#borowitzreport — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #borowitzreport, aggregated by home.social.
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Trump Says His Funeral Will Draw Much Bigger Crowd Than Ayatollah’s
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-says-his-funeral-will-draw
#CommanderInCorruption #Trump #Algae #Alga #July #July4th #Ayatollah #Funeral #Borowitz #BorowitzReport
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Trump Says His Funeral Will Draw Much Bigger Crowd Than Ayatollah’s
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-says-his-funeral-will-draw
#CommanderInCorruption #Trump #Algae #Alga #July #July4th #Ayatollah #Funeral #Borowitz #BorowitzReport
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Satire really shouldn't be this close to the truth...
≪Turning to Vice President JD Vance, Zelenskyy scolded, “Ukraine has kept Russia from attacking NATO for four years, and you haven’t said ‘thank you’ once.”≫
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/zelenskyy-rejects-trumps-plea-for
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Satire really shouldn't be this close to the truth...
≪Turning to Vice President JD Vance, Zelenskyy scolded, “Ukraine has kept Russia from attacking NATO for four years, and you haven’t said ‘thank you’ once.”≫
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/zelenskyy-rejects-trumps-plea-for
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“Anyone who thinks this administration is going to run out of assholes any time soon better think again,” Miller told reporters. “We have a very deep bench.”
Another classic from the #BorowitzReport
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-replaces-asshole-with-alternate
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“Anyone who thinks this administration is going to run out of assholes any time soon better think again,” Miller told reporters. “We have a very deep bench.”
Another classic from the #BorowitzReport
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-replaces-asshole-with-alternate
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Another classic from the #BorowitzReport ...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/new-study-links-botox-to-pathological
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Another classic from the #BorowitzReport ...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/new-study-links-botox-to-pathological
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Hegseth Orders Strike on Notorious Drug Traffickers
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/hegseth-orders-strike-on-notorious?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#Satire #TBR #BorowitzReport #USPol #PeteKegseth -
Hegseth Orders Strike on Notorious Drug Traffickers
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/hegseth-orders-strike-on-notorious?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#Satire #TBR #BorowitzReport #USPol #PeteKegseth -
Another classic from the #BorowitzReport... The convict's brain MRI found nothing. Came up empty 🤣
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-claims-mri-on-his-brain-found
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Another classic from the #BorowitzReport... The convict's brain MRI found nothing. Came up empty 🤣
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-claims-mri-on-his-brain-found
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The #borowitzreport does it again!
--8<--
"Lindsey Halligan Reveals Her Dream is to Someday Go to Law SchoolImagining what life would be like if she went to law school, Halligan said, “I wouldn’t make so many mistakes in court and judges wouldn’t always be yelling at me.”
Halligan indicated she had her “fingers crossed” that she would get into law school someday, but added, “I hope screwing up the Comey case won’t hurt my chances.”
--8<--https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/lindsey-halligan-reveals-her-dream
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The #borowitzreport does it again!
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"Lindsey Halligan Reveals Her Dream is to Someday Go to Law SchoolImagining what life would be like if she went to law school, Halligan said, “I wouldn’t make so many mistakes in court and judges wouldn’t always be yelling at me.”
Halligan indicated she had her “fingers crossed” that she would get into law school someday, but added, “I hope screwing up the Comey case won’t hurt my chances.”
--8<--https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/lindsey-halligan-reveals-her-dream
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Another home run for the #BorowitzReport...
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Another home run for the #BorowitzReport...
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Continuing with their roll this week, #BorowitzReport comments on Huge Chávez losing the record for most bats*y crazy speech at the UN.
They didn't even need to say who has the record now - we all know already.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/hugo-chavez-loses-spot-in-guinness
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Continuing with their roll this week, #BorowitzReport comments on Huge Chávez losing the record for most bats*y crazy speech at the UN.
They didn't even need to say who has the record now - we all know already.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/hugo-chavez-loses-spot-in-guinness
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The #BorowitzReport is having a blast this week...
"Study Links Trump Being President to Increased Use of Tylenol"
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/study-links-trump-being-president
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The #BorowitzReport is having a blast this week...
"Study Links Trump Being President to Increased Use of Tylenol"
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/study-links-trump-being-president
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Trump Boasts That Obama Never Got Crowds Like This in UK
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Reacting to the huge number of Britons who came out to greet him on Wednesday, Donald J. Trump boasted that former President Barack Obama “never got crowds like this” when he visited the United Kingdom.
“I mean, the streets are packed with people chanting my name,” he bragged. “And tons of them are carrying signs with ‘Trump’ on them. Wow!”
“I’m told there are even balloons that look like me,” he added in amazement. “If Obama is watching this on TV, it’s gotta be killing him.”
The biggest crowds for Trump were in London, where thousands turned out at Buckingham Palace for the changing of the diaper.
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“It would be devastating for Greenland’s spotless reputation to be ruled by a pedophile,” the spokesperson, Hartvig Dorkelson, said.
“And we're certainly
not going to accept a character reference from Ghislaine.” -
“It would be devastating for Greenland’s spotless reputation to be ruled by a pedophile,” the spokesperson, Hartvig Dorkelson, said.
“And we're certainly
not going to accept a character reference from Ghislaine.” -
From the #BorowitzReport:
How to NOT stop Trump
The following guide is by no means exhaustive, but I hope it helps.Don’ts
Don’t give to a PAC using crummy/deceptive fundraising tactics (e.g. 3x matches, or claiming that the world will explode if you don't give)Don’t give to a PAC or group you’ve never heard of before
Don’t give to a candidate with no chance of winning
Dos
Give to a candidate running in Virginia in their off-cycle election (like Abigail Spanberger for governor)Give money directly to a candidates
For completive seat check out the Cook Political Report. Your money is best spent on races in the “lean” or “tossup” category
If all of this sounds too complicated, here’s one simple thing you can do: give to Jon Ossoff of Georgia. He’s the most vulnerable Democratic Senate incumbent.
A final note: if you have friends and/or family who might find this guide useful, please share it with them! And thanks, as always, for your support.
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Another #BorowitzReport success...
When asked, “What do you fear most?,” 4 percent said, “the homeless,” while 87 percent said, “Being seated at a restaurant next to Stephen Miller.”
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Another #BorowitzReport success...
When asked, “What do you fear most?,” 4 percent said, “the homeless,” while 87 percent said, “Being seated at a restaurant next to Stephen Miller.”
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"If you put that man’s brain in a bumblebee, it would fly backwards.”
Unusually, the #BorowitzReport email this morning is not satirical. It is 100% factual (as stated by the banner over the top). The convict really isn't good at anything.
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"If you put that man’s brain in a bumblebee, it would fly backwards.”
Unusually, the #BorowitzReport email this morning is not satirical. It is 100% factual (as stated by the banner over the top). The convict really isn't good at anything.
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The #BorowitzReport is on top form again this morning!
'At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt blasted Obama’s post, stating, “Sharing actual footage of events that really happened is something that President Trump would never do.”'
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The #BorowitzReport is on top form again this morning!
'At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt blasted Obama’s post, stating, “Sharing actual footage of events that really happened is something that President Trump would never do.”'
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Sometimes you just gotta laugh...
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Sometimes you just gotta laugh...
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Musk puts Trump in charge of new unit called DOZE
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/musk-puts-trump-in-charge-of-new?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2337656&post_id=158048283&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=9gvzv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email
#BorowitzReport #parody #USPol #SleepyDon -
Musk puts Trump in charge of new unit called DOZE
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/musk-puts-trump-in-charge-of-new?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2337656&post_id=158048283&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=9gvzv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email
#BorowitzReport #parody #USPol #SleepyDon -
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CW: Political Satire
#politics #Satire #Musk #ElonMusk #Fascism #Borowitzreport
“When Elon Musk capped his Inauguration Day speech with a salute highly reminiscent of a certain someone, the Internet reacted with justifiable outrage.
But among the adjectives used to describe his gesture—far-right, fascist, and Hitlery—there was one glaring omission: unoriginal.A TBR investigation reveals that it’s long been common MAGA practice to punctuate a moment of triumph with Adolf’s favorite gesture,…”
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CW: Political Satire
#politics #Satire #Musk #ElonMusk #Fascism #Borowitzreport
“When Elon Musk capped his Inauguration Day speech with a salute highly reminiscent of a certain someone, the Internet reacted with justifiable outrage.
But among the adjectives used to describe his gesture—far-right, fascist, and Hitlery—there was one glaring omission: unoriginal.A TBR investigation reveals that it’s long been common MAGA practice to punctuate a moment of triumph with Adolf’s favorite gesture,…”
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Sorry, World
Andy Borowitz shares his look into the two sides of Elise Stefanik, Trump's pick for UN ambassador
#BorowitzReport #parody #uspol #UN #EliseStefanik #DonaldTrump #LizCheney #GeorgeSantos #NY #NYRep
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/sorry-world?r=badto&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web -
Sorry, World
Andy Borowitz shares his look into the two sides of Elise Stefanik, Trump's pick for UN ambassador
#BorowitzReport #parody #uspol #UN #EliseStefanik #DonaldTrump #LizCheney #GeorgeSantos #NY #NYRep
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/sorry-world?r=badto&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web -
' "We did not take this decision lightly,” TBR’s editorial board wrote. “But after carefully weighing the strengths and weaknesses of the two presidential candidates, The Borowitz Report has decided to endorse the one who does not resemble Hitler.” '
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' "We did not take this decision lightly,” TBR’s editorial board wrote. “But after carefully weighing the strengths and weaknesses of the two presidential candidates, The Borowitz Report has decided to endorse the one who does not resemble Hitler.” '
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Who doesn’t need election therapy at this point?!?! Waiting for Andy Borowitz to take the stage at McCarter Theater in Princeton. #Borowitzreport #uspol #Election2024 #laughorcryitisthesamerelease
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Jeff Bezos Sells Washington Post’s Integrity in Latest Amazon Prime Deal
#BorowitzReport #parody #WaPo
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/jeff-bezos-sells-washington-posts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto&triedRedirect=true
