#autisticmasking — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #autisticmasking, aggregated by home.social.
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As I started unmasking, I had more encounters where I was actually expressing my real thoughts.
Sometimes it went fine. Sometimes it didn't. But in some ways it created more internal distress than when I was masking, because I was offering up more of my authentic self. And when that was rejected, it hurt more.
When I was offering up a mask, the rejection wasn't as personal.
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I tried fitting in, then standing out, and performed in order to earn acceptance. When it didn't work, I tried all of those things harder.
Until I couldn't anymore.
I burned out. Collapsed. My body said "no more."
For which I'm eternally grateful. Because that forced me to try something different. Something new. Something that ultimately transformed my entire life.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #AutisticBurnout #Burnout #AutisticMasking #unmasking
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Even though I’ve been unmasking, and sorting out my internalized ableism and internalized capitalism, and other unhealthy cultural messaging, for around eight years now, I still routinely find new aspects to unpack.
I found another big cluster recently and would like to share that with you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LXH2bVyLKE
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #AutisticMasking #unmasking
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Masking is far more than simply adopting a social self, in the way that almost all people do to some extent.
It is, in fact, violating your own nature for the comfort of others, or as a means of protecting yourself.
That's a very different thing.#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD
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If you masked your way through life well enough that you didn’t get the label of autistic – maybe you were labeled other things: quirky, different, weird, etc., but you didn’t get autistic – you masked well enough that you have learned a lot of being able to pick up signals from other people. 1/4
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In Hiding, a short story by Wilmar H. Shiras, written in 1948, is such a good depiction of autistic experience, of that necessity to mask, of being accused of lying about being able to do something just because the accusers can’t conceive the fact that you can do something they can’t, of existing within your solitude taking joy in books, learning and creating
If you also read that short story, do you also feel it relatable?
@autistics
#autism
#AuDHD
#autisticMasking -
At times in my life when the external requirements on me have conflicted with my internal needs or reality, the dissonance between those two has proved immense, painful, energy draining, and lonely. 1/2
#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticMasking
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Masking isn't just exhausting. It's cortisol dysregulation, autoimmune risk, identity loss, and physical collapse. The research is clear. The body pays the price.
#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticMasking #Neurodivergent -
Autistic Masking saved my life I won't apologize for playing the unconscious game that we're designed to play. #Lore #Neurodivergent #Personal #Autism #Self-improvement #AutisticMasking #Synesthesia #BryantReview gardinerbryant.com/autistic-mas...
Autistic Masking saved my life -
Autistic Masking saved my life
> I won't apologize for playing the unconscious game that we're designed to play.
#Lore #Neurodivergent #Personal #Autism #Self-improvement #AutisticMasking #Synesthesia #BryantReview
https://gardinerbryant.com/autistic-masking-saved-my-life/?utm_campaign=widget&utm_source=mastodon
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I did people-pleasing and #AutisticMasking disguised as "customer service" until I had nothing left. 1/3
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A lot of what I had to unlearn when unmasking wasn't so much my own beliefs about myself, it was other people's concepts of what I "should" or "shouldn't" be that I had internalized over the years and accepted as true. 1/2
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #unmasking
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I want to float an idea.
There's a version of being sensitive to the other person, of being aware of them and attuned to them, that isn't masking. 1/3
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #unmasking
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People sometimes ask me what to say when they disclose their autism, like there's a script that'll guarantee a good reaction. But there isn't.
There's no perfect combination of words that'll make someone respond with acceptance and support no matter who they are or what they're carrying. 1/2
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking
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For Autistics, how people-pleasing usually develops is when the people around you are either telling you explicitly or kind of subtly giving you the message over and over and over, that your natural autistic reactions to things aren’t acceptable. 1/3
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AutisticMasking #Neurodiversity #AuDHD
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Masking isn't the same thing as being sensitive to other people. And being sensitive to other people isn't the same thing as masking.
There's a version of attunement — of being aware of someone, reading the room, adjusting how you show up — that isn't masking. It's just... being in relationship with another person.
Unmasking doesn't mean being insensitive. Those aren't the only options.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking
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I spent hours cooking for a table that remained empty. To me, a vague "okay" was a contractual commitment. To my guests, it meant nothing at all.
I discovered at forty-eight that my world is built on words that mean exactly what they say.
In this article, I analyze seven traits I have only now understood, starting with that lunch that never happened.
https://medium.com/invisible-illness/i-have-been-acting-for-48-years-without-knowing-it-ced0ff912889
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autism #Psychology #neurodiversity -
I absolutely despise clothes shopping. There are so many sensory things that are wrong with it. The fluorescent lights, the changing clothes, I barely can stand changing clothes twice a day in my own home, nevermind lots of clothes changes in a row where most of those clothes that I put on are going to have sensory issues in one way or another.
1/2#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Sensory #Unmasking #AutisticMasking
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At some point after learning to unmask, I started incorporating back more sensitivity and more attunement to the other person. Thinking about what their history is. What is it that they need? What will go over well?
Not in a way that is covering up who I am, but in a way that is just responsive to wanting to be kind to the other person.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #AutisticMasking #unmasking
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Autistic masking is a trauma response; there was a good reason why it started, and it’s going to bring up all sorts of insecurities to not protect yourself in this way.
Trying to unmask without that inner work often produces less than optimal results, reinforcing messages around not being good at people, that people will never accept you for who you are, etc.
#AutisticMasking #unmasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity
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I think the essence of masking is that you're taking on harm to yourself in order to avoid doing harm to others.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD
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We can only override our needs for so long before the effects of doing so become unignorable.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking #AutisticBurnout
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However someone reacts to you disclosing to them that you’re autistic, that’s just their first reaction. It’s not necessarily going to be their last reaction.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #unmasking
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A functional #autistic life doesn’t come from imitating a neurotypical life.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking
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Masking is a verb. They are things some of us do, not who we are.
I see them as descriptions of how I sometimes get by in the world, not a label of who I am.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD
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Pretending not to be autistic, or to be like everybody else, takes so much energy and effort that there is little left for dealing with things that come up as part of everyday life.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking #AutisticBurnout
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There is no right or wrong answer on who you disclose your autism to. There are only choices and results, and you get to decide which combination you’re more willing to live with.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #unmasking
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For those of us who mask, it is often some version of oppressing ourselves, of believing that we were wrong to be the way we were. And at some point that was a belief that was helpful to us.
But it’s also a lie, and you don’t have to live with that forever.
#AutisticMasking #unmasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity