observed in myself in this era of #misinformation and #vibecoding is a hard swing back toward #embodied activities and #mysticism, i.e. the witchy stuff.
Five years back my whole personality was perfecting code and getting praised for it whilst remaining as invisible to the world as possible. I stayed in my head because that way street harassment and #dysphoria didn’t hurt as much. I was utterly committed to being rational and sensible and convinced I lived in a world where logic and facts were ultimately in charge.
But they’re not, are they?
Something cracked in that hard shell when I started #singing again, and that soupy mess inside it had changed. My choir sisters and my song circle gently coaxed me out of there over a couple of years. (Also, I fell in love. Like, hard. There are fewer things more transformative.)
All of this was magical in itself. But it also felt like an existential risk, that in reclaiming all this I’d ultimately be cast out of the modest place of safety I’d found in writing software. That fear came true for me this year, and I don’t yet know if I’ll make it back in. Even if I do, I don’t think it’ll be ‘safe’ any more: precarity is a way of life now.
But it feels to me like the whole industry has, at this point, also turned its back on rationality.
So my #jobhunt effort is now informed by a daily #tarot pull, and my engineering efforts might be assisted by a bit of improvised #chaosMagic - how’s that so different from the stochastic output of an LLM and the smoke and mirrors of the tech industry, or for that matter mainstream politics?
We’re _not_ rational beings. We’re dancing points of impossible light and darkness, made of matter that’s mostly empty space, improbable beings of living language existing at an extraordinary nexus of life-and-death planetary events.
We can’t even draw a simple circle without irrational numbers.
So I’m absolutely going to keep embracing the witchy shit, and enjoy the ride.
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My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
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My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
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CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
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Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #GenderExpression #identity #nonbinary #trans -
Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #fiction #GenderExpression #identity #life #marvel #nonbinary #trans -
CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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Dysphoria, a play in one act
"You should do this."
"Why?"
"Because you are a man, of course!"
"I've got a counterproposal."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You should shut up."
"Oh yeah? And why is this?"
"Because you are a jerk, of course."
[Curtain]
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Gremlins have been biting my ovaries all day and I don't much care for it.
As a trans man who's been on testosterone for 19 years, this pain should not be occurring.
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Gremlins have been biting my ovaries all day and I don't much care for it.
As a trans man who's been on testosterone for 19 years, this pain should not be occurring.
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It is wild what dysphoria can do to you.
For years, I refused to wear shorts outside no matter how hot it was, just because I felt terrible about my body. Today, I will go out in shorts for the first time in ages, and I still feel nervous about it even though I know most people will now view me as a dude.
I am still fat, and still me. But now I am determined to let go of those restrictions I held onto for so long just because dysphoria made me feel so bad all the time.
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It is wild what dysphoria can do to you.
For years, I refused to wear shorts outside no matter how hot it was, just because I felt terrible about my body. Today, I will go out in shorts for the first time in ages, and I still feel nervous about it even though I know most people will now view me as a dude.
I am still fat, and still me. But now I am determined to let go of those restrictions I held onto for so long just because dysphoria made me feel so bad all the time.
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Is there music that alleviates your dysphoria?
https://piefed.blahaj.zone/c/mtf/p/829848/is-there-music-that-alleviates-your-dysphoria
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Is there music that alleviates your dysphoria?
https://piefed.blahaj.zone/c/mtf/p/829848/is-there-music-that-alleviates-your-dysphoria
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Ich mochte schon immer übergroße Kleidung. Vor allem Pullis. Die haben so einen Kuschel-Vibe.
Jahrelang dachte ich, dass ich einfach nur den Skater-Stil aus den 90ern mag. Dann hab ich meine Gender-Dysphorie entdeckt und bemerkt, dass ich übergroße Kleidung mag, weil sie meinen Körper verdeckt.
In meinem Dysphoria-Pulli bin ich formlos, kann alles sein und mich darin verstecken wie in einem Schildkrötenpanzer
Außerdem ist er kuschelig.
#transgender #dysphoria -
Ich mag Spiegel nicht. Klar schau ich regelmäßig in einen rein. Muss ja. Körperpflege ist wichtig.
Immer wenn ich mein Spiegelbild sehe, sehe ich nicht mich. Also ich sehe schon die Person die ich bin, aber es fühlt sich irgendwie falsch an. Wie im Charaktermenü von Fallout3.
Ja, das bin ich, aber eben nur dieser Fleischanzug den ich durch die Gegend steuere. Ein Gesicht das mich an einen ungeliebten Vorfahren erinnert und ein Bart der einen Teil verdeckt.
Aber nicht ich.
#transgender #dysphoria -
Mother Earth herself reels with dysphoria as her true self is stripped away and smothered by the petrosexoracial regime's teleological violence. We will live in constant contradiction until we collectively adopt an ecological mindset. #dysphoria #dysphoriamundi #socialecology #ecology
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CW: Strange epiphany involving Transphobia, Misogyny, Gamers™, Twitter, Dysphoria
Because I was a bored little weirdo I went over to Twitter's rotting corpse to see what kind of bullshit was going on there. Looks like Gamers™ are angry about how another woman looks in a game and like... in a weird kind of way... it helped my dysphoria.
These fuckers are just dripping in misogyny... society is dripping in misogyny... I realized that their definition of woman is literally just "airbrushed perfection I want to fuck". It has nothing to do with the typical arguments about gametes or chromosomes... they say that... but it's literally just "you're worthless if you're not fuckable". The accurate way to define *their* definition of man and woman are "fuckers" and "fuckable", and if you don't fall into one of those, you're worthless.
Like... I've always understood it... but seeing how much they fucking melt down over a normal ass looking woman just... clicked something in my brain. And whether or not I want to admit it, these mentalities are at the foundation of the patriarchy and permeate so much of our societies.
It's why they can't give a consistent answer to their own definition of what defines a man and a woman. It's why they'll always pivot or try something new. They don't even understand their own definition. They think they believe something different than what they actually believe. We're arguing with dipshits who don't even understand what they believe.
I need to separate the bits of their definitions that have wormed their way into my head, from reality. I may not be "fuckable", but I'm a woman, and that's all I wanted, so I can be happy in that.
Sure, I'd love to be prettier. I love to feel pretty... but I need to consider that desire separate from any criteria that makes me a woman. They're not the same thing. Dysphoria is that internalized patriarchal definition clawing at me.
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CW: Strange epiphany involving Transphobia, Misogyny, Gamers™, Twitter, Dysphoria
Because I was a bored little weirdo I went over to Twitter's rotting corpse to see what kind of bullshit was going on there. Looks like Gamers™ are angry about how another woman looks in a game and like... in a weird kind of way... it helped my dysphoria.
These fuckers are just dripping in misogyny... society is dripping in misogyny... I realized that their definition of woman is literally just "airbrushed perfection I want to fuck". It has nothing to do with the typical arguments about gametes or chromosomes... they say that... but it's literally just "you're worthless if you're not fuckable". The accurate way to define *their* definition of man and woman are "fuckers" and "fuckable", and if you don't fall into one of those, you're worthless.
Like... I've always understood it... but seeing how much they fucking melt down over a normal ass looking woman just... clicked something in my brain. And whether or not I want to admit it, these mentalities are at the foundation of the patriarchy and permeate so much of our societies.
It's why they can't give a consistent answer to their own definition of what defines a man and a woman. It's why they'll always pivot or try something new. They don't even understand their own definition. They think they believe something different than what they actually believe. We're arguing with dipshits who don't even understand what they believe.
I need to separate the bits of their definitions that have wormed their way into my head, from reality. I may not be "fuckable", but I'm a woman, and that's all I wanted, so I can be happy in that.
Sure, I'd love to be prettier. I love to feel pretty... but I need to consider that desire separate from any criteria that makes me a woman. They're not the same thing. Dysphoria is that internalized patriarchal definition clawing at me.
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CW: dysphoria, bad, graphic
Can I please have a day without feeling this form of severe #dysphoria ?
It makes me feel so bad and overwhelmed. Makes me want to punch, or when it's really bad cut open, my stomach. I fucking hate the fact I don't have a womb. Nothing else matters.
It really feels that being around family and seeing my two stepsisters with their kids is making this so much worse.
Being far from my gf can't be helping either.
I just want a day without feeling trash ffs
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CW: dysphoria, bad, graphic
Can I please have a day without feeling this form of severe #dysphoria ?
It makes me feel so bad and overwhelmed. Makes me want to punch, or when it's really bad cut open, my stomach. I fucking hate the fact I don't have a womb. Nothing else matters.
It really feels that being around family and seeing my two stepsisters with their kids is making this so much worse.
Being far from my gf can't be helping either.
I just want a day without feeling trash ffs
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This is proof dysphoria can physically hold you back 🐇
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This is proof dysphoria can physically hold you back 🐇
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Lovely, today is looking like a day dealing with #dysphoria
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Lovely, today is looking like a day dealing with #dysphoria
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CW: CyberSix Comic Spoilers, trans, identity, intense feelings
Voice Dysphoria is real...
- So be mindful...Also TERFs are just bad.
- Those "Karen" types need to find themselves better hobbies than eavesdropping on peoples' phone calls!#CyberSix #Comic #AdrianSeidelman #Voice #VoiceDysphoria #dysphoria #Boymoding #TERFs #TERF #trans #identity #feelings #feels #IntenseFeels
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CW: CyberSix Comic Spoilers, trans, identity, intense feelings
Voice Dysphoria is real...
- So be mindful...Also TERFs are just bad.
- Those "Karen" types need to find themselves better hobbies than eavesdropping on peoples' phone calls!#CyberSix #Comic #AdrianSeidelman #Voice #VoiceDysphoria #dysphoria #Boymoding #TERFs #TERF #trans #identity #feelings #feels #IntenseFeels
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Quantum Recurrence
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/quantum-recurrence-justin-farrimond.html
This area has always been a re-entry point going back thousands of years. You are looking at now, as it was then.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #BelieveInFilm #TimeTravel #PhotographyIsArt #Dysphoria #FilmPhotography #Today
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Quantum Recurrence
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/quantum-recurrence-justin-farrimond.html
This area has always been a re-entry point going back thousands of years. You are looking at now, as it was then.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #BelieveInFilm #TimeTravel #PhotographyIsArt #Dysphoria #FilmPhotography #Today
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Is nerve growth and regenerative medicine a pipedream? I want to do a phalloplasty after my terrible, non-consented, vaginoplasty, ideally in 4-8 years. But since I suffered necrosis on my neoclitoris and the tissue is heavily scared, I don't know what to do.
#Trans #transwoman #transfem #MTf #Medicine #Regenerativemedicine #dysphoria #advice #adviceneeded #nerverepair #experimental #mentalhealth #MedTech #phallo
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Is nerve growth and regenerative medicine a pipedream? I want to do a phalloplasty after my terrible, non-consented, vaginoplasty, ideally in 4-8 years. But since I suffered necrosis on my neoclitoris and the tissue is heavily scared, I don't know what to do.
#Trans #transwoman #transfem #MTf #Medicine #Regenerativemedicine #dysphoria #advice #adviceneeded #nerverepair #experimental #mentalhealth #MedTech #phallo
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CW: dysphoria, menopause, menstruation, mh
I'm reading "genderqueer menopause" by Lasara Firefox Allen at the moment.
It's an interesting book, one take got me thinking. She writes a lot of genderqueer folx who menstruate have dysphoria about that. On the one hand it's really obvious but on the other hand I've never allowed myself to think about menstruation in that way. I've had quite light periods in my youth, but even than they felt like a personal insult. Later I had severe cramps, fatigue and PMDS so no surprise I wasn't happy to have a period. One of the reasons I started HRT was that a third of the twenty six days my cycles were long by then (another thing nobody had told me, the menstrual cycle gets shorter the older you get) I spent in pain or in the conviction I was a generally bad person who was worth nothing.
But even then it never crossed my mind dysphoria might be involved.
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What are your fav at least slightly healthier dissociation tricks / hobbies / activities for when you can’t even with gender things (but there’s no way out of the current situ)?
ETA: no food/drugs/alcohol/exercise due to illness shit
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What are your fav at least slightly healthier dissociation tricks / hobbies / activities for when you can’t even with gender things (but there’s no way out of the current situ)?
ETA: no food/drugs/alcohol/exercise due to illness shit
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It's The End Of The Line
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/its-the-end-of-the-line-justin-farrimond.html
The day will come when we'll all reach the end of the line.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #BlackAndWhite #Death #Monochrome #Dysphoria
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It's The End Of The Line
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/its-the-end-of-the-line-justin-farrimond.html
The day will come when we'll all reach the end of the line.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #BlackAndWhite #Death #Monochrome #Dysphoria
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Fortune nor home not more the man can cheer,
Who lives a prey to covetise or fear,
Than may a picture’s richest hues delight
Eyes that with dropping rheum are thick of sight,
Or warm soft lotions soothe a gout-racked foot,
Or aching ears be charmed by twangling lute.
On minds unquiet joy has lost its power;
In a foul vessel everything turns sour.
[Qui cupit aut metuit, iuvat ilium sic domus et res,
Ut lippum pictae tabulae, fomenta podagrum,
Auriculas citbarae collecta sorde dolentes.
Sincerumst nisi vas, quodcumque infundis acescit
Sperne voluptate.]Horace (65–8 BC) Roman poet, satirist, soldier, politician [Quintus Horatius Flaccus]
Epistles [Epistularum, Letters], Book 1, ep. 2 “To Lollius,” l. 51ff (1.2.51-54) (14 BC) [tr. Martin (1881)]More about (and translations of) this quote: wist.info/horace/82248/
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #horace #avarice #dissatisfaction #dysphoria #enjoyment #fear #greed #joylessness #loss #money #perspective #pleasure #property #unease #unhappiness #wealth
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I used to think I was introverted, but it turns out that was dysphoria. I felt like socializing was performing as a character, and it was exhausting.
When I’m presenting as myself, I crave social interaction. My social battery is so much bigger.
On my dysphoric days, that feeling comes back. I want to be alone, and I don’t want to be seen. It’s because I don’t want to be seen as that character anymore more. I’m done.
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I am experiencing dysphoria, and I am sure that making big decisions based on my distorted dysphoric thoughts isn't the best at the moment.
#MentalHealth #Dysphoria #SelfCare #MentalHealthMatters #Wellbeing #EmotionalHealth #TakeYourTime #Pause #SelfCompassion #MentalHealthAwareness #HealingJourney
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Symptom: Assigned Female At Birth
https://www.illmarks.com/symptom-assigned-female-at-birth/
#acog #afab #art #AssignedFemaleAtBirth #bodyHorror #bodyMapping #bodyart #bodydysphoria #bodyhorror #chronicIllness #dysphoria #Dysphoric #genderAffirmingCare #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gyn #gynecology #healthcare #healthcareArt #invasive #longcovid #marginalizedGenders #mastcellactivationsyndrome #mcas #medart #medical #medicalArt #nonbinary #obGyn #OBGYN #pwLC #pwme #reproductiveRights #SciArt #SoTiredOfGoingToTheWomensClinic #trans #TransInclusiveHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights
