#cheating-incident — Public Fediverse posts

I’ve been so tired

that I could barely respond to the wonderful  messages people have been sending me on a lovely new app that Emerson and Hawthorne put me onto called Roost, and I still couldn’t get to all of them. I feel bad, but resting is important. The emotional and physical toll of the past…yes must be catching up to me.

It’s also been six years to the day since my headmate Peri left our ex-husband, Fang, although she wouldn’t leave for Texas until July 11 (Alaska time), so that may be also contributing to the exhaustion somewhat. July seems to be the month of life-altering decisions and plot twist insanity, whether it was Peri leaving Fang, Eight leaving for Philly a year and some later, him starting the relationship for the first time with Zelda the year after that (I can’t quite recall the date of their anniversary, though, but I know it was late July/early August), or my massive seizures that were a major contributing factor in us leaving Zelda that also happened a year ago today, not to mention me finally divorcing Fang officially last year on July 23. So it’s a heavy month for a lot of reasons, full of life changes and memories and grief.

I will admit that I’m fully anticipating tragedy in some form this month given the seizures last year, or some other kind of major upheaval, but I don’t know what it will be and that scares me and that could also be contributing to my fatigue…

We’ll see what happens, I guess. I’ll keep y’all posted, as always.

-Allēna

I’ve been so tired

that I could barely respond to the wonderful  messages people have been sending me on a lovely new app that Emerson and Hawthorne put me onto called Roost, and I still couldn’t get to all of them. I feel bad, but resting is important. The emotional and physical toll of the past…yes must be catching up to me.

It’s also been six years to the day since my headmate Peri left our ex-husband, Fang, although she wouldn’t leave for Texas until July 11 (Alaska time), so that may be also contributing to the exhaustion somewhat. July seems to be the month of life-altering decisions and plot twist insanity, whether it was Peri leaving Fang, Eight leaving for Philly a year and some later, him starting the relationship for the first time with Zelda the year after that (I can’t quite recall the date of their anniversary, though, but I know it was late July/early August), or my massive seizures that were a major contributing factor in us leaving Zelda that also happened a year ago today, not to mention me finally divorcing Fang officially last year on July 23. So it’s a heavy month for a lot of reasons, full of life changes and memories and grief.

I will admit that I’m fully anticipating tragedy in some form this month given the seizures last year, or some other kind of major upheaval, but I don’t know what it will be and that scares me and that could also be contributing to my fatigue…

We’ll see what happens, I guess. I’ll keep y’all posted, as always.

-Allēna

It is storming outside and Emerson taught me how to play dominos today.

It was pretty fun although he kicked my ass.

I also saw this prompt about small spells to do on your birthday, and half of an enormous poem formed in my head while I was taking my 30 minutes of boredom based on the suggestion to write a letter to yourself a year ago even though it isn’t my birthday. So I’m going to post it here for posterity’s sake.

“annus epilepticus”

you don't know this yet
but the premonitions you've been having of
your own death are true
and a mere few weeks past your 28th birthday 
you will die - just enough - to touch the 
robe of any god you know 
when the subtle fire you've always been 
strikes you back 
and strikes you back again 

you will hang on for just long enough 
for your kind partner to burst into the room
cradle you in his arms 
and guide you, screaming in mortal terror, back into the light 

you have never been good at dying 
but this will take you a hair’s breadth from death
and you will bear the scars on your temporal lobe 
(and speech pattern) long afterwards to prove it

and whether it is by fate or some wild magic 
this will save your life in more ways than you will
know 

for most of July, you will not be able to speak
coherently. you will eventually choke out 
your suspicion that the seizures induced 
Wernicke's aphasia, and everyone who knows 
you will agree with you, a cruel fate for 
you, but more importantly, you will come back…
changed. 

you will start writing better poetry. something 
about the way your brain burned and cracked 
will allow you to see things from a different angle,
to look askance at language in a way you 
never did before. 
the partner that saved your life will convince you 
to start attending a poetry workshop held in a coffeeshop that july. the rhythm of writing and 
performing regularly amongst very talented 
wordsmiths will help break you out of your 
agoraphobia. 
one of them will take notice of the way you
perform, noting its similarity
to Shakespearean acting and encourage you to attend the open mic he runs. 
so you start performing at Linneman's Riverwest Inn again for the first time since 2023 at his 
personal request. 

you will somehow muddle through your divorce 
proceedings on july 23, five years and 13 days 
since leaving your ex husband, and it's a miracle 
you will be able to do that since even getting 
out of bed to use the bathroom still feels like running a marathon, but you're so hell-bound 
and determined to get rid of this man that 
when the judge asks if the marriage fell apart 
due to incompatibility of temperament, you will 
shout ABSOLUTELY loud and clear as day into
the microphone. (you will also show up hours 
early to the hearing. you don't want to miss this
for the world.) when your ex husband replies, it's the most defeated you will ever hear him. 
spite has always been your strong suit. 
the judge will finalize your divorce, and 
then the question arises of who you will
marry next. 

you will leave the answer up to the two people 
you consider yourself married to 
already, a man who cannot lie 
and a boy who cannot tell the truth. 
in a rare show of generosity, the liar boy
will concede to the honest man. 
he will live to regret that decision. you, however,
will not. 

as the months progress, it will become increasingly clear that despite your love 
for him, your relationship with the liar is built 
on sand. surviving your seizures will leave 
you with a new perspective on life and 
precious little patience for wasted time or 
undue stress, and the liar will waste your time
and mess with your head. 
you will tell him he is killing you. he displays no 
remorse. you will scream, beg, plead, and stop 
short of borrowing and stealing to get him to
listen. 
despite his damn near single-minded obsession 
with you that will make you feel like you're
emotionally his hostage, he will not care about
the affect he's having on your other relationships 
or your well being. 

one very early fall morning, after you've spent the 
entire night in the emergency room with him and 
your fiancé, “heat above” by greta van fleet will 
come on. your fiancé will remark that it feels as though you are driving into a different 
timeline as dawn breaks. you, spiritual and full of subtle fire as ever, will respond that you feel it, too. your liar will 
say nothing. 

finally, in november, after 
months of suspicion that he's cheating on you (despite being polyamorous!) 
he will get sloppy and you'll catch him when he
forgets to turn his location off. 
this is your red line and you will dump him over it. 
to add insult to injury, he will tell you you're 
overreacting. 
you will know better than that by now. 

despite your heartbreak, you will feel more 
free after leaving him than you have in months. 
you will compile a dossier of evidence against him
and publish it to the world. 
this is when the mask and gloves come off and it 
will spark
a months long battle of he-said-she said online. 
he will slander both you and your future husband. 
you will have even fewer regrets about leaving 
him. 

one of the final acts you will do before moving 
out from the apartment you and your fiancé share with your liar
is a manifestation ritual that will make you feel 
powerful beyond imagining - you will gaze into 
a mirror with your future husband while “heat above” plays in the background. you will picture yourself in red sunglasses driving down water street with more money and fame
 than sense, husband 
next to you. you pass your former lying flame on 
the street, roll down your window, wave to him like a queen, and ride on 
as if he had never meant a thing to you in the 
first place. 

you will choose “heat above” as the song for your
intentions for the year to come after how that ritual made you 
feel. 

on January 5th, you will feature at Linneman's, your poetic home. 
you will write a brilliant bespoke set for the 
occasion, combining music, poetry, and 
references to shakespeare at the 
host’s request. the audience is small, but they are
so engaged that they offer you a standing ovation at the end.
you have nothing prepared for an encore, so you
will offer them a story about your eccentric 
great uncle. 
it will go over the time limit, but not a soul will 
care. 

you will marry your husband on January 23rd in the 
same coffeeshop that helped you work through 
your agoraphobia. the wedding will be incredibly 
small, but it will be the finest wedding either of 
you have ever attended. the poet who runs 
the workshop that got you writing again will 
write a special poem for the ceremony. 
your friend and frequent collaborator will travel
all the way from Madison to attend. your 
husband's best man will travel all the way from
iowa. your “gentleman of debauchery”, as they are called, is your dear friend who you will 
date a few months later. 

you will wake up the next day in the fabulous 
hotel that your best man and 
a friend of yours who you met 
by chance arranged for you and your husband 
to find that one of the videos you posted from 
the wedding is going viral on instagram. 
it is your first look video, and no one, friend or foe, 
will quite know what to make of it. 
within days, it will amass millions of views.
you will keep posting. 

you will start to get inundated with direct messages from people who are fascinated with 
your body after you get an idea to post videos of
yourself in lingerie that your husband found 
for you at a clothing swap, and because you are
struggling financially, you will decide to start talking 
about your Patreon more. 
to no one’s surprise but your foes, you will get 
subscribers, enough to make hundreds of dollars 
in the first two months you talk about it. 
in the meantime, you will keep going viral. 

a few weeks before your next birthday, on 
your regularly scheduled Internet travels, 
you will come across a creator who found out 
that she copes with mast cell activation syndrome 
and that she has been taking H1 and H2 inhibitors 
for it. you will tell your husband what you saw, and seeing as you've already been taking H1 
inhibitors for some time, he will find you H2 inhibitors. 
you will take them as an experiment, and the 
difference is like night and day. you will feel as 
though you are emerging from a decade in a 
long, dark cave. 

the change will frighten you. 
you will keep going anyway. 

you don't know it yet, but despite everything - 
you will do more than your best this year. 

Allēna 6/5/2026

It is storming outside and Emerson taught me how to play dominos today.

It was pretty fun although he kicked my ass.

I also saw this prompt about small spells to do on your birthday, and half of an enormous poem formed in my head while I was taking my 30 minutes of boredom based on the suggestion to write a letter to yourself a year ago even though it isn’t my birthday. So I’m going to post it here for posterity’s sake.

“annus epilepticus”

you don't know this yet
but the premonitions you've been having of
your own death are true
and a mere few weeks past your 28th birthday 
you will die - just enough - to touch the 
robe of any god you know 
when the subtle fire you've always been 
strikes you back 
and strikes you back again 

you will hang on for just long enough 
for your kind partner to burst into the room
cradle you in his arms 
and guide you, screaming in mortal terror, back into the light 

you have never been good at dying 
but this will take you a hair’s breadth from death
and you will bear the scars on your temporal lobe 
(and speech pattern) long afterwards to prove it

and whether it is by fate or some wild magic 
this will save your life in more ways than you will
know 

for most of July, you will not be able to speak
coherently. you will eventually choke out 
your suspicion that the seizures induced 
Wernicke's aphasia, and everyone who knows 
you will agree with you, a cruel fate for 
you, but more importantly, you will come back…
changed. 

you will start writing better poetry. something 
about the way your brain burned and cracked 
will allow you to see things from a different angle,
to look askance at language in a way you 
never did before. 
the partner that saved your life will convince you 
to start attending a poetry workshop held in a coffeeshop that july. the rhythm of writing and 
performing regularly amongst very talented 
wordsmiths will help break you out of your 
agoraphobia. 
one of them will take notice of the way you
perform, noting its similarity
to Shakespearean acting and encourage you to attend the open mic he runs. 
so you start performing at Linneman's Riverwest Inn again for the first time since 2023 at his 
personal request. 

you will somehow muddle through your divorce 
proceedings on july 23, five years and 13 days 
since leaving your ex husband, and it's a miracle 
you will be able to do that since even getting 
out of bed to use the bathroom still feels like running a marathon, but you're so hell-bound 
and determined to get rid of this man that 
when the judge asks if the marriage fell apart 
due to incompatibility of temperament, you will 
shout ABSOLUTELY loud and clear as day into
the microphone. (you will also show up hours 
early to the hearing. you don't want to miss this
for the world.) when your ex husband replies, it's the most defeated you will ever hear him. 
spite has always been your strong suit. 
the judge will finalize your divorce, and 
then the question arises of who you will
marry next. 

you will leave the answer up to the two people 
you consider yourself married to 
already, a man who cannot lie 
and a boy who cannot tell the truth. 
in a rare show of generosity, the liar boy
will concede to the honest man. 
he will live to regret that decision. you, however,
will not. 

as the months progress, it will become increasingly clear that despite your love 
for him, your relationship with the liar is built 
on sand. surviving your seizures will leave 
you with a new perspective on life and 
precious little patience for wasted time or 
undue stress, and the liar will waste your time
and mess with your head. 
you will tell him he is killing you. he displays no 
remorse. you will scream, beg, plead, and stop 
short of borrowing and stealing to get him to
listen. 
despite his damn near single-minded obsession 
with you that will make you feel like you're
emotionally his hostage, he will not care about
the affect he's having on your other relationships 
or your well being. 

one very early fall morning, after you've spent the 
entire night in the emergency room with him and 
your fiancé, “heat above” by greta van fleet will 
come on. your fiancé will remark that it feels as though you are driving into a different 
timeline as dawn breaks. you, spiritual and full of subtle fire as ever, will respond that you feel it, too. your liar will 
say nothing. 

finally, in november, after 
months of suspicion that he's cheating on you (despite being polyamorous!) 
he will get sloppy and you'll catch him when he
forgets to turn his location off. 
this is your red line and you will dump him over it. 
to add insult to injury, he will tell you you're 
overreacting. 
you will know better than that by now. 

despite your heartbreak, you will feel more 
free after leaving him than you have in months. 
you will compile a dossier of evidence against him
and publish it to the world. 
this is when the mask and gloves come off and it 
will spark
a months long battle of he-said-she said online. 
he will slander both you and your future husband. 
you will have even fewer regrets about leaving 
him. 

one of the final acts you will do before moving 
out from the apartment you and your fiancé share with your liar
is a manifestation ritual that will make you feel 
powerful beyond imagining - you will gaze into 
a mirror with your future husband while “heat above” plays in the background. you will picture yourself in red sunglasses driving down water street with more money and fame
 than sense, husband 
next to you. you pass your former lying flame on 
the street, roll down your window, wave to him like a queen, and ride on 
as if he had never meant a thing to you in the 
first place. 

you will choose “heat above” as the song for your
intentions for the year to come after how that ritual made you 
feel. 

on January 5th, you will feature at Linneman's, your poetic home. 
you will write a brilliant bespoke set for the 
occasion, combining music, poetry, and 
references to shakespeare at the 
host’s request. the audience is small, but they are
so engaged that they offer you a standing ovation at the end.
you have nothing prepared for an encore, so you
will offer them a story about your eccentric 
great uncle. 
it will go over the time limit, but not a soul will 
care. 

you will marry your husband on January 23rd in the 
same coffeeshop that helped you work through 
your agoraphobia. the wedding will be incredibly 
small, but it will be the finest wedding either of 
you have ever attended. the poet who runs 
the workshop that got you writing again will 
write a special poem for the ceremony. 
your friend and frequent collaborator will travel
all the way from Madison to attend. your 
husband's best man will travel all the way from
iowa. your “gentleman of debauchery”, as they are called, is your dear friend who you will 
date a few months later. 

you will wake up the next day in the fabulous 
hotel that your best man and 
a friend of yours who you met 
by chance arranged for you and your husband 
to find that one of the videos you posted from 
the wedding is going viral on instagram. 
it is your first look video, and no one, friend or foe, 
will quite know what to make of it. 
within days, it will amass millions of views.
you will keep posting. 

you will start to get inundated with direct messages from people who are fascinated with 
your body after you get an idea to post videos of
yourself in lingerie that your husband found 
for you at a clothing swap, and because you are
struggling financially, you will decide to start talking 
about your Patreon more. 
to no one’s surprise but your foes, you will get 
subscribers, enough to make hundreds of dollars 
in the first two months you talk about it. 
in the meantime, you will keep going viral. 

a few weeks before your next birthday, on 
your regularly scheduled Internet travels, 
you will come across a creator who found out 
that she copes with mast cell activation syndrome 
and that she has been taking H1 and H2 inhibitors 
for it. you will tell your husband what you saw, and seeing as you've already been taking H1 
inhibitors for some time, he will find you H2 inhibitors. 
you will take them as an experiment, and the 
difference is like night and day. you will feel as 
though you are emerging from a decade in a 
long, dark cave. 

the change will frighten you. 
you will keep going anyway. 

you don't know it yet, but despite everything - 
you will do more than your best this year. 

Allēna 6/5/2026

I made these today.

-Castor

I have no idea how Allēna has kept it together for so long.

I’ve been frontstuck for the past two days and I don’t know how she can front for weeks to months at a time. This is the longest I’ve been in front in about 17 years that I can recall, and the longer it goes on, the more painful it becomes.

There is so much I’ve missed. I’ve been on an island in headspace that Kalla built some years ago that I call Little Patmos trying to make sense of Eight’s insane ramblings, prophecies, and dreams from his tenure as host while the others got out from under Zelda because I knew some shit was going down and I didn’t want to be present for it. That’s been my escape strategy for over the past decade and a half.

I never thought that at any point, I would be the only able or willing fronter. There were too many of us, I thought. Surely Lazarus would be willing to front before I would have to.

But no..

Two days ago, I woke up in front. Peri was carrying a rather large gun, dressed like Sir Integra from the anime Hellsing Ultimate. She has staunchly refused to front, citing some threat she’s unwilling to disclose.

Australis, a new arrival in my absence, looked like he’d seen a ghost.

Tristan and Theo have both been more concerned with other matters rather than fronting. That leaves me as the only fronter currently anywhere close to headspace as well as acting host until Allēna comes back from wherever she is.

I’ve been slowly coming to grips with the fact that Allēna and Eight especially have accomplished everything I wanted to do in life multiple times over, Zelda, the first person who could touch me and it not hurt long term in years, used us up and threw us away, and we are now legally married for the second time.

I have no idea who I am anymore. I barely have a sense of where I am. I feel like a fucking shell. If we were still drinking, I would be shitfaced under some table right now. But I am not going to do that, as tempting as it sounds.

Here’s to self discovery, I suppose?

And Zelda, if you’re still keeping up with this blog, go fuck yourself. Better yet, don’t. I hope no one ever touches you again, you piece of shit. I know I got back with you last summer, but I regret that decision every day. Allēna deserved better. I deserved better. Emerson and Beany definitely deserved better. Everyone you’ve ever talked shit about deserved better. I’ll see you in hell.

I’m going to go try and get some sleep once I’m done crying.

-Castor

As a response to a rash of anonymous hate mail I have received over the past couple days,

I have created a wealth of supplies for The Opps.

The following designs are available on my Redbubble shop in many forms for their hate club.

My haters can purchase hate club supplies here and here.

I might as well turn the fact that these mother fuckers can’t keep my name out of their mouths into laughs and cold, hard cash.

If anyone wonders why I did this, I was bored and unsupervised. Thank you very much and good night.

-Allēna

As a response to a rash of anonymous hate mail I have received over the past couple days,

I have created a wealth of supplies for The Opps.

The following designs are available on my Redbubble shop in many forms for their hate club.

My haters can purchase hate club supplies here and here.

I might as well turn the fact that these mother fuckers can’t keep my name out of their mouths into laughs and cold, hard cash.

If anyone wonders why I did this, I was bored and unsupervised. Thank you very much and good night.

-Allēna

As a response to a rash of anonymous hate mail I have received over the past couple days,

I have created a wealth of supplies for The Opps.

The following designs are available on my Redbubble shop in many forms for their hate club.

My haters can purchase hate club supplies here and here.

I might as well turn the fact that these mother fuckers can’t keep my name out of their mouths into laughs and cold, hard cash.

If anyone wonders why I did this, I was bored and unsupervised. Thank you very much and good night.

-Allēna

I had a very busy day yesterday and I am exhausted from packing today.

I went to a ball yesterday that was more like a dance party in disguise because the DJ seemed to be allergic to playing slow songs. I also made a masterpost on Facebook regarding the ongoing situation with Zelda in response to an anonymous question I received. If you’d also like to send me anonymous questions, click here.

-Allēna

Moving wore me out.

I slept for a long time today and I’m still tired. We still have a lot more to move.

-Allēna

I was so tired that I fell asleep without writing yesterday.

I confess that I’ve been holding out on y’all.

We got a new apartment and are moving in slowly but surely! It’s a helluva workout and very hard on both Emerson and I, but even the cats are more relaxed now.

-Allēna

“supplication”

you have taken the world that I was
and left me empty 
craving 
longing
is there anything that I can use to fill the chasm 
on the side of the bed where you once slept 

I stumble home 
if I can even still call it that 
for in the taking, you 
took more than just yourself 
you took everything that meant something to me
from this space and left it ruined 
just like me 

now even the flies are starving

sobs wrack my threadbare chest 
everyone that I once knew is turning
away from me and into their own personal 
darkness, tired
can you come back and give me anything 
even undo me again
please 

-Allēna 1/11/2026

I wrote this today.

It’s called “the denouement”. It’s about Zelda.

13 years 
13 years
I peered through the bars of
your wintry love into the flame 
and I saw the future 
laying on the kitchen floor in 2022 -

13 years 
13 years and decreasing - 
I declared to you 
that you'd see the end of it all
but not much more 

11 years
10 
you fancy yourself inimitable 
invincible 
sophomoric survivor 
but you drink your rage and heartbreak 

9 years 
9 years 
I know the signs of alcohol poisoning from 
watching my first husband 
watching my father

8 years –
you terrified me the first time 
scarcely a week in

7 years 
and you cheated the first time when
we’d barely been together for two months
I thought I could finally rest
fucking fool was I

6 years 
6 years left 
I watch you try to outrun your demons 
again 
again 
again 
but they've always been faster
or perhaps you've always loved them more 
than you could ever love me

5 years 
4 years 
and I watch the tests roll in 
I know how it goes 
first the heart
then the kidneys 
then the liver
then the rest
then the cash out, the flare out
alone

when you are spent
who will be there to catch you
except the bottom of the bottle? 

-Allēna

Moderate to severe fatigue and weakness persists,

BUT Emerson and I went to a cat rescue yesterday and saw SO MANY good babies. He wanted to adopt a petite void named Zack but couldn’t afford the adoption fee.

Zelda is AWOL, I’ve only seen them for a few hours since New Year’s Eve when they came home last night to crash after leaving their cats locked in their room for a bit over two days.

Mercifully the cats are free now. Who knows where the fuck Zelda is or what (read: who) they are doing.

I’m so tired. I can’t wait to move the fuck out of this shithole.

-Allēna

I wrote this early this morning. I’m very proud of it.

I've spent too much time
wrapped around the axle of your love 
three “I wish I didn't miss you” winters soured 
I am regretfully tightly wound and solemn
every day’s a funeral and I break the cold ground 
hours before daybreak 
this is one burial that is long overdue 

I don't hate this city 
I have come to love it perhaps in spite of you 
I make praise to its neighborhoods and 
the lake effect snow 
my world is finally becoming bigger than the 
four walls that we share
you no longer dictate the pace, nor do you set 
the price of it
there was once a time that I would have gone out
and bought the entire city for you if only you'd 
asked, unto half my kingdom, but you never did
and now you hate me for things you never 
had the courage to say 
and the lies that I drank from your mouth 
like a perverse communion, for
when I laid us to rest, you
had only ash to eat and 
nakedness to wear 

so wander these cold, crooked streets wild
calling for someone to cover up what you did
some new soul to eat your sin
while I repair the frayed ends 
I tore from you

-Allēna 11/27/2025

#breakup #cheatingincident #milwaukee #sadpoem #zelda

I wrote this early this morning. I’m very proud of it.

I've spent too much time
wrapped around the axle of your love 
three “I wish I didn't miss you” winters soured 
I am regretfully tightly wound and solemn
every day’s a funeral and I break the cold ground 
hours before daybreak 
this is one burial that is long overdue 

I don't hate this city 
I have come to love it perhaps in spite of you 
I make praise to its neighborhoods and 
the lake effect snow 
my world is finally becoming bigger than the 
four walls that we share
you no longer dictate the pace, nor do you set 
the price of it
there was once a time that I would have gone out
and bought the entire city for you if only you'd 
asked, unto half my kingdom, but you never did
and now you hate me for things you never 
had the courage to say 
and the lies that I drank from your mouth 
like a perverse communion, for
when I laid us to rest, you
had only ash to eat and 
nakedness to wear 

so wander these cold, crooked streets wild
calling for someone to cover up what you did
some new soul to eat your sin
while I repair the frayed ends 
I tore from you

-Allēna 11/27/2025

#breakup #cheatingincident #milwaukee #sadpoem #zelda

I wrote this early this morning. I’m very proud of it.

I've spent too much time
wrapped around the axle of your love 
three “I wish I didn't miss you” winters soured 
I am regretfully tightly wound and solemn
every day’s a funeral and I break the cold ground 
hours before daybreak 
this is one burial that is long overdue 

I don't hate this city 
I have come to love it perhaps in spite of you 
I make praise to its neighborhoods and 
the lake effect snow 
my world is finally becoming bigger than the 
four walls that we share
you no longer dictate the pace, nor do you set 
the price of it
there was once a time that I would have gone out
and bought the entire city for you if only you'd 
asked, unto half my kingdom, but you never did
and now you hate me for things you never 
had the courage to say 
and the lies that I drank from your mouth 
like a perverse communion, for
when I laid us to rest, you
had only ash to eat and 
nakedness to wear 

so wander these cold, crooked streets wild
calling for someone to cover up what you did
some new soul to eat your sin
while I repair the frayed ends 
I tore from you

-Allēna 11/27/2025

#breakup #cheatingincident #milwaukee #sadpoem #zelda

I wrote this early this morning. I’m very proud of it.

I've spent too much time
wrapped around the axle of your love 
three “I wish I didn't miss you” winters soured 
I am regretfully tightly wound and solemn
every day’s a funeral and I break the cold ground 
hours before daybreak 
this is one burial that is long overdue 

I don't hate this city 
I have come to love it perhaps in spite of you 
I make praise to its neighborhoods and 
the lake effect snow 
my world is finally becoming bigger than the 
four walls that we share
you no longer dictate the pace, nor do you set 
the price of it
there was once a time that I would have gone out
and bought the entire city for you if only you'd 
asked, unto half my kingdom, but you never did
and now you hate me for things you never 
had the courage to say 
and the lies that I drank from your mouth 
like a perverse communion, for
when I laid us to rest, you
had only ash to eat and 
nakedness to wear 

so wander these cold, crooked streets wild
calling for someone to cover up what you did
some new soul to eat your sin
while I repair the frayed ends 
I tore from you

-Allēna 11/27/2025

#breakup #cheatingincident #milwaukee #sadpoem #zelda

I wrote this early this morning. I’m very proud of it.

I've spent too much time
wrapped around the axle of your love 
three “I wish I didn't miss you” winters soured 
I am regretfully tightly wound and solemn
every day’s a funeral and I break the cold ground 
hours before daybreak 
this is one burial that is long overdue 

I don't hate this city 
I have come to love it perhaps in spite of you 
I make praise to its neighborhoods and 
the lake effect snow 
my world is finally becoming bigger than the 
four walls that we share
you no longer dictate the pace, nor do you set 
the price of it
there was once a time that I would have gone out
and bought the entire city for you if only you'd 
asked, unto half my kingdom, but you never did
and now you hate me for things you never 
had the courage to say 
and the lies that I drank from your mouth 
like a perverse communion, for
when I laid us to rest, you
had only ash to eat and 
nakedness to wear 

so wander these cold, crooked streets wild
calling for someone to cover up what you did
some new soul to eat your sin
while I repair the frayed ends 
I tore from you

-Allēna 11/27/2025

#breakup #cheatingincident #milwaukee #sadpoem #zelda

Reblog of MythicMuse:

Reblog via MythicMuse

@opensorceryy Aww sweety no!!!! I’ve been watching you guys just be your happy selves and was so glad for you all. Why people gotta ruin perfectly good things? I’m really sorry that happened.

I really appreciate your kind words.. it’s been rough since finding out, especially since we all live together now. I’m tough, though, and I’ll make it.

-Allēna

#cheatingincident #reblog #reply #zelda

Hi everyone. This is Lazarus.  I haven’t posted here in a hot minute.

I’ve missed y’all. Not much has happened today, but honestly, that’s probably a good thing. Zelda vague posted some dumb shit on Facebook about “being stupid” and “following their heart rather than their head” and Lēna and Emerson commented on the post calling them out for cheating and then posted the entire salvo in a separate post 🤣 Zelda blocked both of them as well as everyone else who flocked to their post to give them a piece of their mind. I think it’s safe to say that they are NOT having a good day. Honestly, after the shit they pulled, good.

Emerson went to the Sunday writer’s workshop, and I felt out of place, but I wanted to see what it was all about. It was fun, semi disorientation aside.

Then we came home and began a rewatch of Bridgerton for the hell of it. I’m still watching, but Emerson is napping. I’m not certain what else will happen tonight, but I’m sure it’ll be juicy. Ehehe.

-Lazarus

#cheating #cheatingincident #emerson #polyamory #sliceoflife #zelda