After a good deal of prayer and reflection, today marked my last service as a choral scholar. Stepping down has not been an easy decision, and it certainly does not diminish my gratitude for the years of music-making that came before it. Singing with a choir, Sunday by Sunday, has been a genuine joy and a significant source of encouragement in my life.
The past year has been a demanding one across a number of areas, and I found myself increasingly worn down, including in my commitments to the choir. Reaching a point of honesty about that took time. Staying would have been unfair to both the people I sing with and me.
Access to music never came without others' effort. Braille transcription made full participation possible, and the professional support I received in getting music into my hands was deeply appreciated. Without that, none of it would have happened.
Leadership changes were already in motion when I left. A new director arrives next week on a three-month contract, stepping into a role that has been vacant for a long time. Pre-briefings had already taken place, and an existing member plans to co-lead alongside him. Complaints are already queued. The timing of my departure, as it turns out, was not wrong.
Composure was the plan for today. Grief had other ideas, and I broke down in front of the choir before the service was done. The liturgy carried me through the rest of it, which is its own kind of grace.
Kindness followed, and I am grateful for that. An open door was offered, and the goodbyes were warm. A new chapter begins now, with the search for good teaching, good community, and yes, good music still very much underway.
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