#dsojin — Public Fediverse posts

The Promise I Kept to Myself

What is a promise you made to yourself that you have actually kept? Mine was simple, but it has followed me through every version of myself I have ever been. I promised that I would keep trying to become the best version of myself, no matter what happened to me, no matter how many times life humbled me, disappointed me, confused me, or forced me to begin again. I did not fully understand what that promise would demand when I made it. I thought becoming better would mean becoming more successful, more disciplined, more confident, and more certain of where I was going. I imagined growth as a straight line, something clean and visible, something I could measure by what I achieved. I thought one day I would wake up and finally feel complete. Instead, I learned that growth is often quiet, painful, and deeply uncomfortable. Sometimes it looks less like becoming someone new and more like finally facing the parts of yourself you spent years avoiding.

There were periods when I did not feel strong, focused, or proud of the person I was becoming. There were times when I lost direction, made choices I regretted, trusted people who did not deserve that trust, stayed in situations longer than I should have, and allowed fear to make decisions on my behalf. There were moments when I abandoned my own needs just to keep the peace, ignored the voice inside me that knew something was wrong, and accepted less than I knew I deserved because uncertainty felt more frightening than unhappiness. I have had to sit with the painful truth that some of the deepest wounds in my life did not only come from what others did to me. Some came from the ways I betrayed myself, silenced myself, and became smaller so that other people would remain comfortable. Admitting that was difficult, but honesty became part of the promise. I could not become better while continuing to lie to myself about what needed to change.

The promise was never that I would never fail. It was that failure would not be the final definition of me. I did not promise that I would always know what to do, always feel motivated, or always remain strong. I promised that when I lost myself, I would eventually come looking. I promised that when life knocked the confidence out of me, I would rebuild it slowly, even if I had to do so in silence. I promised that when I became tired of carrying everything, I would learn that resting was not the same as quitting. I promised that I would stop judging myself only by the days when I performed well and start recognising the courage it took to survive the days when simply getting through them was the achievement. Some seasons required discipline. Others required patience. Some required walking away. Others required staying still long enough to understand why I kept running toward the same pain in different forms.

Becoming the best version of myself has not always meant adding more. Sometimes it has meant letting go. Letting go of habits that kept me distracted from my own life. Letting go of people I kept trying to convince to value me. Letting go of the need to be understood by everyone. Letting go of the belief that healing should have a deadline. Letting go of old identities that once protected me but eventually became cages. There are versions of me that I had to grieve because, even though they were hurting, they were familiar. There are dreams I had to release because they belonged to a person I no longer was. There are apologies I never received, explanations that never came, and endings that never gave me closure. I had to learn that closure is sometimes the decision to stop waiting for the past to become fair. Sometimes moving forward begins when you accept that certain questions will remain unanswered, and you choose peace anyway.

The hardest part of keeping this promise has been understanding that the best version of me is not the version that never breaks. It is the version that does not remain broken forever. It is the person who learns how to become soft without becoming weak, strong without becoming cold, and honest without becoming cruel. It is the person who can look at old mistakes without allowing shame to erase every good thing that came after them. It is the person who understands that self-respect is not arrogance, boundaries are not punishment, and choosing yourself does not mean you stopped caring about others. It means you finally understood that you cannot build a meaningful life while constantly abandoning the person who has to live it.

I am still becoming. There are still parts of me I am working to understand, habits I am trying to break, fears I am learning not to obey, and dreams I have not yet found the courage to fully pursue. I still have days when I doubt myself, compare my progress to someone else’s, or feel frustrated by how far I have left to go. But I no longer believe those days erase the work I have already done. Progress is not always visible. Sometimes it is choosing not to return to what once destroyed your peace. Sometimes it is staying calm in a situation where the old you would have reacted. Sometimes it is recognising a pattern before it becomes another chapter. Sometimes it is looking in the mirror and speaking to yourself with compassion instead of contempt. These victories may never impress the world, but they matter because they change the relationship you have with yourself.

Maybe there is no final version of us. Maybe there is no day when the work is complete, every wound is healed, every weakness disappears, and life finally becomes easy. Perhaps the best version of ourselves is not waiting at the end of some distant road. Perhaps it is built through the way we walk that road. It is created in the choices we make when nobody is watching, in the moments when giving up would be understandable, and in the quiet decision to keep going anyway. It is the person who looks at everything that tried to harden them and still chooses kindness. The person who has every reason to become bitter but chooses wisdom instead. The person who can say, “Life changed me, but it did not finish me.”

That is the promise I have kept. Not the promise of perfection, constant motivation, or an unbroken life. It is the promise that I will not completely abandon myself. I may lose direction, but I will search for my way back. I may fall, but I will not build a home on the ground. I may become exhausted, but I will allow myself to rest without calling myself a failure. I may outgrow people, places, beliefs, and even dreams, but I will not force myself to remain in a life that no longer fits simply because I once prayed for it.

I promised myself that I would keep trying to become the best version of me, no matter what. Life has tested that promise in ways I never expected. It has shown me my weaknesses, exposed my fears, and forced me to meet parts of myself I would have preferred to avoid. But I am still here. Still learning. Still rebuilding. Still choosing not to give up on the person I know I can become. And perhaps that is what keeping a promise to yourself truly looks like. Not never falling apart, but refusing to believe that falling apart is where your story ends.

The Internet Gave Everyone a Voice, Unfortunately

I’ve got to tell you, the internet is something else, isn’t it? I mean, think about it, we have this incredible tool, this global network that connects us all, that allows us to share information and communicate with anyone, anywhere, at any time. It’s like the ultimate democracy of ideas, right? Everyone gets a voice! Oh, what a beautiful dream!

Oh, but wait! It turns out, maybe not everyone should have a voice? Maybe, just maybe, some opinions are better kept to yourself? I know, I know, it’s a controversial take. But hear me out!

Before the internet, if you had a terrible opinion, you had to keep it within your family. Maybe ruin Christmas dinner. Now you can ruin somebody’s morning in another country before breakfast! And don’t get me started on the comments sections. Have you seen the comments sections? It’s like the wild west out there. No rules, no consequences, just an endless stream of unfiltered nonsense.

And what’s with all these people who start every post with ‘Nobody asked, but…’ or ‘I wasn’t going to speak about this, but…’? Buddy, if nobody asked and you weren’t going to speak about it, then DON’T! Nobody’s twisting your arm here. But no, they’ve got to share their unsolicited hot take on whatever topic is trending that day. And God forbid you disagree with them, they’ll be at your doorstep, ready for a duel at dawn.

What about online trolls? “Hey, you know what really grinds my gears? When people don’t like my opinion on the internet. No, seriously, that’s like the number one crime in the online world. Say something controversial, and suddenly you’re Public Enemy Number One. It’s like, relax, bro. It’s just the internet. Nobody cares.

And don’t even get me started on the experts. Oh, they’re everywhere. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a smartphone and an opinion now thinks they’re an expert on everything from politics to climate change to quantum physics. Newsflash: just because you watched a few YouTube videos doesn’t make you a expert. Trust me, I know from experience. I once tried to explain string theory to my cat using nothing but a laser pointer and some catnip. Did not go well.

But the real kicker is when these so called experts start giving unsolicited advice online. Oh, you’re a doctor? Well, here’s what I think you should do: shut up and treat your patients. Same goes for pilots, chefs, teachers, you name it. Every profession now has millions of unpaid online supervisors ready to tell them how to do their jobs better. It’s like having a bunch of drunk monkeys in the cockpit, all screaming different directions.

And don’t forget about the influencers… they’re the worst. Oh, they’ve got it all figured out. They’re going to ‘speak their truth’ and ‘inspire’ us all with their ‘authentic’ content. But let’s be real, they’re just a bunch of attention seeking narcissists with a camera and a dream. And don’t even get me started on their ‘spontaneous’ videos, the ones where they’re crying in their car about something that happened to them that we’re all supposed to care about. Please. If you’re filming it, it’s not spontaneous. It’s not real. It’s just another piece of content to feed the algorithm.

But you know what really gets me? It’s the ones who overshare. The ones who post every single detail of their lives online, their arguments, their moods, their meals, their entire lives on display for the world to see. It’s like they’re begging for validation, for someone, anyone, to pay attention to them. But here’s the thing, they’re not sharing. They’re performing. And nobody asked for their performance.

The internet promised us a revolution, a democratization of knowledge and ideas. But instead, we got an endless stream of opinions from people who shouldn’t have them. We got a platform for every idiot with a smartphone and a dream of being heard. We got the voice of the people, but not necessarily the best voice, the loudest one.

So here’s my advice, next time you’re about to post something online, next time you’re about to share your unsolicited opinion with the world, ask yourself: does anyone actually care? Do you even know what you’re talking about? Is this going to make the world a better place? Because if not, then maybe just…don’t. Maybe just keep it to yourself.

Because at the end of the day, the internet gave everyone a voice. But it forgot to install a filter.  And that’s the real tragedy of our time.

Modern Friendship: Two Coffees, Zero Conversation

You know, I met up with my buddy, Jeff, the other day. We used to be so close, always hanging out, shooting the shit, but now? We might as well be living on different planets! I mean, we arranged this whole thing, he came all the way across town, fought for a parking spot, waited in line for these overpriced coffees… and why? So he could sit there and scroll through TikTok for two hours straight!

I’m not even exaggerating! I get there, I say “Hey, what’s up?” He goes, “Yeah bro, crazy.” Then he starts showing me these videos, “Bro, look at this!” “Dude, check this out!” Every single one starts blasting at full volume, of course.  You’ve got a baby laughing, then suddenly it’s some guy screaming about stocks! I’m sitting there thinking, “What the hell is going on?”

He’s got these headphones too, they’re just sitting there on the table. Decorative headphones, that’s what they are! But nooo, we can’t have those. We gotta share his little algorithm with the entire café! The waiter, the couple next to us, probably people across the street – they’re all part of Jeff’s For You page now!

Imagine you’re just trying to enjoy your chai latte, reading a book or something. Then all of a sudden, you’re subjected to some teenager’s fitness routine, complete with screaming motivational music! And you, trying to have a private conversation with your girlfriend? Tough luck, because now you’re also a financial advisor!

And Jeff just keeps scrolling, scrolling, scrolling! I’m like, “Hey man, what’s new with you?” He barely hears me, just goes “Yeah, bro, crazy,” then hits me with another Reel. One minute it’s a dog barking, the next it’s some dude speaking in robot voices! I have no idea what’s happening anymore!

So here I am, shouting over his phone just to be heard. It’s like trying to talk to a toddler in a candy store! Finally, I tell him to turn it down. He does… But you know what’s really crazy? He’s actually enjoying this! He gets excited when the volume kicks up again. Like he’s living for the chaos!

And we’re not even the only ones! Everyone’s doing this now. Sitting in cafes, not talking to each other. Just staring at their phones, pretending they’re “charging” or whatever. “Oh yeah, we’re still friends. Look, we’re in the same room! See how we’re not looking at each other?” What a crock of shit!

I mean, these apps are clever. TikTok, Instagram Reels… they know how to keep us hooked. You think you’re just scrolling for fun, but really they’re playing mind games! Before you know it, you’re watching some 19 year old beside a rented sports car tell you how to manage your money. “Work on your side hustle, bro! Be your own boss!” What the fuck do you know about that?

And don’t get me started on all the crap we save for later! Recipes we’ll never make, workouts we’ll never do, dream holidays we’ll never afford. It’s like a graveyard of good intentions up in there! Meanwhile, we’re supposed to be friends. You know what we actually talked about? “Yeah, bro, crazy.”

But you know what the real kicker is? He messages me afterwards. “Good seeing you bro. We should do this more often.” Then he sends another video. I open it… and it starts blasting again. Full volume.  In a completely silent room. That’s modern friendship for you…. “Yeah, bro. Crazy”

Where I’ve Been and Why This Blog Is Back

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ve probably noticed something: it went quiet.

The last article was published on January 16, 2025. I didn’t plan on disappearing for over a year… but life had other ideas.

Ironically, I started this blog to entertain myself. It was supposed to be a place where I could write, share ideas, learn new things, and occasionally make people laugh.

Then work decided to become my main source of entertainment.

Between new projects, more responsibilities, frequent travel, and life generally refusing to slow down, the months passed much faster than I expected. Every week seemed to bring something new, and before I knew it, this blog had been sitting quietly on the sidelines.

But here’s the thing: I never forgot about it.

In fact, the longer I was away, the more ideas I kept collecting. I’d come across an interesting topic and think, “That would make a great article.” I’d read something fascinating and want to write about it. The list kept growing… the publishing didn’t.

Until now.

This blog is returning with a much clearer vision than when it first started.

The goal is simple: build a library of content that’s worth coming back to.

Whether you want to learn something new, improve your finances, laugh for a few minutes, read an original story, discover a poem, practice Spanish, or simply explore different perspectives on the world, I want there to be something here for you.

Over the coming months, you’ll see articles across every category, with new content published consistently. Some posts will make you think, some will teach you something practical, and hopefully, a few will make you laugh.

This isn’t just another post. It’s the start of a new chapter for the blog.

If you’re returning after all this time, thank you for sticking around.

And if you’re new here… Welcome. I hope you’ll enjoy what’s coming next.