Court Guinness Big Birthday Update 2026
This is a slightly larger update than usual as there is some new stuff and some stuff I am trying out.
Its my birthday today! 51!
Reading Time:
8–13 minutes
Contents
Health
So what has been happening since the last update? Well, healthwise, things are still getting worse but there have been no further medication upgrades. The continuous headache which has lasted now for over 1,400 days has been joined by an intermittent headache. We are now up to 1,444 days with a headache.
Walking is getting continually worse even with crutches and some days I am totally unable to walk. PTSD and fatigue are getting much worse, so much so that I have not done very much in the past few months. In better news some fresh appointments for various experts are hopefully coming through and major dental surgery is scheduled shortly. Asthma though is worse and has put me in A&E on occasions since my last update. In the recent heatwave I also managed to colapse outside a hospital. My pacemaker should be being replaced shortly.
Website
The website won 216,621 visitor actions in July 2025. The podcast has notched up 1,991,339 listens at the time of writing. My retro road tests that are produced with the help of ChatGPT are proving extremely popular. 203 of these have been produced so far and there are plans for another hundred or so at the moment. Equally as popular are the new posts on retro tech. In terms of the podcast, series 29 is well in progress and it will not be long before series 30 arrives.
Police
There is still a massive elephant in the room in the form of Warwickshire Police, whose officers have stolen nearly £20,000 worth of property from my home, to add further insult to their general lack of professionalism and other offence caused. I am voraciously pursuing this matter and will not let it rest. I also now consider the police to be a security risk and have a policy for them which is here. Warwickshire Police have already breached this policy 16 times! It is clear that they are badly led by a poor chief constable and on top of that the PCC for the county has taken no action whatsoever. The chief constable has been written to on a number of occasions and the letters are published here. A list of the stolen items is below. Some of you will have read “the BP blog”, BP stands for Bent Pig. What is concerning is the high number of incidents of corrupt policing and dubious police behaviour from Warwickshire Police that I am now hearing about. An event will be held next year to mark 2,000 days since the theft. The actual anniversary of the theft is in a few days on the 6th of August (5 years)
Court Report
Some of you will have noticed the new Court Report super widget that has now replaced the separate HTML widgets and tidied things up a bit. This has received some updates recently to make things cleaner.
Technical
There is nothing really new on the tech front but I tried Jeedom as a replacement for Home Assistant and didn’t like it. As much as I love the smart home concept and home automation these consolidation apps, especially in self-hosted form can be absolute rabbit holes and time killers. Home Assistant has returned and is being gently developed.
A Microsoft Surface Laptop has arrived as a home machine and a Microsoft Surface Go Laptop is the new traveller. All the older rigs have been decommissioned. The desktop rig and one of the laptop rigs have already gone.
I have had a few problems with Amazon Alexa and Blink recently which I resolved by switching to Ring. If this this does not work long tern then I will be looking for a new home security system, 7 cameras and a full alarm setup. My media system has had a few upgrades but I have stuck with Recalbox and DietPi. A new Amazon TV has arrived and is dedicated to the Recalbox. Another similar larger tV may replace an aging Toshiba 55 inch TV in time.
An Echo Show has arrived and it is an excellent piece of kit. I am looking at additional Alexa compatible kit.
General
Not much has been happening since my last update. Survival has pretty much been the key to everything recently, especially with August always being the crap month it is since Fiona’s passing. I was quite pleased to get another free upgrade to First Class on Cross Country Trains recently. Having a PTSD attack on the train might have had something to do with it! To be fair the Cross Country team were excellent.
Politically, I am laughing at the current state of affairs. Someone told me the other day that Number 10 north is costing about £250k a week to run and operate, what a waste of cash.
The flat is being redecorated and this is nearly complete.
Studio Coguin is a personal brand alongside courtg9000 and is coming online very slowly, it is mainly a holding area for intellectual property and a few other things. The basics are there and I am very happy with it. I do have some intellectual property available for sale. A partial replacement for The Trade House is in the mix too.
New wheels have arrived. A pic is below.
Relocation
The stalled relocation project has been rebooted and I am anxious to close this out as soon as possible. I need a one bedroom ground floor only property in any good low crime rate location.
Reunion
In Early September, I will arrange another online reunion for the end of the year for Ewell Systems/Wimbledon Systems/ CCPG/ Trade House people.
Lucy The Cat
Lucy the cat is doing well. Her recent message is here: . Those of you who follow here blog will know that her repetoire has been expanding recently. A recent “cross” of an asthma inhaler from coffee table to sofa would have put the players of some prominent West Midlands football teams to shame! I’m gutted I didn’t get to video it!
Social Media
I am on the new Threads app and my handle is @courtguinness
For those of you on X/Twitter my handle has changed its now @courtg9000.
House Designs
This is a mild rework of a previous one bedroom bungalow, brick built with brick tub room, bar and plant room at the bottom of a social garden.
Items Stolen by The Police
- 2 x ms surface tablets 1x 2GB RAM, 32GB HD. 1x 256gb HD 8 GB RAM x2
- lenovo laptop x2
- samsung tablet s3
- 5tb Hard drive
- black leather folder
- motorola mobile phone G5.
- £20 from bedside table
- £20 from bag
- £20 from filofax
- £20 from wallet
- £15 from Jacket
- small silver case
- smok vape x1
- 8 x microsd cards
- 2 x memory sticks
- 1 x Fossil Smartwatch
- 1 x casio digital watch
- 1 x Breitling watch
Total value : £19,640
August 2025 Advertised Requirements
A total of 90 Opportunities are in this issue:
Requirements And Opportunities Advertised for Friends – Continually Updated
These Requirements are all advertised for free on behalf of friends and some are for me directly.
Priority Listing: I need a 1 bungalow with garden, location open anywhere in UK. Urgent Requirement
The List
- Pub required to purchase – West Country
- Lifestyle Businesses required on North Wales
- Former Initial Shorrock engineers required to provide advice. Urgent.
- Shipping containers required (2 possibly 3)
- Small business investor requires new projects – current pot £250k – must be located in home counties.
- 2 bedroom house required – Uxbridge or close by
- Transactional Forex capability – white label required for new project
- Security Consultant Required – Short assignment – Site Survey and Report*
- Petrol station required to purchase – Northern England/Scotland
- Lifestyle Businesses required Welsh Borders
- One bed flat or bungalow required in Gloucestershire.
- Mobility Scooter Required
- Feeds required for new web project.
- Care homes required
- Franchisee recruitment specialist required, experience with care businesses, service businesses and retail a bonus. References Required.*
- Chromebook required
- Car Leasing Required – Jeep Avenger or Peugeot 2008
- Pub required – Cumbria
- Hotels in Ireland Required on “Wild Atlantic Way” route – Mid 2025 must have excellent disabled access.
- Small hotel required Scottish highlands/islands
- SuiteCRM/PHP CRM expertise required*
- Psion 3MX wanted
- Disabled business person seeks new opportunities (X2)
- First Requirement – East Midlands
- Second Requirement – M25 Circle.
- Narrowboat required
- Lifestyle businesses wanted in France
- Small hotel required in the Czech Republic.
- Samsung Galaxy S3 Smartwatch wanted
- Cattery required, Warwickshire – February 2025
- External Signage required – Please ask for spec.
- Holiday cottage required – West Wales – February 2025 – 1 week
- Wheelchair required
- Liveaboard boat required
- Home Burglar alarm system
- Builder Required Herefordshire. Small project.
- PA/GA required. West Midlands.
- Cottage required in Normandy
- Android Tablet Required 128GB +
- Lifestyle businesses Required – Sheffield/South Yorkshire
- Commercial Project Director Required with UK government experience*
- HP 200LX wanted
- Pub required in the Costa Del Sol.
- Home security camera’s
- Docker Expert Required*
- Kubernetes expertise required*
- Project Manager and Project Planner required for an agricultural to leisure/destination transformation project in Ireland. Must have done a similar project before and have references.*
- Bungalow Required – Sheffield/South Yorkshire
- Psion LX wanted
- Websites wanted to purchase.
- Lifestyle businesses required in Cheshire
- Small business investor requires new projects – current pot £200k
- Assistance with AI, OpenAI, ChatGPT and ChatGPT tools required*
- Commercial Officer for B2B startup required from October 2024.*
- Lawyer Required. Must be specialist in taking action against the police.
- Pub required South West London
- Full stack developer required – November 2024
- A website manager or website operator is required on an effort-equity swap basis from January 2025. This is for a B2B project. The site is currently in pre-production and development (concurrent phases). References Required.*
- Accountant Required*
- Potential requirement – Drone tuition
- Domestic carer required. Leamington Spa*
- PHP Developer required (3-5 days)
- One bed flat required Cheshire
- Small plot of land required – Cumbria
- 1 bed flat required to rent – Canary Wharf
- Microsoft Surface Laptop required minimum 16GB RAM 512GB SSD wanted
- Lifestyle businesses required in Yorkshire
- New electricity supplier required
- Logo design and branding required for startup
- Olivetti Quaderno wanted
- GPD Pocket Laptop wanted
- Pub required to purchase – West Midlands
- VPS Server for project required
- New web host required
- Motorola 8800x wanted
- I have various pieces of intellectual property for sale, please see the website for more information.
- Small business investor requires new projects – current pot £150k
- Lifestyle businesses wanted in Ireland
- Bungalow Required – West Midlands
- One bed flat required- Sheffield/South Yorkshire
- PPC Expert required*
*Absolutely no recruitment agencies please. Direct only please.
South Yorkshire Requirements
The following is required in the South Yorkshire region.
- One Bedroom Bungalow
- Woodland
- Lifestyle Businesses
- Retail Businesses
- Cafes
- Bars
- Pubs
- Restaurants
- Small Plots of land
- Static Caravans/Lodge Homes.
Please feel free to share these requirements with your networks.
Please contact me if you have any of the above available.
A Form is available below.
Court Report
Court Guinness Mission Control Report
CourtWatch
Grade 10 – Alert!
LOC:
BHX01
LMPI:
Imminent
PL:
10
GH:
10
A/B
10
PA:
10
MH:
10
TL:
10
PIGTR:
10
OS:
10
LG:
10
SFTY:
10
SEC:
10
CourtFax
Green Light
Primary:
WatfordGap
Secondary:
NewportPagnell
Media:
Recall01
Wintel:
Good
Android:
Good
Mobile:
Good
Connected:
Watford Gap
RIG:
Wrangler
NextCloud:
DR Config
Security Systems:
Operational
Courtg9000 Website:
Content backlog
Home Ops Systems:
Operational
Other Services:
Watford5 Offline
Quick Stats
This Month:
33,533
Last Month:
80,742
Annual:
379,550
Average Month:
31,716
Growth:
5.385%
2025 Year End Target:
2,279,378
Podcast
Podcasts Produced:
465
Current Podcast:
Season 20, Episode 17
Podcast Listens:
669,469
Police Action Update
Number of days police have failed to correct theft by police officers from premises of Court Guinness:
577
Days Too Many
Breaches of the Court Guinness Police Policy by the Police
62
Action Taken by Police
0%
Hours of time wasted by wasted by Court Guinness on this:
90
Value of items stolen from my home by police officers?
£19,640
No Of Days Since Initial Theft?
1,469
Other
Headache Grade
10
Days With Headache
1,042
State:
HbNoMo
Lucy The Cat Status:
Lucy Is Fine
Status:
Court Suffering from extended sleep hits, pain hits, breathing issues and blackouts.
Message:
None
Last Updated:
14/08/2025 @ 17:25
That’s all for now thank you for reading.
Best regards
Court
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