Wait, you had cancer….
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
I hear so many different things because my body and I do not agree. The only time I was at a healthy weight was when I was younger and I worked out 3 to 4 hours a day because I had been a varsity swimmer. I continued that into college but not on a team. I just worked out a lot. Until I just couldn’t. Something happened that I became exhausted. I didn’t function. It happened back in High School too. I knew something was wrong. At 21 I was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.
I went to the doctor. I grabbed his arm as he thought it was nothing. I said “I know something is really wrong.” He chose to do a scan just to ease my mind. Something showed. The specialist was determined it was nothing. 9 months later and a dozen scans later that same doctor that just did a scan to ease my mind demanded what we all needed done. The biopsy. Finally the specialist agreed and that specialist was 100% wrong and I was 100% right that something was wrong.
It was insitu. No chemo, no radiation just surgery that almost killed me. It left me constantly trying to find the new me. But I now had a permanent physical disability. My prior self that loved to workout still struggles 23 years later and 120 pounds heavier. The thing is this question never leads to anything more than “Im so sorry” or for those that despise me at sime point is “maybe you should have just died”. The thing is who i was did die. I am constantly finding myself. A new version. One trying to have a healthy body. One that can continue to survive as my body still continues to throw me curve balls. From PCOS, insulin resistance that turned to diabetes and now psoriasis that covers 40% of my body.
Finding correct doctors that can treat issues and not just pass them off as “just deal with it” becomes impossible.
This question of “you had cancer?” Never gets to the deep conversations it should. What did it do to you? How did you cope? Or anything that leads to a deep conversation. Most of my own family only talks about what it did to them not ever asking what my cancer did to me. It was mine. I had it. They were just a witness.
#Cancer #FindMyself #Findmypeople #Help #Nonsmallcelllungcancer #Youngsurvivor #dailyprompt #dailyprompt1869