#chronicfatiguelife — Public Fediverse posts

The last couple of days have left me feeling foggy and gross. And I realised today -- this is probably my body recovering from doing the fayre on Saturday. But as said, brain fog, and super hefty. The kind that makes me want to go back to sleep to avoid existing. I've not had it this bad in quite awhile, so I had almost... forgotten? Or blocked it out at least, heh.

Yesterday's book realisation was awesome, and lead to a nice convo with the ex that pointed me at the series. When does the ex label drop off for most of y'all, and then switch to friend? Because I legit have exes from 30 years ago that I still think of as exes, even if we're friends now. Having said that, it's possibly the same (autistic-fuelled) pedantry that has me referring to my dad as my (step)dad. Because even if he was the only dad in my life, we're not blood relatives (and aren't I glad about that).

Anyways. Back to more fluids to see if I can was the fog away. Honk. ><

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

In good spirits. I woke up pretty quickly post-alarm... snooze or two maybe, max? Which is impressive, since the usual issue is 'manages to turn snooze off, sleeps for another 3-4 hours'. I'm feeling a bit worn down today, but I still got the things done I needed to do (work, Etsy order packed and shipped, a few household chores, etc). So back to being flopped and not like, thinking or moving much.

Nothing on the weekend agenda that I'm aware of, which, of course, hallelujah and all that. xD It's a long weekend too, not that it matters much since I don't work Mondays anyways. I always consider taking Tuesday off to be cheeky, but at it'll be the first banking day of the month, I probably should work.

*claps hands* Right. Back to actually knitting, le gasp.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Nothing much to report really; the 'exciting' point of my day is trying a new flavour of Monster Ultra (guava -- it's pretty good!). I'm undecided if it should enter my regular rotation if the site I buy from has it, but I'm glad I've tried it.

I actually completed all the achievements for 'Fields of Mistria' yesterday; that might be the second game I've ever platinum'd; I'm currently playing the only other one I'm sure I have right now ('Project Hospital'). I'm not sure what I want to play next, but it's always good to have a palate cleansing game to go to.

Right. Not particularly hungry today, which, creatine I guess? Making myself a Huel so at least I'm eating something. I got spouse to pick me up my own blender cup so I don't have to share with the teen, who never washes it for anyone else. Cleaning my own cup to reuse is somehow easier on the brain than doing it to the shared cup? xD

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #gaming

So! A couple of days of creatine, and I feel... not energetic, but if there's like, a tiny bit in the battery? Which means I'm having to remind myself to be extra careful to not burn it out. But like, self, there's dishes I can wash! xD Hopefully I can get through a lot of them whatever the case; it's the best use I can put any extra energy I have towards. For now, it's definitely another round of sitting, resting, and caffeine.

But yeah, who knows if it's coincidence, placebo, or actual good at this point. I know my spouse looks a bit more perky as well -- and that friends I trust have read similar things to myself suggesting creatine can be useful for our situation(s).

Right, sounding like an advert here, ha ha. Just like, vaguely hopeful for a hot minute

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Finished work nice and early, in time for the rest of my family to fuck off for a few hours. So me? I did a puzzle by myself, which was glorious. I took the obligatory picture, and then immediately reboxed it so that spouse and youngest can do it later.

I had read somewhere that taking creatine can help with energy issues of having chronic fatigue/long covid. I know, you can find anything on the internet to support any opinion, but. It seemed worth trying. My sugar cravings have reduced quite a bit, which is promising. I don't expect to suddenly break out into calisthenics or something hilarious like that, but if it helps, then it's worth trying.

*back to Mistria!*

#deardiary #dailylog #housestuff #chronicfatiguelife

Today continues with the feeling weak AF rudeness. I've done the few bits I need to do so far, but like. I'm hitting walking is a bit much territory. I mean, after 30 years of chronic fatigue (the anniversary is this month sometime), I should know it could get worse at some point, but I wasn't prepared for it. Not sure you can prepare for something like that, heh.

So yeah. Just have to manage to go next door and feed cats again, and feed our cats on the way to bed, and I've met my required chores. I would love to have a bit of energy spare to help with like, dishes, but. *sighs*

Anyways.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Left the house today! Which is to say, walked an Etsy order down to the Post Office. But I felt human enough to do it, and made it back not feeling completely wiped out.

I took youngest with me, and on the way back I started swearing for giggles. Spouse thinks we (youngest and I) curse too much, so I figured we'd get it out of our system while out of the house. I mean, it's not like it actually does, but it's an amusing moment to have.

Anyhoos. Onward with my day.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

I am doing my very best to do nothing. My body was/is doing severe sugar cravings to recover from feeling so ill yesterday, which. Less than ideal. I'm certainly not going to moralise at myself for my body demanding I cram sweet things in at pace. Would it be better if it didn't? Well yeah. But I listen to my body, even when it makes those demands because it means it needs it to manage things like, hey, getting better food in me.

Disability is fuuun.

Childing survived London and returned in one piece. They're not feeling their best today, but I'm sure they were walking around a lot, and jamming out. That kind of fun takes a toll, but at least they too have nothing they need do for a few days to recover from it. I look forward to hearing more when they're up to chatting, and in the interim are glad they kept in constant contact with their father while out.

(timing is everything -- they just came down and chatted a bit)

Anyhoos. Back to being a lump.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Spouse made a decision last night -- and now we have a new printer in situ. We'd been planning on replacing the current one (an HP OfficeJet Pro 8710), because it had gotten a bit ghost-y when wifi print requests came in... which was all the print requests. It's been replaced with a Brother MFC-L3740CDWE, which. Lasers! I'm pretty sure I've never had a colour laser printer before. We pretty much all printed out random test images for science, and were pleased with the results.

I noticed yesterday that my rampant sugar cravings have pushed back closer to normal. Is my fatigue slightly less chronic now? Who knows. It is sort of a relief because it was like, super over the top levels of 'need it now'. It's still slightly elevated, but hopefully it means I'm almost back to some version of normal.

For now, yarn, games, the usual. Currently trying to climb up the side of a mountain in 'Valheim' to get to Moder. I *finally* found a vegvisir giving a location clue yesterday, which, good. I'm hoping that if I start again, I won't get stuck going through so much Mistlands to get to a Mountains biome boss. *shakes head*

#deardiary #dailylog #gaming #valheim #chronicfatiguelife

Oh la, I'm here. Just continuing to wander around in 'Valheim' and knit. Second sock is coming along nicely; I'm almost done with the gusset. Yes, squidgy word, but anyways!

Not a lot past that. Just feeling weak and... that is what it is. I wish it were otherwise so I could be more helpful around the house, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it either.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Keeping busy. I was getting my lil freebie crochet hearts replenished last night when I got slammed by a massive wave of brain fog. Like... brain fog so bad sewing a bit of ribbon on is too daunting? Yeah. Rude AF. I managed to push it back a smidge with caffeine though, so I got most of the task finished last night.

As for today (hair washing aside, and done, woo), I'm redoing my dice pride bracelets. I currently have an opening option available, but as nobody buys it, I'm reconfiguring them all to be closed//on stretchy elastic. I will change the listings to note that hey, I can do different sizes, but here's the default one. I've been paring that down a bead for the most part to try and be 8 to 8.25 inches, because gender neutral jewellery, so. We'll see.

Bonus: I had one bracelet explode on me, so I ended up getting the vacuuming and removing some of the dust bunnies under my desk. I'm sure they will plot my demise in the night; I can only hope Sir Vivi fends them off of his territory, ha ha.

Right, back to work. Lots to do, lots to do.

#deardiary #dailylog #crafting #brainfog #chronicfatiguelife

Existing! Vaguely! Got my hair washed, which was the main thing. Treated myself to an ice cream when the van came up the street, which my guts tell me wasn't the best idea. Rude? Rude. *chuckles*

Having said that, I slept super poorly yesterday, and I'm already feeling quite sleepy? Hopefully it pulls around. I'm really bored of feeling so weak that a stiff breeze could knock me over. I'd really like my body to reassure me that this isn't my new normal. ><

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

I am definitely lump this morning. Noon. Crap, evening, ha ha. Oh well. Mainly just grateful we have air conditioning, because it was 27C/81F *in my house* when I woke up this morning. I'm not having that. It's currently sitting at a much comfier 19C/66C here... though it's 28C/82F in my bedroom upstairs. :s

So yeah, just. Feeling completely wiped out, hoping that the next week off will contribute to me feeling more human. Probably not, ha ha. But at least I won't be doing things, so. That's something.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #cats #catsofmastodon #tuxedocats #caturday #raventhecat

I had a realisation today, and I'm not that impressed. I realised I've had brain fog for so long that I... sort of forgot it was there? I mean, I guess it means I've done my best at making do within my means, but still, like. How do you *forget* your brain is impaired? Or did I just answer my own question there, ha ha.

((sometimes, you've got to laugh so you don't cry. this might well be one of those times.))

Still, I got through work in a reasonable time, and have been able to return to resting. Well, trying to complete all the deeds in Pokopia, ha ha. I've almost completed everything I can in Withered Wasteland, and then it's on to Bleak Beach for the same treatment. I've got a note up on my computer next to the Serebii database of items, so I can try to make all the Pokemon have awesome lives (and of course, use as much furniture up as possible).

So yeah.

#deardiary #dailylog #fibro #pokopia #chronicfatiguelife

Existing persists. I'm curled up trying to focus enough to finish this poor second sock, but I keep getting distracted by shiny objects. *giggles* Is fine. As long as I'm not moving too much and resting as best I can. I've tentatively declared it an active fibro flare, based on the fact that I feel like I'm being slightly electrocuted. I honestly can't think of a better way to explain it at the second.

So. Yeah. It goes. I'm in fairly good spirits all told, but yanno, would be nice to have a day where I felt half human. It's been a long spell without it.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #babyfibro

I am definitely in recovery mode today. I woke up *SUPER LATE* (12:48pm), and have been limping around the times I do get out of my chair. I'd commented to my beloved @moonrabbit that I should expect it, since I overdid it the entire weekend after our declutterer visited, and have been in recovery since.

So of course, this is now the day that house reorg is happening. The eldest wanted their desktop moved upstairs, which we agreed was reasonable. It also means that it gives the younger more space downstairs, which is fair compensation for her having -zero- room in her bedroom (it was a small room to start with, and the previous owner fitted a wardrobe that takes up a third of the room). We're not against getting the wardrobe potentially removed in future... but that requires us to get the stuff we're storing out of it. *laughs*

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #housestuff

I've made the executive decision that I'm not going to work tomorrow. Well, if there's anything specific spouse needs of me, I can manage to help, but I think I want to rest before Saturday morning. That fayre starts at 10am, which means being there for 9am-ish, and stars that's beyond early, likely to be in bed even on weekdays for me. But also, taking tomorrow off means I can squish in an extra hairwash then, which feels more 'right' than doing it today.

But also just, I continue to be weak levels of exhausted. It's so rude. I mean, let's be honest, this is me *still* paying for overdoing it the other week. Because that's chronic fatigue, yo. I mean, I still know I have it better than other sufferers. I can get by staying upright in my back friendly chair, and not leaving my desk environs often. Said environs are enriched with things that bring me pleasure. I mean, I guess if I could have -a- wish to make things better is that it took me less than an hour to get out of bed. ><

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Time has gotten away from me today, which... good, probably. Means I'm distracted and not focused on my ambient pain. I was thinking about it too much this morning, because like... a part of me worries that people think I'm mocking their pain situation because of what I 'shrug off'. Having said that, I spend like, 99.5% of my waking hours in a chair with a good back, so... that obviously mitigates a lot of it. ><

((so of course, a headache comes crunching in. I don't think I can ignore it, so all hail Vaporub and paracetamol))

So yeah, just like, games and making bracelets. I'm sure that I will be disappointed next weekend and not manage to sell any, because fayres and I seem to not agree on selling things. But I'm also planning at selling them at a ridiculously undercutting the crap out of myself price, so... maybe I'll at least get my table fee of £10 back? And in the interim, I *am* enjoying making them, so.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

I have had to be careful today. The weak/exhaustion feels borderline fibro flare, and I would prefer to not go there. Having said that, I still had to go to the Post Office to return something else (sigh!), but like. I would like to do dishes? Spouse is on the same page, but he's also currently grumbling that he wants to go to bed now.

What else... oh stars, so, I chaos goblinned a bit last night. I ended up running over and slapping a FREE CANDY on the back window of the sketchy sex van... which didn't get noticed until this morning. Spouse was wheeze-laughing because it was still there when the van pulled up. It currently is living on my neighbour's bathroom door (as pictured). I was a tiny bit worried I'd gone too far, but apparently it was received in the good humour it was left in. Whew.

Right, back to lumping and being careful.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #freecandy

Caught up on work, woo, etc. Which means I then turned around and started doing too many lil chores around the house, ha ha. Having said that, I feel like I'm making a bit of a difference, so that's pretty nice.

Past that, gaming and trying to remember to catch my breath. Digging into my taffy delivery; I got 2 kilos, so maybe it'll last more than a day. xD

I've also decided what I want to do for cross-stitch itch right now -- take my pride flag patterns, and convert them into heart patterns. I figure I can offer those for sale, and if someone wants to pay me to make one for them, that can happen too. Having said that, I'm sure I'll make an enby and bi for my own environs, hee hee.

#deardiary #dailylog #crossstitch #pride #chronicfatiguelife

First day back to work after the break, and of course, I had 99 problems (in the form of having 99 invoices to process, ha ha). But they're done, and hopefully there won't be too many invoices to deal with tomorrow. Hopefully.

Of course, I've had gratuitous amounts of caffeine to find the focus to get through what I managed to get through, so my brain is like 'we're laser! let's do things!', which um. Body says no, ha ha. Like, the thing I really wanna do is defur the stairs, because it's been a bit and they're kind of foggy with the fur. Even with good tools, it takes a bit of welly, and [welly not found (legit, where are my wellies?! xD)].

Maybe I can turn some of the focus-not-energy into writing some ISG bits to poke with. I didn't get much done last week because kids off school/me off work, but that's fine too. We're still slumbering a bit, though hopefully spring/soon/etc.

(which tangentially, if you were interested in joining the guild or learning more --

Blog: https://indiesellersguild.org
Website: https://isgco.org
Discord: https://discord.gg/bWWeCCgM)

As it were, the weekly craft and chat is in a hour, so. Good time to poke one's head in.

<3

#deardiary #dailylog #isg #indiestrong #indiesellersguild #workdaze #chronicfatiguelife

I've got my area just about tidied up; my head appreciates it. There's still stuff that needs shifting around, but it's good enough for this precise second.

Bonus -- got a craft chore done. My bi pride necklace went missing when we went out on Monday, so I had to make myself a new one. I remembered I already had some dice of the right colours pre-drilled, so it wasn't too many spoons more to push through and get it done.

Right. Time to be half-assedly social.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Today is definitely recovery mode. For one, I slept poorly, and for two, yeah, I can feel in my body that I left the house and did things. Even having had the mobility scooter (free rental from the centre itself), I did more walking than I normally do, and it tells.

But hey, it's pancake day? Spouse is getting the batter ready right now. Nom nom, etc.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Feeling a bit worn down, but then, I think I've done Entirely Too Much™® so far. But work-work is done for the day, and I got my Etsy trickle listing up too. So at least my self-imposed must-dos are done, and I can lump.

Lump so good. xD

Less good is the world being on fire still, heh. I'm keeping an ear on things, but I know I don't have the energy to spend on it, so I don't. Which sometimes sounds like a snotty admission, because I don't do it with a side of self-flag gelation like I would have earlier. But again, don't have the energy to waste on that either.

(love y'all etc)

<3

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

As expected, I'm completely wiped out from yesterday. Spouse is too, but he's still been doing things. He took eldest and their girlfriend to the pool, which I presume was a make-up for it being closed last weekend due to a contamination incident (make of that what you will xD). He's currently taking the electric drum kit out into the garage, which, yay! One less thing in the kitchen!

Me, I'm just like... not moving. A part of me is so worn out that I kind of want to lay down, but I resent being horizontal during not-sleep hours. Maybe it would be a different story if naps were restorative; I only really go for waking hours horizontality if I'm ill enough that I am going to sleep through a portion of it. I'm definitely feeling not great right now/worse than usual, but not that level of bad.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Blergh, getting stabbed by headache at the moment. I've put some Vaporub on my temples, so hopefully that pushes it back. Having said that, I'll probably manage to forget I have it until it stabs again, ha ha. It's such a weird chronic pain thing to forget you have a severe headache going on, but anyways.

Spouse is starting to feel less stressed about all the things that have been on the table. Which means we're finally booked in for our every two year eye exam. I'm convinced each time that this is the year for verifocals, and this year is no different. Watch this space, I guess? *laughs* We still have to book in for flu... but we're still off the free Covid list after the last round. Rude? So rude. A high street vaccine is like, £100, so... I guess we'll stick with our tried and mainly true never leaving the house. ><

(I'm more or less okay with that. All my cool stuff is here, after all.)

Right. Back to trying to rub two spoons together to try and get some progress made on the dishes. Chores are never done.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Whew, I have probably done entirely too much, but. At least some of the household chores are processed, and I hopefully won't have to think about anything else for the rest of the day.

I finished another pumpkin last night, with the help of easily the most ridiculous thing I have ever purchased -- a foot long upholstery needle, ha ha. But it made shaping the segments a lot easier, and it also meant I got to wave the pumpkin at my youngest and say, 'I wash myself with a pumpkin on a stick'. Not that she got 'The Simpsons' reference, but still. :D

Today is more pumpkin, LotRO, and as said -- hopefully not moving anymore. I still haven't gotten around to taking pain meds for my severe, but not as bad as yesterday headache. I'm so far mainly fending it off with Vaporub.

<3

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife #cats #catsofmastodon #caturday #vivithecat #tuxedocats #vaporubismagic

I'm having a rather productive day by my metrics. My hair is clean, I've got the pumpkin off to the Post Office, and I've managed a few household chores. Whoa self, take it easy now. xD

I'm trying to think about how I want to handle selling stuff to the US. On Etsy, it's going to require me putting all the extra charges on as postage -- because there's not a specific 'price to the US' option. Yet. Probably never, since that would have people clamouring for more countries. A blobshape can hope, eh? And I still have a plugin to look at for my offsite, but again, lack of brainspoons.

I'm also thinking that maybe, it's time for me to use Baby more. Baby is an old HP laptop that I bought for lulz, and as she doesn't get used much, the keyboard isn't knackered like on my proper laptop (currently typing this on my desktop). Of course, still on board with potentially buying a flat thin keyboard to slap on the latter... I will have to think about it.

#deardiary #dailylog #smallbusiness #chronicfatiguelife

Work is over for the next two weeks, huttah, etc. Currently rubbing lack of spoons together to get pre-holiday chores done. I've got the cat litter boxes fully swapped out, and I've got some laundry to take into the kitchen (it's on the couch, which is a good first step for getting it downstairs xD).

But yeah, still feeling run down. And it's like... did one lil day trip to London really punch me this hard? Or is there just a pile of things that came in the past month or so, heh. Hopefully the time off does me good, though even with having a mobility scooter while we're on holiday, it's still doing more than I normally do. At least there's bubblegum flavoured ice cream? Hopefully? They ran out a lot last time, which was so rude.

Right. Finish my drink, catch my breath a bit more, and then take a few bits upstairs to get started on packing my case.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

I uh, exist. I guess. Got work done, then managed to make some toast. Now I'm wiped out. Like, could this feeling this weak back up a bit? I'm supposed to be enjoying holiday next week. At least I'll have a mobility scooter, so that will definitely help loads.

Currently poking at games and sock. A lot of just kind of like, not doing, doing. If that makes any sense. Anyways.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Feeling like a badass, yes, but also like... suddenly every part of my body feels several times heavier? The fuck? Like thanks, I know we've got chronic fatigue and pain, is there a reason for ramping it up other than lulz? ¬¬ #ow #chronicfatiguelife

Ffff, I woke up super worn out and exhausted. Like, that's describes my baseline with chronic fatigue, but this was worse. Why? No idea -- just happened to be. Thankfully we don't *have* to do anything today, so the only task I set myself was walking to and from the Post Office/shop (a total of 0.2 miles round trip). So I did manage that, and got me some bonus week off energy drinks, and some terrible chocolate for spouse (there's a new coconut Aero bar -- perfect for him, but not for me xD).

Past that, the only thing is mentioning my d'oh yesterday. My energy drink order had come in, and I dropped a box with uh... 18 litres in the form of 36 500ml energy drinks on my foot. Normally when I get a bruise it takes a few days to come up, so I forget its provenance. I clocked this one less than a day later, and it's very dark and large. Which, to be fair -- feetmeat is kind of thin, so. I took some effervescent co-codamol shortly after it happened, so I managed to circumvent any immediate pain.

(I also had a friend declare me mixing said effervescent with orange barley squash (cordial) makes it a cocktail, which is now named Orange Ouchn't)

So yeah, just gonna chug some more energy drinks, play video games, and bask in the a/c. I probably could swap to windows, but I'm rather warm after my lil walk.

#deardiary #dailylog #bloomscrolling #chronicfatiguelife

Right! I've been up and out of bed for an hour. I've had breakfast, I've had caffeine, and now I have time for more caffeine. So yeah, should hopefully be awake and safe to drive. I've also double checked the route so that I remember where to make the turning I need to make, 'cause that's a good use of online street view mapping.

So yeah, will try to remember to check back in after it's done for the day. I can't say I'm expecting big sales, because that never happens, but hopefully it will be a mainly enjoyable experience. Exhausting regardless, so fully expect to go full lump once I'm home.

#deardiary #dailylog #fayres #chronicfatiguelife

Why are bodies, really. I've managed to do further damage to myself in my sleep, most rudely. I managed to coax myself into a hot bath, and a bit of it soaked off, but I should probably think about taking pain meds as well.

I did pick my crochet blanket back up, the poor wonky baby. But I figure that as I keep going, it might flatten out a bit. And if not, well, extra cuddly for whatever kid claims it? I do like the idea of doing it in triple (US)/treble treble (UK), or even bigger, more ridiculously long stitches. Because it amuses me.

Not a lot past that. Just gonna do my best to chill and zone out.

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

I woke up on the later side this morning, and in a fair bit of pain. Which, fair... my dumbass has been overdoing it every which way this past week. But I've done better today. Just like, sat here, and worked on my knitting, and didn't throw myself into any chores (outside of the mando cat litter tending, and the not-chore of harvesting more blackberries to eat).

((I don't think I'll finish this sock today, but tomorrow looks likely))

Past that, amused at the endorphins looking at my TikTok gives me. Random people have seen my videos! Wow! So cool!! It's silly, but considering how much of the internet is set up like a feeder bar to hook a soul on endorphin nibbles... *chuckles*

#deardiary #dailylog #chronicfatiguelife

Right, so. Meeting an online friend for the first time in our acquaintanceship today (16 years?). Got my work-work done quickly. Just took pain meds, because y'all know the score -- no matter how trashed your house, there's that urge to tidy up a bit before company shows up. I've got a small list and have already run the logistics through my head over the past couple of days, so hopefully I'll be able to get a few spaces less junky. Fingers crossed, eh?

#chronicfatiguelife

Mmm, brainfog. No idea what sort of time it is, even though I looked at the clock less than a minute ago. Ah well. *chuckles ruefully* #chronicfatiguelife

My hair is clean. Gold stars, y'all. #chronicfatiguelife