#badpoems — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #badpoems, aggregated by home.social.
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CW: Cw-sweary, grumpy rant, bad haiku
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#badpoems
There's once was a man from Sodom
Who liked things put up his bottom
He'd give it all a thrash
Put it up his ass
I'm glad he wasn't from Gomorra.Badum -
#badpoems
There's once was a man from Sodom
Who liked things put up his bottom
He'd give it all a thrash
Put it up his ass
I'm glad he wasn't from Gomorra.Badum -
Today's top ten tag trends:
10: #worldphotographyday
9: #saturday
8: #sweaus
7: #perfectperpwalksong
6: #coys
5: #BVBKOE
4: #fifawwc
3: #catsofmastodon
2: #badpoems
1: #caturday -
Today's top ten tag trends:
10: #worldphotographyday
9: #saturday
8: #sweaus
7: #perfectperpwalksong
6: #coys
5: #BVBKOE
4: #fifawwc
3: #catsofmastodon
2: #badpoems
1: #caturday -
The hand is quicker
Than the eye is,
But somewhat slower
Than the fly is. -
The hand is quicker
Than the eye is,
But somewhat slower
Than the fly is. -
Who is it seeks my Pillow Nights?
A Cat who poops but never wipes. -
Who is it seeks my Pillow Nights?
A Cat who poops but never wipes. -
A shudder in the loins engenders there
Stains that won’t wash out of underwear. -
A shudder in the loins engenders there
Stains that won’t wash out of underwear. -
Fear no more the heat o’ the Sun:
With lotion, bask ‘til you’re well done. -
Fear no more the heat o’ the Sun:
With lotion, bask ‘til you’re well done. -
Home is the place where, when you have to go there
They make you mow the lawn or shovel snow there. -
Home is the place where, when you have to go there
They make you mow the lawn or shovel snow there. -
Politics, it seems to me,
For years, or all too long,
Has been concerned with right or left
Instead of right or wrong. -
Politics, it seems to me,
For years, or all too long,
Has been concerned with right or left
Instead of right or wrong. -
When I have fears that I may cease to be,
I have another drink, or two or three. -
When I have fears that I may cease to be,
I have another drink, or two or three. -
Good sportsmanship we hail, we sing.
It’s always pleasant when you spot it.
There’s only one unhappy thing;
You have to lose to prove you’ve got it. -
Good sportsmanship we hail, we sing.
It’s always pleasant when you spot it.
There’s only one unhappy thing;
You have to lose to prove you’ve got it. -
The bride, white of hair, is stooped over her cane
Her faltering footsteps need guiding.
While down the church aisle, with wan toothless smile,
The groom in a wheelchair comes riding.
And who is this elderly couple you ask?
You’ll find, when you’ve closely explored it,
That here is that rare, most conservative pair,
Who waited ‘til they could afford it. -
The bride, white of hair, is stooped over her cane
Her faltering footsteps need guiding.
While down the church aisle, with wan toothless smile,
The groom in a wheelchair comes riding.
And who is this elderly couple you ask?
You’ll find, when you’ve closely explored it,
That here is that rare, most conservative pair,
Who waited ‘til they could afford it. -
#badpoems Because I could not stop for Death
He kindly stopped for me
I kicked the fucker in the crotch
And shot him in the knee. -
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm really tired because I stayed up all night playing video games when I know I really needed the rest.. but of course I'm hard-headed and didn't go to sleep until 6am. Now my sleep schedule is all screwed up and I'm going to pay for it on Monday. -
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm really tired because I stayed up all night playing video games when I know I really needed the rest.. but of course I'm hard-headed and didn't go to sleep until 6am. Now my sleep schedule is all screwed up and I'm going to pay for it on Monday. -
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There once was a man
From Nantucket, who couldn't
Write a haiku -
There once was a man
From Nantucket, who couldn't
Write a haiku -
I’ve an allergy to carrots,
And really don’t know why,
I cannot see for ages,
When I poke one in my eye.
#BadPoems #HashtagGames -
"Foreign Policy" by George Carlin:
There's a goofy guy
Let's hit him in the eye! -
Roses are red
Violets are purple
I drank so much soda
It made me burple 🥤 -
In Xanadu did QAnon
A deep state conspiracy decree
Where alpha males, Alex Jones and the Q shaman
FOX, hate, fear, and bigotry ran
measureless to man
Sundowner syndrome, Hannity- Marjorie Taylor Coleridge
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In Xanadu did QAnon
A deep state conspiracy decree
Where alpha males, Alex Jones and the Q shaman
FOX, hate, fear, and bigotry ran
measureless to man
Sundowner syndrome, Hannity- Marjorie Taylor Coleridge
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I'm not a Cassandra
But I gotta say
That for Donald J Trump
There'll soon be a Day
Of Reckoning and I
Don't want to spoil it
But soon he'll be missing
His naff golden toilet. -
I'm not a Cassandra
But I gotta say
That for Donald J Trump
There'll soon be a Day
Of Reckoning and I
Don't want to spoil it
But soon he'll be missing
His naff golden toilet. -
All haikus are poems
Not all poems are haikus;
Chrysanthemumum -
In Xanadu did Sonny Malone A roller-skating rink decree: Where now, I realise that this gag Is pretty niche and lacking a punchline Blah blah sunless sea.
#BadPoems #HashTagGames -
Five sweet potatoes
Sitting in my fridge.
It’s been two weeks now.
Are they aspirational,
Or ornamental? -
🎸
Invite codes all in my brain
"Skeeting things" just don't quite sound sane
They think it's funny, I don't know why
Scuse me while I diss bluesky -
A bonus volume of poetry: "Songs of Ignorance and of Expedience"
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With apologies to #AAMilne and #WinnieThePooh
The more it
SNOWS-tiddley-pom
The more it
GOES-tiddley-pom
The more it
GOES-tiddley-pom
On snowingI really don't
KNOW-tiddley-pom
Why I left my
COAT-tiddley-pom
I think I should
GO-tiddley-pom
Back inside before
I freeze off my tiddley-pom! -
misshapen liveoak leaf
crook-backed squirrel spine
busted haiku -
There once was a joker from Japan
Whose limericks never scanned
He never could get it
His syllables to edit
And also couldn't think of another rhyme so he repeated Japan
