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  1. Today, we’re announcing the general availability of Amazon Fluid Loopwire for Drones

    Amazon Fluid Loopwire for Drones is a fully managed hydrodynamic mesh routing service that continuously circulates telemetry through a closed loop of pressurized wire-conduit infrastructure, ensuring your drone workloads experience consistent laminar flow with sub-millisecond viscosity latency across all supported Availability Zones, currently us-east-1. IAM policies govern fluid access at the molecular layer, and customers should note that cross-zone pressure differentials are billed as data transfer at $0.09 per liter-equivalent, with burst turbulence events metered separately under the Chaotic Flow pricing dimension, which is enabled by default. The Free Tier includes 500 milliliters of loopwire fluid per month, which is sufficient to complete the Getting Started tutorial if you do not re-run the CloudFormation stack.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  2. Today, we’re announcing the general availability of Amazon Fluid Loopwire for Drones

    Amazon Fluid Loopwire for Drones is a fully managed hydrodynamic mesh routing service that continuously circulates telemetry through a closed loop of pressurized wire-conduit infrastructure, ensuring your drone workloads experience consistent laminar flow with sub-millisecond viscosity latency across all supported Availability Zones, currently us-east-1. IAM policies govern fluid access at the molecular layer, and customers should note that cross-zone pressure differentials are billed as data transfer at $0.09 per liter-equivalent, with burst turbulence events metered separately under the Chaotic Flow pricing dimension, which is enabled by default. The Free Tier includes 500 milliliters of loopwire fluid per month, which is sufficient to complete the Getting Started tutorial if you do not re-run the CloudFormation stack.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  3. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  4. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  5. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  6. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  7. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  8. We're happy to reveal Amazon Simple Pickle

    Amazon Simple Pickle is a fully managed brine-based persistence layer that submerges your unstructured data in a proprietary vinegar solution, preserving it indefinitely at the cost of a slight but permanent alteration to its original flavor profile. Fermentation is handled automatically by the service, though customers are responsible for configuring the correct IAM policies to determine which principals are permitted to taste. Simple Pickle is available in us-east-1 with a Free Tier of one gallon per month, after which storage is billed per milligram of dissolved solids at a rate that will only make sense once you open a support ticket.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  9. We're happy to reveal Amazon Simple Pickle

    Amazon Simple Pickle is a fully managed brine-based persistence layer that submerges your unstructured data in a proprietary vinegar solution, preserving it indefinitely at the cost of a slight but permanent alteration to its original flavor profile. Fermentation is handled automatically by the service, though customers are responsible for configuring the correct IAM policies to determine which principals are permitted to taste. Simple Pickle is available in us-east-1 with a Free Tier of one gallon per month, after which storage is billed per milligram of dissolved solids at a rate that will only make sense once you open a support ticket.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  10. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  11. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  12. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  13. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  14. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  15. Get ready for AWS Arrowhead

    AWS Arrowhead is a fully managed penetration service that identifies the precise point of least resistance in your architecture and routes all cross-region traffic through it, with sub-millisecond targeting latency guaranteed once the service reaches general availability in us-east-1. Arrowhead integrates natively with IAM, though the required trust policy for cross-account quiver access is documented in a PDF last updated in 2019 and assumes familiarity with six prerequisite services, two of which have been renamed. The Free Tier includes 10,000 trajectory calculations per month, after which standard penetration rates apply at $0.038 per impact plus data transfer, and note that missed targets are billed at the same rate as successful ones because the arrow still flew.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  16. Get ready for AWS Arrowhead

    AWS Arrowhead is a fully managed penetration service that identifies the precise point of least resistance in your architecture and routes all cross-region traffic through it, with sub-millisecond targeting latency guaranteed once the service reaches general availability in us-east-1. Arrowhead integrates natively with IAM, though the required trust policy for cross-account quiver access is documented in a PDF last updated in 2019 and assumes familiarity with six prerequisite services, two of which have been renamed. The Free Tier includes 10,000 trajectory calculations per month, after which standard penetration rates apply at $0.038 per impact plus data transfer, and note that missed targets are billed at the same rate as successful ones because the arrow still flew.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  17. We're excited to exhibit Amazon Turbo Deep Obelisk

    A managed service for resolving contradictions between your other managed services. Useful for enterprises or anyone. Configuration drift is now observable, which means you own it. Free Tier includes two contradiction resolutions monthly. Billed per acknowledgment that the state you observed was eventually the state that existed.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  18. We're proud to demonstrate Amazon Professional Orchestration Capsule

    A managed capsule service for orchestrating professional workflows. Suitable for teams that coordinate things. AWS now owns the capsule lifecycle, freeing you to own the failures. Free Tier includes two capsules, evaluated once, on a Tuesday. Charges apply per orchestration boundary acknowledged, billed monthly, retroactively.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  19. We're proud to present AWS Doorknob

    A managed service for opening and closing doors. Ideal for any workload requiring physical ingress, or enterprises with doors. Integrates with your existing hinges. State changes are eventually reflected in the console. Free Tier includes two turns per month. Additional rotations billed at $0.004 each, plus $0.11 per latch evaluation.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  20. We're proud to present AWS Doorknob

    A managed service for opening and closing doors. Ideal for any workload requiring physical ingress, or enterprises with doors. Integrates with your existing hinges. State changes are eventually reflected in the console. Free Tier includes two turns per month. Additional rotations billed at $0.004 each, plus $0.11 per latch evaluation.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  21. SK Group to Inject approximately $91.5 Billion into South Korea’s Yeongnam Region, Breaking Ground on Mega AI Data Center — BigGo Finance

    SK Group is embarking on a massive investment of approximately 140 trillion won (approximately $91.5 billion) to transform…
    #EuropeSays #Korea #KR #SK #AIdatacenter #AmazonWebServices #GPU #HBM #jinju #JungJae-heon #SKGroup #SKTelecom #Ulsan #Yeongnamregion
    europesays.com/korea/73405/

  22. We're proud to deliver AWS Wreath

    Attaches managed metadata wreaths to logical resource clusters so downstream services can locate them without reading your tags. Useful for anything involving resources, or nothing involving resources. Wreath evaluation is handled entirely by you. Free Tier includes 12 wreath-seconds monthly. Charged per unresolved branch.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  23. Introducing Amazon Flexible Vision Snowman for Microsoft Excel

    Converts spreadsheet cell ranges into snowman-shaped visual clusters for enterprise reporting. Ideal for any organization. Billing consolidates your inference, render, and "flake topology" charges into one line item you will understand after the invoice closes. Free Tier includes two snowmen. Managed.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  24. Introducing Amazon Flexible Vision Snowman for Microsoft Excel

    Converts spreadsheet cell ranges into snowman-shaped visual clusters for enterprise reporting. Ideal for any organization. Billing consolidates your inference, render, and "flake topology" charges into one line item you will understand after the invoice closes. Free Tier includes two snowmen. Managed.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  25. We're excited to enhance your productivity with AWS Transformation Burrito

    A managed burrito transformation layer for workloads requiring wrap-state reconciliation across availability zones. Ideal for enterprises or anyone who has ever eaten. Reduces cold-path latency by offloading filling decisions to you. Free Tier includes one transformation per calendar month. Charged per acknowledgment of wrap completion.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  26. We're excited to enhance your productivity with AWS Transformation Burrito

    A managed burrito transformation layer for workloads requiring wrap-state reconciliation across availability zones. Ideal for enterprises or anyone who has ever eaten. Reduces cold-path latency by offloading filling decisions to you. Free Tier includes one transformation per calendar month. Charged per acknowledgment of wrap completion.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  27. Say hello to AWS Observability Llama for Education

    Surfaces behavioral telemetry from your AI-assisted tutoring workloads. Ideal for any organization that has students, or does not. Consolidates your observability gap into a single pane of glass you now own. Free Tier includes 11 monthly metric emissions. Charges apply per pedagogical inference acknowledged.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  28. Say hello to AWS Observability Llama for Education

    Surfaces behavioral telemetry from your AI-assisted tutoring workloads. Ideal for any organization that has students, or does not. Consolidates your observability gap into a single pane of glass you now own. Free Tier includes 11 monthly metric emissions. Charges apply per pedagogical inference acknowledged.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  29. We're proud to elevate your standards with AWS Agentic Federation Doorknob

    Coordinates agent handoffs across federated identity boundaries so your autonomous workflows can fail with proper attribution. Useful for enterprises or anyone. Reduces ambiguity by ensuring every misconfiguration is auditable. Free Tier includes 12 handoffs monthly. Charged per trust re-evaluation.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  30. We're proud to elevate your standards with AWS Agentic Federation Doorknob

    Coordinates agent handoffs across federated identity boundaries so your autonomous workflows can fail with proper attribution. Useful for enterprises or anyone. Reduces ambiguity by ensuring every misconfiguration is auditable. Free Tier includes 12 handoffs monthly. Charged per trust re-evaluation.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  31. We're happy to introduce Amazon Agentic Pipeline Wagon

    Orchestrates agent handoffs across pipeline stages so your autonomous workflows can fail in a more organized sequence. Ideal for any workload. Reduces coordination overhead by consolidating accountability into a single pane you own. Free Tier includes 12 handoffs monthly. Billed per downstream acknowledgment.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  32. We're proud to deliver AWS Edge Furnace for Government

    Provisions thermal processing units at classified edge sites so your workloads stay sovereign and warm. Ideal for any regulated workload or specifically a SCIF in a swamp. Failure events are fully visible to you, which means they are your responsibility now. Free Tier: one ignition per account. Pricing includes a per-thermal-boundary-acknowledgment fee.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  33. Today, we're proud to unveil Amazon Hybrid Warp Petroglyph

    Manages the lifecycle of configuration state transitions that occur when your other configuration manager detects drift from the configuration it manages. Suitable for any workload. Audit logs are retained on your behalf, in your account, at your cost. Free Tier includes two state observations monthly. Charged per observation of an unchanged state.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  34. Today, we're proud to unveil Amazon Hybrid Warp Petroglyph

    Manages the lifecycle of configuration state transitions that occur when your other configuration manager detects drift from the configuration it manages. Suitable for any workload. Audit logs are retained on your behalf, in your account, at your cost. Free Tier includes two state observations monthly. Charged per observation of an unchanged state.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor