#dysphoria — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #dysphoria, aggregated by home.social.
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CW: Sex, dysphoria, dissocation
I think I dissociated while having sex, its actually a long time ago that happend so long actually that it was at a time where I didnt know trans and I thought I have to be a cis guy.
But today the stuff I did made me feel like I was in the same role and I think I get now why sex always felt so weird before reasling I was trans. I knew penetration felt off since I can remember but I still fucked cause I felt like its what expected off me and the only part that was fun for me was when I came or when I was doing oral everything else felt weird dissonnected from myself. And I am really now understandig why, cause when I dissociated today I didnt feel dysphoric I didnt feel anything to be exact just like a bystander watching from a distance. And thats exactly how sex always felt for me when I was younger and I just accepted it. I didnt question why it was never really fun for me, I didnt question when the best part was when it was over, I just accepted it.
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CW: Sex, dysphoria, dissocation
I think I dissociated while having sex, its actually a long time ago that happend so long actually that it was at a time where I didnt know trans people existed and I thought I have to be a cis guy.
But today the stuff I did made me feel like I was in the same role and I think I get now why sex always felt so weird before realising I was trans. I knew penetration felt off since I can remember but I still fucked cause I felt like its what expected off me and the only part that was fun for me was when I came or when I was doing oral everything else felt weird dissonnected from myself. And I am really now understandig why, cause when I dissociated today I didnt feel dysphoric I didnt feel anything to be exact just like a bystander watching from a distance. And thats exactly how sex always felt for me when I was younger and I just accepted it. I didnt question why it was never really fun for me, I didnt question when the best part was when it was over, I just accepted it.
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Shadowserver flagged the Dysphoria botnet as CRITICAL after finding 296,000 infected IoT devices used for DDoS attacks and hidden via blockchain naming services.
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Shadowserver flagged the Dysphoria botnet as CRITICAL after finding 296,000 infected IoT devices used for DDoS attacks and hidden via blockchain naming services.
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Go Knock On The Back Door
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/go-knock-on-the-back-door-justin-farrimond.html
If you can't get an answer go round and knock on the back door. Joe's usually asleep on the couch in the back parlour.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #Vintage #FilmPhotography #Architecture #Dysphoria #BlackAndWhite #IShootFilm
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Go Knock On The Back Door
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/go-knock-on-the-back-door-justin-farrimond.html
If you can't get an answer go round and knock on the back door. Joe's usually asleep on the couch in the back parlour.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #Vintage #FilmPhotography #Architecture #Dysphoria #BlackAndWhite #IShootFilm
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Go Knock On The Back Door
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/go-knock-on-the-back-door-justin-farrimond.html
If you can't get an answer go round and knock on the back door. Joe's usually asleep on the couch in the back parlour.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #Vintage #FilmPhotography #Architecture #Dysphoria #BlackAndWhite #IShootFilm
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Go Knock On The Back Door
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/go-knock-on-the-back-door-justin-farrimond.html
If you can't get an answer go round and knock on the back door. Joe's usually asleep on the couch in the back parlour.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #Vintage #FilmPhotography #Architecture #Dysphoria #BlackAndWhite #IShootFilm
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Go Knock On The Back Door
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/go-knock-on-the-back-door-justin-farrimond.html
If you can't get an answer go round and knock on the back door. Joe's usually asleep on the couch in the back parlour.
#PhotoOfTheDay #Photography #Art #Print #Vintage #FilmPhotography #Architecture #Dysphoria #BlackAndWhite #IShootFilm
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Dysphoria botnet has compromised 296,000 IoT devices, facilitating DDoS attacks and proxy operations. Ensuring device security through updates and strong passwords is crucial to prevent exploitation.
#CyberSecurity #IoT #DDoS #Botnet #NetworkSecurity #Dysphoria
https://thedailytechfeed.com/dysphoria-botnet-exploits-iot-devices-for-ddos-and-proxy-attacks/
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𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒
𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺
𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑘𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑠𝑖𝑥 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒
𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙜𝙪𝙣
(dysphoria's been hitting kinda strong lately 😭 )
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The Dysphoria botnet uses blockchain ENS/SNS domains for covert C2 and turns victims into relays. XLab tracked over 200,000 bots in this IoT DDoS botnet.
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📢 Dysphoria : un botnet de 200 000 appareils exploitant la blockchain pour son C2
BleepingComputer, publié le 27 juillet 2026. Les chercheurs de QiAnXin XLab ont publié un rapport détaillé sur un nouveau botnet nommé Dysphoria, détecté pour la première fois le 25 mars 2026 et suivi activement depuis. Dysphoria est issu de l'évolution des malwares…
📖 cyberveille : https://cyberveille.ch/posts/2026-08-02-dysphoria-un-botnet-de-200-000-appareils-exploitant-la-blockchain-pour-son-c2/
🌐 source : https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/new-dysphoria-ddos-botnet-spreads-to-200k-devices-worldwide/
🟡 vérification factuelle moyenne
#Dysphoria #botnet #Cyberveille -
One of the shifts I’ve observed in myself in this era of #misinformation and #vibecoding is a hard swing back toward #embodied activities and #mysticism, i.e. the witchy stuff.
Five years back my whole personality was perfecting code and getting praised for it whilst remaining as invisible to the world as possible. I stayed in my head because that way street harassment and #dysphoria didn’t hurt as much. I was utterly committed to being rational and sensible and convinced I lived in a world where logic and facts were ultimately in charge.
But they’re not, are they?
Something cracked in that hard shell when I started #singing again, and that soupy mess inside it had changed. My choir sisters and my song circle gently coaxed me out of there over a couple of years. (Also, I fell in love. Like, hard. There are fewer things more transformative.)
All of this was magical in itself. But it also felt like an existential risk, that in reclaiming all this I’d ultimately be cast out of the modest place of safety I’d found in writing software. That fear came true for me this year, and I don’t yet know if I’ll make it back in. Even if I do, I don’t think it’ll be ‘safe’ any more: precarity is a way of life now.
But it feels to me like the whole industry has, at this point, also turned its back on rationality.
So my #jobhunt effort is now informed by a daily #tarot pull, and my engineering efforts might be assisted by a bit of improvised #chaosMagic - how’s that so different from the stochastic output of an LLM and the smoke and mirrors of the tech industry, or for that matter mainstream politics?
We’re _not_ rational beings. We’re dancing points of impossible light and darkness, made of matter that’s mostly empty space, improbable beings of living language existing at an extraordinary nexus of life-and-death planetary events.
We can’t even draw a simple circle without irrational numbers.
So I’m absolutely going to keep embracing the witchy shit, and enjoy the ride.
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One of the shifts I’ve observed in myself in this era of #misinformation and #vibecoding is a hard swing back toward #embodied activities and #mysticism, i.e. the witchy stuff.
Five years back my whole personality was perfecting code and getting praised for it whilst remaining as invisible to the world as possible. I stayed in my head because that way street harassment and #dysphoria didn’t hurt as much. I was utterly committed to being rational and sensible and convinced I lived in a world where logic and facts were ultimately in charge.
But they’re not, are they?
Something cracked in that hard shell when I started #singing again, and that soupy mess inside it had changed. My choir sisters and my song circle gently coaxed me out of there over a couple of years. (Also, I fell in love. Like, hard. There are fewer things more transformative.)
All of this was magical in itself. But it also felt like an existential risk, that in reclaiming all this I’d ultimately be cast out of the modest place of safety I’d found in writing software. That fear came true for me this year, and I don’t yet know if I’ll make it back in. Even if I do, I don’t think it’ll be ‘safe’ any more: precarity is a way of life now.
But it feels to me like the whole industry has, at this point, also turned its back on rationality.
So my #jobhunt effort is now informed by a daily #tarot pull, and my engineering efforts might be assisted by a bit of improvised #chaosMagic - how’s that so different from the stochastic output of an LLM and the smoke and mirrors of the tech industry, or for that matter mainstream politics?
We’re _not_ rational beings. We’re dancing points of impossible light and darkness, made of matter that’s mostly empty space, improbable beings of living language existing at an extraordinary nexus of life-and-death planetary events.
We can’t even draw a simple circle without irrational numbers.
So I’m absolutely going to keep embracing the witchy shit, and enjoy the ride.
-
One of the shifts I’ve observed in myself in this era of #misinformation and #vibecoding is a hard swing back toward #embodied activities and #mysticism, i.e. the witchy stuff.
Five years back my whole personality was perfecting code and getting praised for it whilst remaining as invisible to the world as possible. I stayed in my head because that way street harassment and #dysphoria didn’t hurt as much. I was utterly committed to being rational and sensible and convinced I lived in a world where logic and facts were ultimately in charge.
But they’re not, are they?
Something cracked in that hard shell when I started #singing again, and that soupy mess inside it had changed. My choir sisters and my song circle gently coaxed me out of there over a couple of years. (Also, I fell in love. Like, hard. There are fewer things more transformative.)
All of this was magical in itself. But it also felt like an existential risk, that in reclaiming all this I’d ultimately be cast out of the modest place of safety I’d found in writing software. That fear came true for me this year, and I don’t yet know if I’ll make it back in. Even if I do, I don’t think it’ll be ‘safe’ any more: precarity is a way of life now.
But it feels to me like the whole industry has, at this point, also turned its back on rationality.
So my #jobhunt effort is now informed by a daily #tarot pull, and my engineering efforts might be assisted by a bit of improvised #chaosMagic - how’s that so different from the stochastic output of an LLM and the smoke and mirrors of the tech industry, or for that matter mainstream politics?
We’re _not_ rational beings. We’re dancing points of impossible light and darkness, made of matter that’s mostly empty space, improbable beings of living language existing at an extraordinary nexus of life-and-death planetary events.
We can’t even draw a simple circle without irrational numbers.
So I’m absolutely going to keep embracing the witchy shit, and enjoy the ride.
-
One of the shifts I’ve observed in myself in this era of #misinformation and #vibecoding is a hard swing back toward #embodied activities and #mysticism, i.e. the witchy stuff.
Five years back my whole personality was perfecting code and getting praised for it whilst remaining as invisible to the world as possible. I stayed in my head because that way street harassment and #dysphoria didn’t hurt as much. I was utterly committed to being rational and sensible and convinced I lived in a world where logic and facts were ultimately in charge.
But they’re not, are they?
Something cracked in that hard shell when I started #singing again, and that soupy mess inside it had changed. My choir sisters and my song circle gently coaxed me out of there over a couple of years. (Also, I fell in love. Like, hard. There are fewer things more transformative.)
All of this was magical in itself. But it also felt like an existential risk, that in reclaiming all this I’d ultimately be cast out of the modest place of safety I’d found in writing software. That fear came true for me this year, and I don’t yet know if I’ll make it back in. Even if I do, I don’t think it’ll be ‘safe’ any more: precarity is a way of life now.
But it feels to me like the whole industry has, at this point, also turned its back on rationality.
So my #jobhunt effort is now informed by a daily #tarot pull, and my engineering efforts might be assisted by a bit of improvised #chaosMagic - how’s that so different from the stochastic output of an LLM and the smoke and mirrors of the tech industry, or for that matter mainstream politics?
We’re _not_ rational beings. We’re dancing points of impossible light and darkness, made of matter that’s mostly empty space, improbable beings of living language existing at an extraordinary nexus of life-and-death planetary events.
We can’t even draw a simple circle without irrational numbers.
So I’m absolutely going to keep embracing the witchy shit, and enjoy the ride.
-
My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
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My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
-
My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
-
My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
-
My hair looks terrible, and as a #Trans woman it bothers me a lot: unnatural waves and bad ends, etcetera. All because of the ponytails and buns I have to wear every day to hide my femininity here in #Venezuela (one of the most homophobic, conservative, unsafe countries in the American continent). I want to flee so bad.
#America #lgbt #queer #transrights #rant #latinamerica #homophobia #dysphoria
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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A botnet with 200,000+ infected devices is now hiding its command servers inside blockchain domains. https://iottechnews.com/news/dysphoria-iot-botnet-uses-blockchain-domains-to-hide-200k-bots/ #dysphoria #iot #botnet #infosec #blockchain #ddos #cybersecurity #technology
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CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
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CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
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CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
-
CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
-
CW: trans voice dysphoria, request for assistance
Chat, I hate my voice and it is making me die??
Self voice-training isn't cutting it.
Also, I could use someone to help me test Voice Mod filters sometime in a voice call. I am not able to judge my voice even if I could stand hearing it.
#trans #voicetraining #dysphoria #lgbt #queer #transfem #transwoman
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Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #GenderExpression #identity #nonbinary #trans -
Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #GenderExpression #identity #nonbinary #trans -
Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #GenderExpression #identity #nonbinary #trans -
Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #GenderExpression #identity #nonbinary #trans -
Hulking Out
I’m currently re-watching She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. I originally watched it when it was released in 2022, one year before my egg cracked. This time through, I’m getting a lot more out of it. Jennifer Walters’ story is about more than just a lawyer who transforms into a big green superhero—it’s a thoughtfully written transition allegory.
Throughout the story, Jen goes through a lot of the same psychological challenges that I have as I’ve transitioned, and the seventh episode of the first season really drives that point home. She has made her way out to a ranch owned by Emil Blonsky (the Abomination) to check on him. His ranch is a wellness retreat for super-enabled people, two of whom damage her car while “working out their issues.”
While she’s waiting for a tow truck, she wanders around, desperately trying to get a cell signal to see if she has received a message from a man, Josh, who ghosted her after three dates, and she stumbles into a group therapy session, where one of the participants was part of a group who tried to mug her to steal her DNA. Naturally, she hulks out and throws him around a bit before the others convince her to join the session and work on her anger issues—as well as her dating issues. Throughout the session, she remains in Hulk form.
The reason Josh affects her so much is because he was the first person who seemed to appreciate her as just Jen, without even mentioning She-Hulk. The group finally convinces her to delete Josh’s number because they think she’s a pretty great person inside, without her Hulk exterior. She transforms back into Jen, and feels accepted.
As soon as she transformed, the thought came to me: I do that. I wear my gender presentation as a shield. Or rather, I still do that. My male persona was an ill-fitting shield against a world that I was convinced would not accept the real me.
Then I realized, we all do that. We all wear our gender as a shield. And do you know who does it the most? Strictly binary cisgender men. Any crack in their manly armor is seen as an unforgivable weakness, a chance for other men to pounce on them and hurl feminizing insults at them.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with my nonbinary nature, but I still feel protected when I wear makeup, affirming clothes, and especially when I wear a wig to cover my strongest source of dysphoria (although even that is reducing as it grows out). When people don’t really know me, that superficial layer helps them see that I’m just one of the girls. But I’m very aware that once people get to know me, they see who I am no matter how I’m dressed…for the most part, but that’s another article.
I’m very thankful that I understand the mutability of gender, and how tenuous the human binary concept really is. But most of the world still has a lot of trouble grasping that. So I’ll continue to wear my gender, especially in situations where it’s important for new people to see who I am. But as Jen realized at the end of the episode, I know that people appreciate my inner self, and that always shines through.
#dysphoria #fiction #GenderExpression #identity #life #marvel #nonbinary #trans -
Queensland hospital settles dispute with psychiatrist Dr Jillian Spencer over gender care
A psychiatrist who was suspended from the Queensland Children’s Hospital three years ago for criticising the facility’s gender…
#Australia #AU #Austrlia #childrenshealthqueensland #DrJillianSpencer #dysphoria #gender #qhs #QLD #Queensland #queenslandchildrenshospital
https://www.europesays.com/australia/52570/ -
CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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CW: nudity, art / drawn, gender dysphoria
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Dysphoria, a play in one act
"You should do this."
"Why?"
"Because you are a man, of course!"
"I've got a counterproposal."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You should shut up."
"Oh yeah? And why is this?"
"Because you are a jerk, of course."
[Curtain]
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Dysphoria, a play in one act
"You should do this."
"Why?"
"Because you are a man, of course!"
"I've got a counterproposal."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You should shut up."
"Oh yeah? And why is this?"
"Because you are a jerk, of course."
[Curtain]
-
Dysphoria, a play in one act
"You should do this."
"Why?"
"Because you are a man, of course!"
"I've got a counterproposal."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You should shut up."
"Oh yeah? And why is this?"
"Because you are a jerk, of course."
[Curtain]
-
Dysphoria, a play in one act
"You should do this."
"Why?"
"Because you are a man, of course!"
"I've got a counterproposal."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You should shut up."
"Oh yeah? And why is this?"
"Because you are a jerk, of course."
[Curtain]
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Gremlins have been biting my ovaries all day and I don't much care for it.
As a trans man who's been on testosterone for 19 years, this pain should not be occurring.
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Gremlins have been biting my ovaries all day and I don't much care for it.
As a trans man who's been on testosterone for 19 years, this pain should not be occurring.
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Gremlins have been biting my ovaries all day and I don't much care for it.
As a trans man who's been on testosterone for 19 years, this pain should not be occurring.
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It is wild what dysphoria can do to you.
For years, I refused to wear shorts outside no matter how hot it was, just because I felt terrible about my body. Today, I will go out in shorts for the first time in ages, and I still feel nervous about it even though I know most people will now view me as a dude.
I am still fat, and still me. But now I am determined to let go of those restrictions I held onto for so long just because dysphoria made me feel so bad all the time.
