#birdsoflinkedin — Public Fediverse posts on home.social

Evan Rowe @[email protected] · 2025-10-25 · 20:14 UTC

I was walking on the beach with my cousin.

He’s a director of sales at a well-known shell distribution firm, and lately his business has been struggling.

“Jim,” he said, “I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong. We’ve invested in our stick infrastructure, removed obstacles from nearby sand dunes, and our guys are always first to hit the pavement when a hot dog or trash drops. Shell sales are down 20% the last three quarters running, whatever that means.”

I looked at him straight in his beady eyes.

“Stanley. You’re too focused on checking boxes and not enough on the big sky.”

“Your entire gull force is busy following steps and none of them are executing where it matters. You’ve lost sight of the reason we are out here at all.”

He was shocked.

“Jim, how do we fix it?”

“Easy,” I told him. “Forget about sticks, forget about trash. It’s all about having goals.”

“Gulls?”

“GOALS. Goals for Gulls, my battle-tested framework for guaranteed increases in YoY G2G shell earnings.”

I gave him a copy of my book and within a single quarter, Stanley’s entire department had turned around, and they had taken majority market share on shell distribution for ten whole miles of coastline.

Now Stanley and his gulls can get back to what’s fun; harvesting dead crabs and shitting on people.

#goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide #shitonpeople #caw

#goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide #caw

Evan Rowe @evrowe · 2025-10-25 · 20:14 UTC

I was walking on the beach with my cousin.

He’s a director of sales at a well-known shell distribution firm, and lately his business has been struggling.

“Jim,” he said, “I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong. We’ve invested in our stick infrastructure, removed obstacles from nearby sand dunes, and our guys are always first to hit the pavement when a hot dog or trash drops. Shell sales are down 20% the last three quarters running, whatever that means.”

I looked at him straight in his beady eyes.

“Stanley. You’re too focused on checking boxes and not enough on the big sky.”

“Your entire gull force is busy following steps and none of them are executing where it matters. You’ve lost sight of the reason we are out here at all.”

He was shocked.

“Jim, how do we fix it?”

“Easy,” I told him. “Forget about sticks, forget about trash. It’s all about having goals.”

“Gulls?”

“GOALS. Goals for Gulls, my battle-tested framework for guaranteed increases in YoY G2G shell earnings.”

I gave him a copy of my book and within a single quarter, Stanley’s entire department had turned around, and they had taken majority market share on shell distribution for ten whole miles of coastline.

Now Stanley and his gulls can get back to what’s fun; harvesting dead crabs and shitting on people.

#goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide #shitonpeople #caw

#shitonpeople #goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide

Evan Rowe @[email protected] · 2025-10-25 · 20:14 UTC

I was walking on the beach with my cousin.

He’s a director of sales at a well-known shell distribution firm, and lately his business has been struggling.

“Jim,” he said, “I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong. We’ve invested in our stick infrastructure, removed obstacles from nearby sand dunes, and our guys are always first to hit the pavement when a hot dog or trash drops. Shell sales are down 20% the last three quarters running, whatever that means.”

I looked at him straight in his beady eyes.

“Stanley. You’re too focused on checking boxes and not enough on the big sky.”

“Your entire gull force is busy following steps and none of them are executing where it matters. You’ve lost sight of the reason we are out here at all.”

He was shocked.

“Jim, how do we fix it?”

“Easy,” I told him. “Forget about sticks, forget about trash. It’s all about having goals.”

“Gulls?”

“GOALS. Goals for Gulls, my battle-tested framework for guaranteed increases in YoY G2G shell earnings.”

I gave him a copy of my book and within a single quarter, Stanley’s entire department had turned around, and they had taken majority market share on shell distribution for ten whole miles of coastline.

Now Stanley and his gulls can get back to what’s fun; harvesting dead crabs and shitting on people.

#goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide #shitonpeople #caw

#shitonpeople #caw #riseandglide #birdsoflinkedin #bossbird #gullforce

Evan Rowe @[email protected] · 2025-10-25 · 20:14 UTC

I was walking on the beach with my cousin.

He’s a director of sales at a well-known shell distribution firm, and lately his business has been struggling.

“Jim,” he said, “I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong. We’ve invested in our stick infrastructure, removed obstacles from nearby sand dunes, and our guys are always first to hit the pavement when a hot dog or trash drops. Shell sales are down 20% the last three quarters running, whatever that means.”

I looked at him straight in his beady eyes.

“Stanley. You’re too focused on checking boxes and not enough on the big sky.”

“Your entire gull force is busy following steps and none of them are executing where it matters. You’ve lost sight of the reason we are out here at all.”

He was shocked.

“Jim, how do we fix it?”

“Easy,” I told him. “Forget about sticks, forget about trash. It’s all about having goals.”

“Gulls?”

“GOALS. Goals for Gulls, my battle-tested framework for guaranteed increases in YoY G2G shell earnings.”

I gave him a copy of my book and within a single quarter, Stanley’s entire department had turned around, and they had taken majority market share on shell distribution for ten whole miles of coastline.

Now Stanley and his gulls can get back to what’s fun; harvesting dead crabs and shitting on people.

#goalsforgulls #gullforce #bossbird #birdsoflinkedin #riseandglide #shitonpeople #caw