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#amazon-web-services — Public Fediverse posts

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  1. We're proud to pioneer the future with AWS Saucepan

    AWS Saucepan is a fully managed reduction service that applies sustained thermal pressure to your data pipelines, concentrating high-volume event streams into a dense, viscous output layer that pairs naturally with downstream consumers in the Glaze, Deglaze, and Fond product families. Saucepan handles all underlying burner infrastructure automatically, though you are responsible for monitoring heat distribution, configuring your own lid, and ensuring your IAM roles grant saucepan:Stir permissions to every principal that needs to agitate the stream, which is all of them. Saucepan is priced at $0.0023 per gigabyte reduced plus $0.000087 per simmer-hour per Availability Zone, with a Free Tier covering the first 500 milliliters of reduction per month, which is enough to complete the getting-started tutorial if you do not make any mistakes.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  2. We're proud to pioneer the future with AWS Saucepan

    AWS Saucepan is a fully managed reduction service that applies sustained thermal pressure to your data pipelines, concentrating high-volume event streams into a dense, viscous output layer that pairs naturally with downstream consumers in the Glaze, Deglaze, and Fond product families. Saucepan handles all underlying burner infrastructure automatically, though you are responsible for monitoring heat distribution, configuring your own lid, and ensuring your IAM roles grant saucepan:Stir permissions to every principal that needs to agitate the stream, which is all of them. Saucepan is priced at $0.0023 per gigabyte reduced plus $0.000087 per simmer-hour per Availability Zone, with a Free Tier covering the first 500 milliliters of reduction per month, which is enough to complete the getting-started tutorial if you do not make any mistakes.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  3. #AmazonWebServices will #stop accepting new customers for #MechanicalTurk, a crowdsourcing marketplace, on 30 July 2026. Existing users will not be impacted, but the service will no longer accept jobs for #SageMaker and other tasks. The reason for the retirement is unclear, though #AWS has developed competing services and allows integration with third-party platforms. theregister.com/off-prem/2026/ #tech #media #news

  4. #AmazonWebServices will #stop accepting new customers for #MechanicalTurk, a crowdsourcing marketplace, on 30 July 2026. Existing users will not be impacted, but the service will no longer accept jobs for #SageMaker and other tasks. The reason for the retirement is unclear, though #AWS has developed competing services and allows integration with third-party platforms. theregister.com/off-prem/2026/ #tech #media #news

  5. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  6. Introducing Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog

    Amazon Virtual Canoe for Your Dog is a fully managed paddling substrate that provisions buoyancy capacity across your dog's journey in discrete stroke-units, billed per paw per millisecond with a minimum charge of 744 hours whether your dog enters the canoe or not. The service includes native integration with AWS IAM, allowing you to define granular policies controlling which dogs in your organization may initiate forward momentum, reverse momentum, or look over the side, though the distinction between LookOverSide and LookOverSide:Extended must be configured separately in a resource-based policy attached to the canoe itself, which is a different policy from the identity-based policy attached to the dog, and you will need both. The Free Tier includes one dog and one canoe in us-east-1 for the first 30 days, after which your dog is still in the canoe.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  7. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  8. We're proud to demonstrate AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators

    AWS Parallel Orchestration Unicycle for Content Creators is a fully managed single-wheel content delivery framework that automatically balances your workloads across one axis, ensuring that any deviation from equilibrium triggers an auto-scaling event billed at $0.0043 per millisecond of corrective pedaling, with cross-region balance synchronization available in us-east-1 only and subject to a $94 monthly stabilization surcharge that is separate from data transfer. Unicycle integrates natively with IAM, requiring a minimum of fourteen policy attachments to achieve forward motion, and the managed balancing layer is managed in the sense that AWS manages whether balancing occurs, not that balancing will occur. The Free Tier includes one wheel.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  9. We're excited to make your work more enjoyable with AWS Clairvoyant Migration Lampshade

    Predicts your workload migration path before you migrate it. Useful for enterprises or anyone who has ever moved a file. Removes the uncertainty of not knowing what went wrong by surfacing findings after cutover. Free Tier includes two predictions monthly. Charged per revised prediction.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  10. We're excited to make your work more enjoyable with AWS Clairvoyant Migration Lampshade

    Predicts your workload migration path before you migrate it. Useful for enterprises or anyone who has ever moved a file. Removes the uncertainty of not knowing what went wrong by surfacing findings after cutover. Free Tier includes two predictions monthly. Charged per revised prediction.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  11. We're excited to empower you with AWS Plunger for Ride Sharing

    Coordinates shared ground transportation across availability zones. Ideal for enterprises with more than one employee or fewer than one destination. Drivers are eventually assigned. Free Tier includes two rides per month, neither of which will complete. Charges apply per route recalculation, per passenger acknowledgment, and per unfulfilled expectation at $0.0023 each.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  12. We're excited to empower you with AWS Plunger for Ride Sharing

    Coordinates shared ground transportation across availability zones. Ideal for enterprises with more than one employee or fewer than one destination. Drivers are eventually assigned. Free Tier includes two rides per month, neither of which will complete. Charges apply per route recalculation, per passenger acknowledgment, and per unfulfilled expectation at $0.0023 each.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  13. We're excited to reveal Amazon Tokenbeam

    Requires an active AWS Organizations structure, a tolerance for ambiguity, and acceptance that all token lifecycle decisions will henceforth be delegated to a regional consensus layer you cannot inspect. One token resolved free per calendar year. Billed per reconciliation event.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  14. We're excited to reveal Amazon Tokenbeam

    Requires an active AWS Organizations structure, a tolerance for ambiguity, and acceptance that all token lifecycle decisions will henceforth be delegated to a regional consensus layer you cannot inspect. One token resolved free per calendar year. Billed per reconciliation event.

    #aws #AmazonWebServices #CloudComputing #cloud #parody #humor

  15. #AmazonWebServices announced new #AIagents at the #AWSSummit in New York. The agents, including a security agent called #AWSContinuum and an AI assistant called #AmazonQuick, aim to maximise autonomy while keeping humans in control. #AWS also expanded its #AgentCore platform and introduced #AWSContext to organise data for agents. geekwire.com/2026/amazon-unvei #AIagent #AI #ML #NLP #LLM #GenAI

  16. #AmazonWebServices announced new #AIagents at the #AWSSummit in New York. The agents, including a security agent called #AWSContinuum and an AI assistant called #AmazonQuick, aim to maximise autonomy while keeping humans in control. #AWS also expanded its #AgentCore platform and introduced #AWSContext to organise data for agents. geekwire.com/2026/amazon-unvei #AIagent #AI #ML #NLP #LLM #GenAI