#catstaketheirhumantowork — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #catstaketheirhumantowork, aggregated by home.social.
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Today's top ten tag trends:
10: #notallwhowanderarelost
9: #zelda
8: #TuneTuesday
7: #turgeo
6: #tercinema
5: #porcze
4: #子供の頃に見て記憶に残ってるCM
3: #gewitter
2: #catstaketheirhumantowork
1: #nba -
刚刚，宇宙望远镜观测到来自51颗星球的186个标签，其中新标签16个。
所有标签中，最热门的是 #catstaketheirhumantowork ，流行指数10.56。
流行指数计算公式为标签流行星球数与单一星球最多使用该标签的用户数的平衡结果（F1 Score）。
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The Chamber of Hisses. “F*ck The Soul Of a your Dead Mother” –I’m particularly proud of that one.
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Purring is an art form. I prefer key of B, but I’m not pretentious about it.
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(World’s fastest nonchalant walk past a blank wall.)
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And this annex—yes, right behind the heating vent—is where our Insanity Screws are tightened 4/7ths too tight... You didn’t think we got the energy for the zoomies on our own dime, did you?
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You can't use teleportation every time or it just won't have the same impact. Here, let's go through some scenarios.
You've woken up everyone in the house yowling at 2 am so they're disoriented. ✅
Someone has been calling you (but not for food) for the past hour but unable to find you. ✅
Letting yourself outside when you could be incredibly annoying and demand in and out repeatedly. ❌ -
This is the liminal space I patrol.
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Okay, so this pad is where we do most of our scratching.
You might find it easiest to start on a chalk board.
Keep it going and I’ll come get you for chow in about three hours
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#CatsTakeTheirHumanToWork #HashtagGames
This is the box testing department .. If we fit , we sit . -
It's 2am. Race ya to the break room! And back! And back again! You're really getting the hang of this!
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Our workday begins at 4AM. Our first order of business is to clear items from the top of the dresser.
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“Nothing - I repeat, NOTHING - stays on the mantelpiece. Got it?” #CatsTakeTheirHumanToWork #HashtagGames
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“Remember, fellow cats, there is no ‘You” in “Meow” there is only me Me ME!”
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See there? A human at the end of the hallway. Stand still and stare until they have successfully negotiated approved passage: three rounds of slow blinking should suffice. But subtle variations in timing or the vaguest of unanticipated movements means we dash off- they have not earned our presence. If they do earn our presence, we may submit them to pet us as they dutifully owe us. The petting is indefinite. If they leave at any point, scowl at them.
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“Thank you, Midnight, for that informative demonstration of String Theory. “
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“We’re going to break for lunch now, which we will promptly reject. See you in 5!”
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Ok, the Zoom meeting has started. Now we jump up on the desk, meow loudly, and show off. I think you hooman also call it something like 'OnlyFans.'
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“The meeting will come to order! COME-TO-ORDER! Don’t make me use the laser pointer!”
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“It’s been a long morning, let’s take a litter box break, and return for stretches in 15 minutes, or maybe the next hour.”
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#CatsTakeTheirHumanToWork
Playing an appropriate soundtrack to keep staff focused & upbeat. -
Halloween is the business work night for black cats – put your good running shoes on, human.
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No! No! Please stop! Twerking you butt is not a good substitute for thrashing your tail.
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DO NOT GET IN THAT BOX! That is Schrödinger’s box you fool.
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We take security seriously here at Shred and Shed.
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#CatsTakeTheirHumanToWork #HashTagGames
"You've gotta give your butthole an extra thorough scrubbing before presenting the news."
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I HATE the motivational posters at this office.
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“No, there are no doors here. Doors just get in the way.
“What is it with humans and doors?”